American giving birth in UK 1st time

[AshleyCali2Uk]

Hi Moms! I'll be giving birth in the UK for the first time in Jan 2024. I have 3 children I've given birth to in California so I know what to expect in the USA, but here in the UK I'm nervous. I read things like they kick you out as soon as possible, don't provide diapers. And being in a ward makes me nervous because I'm use to having my own room and space to turn the light off and have some peace and quiet. Can you please give me some advice.
What to expect for a c section mom. What to bring in my hospital bag. What's it like in a ward? Anything. Thank you so much.

Midwife home visits are great. My midwife was lovely and really helpful.

They won't have nappies but will have bottles of formula if you need them.
You won't get your own room unless you or baby are ill - generallly side rooms are kept free for this.

The midwives will help you with baby as much as they can whilst you are not mobile but there will be the expectation that you will have someone with you to help out etc.

You might not find the experience as luxurious as previously but on the up side you also won't be paying through the nose for it.

@AshleyCali2Uk

You won't be cold. I had my DS in January and the ward was positively balmy. I barely needed a blanket at night.

@AshleyCali2Uk Don’t be upset at not going private. I have private medical insurance and looked into giving birth privately (with and without the insurance) and the private hospitals persuaded me not to!! Maternity units in NHS hospitals have an edge because they have a range of specialists. If your baby needed any sort of specialist support then it’s very likely the private unit would lack those specialists, and they are very unlikely to have any NICU etc so you could end up transferred for something as commonplace as jaundice. Maternity is probably the one area you are better going with the NHS for. You get a private room but that’s the only bonus.

Yes you will have to provide everything you need for the baby, and I was even asked to take my own paracetamol and ibuprofen! The hospital will provide medicines including these but I was happy to have my own and not have to wait. The midwives will help you pick up baby after your surgery.

I was in for 5 nights with my first and 6 with my second. Different hospitals, Leeds and East Lancs. I have A-blood and they are both AB+ so despite having anti D and no antibodies spotted they still needed help due to the rhesus factor - meaning days under the lights for jaundice. I was on a ward with my first but the curtains were drawn. It’s was still one of the hotter regions of hell and I was shocked at how inconsiderate the other patients were. The staff talk at day time level whatever time of day and night. Take ear plugs and an eye mask.

My second needed NICU so they moved me to a side room as she was very poorly and I needed ninth the privacy and space. The person who was originally in the side room had paid for it and was not happy to be turfed out so bear in mind this can happen and it’s hit and miss whether you get your money back too. If they need the private room for another patient they can and will move you out of it even if you have paid. My advice is ask nicely when you get to the ward and if they have a room available they might give it to you until they need it.

Take lots of snacks, cordials and ready mixed pop. Generally I’ve found hospital food to range from ok to nice, I’ve only had one meal that I thought was awful - and that was because I was served 2 tiny pieces of chicken, 3 peas and a tiny scoop of mash because I got to the ward late and missed dinner. They found me a sandwich. They will always find food for you if you are hungry, even if it’s just toast and biscuits.

Take formula. I intended to breastfeed both. First one my milk didn’t come in and my baby dehydrated badly and got very poorly very quickly. Second baby was so poorly with jaundice that I wasn’t allowed to breastfeed (as it slows bilirubin leaving the body). The hospital provided formula as it was for medical reasons but I had to insist! Leeds stored any left over milk for me, East Lancs policy is not to so I was binning most of a small bottle every feed. Again having some of my own meant I wasn’t waiting.

Take an iPad with some films on. It can get boring if you are in for longer than a night.

Most of all, remember you will only be in there for a short time and then you will be back home with all the comforts. Good luck!

Woah! Definitely adding this to things to ask list! Thank you so much for all your answers and suggestions and advice it has put me to ease !

It's ALWAYS hot. You'd never think there was a crisis in funding, if they'd turn the blinking heating off once in a blue moon they'd probably save a couple of billion.
Ahem. Anyway - back on topic.

The bounty (baby company) woman can be an arse, but the one where I was just appeared and gave me a bag of stuff that has special offer coupons and samples in. Take the bag, in my area the claim form for child benefit is in it, and some instructions on how to register the birth.

Be careful taking eye mask and ear plugs - your baby will be with you the whole time, and they'll be expecting you to do the care. So overnight you need to be able to hear when they wake up, they don't take them away to look after in a nursery. Obviously if you have a nap when your partner is there then that's different.

When I was in (before covid) partners had to leave 10 pm to 8am. You have a curtain round your bed, but ime they don't like you to pull it because they like to look in and see all 6/8 women from the door. They did let me pull it overnight.

The lights are turned off at night, but sometimes ver late (like midnight) and then THEY switch them on full first thing in the morning. You have a lamp over the bed, sometimes you can control it from the call bell thing, sometimes you have to stand up to reach the switch.

Go to the ante-natal classes your midwife will run. These are something like 6/8 group sessions once a week. They go into a lot of detail about what to expect and what to bring, how it all works.
They are not lamaze classes!

Formula - if you do take some it needs to be the ready made packs with teats.

NHS is not allowed to 'promote' formula, I think it's the actual law. So they do not provide it unless absolute medical need, (in which case you'd be on a different ward like NICU or transitional care) and they do not provide any facilities for making up powder or sterilising bottles on the ward you'll be on post birth.

Oh, you don't get to take the blanket home either!

What an experience! Cant believe you have to bring some paracetamol but I have added it to my list bc someone else said the same thing.
The inconsiderate chatter would drive me nuts. Definitely getting some ear plugs
So happy I came to MUMSNET !

Yes the standard pain relief has been paracetamol, ibuprofen and a limited amount of morphine each time. I don’t think there’s much else you can take if you’re planning on breastfeeding.

for my first c section the ward was very hot. This time it wasn’t! I was shocked!

I wasn’t given a binder or anything. Just a big dressing over the incision.

One thing I did do is take in syringes of expressed colostrum which they kept in the freezer for me. This really helped with establishing breastfeeding after the surgery.

I think on the postnatal ward they are so short staffed. They’d love to do more to support but realistically can’t. The team doing the surgery though were absolutely on it.

First section I was in 5 nights and second 10 nights due to post op complications.

Both times in a single room, en-suite due to section. (Single rooms were available for mums having vaginal births if they paid.)

I didn't mind the food.

Nappies, cotton wool supplied. Second baby I couldn't breastfeed for the first week so a double pump and all associated equipment.

Watching US tv I say a big difference is that baby stays with you and isn't taken away to a nursery.

I have definitely added a small desk fan bc I cannot sleep when it's too hot. I'll be miserable!
So happy I came here for advice. Thank you

Oh also we were offered no antenatal classes.

take a pillow with you. I did to help with breastfeeding but it turned out there was no pillow AT ALL!

We weren’t even given a baby blanket. He was wrapped in a towel!!!

Really depends what hospital you go to, obviously if you go private you’ll get private room etc but with the NHS being publicly funded it’s obviously more basic as people don’t want to have to pay sky high taxes/ health insurance costs. Their aim is a good outcome for you and baby and they try to give you as positive experience as their resources allow. You will usually be on a ward but all varies depending on hospital, I would explore the options local to to you and the private options available through their websites, forums etc

Yes the standard pain relief has been paracetamol, ibuprofen and a limited amount of morphine each time. I don’t think there’s much else you can take if you’re planning on breastfeeding

I breastfed and was on morphine and co-codamol and diclofenic (sorry about the spelling) in hospital and cocodamol and ibuprofen on discharge.

I haven't been offered any classes I'm 28w5days I figured maybe I don't get the classes until later ?
Do you ask your midwife or call the hospital

OP

Your midwife will be able to tell you the answers to a lot of these questions.

It is different in different areas. I seem to have had a great experience in comparison to some others.

They don't give out binders here so I would take your own

My advice would be try to learn and use the British terms for things to ease communication with those supporting you. Like nappies instead of diapers. Otherwise you come across as unwilling to be open to things being done differently here.

Yes in America I was given very strong pain meds and even prescribed so I took some home with me after every c section
I never even knew paracetamol or Tylenol was a thing. So I I'm shocked to hear this. And I breastfed all my children.

I was miserable I had DD at 10am, VB with spinal block, and went home the following morning.

I was lucky enough to have the end bed next to the window - normally I would open it - but the lady next to me had a baby that was in a hot crib thing trying to warm them up. So I really didn't feel I could.

I was also pissed off that I was trying to figure out how to breast feed, first baby, both boobs out, and they kept opening the sodding curtain wide. Saying they 'needed to see everyone' but this was during the day when the dads were on the ward.

I've heard some people take a big bulldog clip (don't know if they're called the same in America, one of these) and clip the curtain closed, it doesn't mean you get to keep it closed, but it does stop people yanking it open when you're undressed and you get some warning that it's going to be opened.

Don’t go private, the emergency care is nowhere near as good. Your own room etc is not worth the added risk. This is from someone whose husband is one of those who go running in an obstetric emergency to help, he’s an anaesthetist.

I’m pretty sure you can do tours around the hospital, via a local pregnancy group, ask your midwife. I know we did a few years ago.

Yes definitely ask, really depends on the hospital trust, to be honest it’s a nicer extra add on not an entitlement. If it means they are a staff member down and therefore unable to provide safe care then they are not going to be putting on a class. Their choice can be between sparing a midwife for hosting a class or mums and babies getting important care

Nappies yes! I usually completely forget. Or end up catching myself and saying diaper nappies as if it's one word 😂 or trash rubbish & ect my kids have caught on I'm still struggling also I'm home most of the time since I don't work since I am a SAHM. So I'm not use to speaking to anyone British besides my hubby and he never corrects me. Lol it's like speaking two languages 😊😊

I had a section relatively recently. Initially planned, but I went to labour a week earlier, so I just had to wait for a slot to be free (I didn’t have to wait long). Section was at 1900 and I was home by 1600 (so they don’t always keep you in for 24hrs after) the next day with a big plate of pate/unpasteurised cheeses and a glass of champagne!!