American giving birth in UK 1st time

[AshleyCali2Uk]

Hi Moms! I'll be giving birth in the UK for the first time in Jan 2024. I have 3 children I've given birth to in California so I know what to expect in the USA, but here in the UK I'm nervous. I read things like they kick you out as soon as possible, don't provide diapers. And being in a ward makes me nervous because I'm use to having my own room and space to turn the light off and have some peace and quiet. Can you please give me some advice.
What to expect for a c section mom. What to bring in my hospital bag. What's it like in a ward? Anything. Thank you so much.

Do they have the lights on at all times ? Or cut them off or low at night ?

This is not true at all. If anything you get better care and attention with private. Higher incidents of neglect with the NHS pls look at the statistics

I had both my CS in the Uk and was in for four days. They'll keep you in until you're fit. No way would you go home on the same day

I can't see info on the website about tours. I presume they all stopped during Covid and maybe they haven't restarted? No harm in asking though. I'd call the ward 01226 432242

I'm happy to know they will keep you as long as needed after a c section bc I was never ready to go home after 24hrs.

it was the norm in my area back when my dc were born

Low lights OP.
Ward lights were out on mine at night but there was a light I could turn on in my own bay (closed my curtain) if necessary. I just found night staff really loud whenever I delivered here. Partners staying overnight is exhausting because they’re snappy, argumentative, tired, and chatting most of the night. I never had anyone stay with me. Post birth hospital stay was always extremely tiring in my own experience. Some new mothers really make it an event and if you’re sharing a room, that can be a bit tedious. I couldn’t wait to get home, every time!

I think a key thing to get your head around is that you're not a customer in the way you would be in a private system. The staff are prioritising care, allocating resource and meeting targets but they don't have your satisfaction as a key goal, if you see what I mean. So they won't give a shit if you don't like the food etc!

In my experience, level of care around birth is fine (I've had cs and vbac) but post natal wards can be hard due to understaffing and limited privacy. Probably harder for first kid when it's all a shock than fourth time around!

My local hospitals do open days, I think most do.

I had one vaginal birth with a large tear afterwards that was surgically repaired, and they wouldn't let me go home for 4 days afterwards. So they won't kick you out if there is a clinical reason to stay.

My second was an elective section and I was discharged after 24 hours.

In my experience the care is pretty good while you are in labour/theatre and the recovery area post op, it's just the postnatal ward that is grim. I was desperate to be discharged asap so I could go home and sleep. I was in 4 bed bay both times and it was hot and noisy. I thought the food was fine but I'm not really fussy. They kept me well topped up with painkillers so I was able to do pretty much everything myself as soon as epidural/spinal anaesthetic wore off.

Midwife care when I got home was brilliant both times. They kept an eye on my stitches/wound. Gave advice on feeding. Made sure my mental health was ok. Checked baby over for jaundice and kept an eye on umbilicus.

After 10 days I was discharged by midwives and passed to the health visitor team with a named health visitor I could contact with any issues. They did a routine check every few months.

It is major surgery and they will want to check that your are fine. You’ll also get a doctors appointment at six weeks post surgery to check the wound and sign you off to drive again. You’ll be given everything you need for wound care at home- anti coagulation injections, stockings, wound dressings. I got a wound check from my midwife when she came.

You can also expect a visit from the fucking annoying baby company that does the rounds in the post delivery wards. Tell them to get lost. They just want to sell you crap.

You bring supplies for your baby and for you though they will give you meals (at set meal times). You care for your own baby but they don't pester you all the night doing checks (I've had one in each country, in the USA they kept wanting to take my temperature during the night for some reason, it was fine every single time!) I was in and out in both countries as I had easy births, the main difference was no bill in the U.K. care otherwise was similar (not c section) with midwife led over enthusiastic nurse in USA aside. I did get my own room in the USA but I was out in 14 hours (next morning both times) so no big deal, take ear plugs or headphones if you're a light sleeper.

In fact the biggest difference between the countries other than the bill was I had a lovely view from my room in the USA... not exactly an essential . And I had to sign so many waiver documents in the USA, it was ridiculous, just to have a normal midwife led drug free delivery... just to not have a cannula was 2 forms, refusing an epidural was another... honestly you would think giving birth was a new thing in the USA.

I've had babies in both uk and USA. The NHS is far from perfect but the major service it provides which American medicine does not is community medicine.

By that I mean someone checking on you at home. (Just as, if needed, doctors still make house calls.) I found the lack of such things very worrying in the US.

I’ve given birth in both places and my experience in the UK was pretty traumatic compared to the US. I think a planned c-section will be fine for the actual
delivery (mine was traumatic mainly because off very poor care during a vaginal birth). For the postnatal
ward it helps to have low expectations so it’s good you are preparing for that! The staff have no time because they are overstretched and many are worn down by the system. They might not do things like hand the baby to you when you can’t move your legs because of the anaesthetic but you are still expected to look after the baby (this was what I experienced) so having a support person with you the whole time if possible would definitely be good. The support person ends up needing to do nursing jobs. My husband had to keep an eye on my catheter as they were too busy to notice that it was overfilled. Care is often better than what I experienced and you might be lucky but going in with low expectations for how much you will be cared for might actually make it less traumatic.

I think most women are desperate to go home - I suspect you will feel the same once you see a post natal ward!

I started asking to be discharged less than an hour after giving birth last time, I think I was still doing skin to skin when I first raised the subject 😅

But with a c section, you will be in for at least 1-2 days I would think

Certainly my standard hospital gift to anyone going to be an inpatient in the UK is a sleep mask and earplugs.

I don't remember it being that bright when I had ds but omg it was HOT. You can ask for a fan which I didn't think of.

I wouldn't expect home visits every couple of days as a given, it depends where you are. My trust you get a home visit on day 1 and then day 3, 5 and 10 appointments were at the hospital. Day 10 you're discharged to the HV normally.

Woahh a baby company! Thats very interesting!
I love how you have everything you need when being sent home and still have good care too.

you can request and pay for a private room, if available. I did, worth every penny and roughly the cost of a hotel room.

Ah I see what you mean.

Totally agree that it is always boiling. Pack a light nightie/ pj set. And bring lots to drink. They will give you food/ drinks but the nurses are quite often over stretched.

And they don routinely cut an obvious tongue tie here. You will have to insist if your baby has one and it is getting in the way of feeding.

That said: you and the baby will get excellent after care in the form of check ups and weigh ins.

I had a c section two weeks ago and was sent home 24 hours later. They said the baby had to stay in for at least that amount of time.

So you’re prepared, the aftercare is much more about checking the baby is ok before discharge such as are they feeding well and have passed all of the newborn checks that they carry out. I doubt they would have let me stay longer without reason. They tell you to take paracetamol, ibuprofen and give you some oral morphine for pain management (limited amount).

it can be tricky as you need to get in and out of bed to tend to the baby when they’re in their crib.

A midwife visited our home the next day but all other contact with midwives was done with us travelling to appointments for the baby to be weighed etc.

At my hospital there is no option for a private room. I was on a standard post natal ward. Each bay had their own light at night and in the morning they turn the main light on.

They have recently changed it so that partners can stay over night but there are no ‘comfort facilities’ for them so no bed or bedding just a chair.

I have had two c sections. I think the care was better this time but as someone else said, it’s a bare bones service

When it was hot , was it during the summer ? I'm due Jan 2024 so I hope it's just warm 😬

You may get a private room, it depends on the hospital and availability / the other mum's level of need. I didn't have a section but did have some ongoing health issues (unrelated to pregnancy/child birth) and I was put in a private room as I needed to stay about 3 nights.

Do take earplugs though - even in a private room, you can hear babies crying through the night so sleep is hard to come by.

Just paracetamol after a c section? They did this both times? I've always had something a bit stronger.
Do they give you an abdominal Binder(like a tummy waist trainer thing) to help with getting in and out of bed. ?
I had one in the USA every time given to me, it helped with me walking and getting out of bed.

If they don't I'll need to purchase one.

Nope, it was January 2004! Standard NHS procedure is to crank up the heating on October 1st, using a heating system that was state of the art in 1960, and leave it on until March 1st.

There are less ancient buildings around, some have actual air conditioning [gasp] though I'm not a great fan as I prefer an open window. But not surprisingly in a bay it's difficult to get the temperature right for everyone with windows. Again, a tour or a chat with the ward team may help.