1st baby, petrified! C section or natural?

[bethandgus]

Hi all!

I've done a lot of reading here and online about C sections and vaginal births.

My mum had a terrible birth with my older brother, which resulted in a prolapse and other incontinence issues.
My friends/other family members who gave birth vaginally generally had issues during and almost all afterwards.
This is making me lean towards a c section, but the midwives told me to have a really good think about it and then decide.

Would you change how you gave birth? Would you elect for a C section or just go with the flow?

Thanks in advance!

I suppose it depends on how worried you are as the more chilled you are means that generally the birth goes more smoothly and is less painful. Obviously there will be exceptions.

Have you discussed fully the pros and cons with your MW?

I had mine vaginally and most of my DFs had C-Sections. I'd say that I was up and around much earlier and found BFing much easier but you don't get a medal for a natural birth.

If you're finding that the thought of birth is overwhelming and you know the risks of having a C-Section and have discussed them fully with your MW, then go for it

I only have experience of normal birth, but I have no regrets. The longer term “damages” I have from my children are down to pregnancy and not birth. (PGP/stretchmarks/crying more easily)

I don’t think I could have psychologically managed an interfered-with birth and a c-section would guarantee many elements I was not happy with, immobilisation, intimate examinations and questions, medications, nudity, scarring etc.

Have you spoken to many people in person with positive stories of any kind of birth, as it seems they have been negative in your OP?

I surprised myself by actually enjoying giving birth, in the end.

Day I found I could have a c-section was the best day of my life. I was petrified of vaginal birth - so much so I had nightmares and panic attacks - so a section lifted a load of worry off my mind. Even "positive" birth stories always sounded horrible to me. I had an embarrassingly easy recovery, have a barely visible scar, no overhang etc.

I'm pregnant with #2 now and have told my consultant that the word VBAC is never to be mentioned in my presence.

I've had 2 vaginal births, both babies under 7lb if that makes a difference. I wouldn't change how I birthed, I enjoyed my labours and I had no complications and no injuries. With my second I went home from labour ward.

Not having to stay on postnatal ward was a major factor in me wanting a vaginal birth. I was getting really anxious about having to stay on postnatal ward so I was adamant I wanted to go home straight from labour ward.

I had a natural birth with my first... unfortunately didn't have the easiest. I ended up needing intervention with forceps and a 3c tear. No serve issues afterwards though.

I am now pregnant with my second and am debating whether to go natural again or have a c-section.

It goes without saying that every birth is so different, it could go smoothly or it could be a little difficult. Just go with what your gut is telling you & what you think you will feel more comfortable with. regardless of what way you go you will have a beautiful little baby and will forget about everything else x

I would totally recommend a section. I had 2 sections and both were fine. Recovery is a bit longer yea but you can still manage just need to be careful when moving around in bed etc.

So many ppl tried to scare me into having a section saying irs much longer recovery so I pushed tor a bit with my first but it ended up in a section anyway. Then because it went so well I planned the section.

I cant recommend a section enough - go tor it

I had a planned section and have absolutely no regrets. I had medical issues that made the section slightly safer but my consultant would have supported me to have a vaginal delivery if I’d wanted to. I did not want to, I didn’t want to risk any (potentially permanent) damage to my nether regions or an increased risk of prolapse/incontinence afterwards, and I was glad to have the option of a section. It’s just a personal judgement call using the readily available statistics whether you are more comfortable with the risks of a c section or the risks of a vaginal delivery.

The actual procedure of the section was a good experience. I was a bit panicky before the spinal because I have a thing about backs and needles but it was much better than I was expecting. Radio was playing, baby was by chance born to a song I really like and was calmly placed on my chest for a cuddle whilst I was sewn up. I remember crying happy tears and saying “wow you are so cute” - to which my consultant replied “why thank you” and made me laugh. Altogether a fun, magical experience.

The recovery WAS tough. Post op pain was bad and there weren’t enough staff on the postnatal ward to bring me pain relief on time so I waited well over an hour in agony on two occasions. Not really a fault of a c section as I am sure many mothers post vaginal delivery are in pain and at the mercy of understaffed units. It took 7 weeks to stop feeling pain and another couple til no more discomfort. On the other hand I had friends recovering from sections within 3-4 weeks so that’s not a universal experience. The painful recovery did not make me regret the section even for a second as I knew that for me the alternative would have been worse. 5 months post partum I would say I am back to normal, scar is still a little numb and itchy sometimes but really no big deal. In fact I love my scar, it reminds me of the day he was born and I smile whenever I see it.

Good luck, I would say you can’t really make the “wrong” decision as there are risks with both options but read everything you can, look at statistics and you will find you have a gut feeling which one is best for you.

If you are using the NHS and want an elective c section with your first child be fully prepared to have to absolutely have to fight tooth and nail to get it. I had a prolapse with my first plus a terrifying experience that I am still having counselling for 10 years later so requested a section for dc2. No one was even willing to discuss it with me until 36 weeks despite having gone into spontaneous labour with dc1 and 35w5d. Thankfully my ILs offered to pay for me to go private and it was such a weight lifted.

Be ready to present your case, explain why you’re entitled to one and why you feel you absolutely need one.

@GCSquirrel this makes me so very sad and angry. I’m so sorry you went through that.
I think the culture in the nhs about this thankfully is slowly changing - particularly since the Ockenden report - although it is very much a ‘postcode lottery’ what attitudes you encounter as some trusts are still very anti maternal request sections. It’s absolutely bonkers and as a medic myself makes me incredibly cross that women are often treated like children who cannot make our own informed decisions. But hopefully this is improving.

would advise anyone who does encounter unhelpful attitudes or resistance/refusal of their request for a section to have the NICE guidance to hand which clearly states if after weighing all the evidence a vaginal birth is unacceptable to you then a c section should be offered, and if an obstetrician refuses to do it they must refer to another consultant. There are trusts out there who will help you have the birth you want, it just makes me mad that it’s still
not ALL trusts.

I’ve had both. DC1 was natural and DC2 was elective c-section.

It was fair to say I was petrified of giving birth first time around. I did hypnobirthing which really helped and also got a doula who was another birth partner and also provided some practical and emotional support before and after (DH was amazing but it was his first experience of all of this too so I really appreciated having the support of another woman). It amazed me how well I coped when I took back a bit of control. I laboured for a long time in the birth pool and had some assistance at the end with ventouse. I felt a huge sense of pride when DC1 was born that I’d been able to do it. It was very empowering.

For DC2 I was advised to have a c-section due to their size and potential complications. I certainly hadn’t planned for it and it took me a while to get my head around it. Second time around was way more clinical that first time. Mainly talking to doctors and surgeons, lots of blood tests, needles etc. I was very nervous beforehand but ultimately it was fine and again, I was proud of myself for different reasons.

I would say it’s a very personal decision. You must do what you feel is right and I think we always have an instinct for what we really want to do, or at least aim for. Recovery comes with challenges with both. I would say it also depends what kind of setting you want to give birth in. For DC1 I had dimmed lights, music, birth pool, midwives, DH and doula. Second time it was bright lights, clinical setting, more monitoring of my vitals. Neither setting is better or worse but it’s worth having a thin which environment you’d feel most comfortable in.

Such a tricky one OP because there's no guarantees!
My first ended in an EMCS and my recovery was very hard. Had a VBAC second time round which included an episiotomy in the end and even with the episiotomy the recovery for me was so so much better. I have heard that it's difficult to compare an emergency section with a planned one though and have generally heard much better recovery stories from the planned ones!
It would have been difficult for me not to lift my toddler/generally keep him off of me when I came home had I ended up with a section second time so may be worth considering how you'd feel about this in future too.
Hope all goes well! X

I personally know enough stories from close friends and family members of vaginal birth with devastating and life changing consequences for both mother and/or their child (including 4th degree tears and subsequent fecal incontinence and severe brain injury for baby), that for me my only option was a ELCS. Once I made this choice, the midwives and consultants spent significant time trying to counsel me out of this decision. With much determination I stood my ground.

It is fairly unusual for a first birth to be ELCS, but I had two fabulous ELCSs with optimal health outcomes post birth for both me and my 2 DC.

There isn’t a day I don’t regret it.

You need to do what is right for you. But if you want a ELCS, know that is ok too, and press ahead.

C section every single time. There is nothing that makes me think a vaginal birth is appealing in any way.

I’ve had 3 csections and no “intimate examinations” surely a vaginal birth is much more “intimate” they literally have to put their fingers up your vagina to check how dilated you are?? Nudity for a C-section? When?

I had a normal delivery first and an emergency section for the second. If l had my time again l would have had them both by Section. The first one l was induced for days , they tried the Ventouse and forceps . l had to go on an Oxytocin drip and the pain was excruciating , l felt like they were sawing my legs off at my groin. The second delivery was so much better pain wise .

Section! I was out 15hrs after the section with pretty much full movement. Was the best experience of my life, so magical baby fed straight away and had skin to skin for as long as I wanted. We were out having a pub lunch by day 5! Would definitely do it again. I can barely see my scar and it’s not even been 2yrs. Highly recommend.

I also echo @GCSquirrel‘s view that ‘If you are using the NHS and want an elective c section with your first child be fully prepared to have to absolutely have to fight tooth and nail to get it.’

The NHS staff might in the early months of pregnancy during appointments give an appearance that both vaginal birth and ELCS are possible ‘choices’; which you are free to make. But they don’t really mean it. They expect / demand for first births to ‘see how you go’ - with ELCS only being considered for second births, typically after disasters or near misses have happened with first births

You will have to fight tooth and nail to get it. and I would ignore any shitty attitudes and push backs you get if you make the ELCS decision for a first birth.

On the one hand the representatives of midwives / doctors etc in talks with government are calling out there is a crisis of inadequate care and numbers of nurses / doctors for women in labour. But in the private room of the hospital with just you and midwife / consultant, they will tell you another story which is all is fine and you will be looked after the whole way. Which isn’t always the case and why there are countless numbers of women and children with devastating injuries. It makes me so damn cross.

Indeed! I wasn’t nude at all (more clothes that I would have done with a vaginal north - not that I would have been bothered). I only had a physical vaginal examination as I went into labour before the planned section and they wanted to see how far gone - that’s the bit that hurt the most! Wouldn’t have needed that if I hadn’t been in labour. Are you sure you typed that the right way round?

OP much depends on how likely or unlikely you are to have problems.

A c-section will cause a certain amount of pain, and disability after the birth, let’s call that 123. A vaginal birth will cause a certain amount of pain and damage, let’s call that abc. But is 123 better or worse than abc? The answer to that depends on you.

If you are a fit, healthy and tall 20 year old with wide hips carrying a small baby, then of course vaginal birth is better for you than a c-section. If however you’re an overweight unfit 43 year old with narrow hips carrying a big baby then you should choose a c-section.

Personality is also relevant. For vaginal birth to go fast and well, you need to
relax. Are you someone who is more relaxed when you’re in control? Then maybe pick vaginal birth. Or do you feel more happy and relaxed when someone else is in charge? Then c-section may be better for you.

Two vagina births. I think you're up and about a lot quicker after them than c sections. I actually enjoyed my second birth!

I had two EMCS and wish I’d opted for an elective c section for DS2 (after a long painful back to back labour before an EMCS with DC1) - but that nagging guilt about doing it “naturally” got the better of me.

If you’ve researched all your options and think an elective c section is what’s best for you then absolutely do it. It’s your choice.

Good luck x

Just from a POV from someone who has had 2 x planned c-sections. I am a healthy person with no "markers" that might make c-sections more risky i.e. higher BMI etc...

The major advantages for me were:

1. I really liked knowing when I was going to have the children in terms of preparation.
2. My recovery was great. Up and about the same day as the C-section and didn't have much pain to deal with.
3. I was only in hospital for 24 hours.

2 years on from my youngest's birth and I've had no problems.

Things to consider:

1. It's strange knowing when you are going to have a major operation and there's a certain amount of nervous anticipation beforehand.
2. No driving for 6 weeks. Depending on where you live that could be a bit of a pain (was fine for me though).

General advice if you do go down the C-section route...clean the incision site religiously & don't lift anything even if you feel totally fine.

Good luck with your decision

Hi OP,

I would dive in to birth education like you are studying for an exam and go for the best possible vaginal delivery. You can influence your birth in so many ways.

When the body is relaxed and you are confident and no one is poking and prodding you, you will most likely have a an uncomplicated labour and birth.

I had my first baby at home, in a pool, I had no vaginal examinations and a very smooth and quick labour. I had a third degree tear, but it healed quickly and wasn't a bother - I was just annoyed I had to go to hospital.

Having major surgery to avoid a tear is a bit of a false economy.

However, choice is what matters most and only you can decide. But you should decide after you've done lots of research in to birth!

Do a hypnobirthing course before you decide, read a few books, and then you'll know what you want.

You can use hypnobirthing techniques if you decide to have a C-section too.

I promise I'm not a mad hippie type, but I do feel passionately about women having good birth experiences - however they decide to deliver.----

I had two lovely vaginal births with no negative effects after.

Personally I wouldn't have a C Section unless medically required.

Birth is an unpredictable and messy business however you do it.

I don’t understand this bit sorry;
Having major surgery to avoid a tear is a bit of a false economy.

I agree with you re the hypnobirthing. I’ve used the techniques with my 3 births and they’ve all been incredibly calm experiences. Dimmed lighting above me, I took my own music in, used my techniques to make sure I was really calm and relaxed. They were all absolutely amazing, can’t wait to do it all again!