Please someone tell me it’s not THAT painful

[anmummy]

Just watched an episode of one born every minute and this woman was SCREAMING, and I mean screaming from the top of her lungs. She was kicking the bed, trying to roll off of it, and was clearly in agonising uncontrollable unbearable pain. I’m due in 1 week!!! This is not what I needed to see 🤣 I’m so scared. someone tell me their positive stories. This is my first time. I know everyone has a different experience. I’m just hoping I can do this! I’m unbelievably scared now.

That’s what I did - didn’t see the point of putting myself through any pain. The epidural meant I got some sleep and watched tv.

1 with epidural, 1 without (it failed). I’d choose the epidural, very calm and relaxed. Without it was painful, head was above the 100 centile so really hard work. I was induced by drip so possibly hurt more than other’s experiences. I swore a lot (partly in panic as the epidural failed), but it was short lived. I said “we could have another” within 30 minutes of birth. You’ll be fine.

It's extremely painful but definitely bearable.

Women wouldn't keep going back again and again and again if it was traumatisingly painful (before anyone pounces on me I'm talking about general labour pain not actual traumatic labours or birth situations).

Take all the drugs offered if you want/need to.

I can't even remember now how to describe the pain. It was very painful but I can't compare it to anything day to day. I think it helps that it is a necessary and controlled pain and not pain through an injury.

Op says she plans to go unmedicated. I did too, on the basis that a drug free birth would have no risk of side effects. But once it got a bit more than uncomfortable, I got to wondering how long I could ride the pain. And no one can tell you how just long it's going to be. So I said "sod the baby, sod the side effects, what about me?" And took the drugs. Which worked wonderfully first time, didn't seem to work at all with the second and I had to grit my teeth a bit harder. Anyway, we were all fine after the births, no side effects, no after effects.
Every woman is different, and every pregnancy is different too. So my advice is to be open minded and prepared for drugs and intervention. You may not need them, but they're there if you do.

Definitely keep an open mind on the pain relief. I was petrified of having an epidural because the thought of a needle in my spine was horrifying.

It was bloody brilliant. Love love loved it.

Induced with first, and quite fierce so for an epidural. But honestly the better birth was second, naturally, with no pain relief, much quicker and easier. Bit stingy, then all done!

Mine wouldn't have had a sibling were it not for elective csections.
It is different for everyone. I watched every One Born before mine and thought, well they cut a lot out of that!

If you don’t want drugs then I’d strongly advise a tens machine (I hired mine online). I had a hypnobirthing CD which I’d only listened to about three times (and fallen asleep during) but it really helped when it came to breathing through the contractions.

I had the tens machine on from when the contractions started and gradually turned it up. After I’d given birth I only realised I still had it on about half an hour later when I started feeling it again.

First one very little pain - a bit like when you have a gripy tummy. All done in a couple of hours, no stitches and wondering what all the fuss is about.
Second one very painful contractions but only 2 or 3. All done in 20 minutes and again no stitches.
It's like news programmes - you only ever hear the bad stories.

Oh and only gas and air for number 1, nothing for 2.
I second those pps saying stay upright and keep moving if you can. I knelt up, leaning on the back of the bed. Gravity definitely helps.

Adrenaline gets you through, and you find a strength and resilience you didn't know you had.

I was called the silent labourer by the midwives right up to the pushing stage which weirdly I quite liked. I did have some gas and air but no bad memories or horror stories.

I barely made a noise in my second Labour... had a calm, quiet, hypnobirth in the pool.., it was actually really enjoyable!

It hurt like hell when I pushed him out mind as I tore but that was brief!

I wanted to climb out of my own body. It was horrid. Pressing on sciatic nerve so leg hurting as much. And what the bastards in nct classes dont tell you are the post birth potential injuries. I felt massively betrayed and had an elcs for the next one as I was in control. Bonded much better instantly. With dd1. I couldn't look at her during skin to skin I was so shocked/upset/disgusted/angry with the whole thing. And it was a textbook water birth with gas and air. Natural births can fuck off!

I was barely in any pain at all after my emergency C section, just took the pain meds regularly and was fine.

Labour on the other hand I had constant agony after contractions started and they did not stop, the relief after the epidural was immense, I finally thought I could relax and enjoy birth, then DD was in distress and had to have a quite traumatic emergency C section (can’t really complain though as DD and I got through it safely in the end).

My sections were fantastic, no lasting effects after the first 2 weeks recovery. but I have friends and family who had vaginal births and still suffer decades later.

Thanks everyone! Not long now.. I’ll be sure to come back and update you all hopefully with a very positive birth story 🤣

with all of the anxiety my new fear is needing an emergency c-section and needing to be put to sleep, that would be my worst nightmare. I’ve heard of people needing an emergency c-section so no time for a spinal block so they’ve had no option but to be knocked out. I think I’d rather feel myself be cut open than the anxiety of being put to sleep. Please no!

It really depends.

DS1 - back to back - absolute fucking agony. Held out as long as I could on tens machine and then paracetamol/codeine/g&a as I wanted a water birth, and by the time I asked for an epidural I was 10cms dilated and it was too late. Ventouse/episiotomy with g&a and a local anaesthetic in the end. 0/10 would not recommend.

DS2 - facing the right way - got through it with my tens machine, 2 paracetamol and lots of fruit gums. No problem at all. Was waiting for it to get as bad as it was with DS1 (it never even came close) and left it so late we didn’t even make it to delivery at the hospital and he was born in triage 10 minutes after we arrived!

Ultimately every woman, every baby and therefore every childbirth experience is different. For some it’s as easy and painless as sneezing, for others it feels like their body is being turned inside out. It’s impossible for anyone to know ahead of time where they’ll be on that continuum. I’ve got DC3 in the oven and I’d quite like my water birth this time, but really it’s not up to me, baby’s gonna do what baby’s gonna do!

I was put to sleep to have my son.
It is important to note that they will usually only do that if the risk of survival of mum/baby outweighs the risk of general anaesthetic.
In my case my son's heart stopped beating and I will be forever grateful for the incredibly quick emcs. I got put to sleep so fast I barely knew what was happening, everything happened in such a blur as I got whisked along a corridor to theatre. I have no memories of the day he was born after that.
But, I do have a son who against all the odds survived that birth. And he has a mum who survived it too (pre eclampsia). He starts high school next week and without that crash section I wouldn't be seeing him do that.
So please don't see a section as a scary thing, it is an incredible thing that can make a huge difference if it needs to ❤️
I went on to choose an elective section for when I had my next child and it was truly beautiful! I could stay awake during that one and my DH allowed in theatre with me (he wasn't allowed in the first one due to the urgency of the situation).
I am sure your birth will go smoothly and you will have your child safely in your arms in no time. Sending you lots of luck 🍀 It will be ok whatever happens. Promise.

Sorry you felt like that💐

I didn’t scream . The epidural didn’t take all the pain away but helped . It’s not nice , but it’s do-able . Best of luck

C sections aren't always a walk in the park either. Number 1 was fine, although I haemorrhaged the next day and the wound got infected a few weeks later. But number 2 was horrible. My uterus wouldn't contract and stop bleeding. I was given a cocktail of drugs, so I was just vomiting into a bag. Luckily, the bleeding eventually stopped so I avoided a hysterectomy. I think they're depicted as a painfree failsafe but that's not necessarily the case even before recovery.

I’ve had three. They got progressively more painful. The first was a doddle he was my favourite birth. I had no pain relief other than paracetamol with any of them.

I gave birth on 1/8. Had a ‘what will be, will be’ mindset approaching, didn’t really feel too fearful. Had in my head that although it will be painful, the pain will end at some point and I’ll have a beautiful baby.

Then I went into Labour and that all went out the window. I was shouting my head off, kicking out, trying to push myself off the bed. Started with gas and air and pethedine - both did absolutely nothing for me.

Screamed for the epidural and my birth experience totally changed. Finally managed to calm myself down and actually listen to the midwives, thier advice and when to push. I did end up with a foreceps delivery but that was due to my uterus having no muscle on the bottom (where the placenta had been at one point) rather than anything to do with the epidural. I would totally recommend the epidural - I didn’t know how I was going to get through it without out it.

Please don't be scared of that, I was put to sleep both times and it was brilliant.

Having had a few general anaesthetics before (not for childbirth), I can assure you you're barely aware you're falling asleep until you are.

Pain is so incredibly subjective. One person's 10 might well be another's 4. And you will never know until you experience it. And then if you go on to experience it again, it might be completely different as a good part of it is dependent on position of baby.

For me, I've had 2 drip induced labours. One of which was back to back. Felt exactly the same with both. Once contractions got going, which took a few hours, I needed gas + air. As time went on needed stronger medications to cope. One labour I had diamorphine, the other an epidural. Ideally I didn't want either, but the only way I was going to get through the rest of labour (both happed at the 5cm mark, so knew I had some time to go) was having them so I did. No regrets. One ended a C-section. Again, not really what I wanted, but labour wasn't progressing, and tbh all I felt was relief when I was told it was needed.

I hope you get the labour of your dreams.