American giving birth in UK 1st time

[AshleyCali2Uk]

Hi Moms! I'll be giving birth in the UK for the first time in Jan 2024. I have 3 children I've given birth to in California so I know what to expect in the USA, but here in the UK I'm nervous. I read things like they kick you out as soon as possible, don't provide diapers. And being in a ward makes me nervous because I'm use to having my own room and space to turn the light off and have some peace and quiet. Can you please give me some advice.
What to expect for a c section mom. What to bring in my hospital bag. What's it like in a ward? Anything. Thank you so much.

😳😳 omg I don't mean to laugh but I could see myself in this situation both boobs out frustrated and the curtains being swung open with all the other mums and dads in the room! Oh my goodness! Like they should allow you to open and close it. Obviously if it's closed it's for a reason!

Ask your midwife about ante natal classes or Google nhs ante natal class + your area to see if they run them. I'd expect you to be having them around now. They do a block and then restart with a new block, so if you leave it too late you might have the baby before the classes finish - happened to a lady in the classes I went to!

Often they don't expect mothers who already have children to go to them so they may not have thought about you not knowing how the NHS works, just thought 'she knows how to look after a baby'! I've just googled my area and it looks like they do virtual classes now not f2f.

My advice? Go private.

Take your own pillow, they may not have one available. If possible a phone charger with a long lead. The sockets are high up on the wall and it will be difficult for you to reach round to the side to get your phone. Also as many healthy snacks as you can pack. Hospital food here is awful. Good luck!

I had a pretty good experience last week with the NHS after an emergency c section.

Lactation consultants came in to help frequently for breastfeeding help. I saw 3 different ones and they were all excellent, giving really good tips and making sure baby latched well.

Several doctors, midwifes etc. came to check me and baby regularly. The anaesthetist even popped in the next day to ensure all was OK after my epidural.

Food was fine but portions small so most people also brought snacks or some even ordered Deliveroo.
Also, dinner was at 5pm (!). I was starving by 10pm and a lovely midwife brought me toast.

3 other mums on the ward so it got really noisy with visitors and sleep at night was impossible due to the babies crying and machines beeping.

I brought all my own nappies/ wipes /maternity pads etc.

I did ask about a private room but as I was only staying one night and it was late by that time, the midwife said it probably wasn't worth it.

Room was quite warm so I'd suggest you bring light things to sleep in, as well as flip flops for the shower as we had a wet room.

Our trust has started allowing mums to "self medicate" so all of the pain relief / anti clot injections were in a safe and we were expected to take them ourselves. Hubby helped day 1 with this.

Water jugs were only 750mls and filled twice daily so worth bringing your own big water bottles.

Ime it completely depends on the nurse. Some are aware that people want privacy sometimes and are happy to walk up and peek in every so often to check you're OK. If you're just sat reading they will probably ask for the curtain to be open.

Some want to stand in the corridor and not come in the bay unless someone has died.

This is my situation kind of because I think I may be going into labor which worries me.
So , I'm due 4th Feb
They wanted to schedule my section for the week of 29th Jan but bc the want any availability they scheduled my section for 8th Feb and said if I go into labor they will just do it then or if something opens up I'll be moved to a having it sooner.

In America I've always had a set date (except my first delivery) so this we will see makes me nervous 😬

It's unlikely to be the same midwife once you've given birth

I've had paracetamol, ibuprofen and dihydrocodeine all week.

With regards curtains being kept open, mine were always closed and anyone who came in would do a pretend knock and call out first. Curtains are paper thin though!

Chances are other women will go into labour before their planned date, so slots will open up. I shouldn't worry unduly.

But I appreciate it makes planning things like childcare difficult!

Some hospitals have private rooms which you can pay to use, but it’s unlikely they will let you use them on the first night after a c section. I have had two c sections at two different hospitals and with my first, I was kept in for 3 nights and each time the room was in use and with my second, I was discharged after one night so never needed to ask for the room.

Having used two different hospitals, it really does depend on the hospital and the people who are in the ward with you at the same time. With my first, it was during Covid and it was the typical NHS experience of pressing a buzzer, waiting 20 minutes for someone to come and another 20 minutes to get what you asked for. With my second, they had higher staff numbers so my buzzer was responded to within a couple of minutes each time, with my request seen to right away.

I gave birth at different hospitals as we moved, but there really is a lottery when it comes to hospitals.

I was also lucky both times that there was no one super annoying or loud in my room when I was on the ward. First time, partners weren’t allowed to stay so it was quiet, second time partners were allowed to say but 4 out of the other 5 beds were second children so the fathers all went home so that there was only one partner on the ward all night long, and he was respectful and quiet rather than a horror story you here about on here.

In relation to the c sections, the hospital I had my first ignored all my requests for the birth. With my second, a friend of mine gave birth at the second hospital and told me she had the same experience, so I went in with low expectations but they observed all my requests. So again, it also depends on who is looking after you!

My advice - go in with low expectations, so that you’re not disappointed but pleasantly surprised when it goes much better!

Giving birth in Barnsley when you're used to California.

Good luck.

With my first, my waters broke a week before my c section date so I went in right away, waited six hours and then had my c section.

With my second, I started having contractions a few days before my c section date, but as it was slow and the early stages, they told me to keep an eye on it and if it becomes too painful, to call them. As it happened, I managed at home until my planned c section date.

I would advise paying for a private room for postnatal. I think we paid about £200per night.

If you want effective pain relief after a c section you really have to fight for it. They dont like to send you home with anything strong. I've never had a c section but lots of my friends paid for stronger pain relief via a private prescription, again I don't think this would cost more than £200.

Very much so. I had a c section both times.

With my first, I had various issues so was kept in for 3 nights. With my second, there were no issues and I was able to walk around so went home the following day, which I was keen on!

Had two c-sections with the NHS and honestly I think you are mad wanting to stay in hospital over 24 hours! Take your own paracetamol and ibuprofen. They will get you up and moving as soon as your spinal has worn off. You don’t need a binder to help you move, you’ll be fine. Take snacks, phone charger, iPad and headphones. You won’t be able to sleep because the ward is always busy with people and you/baby will be checked constantly. Get the catheter out asap and drink loads of water late at night then sit on the toilet and hold your hand under the running tap to wee. Bring nappies, wipes, clothes for baby. Bring your own pillow. I actually love the NHS hospital food but even that isn’t enough to make me want to stay longer than I have to!

My neighbour's daughter had a c-section this Wednesday (her 2nd child) and was sent home the following day as all was deemed ok. But, as others have said she will have people visiting to make sure all is good.

Bring everything that you need, as if you were giving birth at home.

In America, do they still take all the babies away and put them in a separate room altogether like they do in films? They certainly don't do that here!

The stark difference that I have seen (albeit through visiting family members in both countries rather than having a baby) is that in the UK the midwives see themselves as health care and social workers. Some can be quite patronising and domineering. It came across as quite controlling and de-humanising. They know best, will dismiss the woman’s requests and they really really push breastfeeding. My 35 year old solicitor sister was spoken to like she was a not very bright 14 year old.

my cousin in America was treated more like an adult in receipt of a medical service.

I often wonder how how health system would treat men in the same Circumstances.

I think you can't compare UK and US. You're paying for one, the other you're getting it free from an already stretched service.

I had DS five years ago and we paid about £150 a night for a private room. I think a lot of hospitals have private rooms so that might be something you could lot into when you're choosing your hospital.

Just a reminder that the NHS is not free, it's free at the point of delivery, we all share the cost which is definitely paying for it.

I agree, it's like comparing apples with oranges. If you want all the bells and whistles you're going to have to pay for them.

😂

Op you'll be fine, the NHS isn't perfect but you won't be handed a massive bill at the same time as they hand you your baby so 🤷‍♀️

For all the people saying go private please watch or read 'this is going to hurt' by Adam Kay for a good explanation of why that's a bad idea when giving birth.