Please someone tell me it’s not THAT painful

[anmummy]

Just watched an episode of one born every minute and this woman was SCREAMING, and I mean screaming from the top of her lungs. She was kicking the bed, trying to roll off of it, and was clearly in agonising uncontrollable unbearable pain. I’m due in 1 week!!! This is not what I needed to see 🤣 I’m so scared. someone tell me their positive stories. This is my first time. I know everyone has a different experience. I’m just hoping I can do this! I’m unbelievably scared now.

i had an epidural as first was a 36 hour marathon and couldn’t bear it.

With second, I popped 2 paracetamol and did it on G&A. It hurt but wasn’t appallingly bad

fear makes pain worse so chill!

I am a VERY loud labourer! It hurts, but the shouting and moaning HELPS. Especially if you can go low and send that vibration through your body.

Gas and air is absolutely amazing if you ask me. Never needed anything else.

Everyone's different, but don't let a TV show scare you!

I was induced at 3.30pm on a Saturday afternoon. Contractions started very mildly around an hour or so later. As the evening progressed I laid in the bed watching big bang theory on my macbook. By midnight that night, the pains were more frequent that not even pain killers were helping! Contractions were like a very heavy dull period pain. I managed 4 hours with Contractions and didn't even dilate 1cm 🙈 so they gave me epidural and put me on a hormone drip to help me dialate. Epidural was great. I could see my Contractions peaking on the screen but couldn't feel a thing. however... the midwife advised that when I was close to pushing, to let the epidural ware off, so that I knew when to push. Worst thing I could have done. I spent 2 hours pushing with nothing going on but baby ended up moving in an awkward position to the point where it caused so much pain on my back side that I couldn't lie, sit or stand. But they gave me more epidural, and I instantly felt nothing again. I ended up having to have forceps and push. Didn't feel the pain but felt the pressure of them pulling her out and me pushing! And she was born at 22.50 on the sunday night. It was scary BUT, I would do it all over again to have my girl! And she's now 6 months old and I'm sat watching her asleep in bed on the monitor with a glass of wine in my hand! It's so so worth it OP. Good luck to you!

Honestly it wasn’t that painful at all, or at least the way I imagined before. I didn’t have any pain relief only gas and air which didn’t do nothing pain wise only made me slightly high.

I would say…. Like 6/10.

The urine catheter was waaaay more painful. I would better give birth to a whole football team than having a urine catheter!!

Oh yes - I basically moo-ed through both of mine!

The unit I gave birth at refused to have OBEM back as they said it was just creating drama unnecessarily. Totally not representative.

A good moo is the best form of pain relief!

It wasn't that painful for me, but I've got a high pain threshold. Dh said I yelped once during the whole process and that was because everything was moving too fast and ds was still in the sack.

Although on my notes my labor was less than 10 minutes. I had to ask to go in and told the midwife I was happy to be sent home as I was only 37 weeks and "it sounds like braxton hicks" I got there and from triage I was taken straight to delivery. Wasn't time for pain relief.
On one hand it was too fast to notice much pain, on the other, I wish I'd had more time to go through it all, but ds arrived safely if really fast 🤣

As others have said, every labour and birth is different. My first was back to back and I've never known pain like it. Induction, back to back and seemingly one endless contraction with no break. Epidural failed. All of which ended in an EMCS after 13 hours.

BUT - I went on to have another with no doubts at all. It's a snapshot in your life and you'll instantly forget how the pain felt once its over. Also, knowing the pain is there to create a positive outcome makes a big difference to being able to cope with it. Normal human association with pain is fear because pain is our body's way of telling us something is wrong, but if you can keep telling yourself nothing is wrong it does help!

It's not that bad. Honestly.

1st I had an epidural so didn't actually feel anything. The midwife had to tell me when to push as I couldn't feel ANYTHING.

The pain killers are pretty amazing!

Second- the epidural failed so I went through it with just gas and air. I hadn't planned to. The pain felt like period cramps that got worse and worse, but it felt like a familiar pain if that made sense. Like pain I'd been having monthly all my life just a bit more. Although not pleasant it never felt like something I couldn't handle.

I liked the gas and air, it helped to breathe through it, similar to when you do something like stub your toe. I think that's what the screaming is some women do- it's not that its unbearable screams just that it helps. Going back to the stubbing your toe analogy, it really does feel better when you swear loudly a few times out loud doesn't it? :)

Its painful and the most pain i had experienced yet it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be.

i managed to get through my first birth without anything until the pushing part where i had gas and air. It was fantastic

second i had gas and air earlier but still didnt need anything.

agree with posters who said do not labout on your back, the pain will be horrendous.

birthing ball for contractions is great and i pushed on my side.

just remember STAY OFF YOUR BACK 🤣

good luck, you’ll come away with a gorgeous baby and feeling like superwoman! I was Completely in awe of what my body was capable of

I had an epidural for other reasons with my first.
My second, my labour was quite fast. I wasn't screaming but I wasn't some silent humming lady that I'd wanted to be either. I got a bit savage at one point towards the end.

The pool made all the difference, I definitely recommend if you can for the end of labour more than the beginning. Your body will do it even when you don't want to, so keep yourself as chilled as possible 😊

Step away from one born every minute!!

I had a water birth at home with my first.

I wouldn’t say it hurt. Transition felt brutal, that’s the only way I can describe it. But pushing was fine. I had a second degree tear and was surprised as I didn’t feel any tearing at all.

It was an amazing experience.

I’m pregnant with my second now and looking forward to doing it all again!

It's not too bad really, about a 4/10 overall for me, though I did have number 2 on the floor of the bathroom in under 1/2 hour as didn't realise I was in labour and twins naturally with gas and air 😂 I also walked around on a broken ankle for 3 days doing 12.5 hour shifts, broke 4 ribs and didn't notice and dislocated my knee and just popped in right back in tho (not all in the same day 😂😂) so maybe there's something wrong with me!

I would say the lady you saw screaming on tv is exactly how I was.. unfortunately😔 I had very bad back pain. It had me going nuts. I still shudder now when I think about it, 2 years later. However... i want a second.. so it really can't be that bad lol I had a spinal in the end and pushed her out in 2 pushes. It was lovely. Good luck to you 🙂

I've had 4 and would honestly rather give birth than have a filling..

First birth was back to back and went on for ages. It wasn't "pain" as much as feeling like being in an airport and kept being told the flight was delayed. YOu just want more than anything to get it over with. The room was very badly laid out so I couldn't get comfortable and didn't know where to put myself. That was the worst bit. Hopefully things are more enlightened now.

I think it was more like extreme exertion than pain. Like climbing a high stairway slightly faster than you'd like, uncomfortable or achey, rather than actual sharp or nasty pain. The actual pushing feels more like hard exercise tand because you know its the last lap - you are more distracted by thinking this is nearly over.

I think when you see people screaming, it's not so much because of the pain but because of the effort, and yelling (and swearing, sorry) or thrashing around really helps, at least that's how I saw it. Imagine you had a really big weight to lift and yelling helped you lift it. Or Tennis players yelling as they serve a very fast ball.

It does feel uncomfortable, and is occasionally painful, ( perhaps like back pain) but it is more that there are highs and lows of that. It's never unendurable and
There are breaks in between where you can rest a bit.
By the time it is approaching action stations you are not really thinking about "the pain" because its suddenly become more and more "busy" and you just want to get it all over with and are kind of distracted by that. My midwifes were very good helping with the breathing and that really really helps and also helps you feel more in control

I had gas and air which made no difference and asked for epi in the end mainly because I was exhausted but was told it's too late for that now as he was on his way.

Second births were much much shorter and were so busy.. No pain relief no gas and air, didn't really have time to think about it.

I do remember thinking at one point. If only I could have a nice glass of wine, I'd feel so much better - but alas that is not allowed.

Every birth is different. Don't let people frighten you. Take advice from the medical professionals around you and try to do all the breathing and stretches. Being relaxed makes everything easier. It is also absolutely true that once baby is out... "pain" is over and that's all you think about. Best of luck!

I have genuinely had worse migraines, even when talking a shit tonne of medication for them.

Oh yes it is!!

I'm not a screamer - I go very silent when in pain, including when I went into labour with DC1.

The woman you saw may be a screamer to regardless of how painful it was she reacts to pain like that.

Everyone is different as is every birth. You'll be fine - don't stress and move about as much as you can.

Good luck

Get an epidural. That’s the best advice I can give to anyone. You don’t get a medal for being in pain and feeling absolutely exhausted for days afterwards. I have given birth with and without and having an epidural made all the difference to my second birth experience and recovery.

Watch the Yorkshire Midwives on Call on BBC instead.

It's so lovely, I cried at every birth 😂

I do remember thinking at one point. If only I could have a nice glass of wine, I'd feel so much better - but alas that is not allowed

I have heard of people having a glass during a home birth!

It was agony for me, the worst pain I have experienced, but saying that I think my tolerance for pain is zilch. I find just moving about painful and sometimes even clothes!

The one thing I will say though, is I was so relieved that the baby was out, that they were instantly my favourite person. There was a Male obstetrician, in France who caused a big stir at the time by arguing pain during childbirth helped the bonding process. Everyone was living with him, but I recall thinking he had a point! 😂

It hurts