Feeling a bit sad I never got to experience a natural birth

[Mariellama]

Just that really. I have two gorgeous, healthy children that I'm incredibly grateful for. My friend just gave birth, she had a tricky labour after an induction but had a natural delivery. I'm so happy for her and excited that she's a new mum, at the same time I feel a hint of jealousy that I never had that experience.

With my first I had an induction due to baby's estimated size, really long and painful labour and finally an emcs because her head was in the wrong position.

Second labour, we had a planned c section booked due to previous birth and sorting out childcare for DD but I ended up going into labour naturally. I was super excited to try for a normal birth and labour progressed well but when I was trying to push baby just didn't budge. In my notes it said malpresentation, but I was also in horrendous pain at the time and when I was given the choice of c section or waiting to try pushing again I just couldn't bare the pain so chose the section.

We always said 2 dc and I bled a lot in my second emcs so we don't want more children. Just feeling a little bit sad atm that I've missed out on a vaginal delivery in spite of going through full labour pains. I'll get over it, but anyone else ever felt the same way?

It's overrated, honestly.

Being inducted isn't a natural delivery.

Says someone who was induced.

However with the complications I know some others who have had vaginal births have had without the induction, I'm glad I was induced.

I'd gladly swap with you.

I had two sections for medical reasons and have no regrets at all. Despite my husband's ex's catty remark that they weren't 'real' births, it felt very real to me.

It's not all its cracked up to be. I know people who have really bad natural births, tears requiring surgery after birth meaning they misses out on those first couple hours with baby.

You have healthy 2 healthy baba, the route they came out is completely irrelevant

As someone who suffered horrendous birth injuries, can we swap please?!

Vaginal births generally aren't much fun.

Honest to god, the actual ‘pushing out of vagina’ bit is spectacularly overrated. You did go into labour spontaneously both times, so you had absolutely all of the ‘experience’ stuff really, bar the ring of fire, many people’s heads and hands up your bits, episiotomies/tearing and subsequent stitches and all that lovely stuff.

When I think of my DC’s births, I don’t really romanticise the pushing bit, I promise. In fact, I try not to think about that!

No I don’t feel like I’ve missed out on anything at all.
The best clinical decision was made at the time to ensure me & my baby were safe.
for me, that’s the be all end all.
I don’t even give it a thought really.

I know what you mean but also, I don't know why women are conditioned into believing we should suffer through natural childbirth.

I feel sad I had to endure it (vaginal delivery) with DD1 as I had to have a section with DD2 and it was far preferable. By a long shot.

I've tried my best to forget it OP, honestly you didn't miss much.

I had a “natural” second birth because no-one believed I was in established labour until the baby was literally crowning. I had no pain relief and ended up ripping my scars (from my first birth) open again.

You've done labour, so you've done most of it. The actual baby coming out bit isn't exactly exciting (except you get the baby at the end and it's done so you can rest). It's definitely a means to an end (baby arriving) over an experience I'd choose to do...

I know what you mean. I was unconscious for mine. Can't help feeling a bit of a fraud. 😕

But maybe I would still be having nightmares if I had been through it awake. Who knows

My experience sounds similar. I had an emcs under general anaesthetic with my first due to her not coming down and two failed attempts at forceps. Was told my pelvic arch was too narrow and baby may never have come out vaginally. That was 5 months ago. I don't think I could go through the anxiety of my baby not coming out again/getting stuck and it was also v traumatic for me and my husband so think IF (big if) we have a 2nd it would be elective c section. I am sure that is what we would be advised.

I feel similar... always watched programmes like One Born and thought "that will be me one day" and feel sad I probably won't experience it.

However, at 8cm dilated on gas and air and in a lot of pain and with no energy remaining I also remember being terrified at the thought of feeling this baby coming out at which point I requested an epidural (and at the time I thought that was the best decision I ever made)

So, all being said, I'm inclined to agree with previous commenter that vaginal delivery is overrated. I think it sounds better on paper than in reality and most friends I know did not have positive experiences. You could have a magical homebirth or you could have it turn out quite traumatic and it's a roll of the dice I think.

I'm trying to just be grateful that caesareans exist because in past times my birth may have ended tragically and my beautiful girl or me may not even be here. Enjoy your babies and know that however you have given birth doesn't define you or your value as a woman/mother ❤️ it sounds like you went through hell and back!

Nothing to envy! You delivered in the best way for you and your babies.

It’s vaginal birth not natural.

I wonder if it is a hormonal thing or a feeling of completeness that the body/ mind brings about. Anyway you haven't missed out it's not great! You have 2 healthy dc's

Don't. There's way better stuff to regret than not crapping a watermelon.

I had two utterly sensational vaginal births. The experience was better than a great orgasm.

However after each I suffered totally crippling postnatal depression which took years to recover from. The experience of this almost drove our family apart. It was all years ago now and I remember the lingering depression far more than the few hours of birth.

My point: don't wish for what you didn't have. Enjoy what you've got. A vaginal birth is just one small part of the process of parenting.

I had 2 CS that I had known would be the case for a long time due to medical issues, don't regret it at all given what I heard of tears, bleeding etc. At the end of the day it's not a competition to have the most 'natural' birth and thank God there are these procedures that prevent mums and babies from dying.

Also, we've carried babies in our wombs for 9 months (or best part of) and birth is just the last hours/day or that ultimately, we've the vast majority of it unassisted!

How old are your children? Isn’t how you gave birth to them only a hot topic around 2 weeks post birth?

Oh god don’t regret not having a vaginal birth!! I’ve heard enough horror stories to of been put off risking having my vagina torn apart. I’ve had 4 elective csection, all amazing births which I have loved and I have no lasting injuries from; unlike my sister who will spend the rest of her life on laxatives after tearing so badly during a vaginal birth. Thank your lucky stars!

I had a c section and felt the same but now I'm pleased she got out. Had placenta previa stage 4 so no alternative.