Unable to see my baby in NICU due to covid restrictions

[francesca26]

I feel so alone I needed to post this to see if anyone else has been or is in a similar situation.

I have been in hospital since 30/12 for a scheduled induction. The process didn't start until 31/12 due to how busy they were and I was on a ward with several other women. One of these women tested positive for covid on 31/12 just as my contractions started and I was informed that I had been 'exposed'. I didn't think too much of it at this point and was just focusing on birthing my baby.

At 17.57pm on 01/01/22 my son was born at 38+4 . He had breathing difficulties and was 'grunty' so was taken straight to NICU, I had a brief cuddle but hardly any skin to skin.

The NICU doctor then informed me that because I had been 'exposed' that I would not be able to visit my son in NICU at all, even though I was testing negative. 💔

It has now been over 24hrs since I gave birth and I have had no contact with my baby. I have been put in a segregated room on the post natal ward. I'm not allowed to leave and can't have any visitors.

My heart is honestly breaking. I also have a 2 year old at home who I haven't seen for 4 days now.

Baby is improving and although he is still on oxygen, the levels are much better than they were. However I've not got any time frame on when they think he will be able to be moved up to post natal and be with me.

I feel like this is really affecting my mental health. I know my baby is in the best place but I am being treated like I have covid, even though I am negative and double jabbed.

I just don't know what to do with myself. I'm stuck in this room, without either of my children and I can't leave unless I discharge myself which they have advised me not to do incase baby is able to move up at some point.

😢💔

I think some posters here don’t really know what NICU is like. In my experience, you wouldn’t be able to just move the OP in and let them isolate together. The rooms are not set up as regular hospital rooms and beyond a chair (and possibly a breast pump), there are no facilities for adults at all.

@QueenCremant

Don’t assume that staff will be allowed to work if they’ve been in contact with covid. I work in oncology and we have to stay at home or be redeployed with less vulnerable patients. This may well be true of nicu.

Op, I hope you get to see your baby soon.

Given how transmissible omicron is though there's every chance they won't know, I'm going to guess they don't all use the fit for purpose app, and venues aren't taking down details to contact people anymore. If testing is sufficient for them, it should be for mothers who are being kept away from their poorly newborns.

Hey I can't see your PM?

OP I am so sorry. This is inhumane and my heart goes out to you. I can’t add to the advice already given I just wanted to say how sorry I am and that I hope this is resolved soon.

Not fit for purpose *

My sister had this but couldn’t visit due to her own post birth injuries for around 24 hours. She had a picture which was better than nothing, and was able to express and given some support and a syringe to put it in for the baby which helped a little.

My heart really goes out to you OP. I’ve been there in terms of being separated from a baby in NICU and it is really tough - I imagine it must be especially hard when it feels like the only reason you are apart is “rules” (however necessary they need be).

It was a horrible time (I didn’t see him at all for days, then I could see him but not touch him, then eventually touch/hold him, established breastfeeding around day 8-9 and home on day 16). I actually found being able to see him but not touch him harder than not seeing him at all.

Anyway he took to breastfeeding like a champ, carried on until he nearly 3. He’s now 5 and our bond is so strong. He’s the most loving, cuddly boy and we’ve made up for the lost newborn snuggles a thousand times over.

I can’t offer any practical advice about the covid situation but hopefully I can reassure you that lots of us have got through a separation like this. Practically speaking, if breastfeeding is important to you, are you expressing colostrum? And I’d advise starting pumping sooner rather than later to get your supply kick-started. .

Did you not read, mother is double jabbed & testing negative. Try perhaps to empathise.

This is awful and just not ok in my opinion. I am so so sorry you are going through this op i really am. I am upset and angry on your behalf.

I would communicate what you have said here to the team that are looking after you and see if anything can be done to facilitate you seeing your baby and/ or get you some support.

It must be really tough for you. Sending you so much love. Your baby will be in your arms soon 💙

That seems so cruel and inhumane! Can’t offer any words of wisdom but you have my utmost sympathy.

My first child was in NICU after he was born and I wasn’t allowed to see him for 5 hours while they ran lots of tests. That was hard enough.

OP I was in a similar situation nearly 2 years ago and thought they would have came up with a better solution, it doesn't help that you have people describing it as not having "newborn snuggles" how cutesy and a way to downplay what is actually happening to the OP.

I have no advice OP but I hope you are able to see your baby and other DC soon.

I'm so sorry you are going through this OP.

I had a baby born at 32 weeks and due to my illness post labour I didn't see her properly or hold her for 3 days.

However I can completely see why this rule is in place and its completely necessary. There are often very vulnerable babies in the NICU and some born very early with compromised lungs etc. The rules will be in place to protect those babies. I know this doesn't make it easier for you and appreciate its still hard. I guess all you can do is push for an answer on when you will be 'released' from your isolation.

Wishing you all the best and congratulations.

I’m a midwife and I think this is really bad. I get the need to protect the staff and the other babies but OP could do an LFT every day. The same as a nurse would have to do if someone in their household was positive, They’d still be expected to go to work!

OP, I’d be asking to talk to the head of midwifery today and also ringing PALS.

This is cruelty, to both you and baby. I would recommend contacting the organisation Pregnant then screwed pregnantthenscrewed.com/ as they may have some advice on NICE guidelines you can quote to get to see your baby. The hospital should be supporting maternal attachment and breastfeeding /expressing especially for babies in NICU. My heart breaks for you.

That is so unbelievably distressing for you. I was separated from my baby briefly due to being too unwell to visit NICU. Pre covid. It was so awful and deeply affected me. Not the bonding but just the trauma of it. I get you’ve been exposed but it seems crazy seeing as so many people must have been inadvertently exposed, not know about it and are going in and out. Nursery, doctors and parents. My baby had breathing difficulties and was on high flow. She turned it around quickly tho and was out of NICU in 4 days. I hope your baby also gets better quickly and you can hold him again.

And I also disagree that being in the same ward as someone who tested positive for covid is the same as being in the household with someone who tests positive for covid. I get far more up close and personal with family than a patient would with other patients.

Chances are they were 2m distance at all times. So the exposure is more akin to a restaurant setting not a household setting and most people,don’t have that app on anymore so wouldnt know.

@Neurodiversitydoctor

I apologise I have been on leave and didn't see the new guidence. I do wonder though if they might try to prevent close contacts from doing face to face work with vunerable patients, but obviously that would be for infection control in each trust.

They do

The safety precautions in haematology and oncology units are extensive.

There are certain areas in hospitals that are kept really clean for extremely good reason.

This is awful.

OP, regardless of how the next few days pan out, if you can find the time/energy, I would write a letter to the hospital CEO and your local MP (the same letter).

Write calmly and factually. Tell them what happened, your vaccine status etc. And then explain what the protocols have meant on a practical level to you and your family, how it has impacted you, and ask why after 2 pandemic years there is no better solution in place than to separate mothers and children for 10 days, when the mother is testing negative.

If the guidance is coming from “the top” then you need to get your MP to ask the question at state level. The hospital CEO should understand what these policies mean on the ground for patients.

It won’t change anything for you, but it might help you feel less powerless, and help other mothers who may later be in your position.

I totally, completely and utterly feel for you.
I would be sad and angry too, even if seems unjustified.
I had my youngest at the height of covid in 2020, I was seperated from here, but had to stay in for 24 hours and then we were back in for a couple of days when she was a week old as she needed to go under the billy lamp for jaundice. I wasn't allowed any visitors at any point and I cried for most of the time I was in hospital with her the second time. Obviously, staff couldn't even give me a hug and I was just left to it the whole entire time.

I really hope time flies for you and you can be reunited with your little one as soon as possible, and your big one too! Sending you all the virtual hugs and love xxxx

@GoodPrincessWenceslas no one is saying they don’t. But as @WarmForDecember has pointed out all those other parents and staff are coming and going and could be close contacts/higher risk thank OP.

There really is a difference between that situation and exposing staff and babies to someone they know to have spent several hours in a room with someone with Covid.

People assume that the hospital will be applying the same rules for ICU staff who have been in contact with known cases as the government is applying for NHS staff generally. But in practice many hospitals are applying stricter rules, precisely because they have to minimise the risk having to close the whole of ICU down if too many staff contract Covid.

My understanding is risk = proximity x infectiousness x time of exposure. For me the problem here is the duration of exposure (potentially 24 hours in the same room ) but we don't know, also obviously makes a difference if it was the bed next door or on the other side of the ward, again we don't know. But the infection control team at the hospital will know these things and have done their risk assesment and have decided OP is a close contact.

This is senseless. The damage is out of all proportion to the risk. The father is in contact with all kinds of people everyday and is allowed to hold the baby. The mother is being held away from her child although she is testing negative. The NICU should be finding ways to keep the mother and baby together, not reasons to keep them apart for longer.

This treatment - and the empathy-free doctor on this thread - remind me so much of my time in NICU with first child, I feel sick.

But OP, you will be ok. That first child is now a huge teenager. We bonded when he was finally released. Time faded the trauma. But I am so sorry you are being put through this.

My heart broke a little bit reading your OP. My first baby was born after a long and difficult induced Labour and seems to have done the same as yours - refused to breathe at full term delivery and was packed off to NICU. I didn’t see him for the first 4-5 hours and it was hell. In fact I only saw him that night because my friend is a very determined anaesthetic consultant who came to the hospital personally to make it happen, and along with a porter and my DH wheeled me in a bed to NICU. Otherwise it would have been the next day once my catheter had been removed etc. It is truly heartbreaking that you are in this situation.

I think in your shoes I would be trying to look for a compromise - can baby come to you briefly? He’s full term so not as fragile as some of the other babies.

I can see that the risk of you going to NICU is unacceptable, just think of how angry you are that you have been exposed to covid and are thus in this situation - any other parent would be livid if you introduced covid to NICU.

Please don’t underestimate the effect that this separation will be having on your mental health though. It’s a real risk.

It’s also worth understanding that once babies leave NICU it is sometimes the case that they are notallowed back into the unit for treatment (because the other babies are so vulnerable). Babies who have left and become unwell will sometimes be sent to a general paediatric centre. Another reason why bringing him to you might not work.

Sending love. I hope he’s released quickly, mine came to the ward after a couple of days, still on antibiotics but no longer needing invasive treatment.

This is complete nonsense OP. Be difficult about it.

I gave birth at the start of the pandemic and by day 3 in hospital I felt really upset and low as I was in there on my own without my husband or any visitors. And I was with my baby not separated from my baby.

If you are testing negative what is the issue. This is just cruelty.

But the infection control team at the hospital will know these things and have done their risk assesment and have decided OP is a close contact

If I were the OP I'd be pushing for confirmation of this, plus a lab test to check for even a trace of infection. I tested positive but (after me kicking up a fuss) the lab was able to advise the ward that I only had a trace result and was unlikely to be infectious.