American giving birth in UK 1st time

[AshleyCali2Uk]

Hi Moms! I'll be giving birth in the UK for the first time in Jan 2024. I have 3 children I've given birth to in California so I know what to expect in the USA, but here in the UK I'm nervous. I read things like they kick you out as soon as possible, don't provide diapers. And being in a ward makes me nervous because I'm use to having my own room and space to turn the light off and have some peace and quiet. Can you please give me some advice.
What to expect for a c section mom. What to bring in my hospital bag. What's it like in a ward? Anything. Thank you so much.

Surely in Barnsley it's like knowing 3 languages (even in Yorkshire, the Barnsley accent is considered particularly broad).

First of all do you know you are having a CS? They are less common here.

Plan to take everything, you will not get the stripey blanket and a baby hat, and if it is a girl they will not stick bows on her head.

I'm assuming you are having an NHS birth, you can have a private birth either in a private hospital or in a private wing of an NHS hospital for about £8k.

The NHS also has 'utility beds' these are individual rooms on wards and are used for people who need to be away from the ward, usually because they are more ill, but if the room is not being used you can ask for it and you pay for the room, everything else is on the NHS.

I've not given birth but I have come across patients from the US in NHS hospitals who actually liked the ward because of the company.

Agree, the NHS is about trying to give the care needed for a healthy mother, baby and improve public health outcomes generally. It’s all about how can they best do that with the resources they’ve got. They haven’t really got the resources to be offering loads of extras that don’t make much of a difference to overall outcomes, which is why they may offer extras to some women e.g. antenatal classes or extra support to teenagers but not to women who are able to pay for their own classes or read up. This does vary from area to area though. My local trust offers an opportunity to discuss labour and birth with a midwife at 36 weeks and 1x 2 hour class ( place not guaranteed), each trust decides on their own priorities for their population, e.g my trust offers women home visits postnatally rather than just clinic appointments as a rural area but another trust may see antenatal classes as a higher priority, other trusts may be struggling just to staff their delivery suite safely. It really does vary around the country. Some areas struggle to recruit staff and staff and resources tend be quite different in different parts of the country. You probably get an amazing care experience in the highlands of Scotland but can be quite different in an over stretched inner city maternity unit where staff are having to look after quite a different population

Write your questions down to work thru with MW.
MWs are a bit scatty. I imagine it's having been exposed to too much gas & air (!!)

I had a c section (not in Barnsley, though not too far away) and my experience was fine. I was in for two days, desperate to go home and relax without everyone round me. You'll need to take your own nappies, formula (if planning to formula feed), snacks etc. I was given paracetamol and diclofenac (spelling?) to take home so definitely wasn't left with just paracetamol. Might be hospital specific. Some hospitals have amenity rooms where you can pay per night for a private room if available. Mine unfortunately don't offer this so worth checking. You can organise a hospital tour but it's not the most common here from my experience.

I’ve had two c sections in the U.K. first one we paid for me to have a private room £100 a night. That’s subject to availability.
second time I was on the ward, I preferred it - you get more midwives popping their heads round the curtain to check on you which I found helpful.

yes you do need to bring nappies/ diapers.
they do have formula for the first few days should you need it.
bring your own nice snacks etc and your own pillow! Also your own towel

You won't get a massive bill no matter what care you end up needing. You don't get the private room, nappies and ensuite but you get the care you need without facing personal bankruptcy or topping up insurance. That's what to expect in the NHS

Stuff like John Q and Breaking Bad shows just how bad things are in the US for people who can't afford their care.

Hopefully you won't need this info but if baby has to go to SCBU then be aware they will discharge you. So you could be there 24/7 but not being fed!

This happened to my sister and we had to take her food parcels! (She did have a bed - there were some rooms for mums in that position but no way to get food easily).

My C section was relatively straightforward but I was glad I had water, snacks, ear plugs, eye mask, light clothing (30+ degrees in December).

Good luck.

Ha no, it’s having 100 different things to assess for each woman in a 20 minute slot at the same time as answering a woman’s questions, I would advise to ask but try and look up what you can yourself online first as unless a quiet day the midwife won’t have time for a long discussion

Also I’m laughing at people who are shocked they don’t give out free baby blankets for everyone to take home and baby is wrapped in a towel (the horror)

as if the NHS has spare cash to be giving out free keepsake blankets to patients when it’s on its knees trying give medical care not bloody baby blankets.

It will differ by hospital. One hospital wanted me to provide the milk for my dc. So when I gave birth the second time in a different hospital, I took the milk, only to find out, they prefer you use the ready made up disposable bottles. They had all the brands in too, so you just picked what brand you wanted.

Ring them up if you aren’t sure on what you need.

Talk to your midwife.
My daughter gave birth at Barnsley hospital 2 years ago. European I was her birthing partner. She was the midwife was great, facilities were good but she had to stay in for 3 days afterwards because of a bleed and was on a 4 bed ward. They don't have single bed rooms.

They don't "kick you out" as you keep saying. Stop being so dramatic. If you need to be in hospital, they will keep you in, if you don't then - surprise surprise - they discharge you. You're making it very you vs them. It's a 2-way relationship you're entering into.

If you're unhappy that you'll be expected to be independent and receive 'only' necessary medical & midwifery care then go private or give birth somewhere more suited to your tastes. They're neither a babysitting service or there to parent you and other patients. If you cry over little things that you "aren't used to" then you're in for a rough ride. It's a very busy service in a developed country with high educational standards for midwives & doctors. And, being humans and going into a (relatively) poorly remunerated but caring profession, staff do care. It's the bad ones that make the news, obviously.

@whatausername woah calm down! I'm just here to get information and educate myself please. These ladies have been very helpful. And i m very thankful for them all. I know I'm in the UK which is why I'm asking UK mums so I'm better prepared and in the right frame of mind. Thank you

😂😂😂 see I had no idea the NHS was even like this . My first experience with them is my pregnancy and soon my birth. Sounds like they are making it work with what they have. 😂😂

That's all I want a good experience and to be well taken care of. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I've always have insurance and never was billed a single thing. You do get use to being spoiled there. But I am aware this is a different country and different system I need to educate myself on. You all have been great with the super detailed information. I feel more and more prepared with each post !

I know, while elderly people are waiting hours on a floor for an ambulance or people waiting months for surgery to enable them to function half normally again 🙈

Yes I wanted my mom to book a flight from California to here but not knowing when to come is difficult so we have had to make other arrangements and she'll come a few months later. Sucks but hey !

😂😂😂 noooo don't say that!!!

No the children stay with you and never leave your sight unless they have some issues then they go to the NICU. For my children they stayed with me from the time they were cut out of me to the time we left. My first being in 2011, then 2013 and last 2020.
So I had to look after them all myself until we left.

Bring your own food as they won't necessarily feed you, for example if the dr is talking to you when they bring the meals they tend to just skip you. Breakfast is down the corridor so if you can't walk you won't get any.

Bring an Eye mask as there may be a fluorescent strip over your bed that can't be switched off. Wards are hotter than hell, loud and there is no privacy. You will probably be desperate to leave (I was out 24h after c section each time).

Be aware that if you want to be discharged it will take several hours for the pharmacy to dispense your drugs. Various doctors will need to sign you off before you can leave and if you go to the loo and miss their round you might not get to leave

Good luck. Sorry to be the voice of doom but honestly I'd prepare for an uncomfortable experience.

Oh and two of the three post natal wards I was on had no working shower (at all)

😳 oh my goodness! That experience is something that she will stick with for a lifetime. I hate that for her.

It's a bit different everywhere, so will be good to find out what to expect where you are. I had a c section towards the end of the pandemic so things were a bit more restricted. Partners were only allowed on the ward from 1-8. On the plus side I got given, ibuprofen, paracetamol, oral morphine and stool softener and sent home with these too, while others I know just had paracetamol and ibuprofen. Nurses were great and responsive to me pressing the buzzer the first 24hrs and getting baby in and out of the crib for me to feed, after that I was mobile and did it myself, others I know had less response to buzzers. I stayed 2 nights and was happy to go home, I was on a 4 bed ward and no one was particularly noisy, but the babies would wake each other up. The nurses did take my baby for a few hours overnight so I could get some sleep.

Health workers/midwives that do home visits after birth can be luck of the draw, we had some really great ones.

Absolutely you can't ! Which is why I'm so happy I got on here to educate myself and see just how different things are. Which honestly isn't that bad you know especially if you're prepared and know what to expect and I think you all have done amazing at explaining things to me so I'm ready. Not even thinking about America! We're in the UK now. 😊😊