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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Unable to see my baby in NICU due to covid restrictions

317 replies

francesca26 · 03/01/2022 06:11

I feel so alone I needed to post this to see if anyone else has been or is in a similar situation.

I have been in hospital since 30/12 for a scheduled induction. The process didn't start until 31/12 due to how busy they were and I was on a ward with several other women. One of these women tested positive for covid on 31/12 just as my contractions started and I was informed that I had been 'exposed'. I didn't think too much of it at this point and was just focusing on birthing my baby.

At 17.57pm on 01/01/22 my son was born at 38+4 . He had breathing difficulties and was 'grunty' so was taken straight to NICU, I had a brief cuddle but hardly any skin to skin.

The NICU doctor then informed me that because I had been 'exposed' that I would not be able to visit my son in NICU at all, even though I was testing negative. 💔

It has now been over 24hrs since I gave birth and I have had no contact with my baby. I have been put in a segregated room on the post natal ward. I'm not allowed to leave and can't have any visitors.

My heart is honestly breaking. I also have a 2 year old at home who I haven't seen for 4 days now.

Baby is improving and although he is still on oxygen, the levels are much better than they were. However I've not got any time frame on when they think he will be able to be moved up to post natal and be with me.

I feel like this is really affecting my mental health. I know my baby is in the best place but I am being treated like I have covid, even though I am negative and double jabbed.

I just don't know what to do with myself. I'm stuck in this room, without either of my children and I can't leave unless I discharge myself which they have advised me not to do incase baby is able to move up at some point.

😢💔

OP posts:
firstimemamma · 03/01/2022 08:28

How utterly pointless and heart-wrenching. I'd be devastated and furious in your shoes.

iguanadonna · 03/01/2022 08:29

If the hospital thought that mothers were important to babies, they would not hold them pre-birth in situations where they risked Covid exposure, then giving them the opportunity to separate them from their newborns for ten days. It was infection-control disregard and incompetence which led to the woman's exposure in the first place.

This has been going on for two years now. As PPs have pointed out, two years ago the circumstances seemed exceptional. Now they are not.

Any attempt to portray the infection control team at this hospital as competent or reasonable is absurd.

MarshmallowFondant · 03/01/2022 08:29

@CloseYourEyesAndSee

It's more harmful for baby to be separated from you than the potential exposure to covid given you're testing negative!!
This with bells on. KIck up a massive fuss and if you're not feeling up to doing that, get someone else to do it for you.

This is absolutely appalling.

LuchiMangsho · 03/01/2022 08:31

It’s not just HER baby’s exposure. It is also that of all the other babies. A side room is not a side room. OP will still need the NICU toilet. Need to wash hands in the communal area. Need to pump.

It’s heartbreaking but if I was there with my 900 gram baby on a ventilator and you told me you had allowed access to another potentially infectious parent whose baby would be there for a few days at most before going home (while there was no end for me in sight and no guarantee my baby would live), I would be angry.

Pugroll · 03/01/2022 08:32

@iguanadonna

If the hospital thought that mothers were important to babies, they would not hold them pre-birth in situations where they risked Covid exposure, then giving them the opportunity to separate them from their newborns for ten days. It was infection-control disregard and incompetence which led to the woman's exposure in the first place.

This has been going on for two years now. As PPs have pointed out, two years ago the circumstances seemed exceptional. Now they are not.

Any attempt to portray the infection control team at this hospital as competent or reasonable is absurd.

That's a really good point actually, the exposure was in the hospital, where was the duty of care then?
Unsure33 · 03/01/2022 08:33

I do feel for you but I had a prem baby ( 28 weeks) and I was ill myself afterwards and had very little contact for the first few weeks. Honestly it will be ok . You would never forgive yourself if you took covid into a ward of very vunerable babies and staff .

If you are still negative in a couple of days you will be reunited.

I never held my baby for weeks and we bonded fine.

Wakemein2023 · 03/01/2022 08:36

I feel awful for the OP, this is tragic and I can't imagine how desperate this must feel.

NHS staff can work if they are contacts but local procedures are still in place. I can't imagine a NICU would allow potentially infectious staff in unless they were dangerously understaffed and couldn't access agency/locum.

As the baby's side room is very unlikely to have a toilet, if they isolated together OP would need to cross into the ward to use the loo and would put the most vulnerable at real risk of catching covid. How would it feel if your seriously ill newborn caught covid because the hospital knowingly allowed them to be put at risk?

Preemiemummy2 · 03/01/2022 08:36

Hi OP I’ve had a baby in NICU during Covid and the rules were similar to what you describe. The hospital were very strict (and rightly so in my view). There were several babies who could not see mum or dad for anything up to 10 days where covid was a real risk. Once we were in SCBU rather than NICU it was then possible to isolate in a separate room with my DS when needed during his 2 month stay. My heart goes out to you as it really is a scary time. Fingers crossed your little one is well enough soon to either move to SCBU or to join you in your room. Are you at least able to pump milk to feed the baby? It’s not great but it might help you feel like you are able to do something.

Wakemein2023 · 03/01/2022 08:38

OP - can you ask to speak to the matron? That's going to get a quicker result than PALS/litigation/writing to MPs

CovidCorvid · 03/01/2022 08:40

Ime PALS can be very quick if you ring them. I’ve had them sort stuff out the same day for me.

bluetongue · 03/01/2022 08:45

Did you say you can’t see your baby for 10 days? I do understand being careful but this seems too long. It should be 7 days at the most.

Lifeispassingby · 03/01/2022 08:46

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]**@Neurodiversitydoctor

I’m so glad you’re an ex nicu doctor, you sounds soulless[/quote]
That’s harsh and unnecessary. @Neurodiversitydoctor has been explaining protocol and why the OP is in this situation and has also offered sympathy to the OP tbf

Spotthedog91 · 03/01/2022 08:47

OP your post is heartbreaking. How are they feeding your baby??

Like a poster up thread said... If a nurse has a positive family member at home, was double jabbed and had a negative lft then they would be allowed to go to work. You should 100% be allowed to isolate with your baby.

I'd be making a complaint xx

EarringsandLipstick · 03/01/2022 08:47

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@Neurodiversitydoctor

I’m so glad you’re an ex nicu doctor, you sounds soulless[/quote]
That's a horrible comment to make & k disagree entirely.

Neurodiversity has shown lots of compassion to OP but has used her hospital and medical experience to explain the reasoning.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 03/01/2022 08:47

OP - can you ask to speak to the matron? That's going to get a quicker result than PALS/litigation/writing to MPs

And arguably more proportionate. Also I doubt PALs is operating on a bank holiday.

Wakemein2023 · 03/01/2022 08:50

If the hospital thought that mothers were important to babies, they would not hold them pre-birth in situations where they risked Covid exposure, then giving them the opportunity to separate them from their newborns for ten days. It was infection-control disregard and incompetence which led to the woman's exposure in the first place.

Without a ward of en-suites, the only way to manage covid transmission is to admit to a 'hot' area for testing before moving to a 'cold' area. OP was probably in a hot bay.

Due to incubation a person could test negative on day 1 and infect others on day 2. It's tricky to manage any infection in hospital, but covid is a nightmare. Unfortunately given that hospitals haven't been torn down and re-built having two years experience hasn't helped a great deal.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 03/01/2022 08:51

I did get angry when people started talking about suing the trust tbf. We all make mistakes but "kicking off" and getting litiginous(sp) rarely solves anything IME and I think unhelpful to OP.

Lifeispassingby · 03/01/2022 08:55

@Neurodiversitydoctor

I did get angry when people started talking about suing the trust tbf. We all make mistakes but "kicking off" and getting litiginous(sp) rarely solves anything IME and I think unhelpful to OP.
I don’t blame you and as you say those who clapped on their doorsteps are now turning and forgetting that the NHS are there to help in extremely difficult circumstances
MrMrsJones · 03/01/2022 08:56

Tell them you either go to your baby or your baby comes to you, right now this minute or your kicking up a stink.

Ask to see the manager, ring the papers, no-one would keep me away from my baby

Frazzled2207 · 03/01/2022 08:57

Op can you get your partner to fight your corner and badger the NICU docs about this.
With the best will in the world the midwives on your ward are unlikely to be able to influence.
I can understand precautions but if you’re negative lft you are unlikely to be infectious and after 5 days probably don’t have it at all.
Covid is everywhere and any one of the staff could easily be infected via their partner

falalalalalalablahblah · 03/01/2022 08:57

@Thingstodotoday the PP already admitted to being wrong about attachment. So.....

Policyschmolicy · 03/01/2022 08:59

People like to bandy the concept of ‘suing the NHS’ around merrily. Reality is that you can only sue for material damages, so OP is unlikely to be able to prove that this situation causes anything that will mean she is significantly out of pocket etc (though there are circumstances beyond this that could happen).

On the other hand, if a family have a neonate who dies from covid that is brought into the ward, or whose prognosis is dramatically changed because of it, that’s a potential lawsuit.

So the litigious route is a red herring.

Notagardener · 03/01/2022 08:59

Just checked and as per 31-12-21 household contact of hospital staff still need to stay at home unless "exception".

"the exposure was in the hospital, where was the duty of care then?" Well, it happens on our ward where every patient is PCR tested before admission maybe this shows how even PCR testing can give false neg

Katieandthekids · 03/01/2022 09:00

@asnippersdream

That is disgraceful. I'm all for following Covid restrictions but keeping a mother away from a newborn baby is diabolical. Please ask again for their reasoning.
Yes I agree with this. They should test you daily and let you be together
Shehasadiamondinthesky · 03/01/2022 09:01

I'm so sorry OP you must be desperate to see your sweet baby. I hope you do very soon. Id be climbing the walls. Its a horrible time to be living in damn covid. Have a virtual hug xxxx

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