What kind of birth did you have, what kind of birth did you want and how did it/they make you feel?

[TWIGgerhappy]

I had c-sections.

I always wanted a home-water birth with candles and music. On the flip side I also wanted a hospital birth with every drug available.

In the end I was told at 32 weeks that I would be having a section to preserve my eyesight .. so after a couple of weeks got used to the thought.

I have never had a contraction, nor a braxton hick. I wonder sometimes how I would have coped.

But the births I have had have been wonderful because they have all been about meeting my children. I regret nothing, both of them latched on within the hour .. both of them were given to DH to hold as soon as possible. Both of them are healthy and I can see them both.

I feel empowered at having created 2 discrete human beings. I did that. Nobody else. Without my body they wouldn't be alive. It is amazing.

And you know what, so are you .. whatever kind of birth you had.

So share....

wanted: a homebirth
got: a hospital based induction

I thought it was all over when I went in for induction and was fully prepared for nightmare failure to progress and c-s (which was my biggest fear).

It was surprisingly ok, managed on G&A, fairly mobile, very quick. Only downside was the bossy midwife who turned up at the 11th hour to deliver me and refused to allow me to continue to labour standing. She made me get on my back and DS went straight into distress, 5 minutes later he was ventoused. It was ok, but still cross at that midwife. If I got her this time I'd tell her to f off and carry on standing...

Generally felt lucky, and over the moon with DS.

VBAC: Vaginal Birth After Caesarean.
doula: birth partner,trained but not in a health-professional capacity.

DS1 - Induced, epidural, pretty much as expected

DS2 - 3 Days in labour, intense pain but they wouldn't admit me or give pain relief because 'I wasn't dilating'. After 3 days I started to dilate, son born within 1 hour of getting to hosptal. Baby was stressed and heart nearly stopped so they were getting ready for emergency CS. Gave epesiotomy (sp?) without consent, or Local A (although I do understand the rush). I can't help thinking that I should have been admitted earlier and labour speeded up. My baby could of died. And all I wanted was an epidural (refused, made use of gas and air which was also taken off me when I had to start pushing- very proud of myself for that!)

Sorry this has turned out to be looooong

I'm really interested in how many people feel if not trauma but that they didn't have the birth they wanted/ expected/ envisaged - this is true for all sorts, shapes, events....its a funny old game

my story: DS born 15 months ago. Not quite sure what birth I wanted because he came a month early before I'd worked it out, but I wanted natural birth, peace, quiet, skin to skin, time to enjoy...

what I got was emergency c-section. waters broke at 12 midnight (I thought) and because he was early went to hospital for check. Spent some time deciding if waters had broken or not. Doctor came, told I'd have a baby within 48 hours, internal exam following which he sat up very slowly and said "I need you to be very calm" ... then all hell broke loose. Basically, I had a prolapsed cord (the cord gets below the baby - between baby's head and vagina) - real emergency because as baby starts to emerge it effectively chokes itself... I now know this has 20% mortality for the baby..

Anyway, I had a C-section less than 20 minutes later. At time, felt shocked, thrilled, sick (drugs) etc. While I remain glad DS is fine (and divine) and realise there really was no choice I also feel cheated for not having the peace/ quiet thing...I never saw DS before he was clean and wrapped and swaddled, no skin to skin no immediate feeding and I can't actually remember much of what happened in his first few hours to either of us...

It didn't affect our bonding, after about 24 hours I picked him up and bascially never put him down again!

I am left not feeling sure how much I mind missing out because I was so "hyped" to have a natural birth and be in control - there is so much pressure, so many books and articles, so much discussion of the pain and glory of childbirth - I feel cut off from all this, I never even had a contraction and it can all make me feel like I am not a proper mum but I have to remind myself we can only do our best

sorry for length of post

I was induced at 41wks + 3 days & had DD at 41 + 6, had a VB. It was really near to Christmas and clearly all the Mum's (myself included) wanted to be home with a gorgeous, healthy baby on Christmas day, so it was v. v. busy. So there I was waiting my place in the queue, having had the 'hand-treatment' 3 times (prostaglandin?? gel) and waiting for a labour ward to become free so's they could break my waters.

It was like a Carry On film, I felt as though I was outside looking in. At one point there was a mother, who'd arrived in an ambulance and was being pushed down the corridor in a trolley with baby's head clearly visible. However, the nurse's shoe got stuck up in the trolley's wheel. The trolley was going nowhere and nurse 1-shoe wasn't happy about the bare foot. Poor mum continued to birth in full view of the ward.

The 'birthing plan' was thrown out the window. They bathed her without our permission, one of the cleaners removed her from my arms at one point, because she thought I was struggling with the breast-feeding, the list goes on. The only bit that we did get was that DH was to tell me the sex of the baby. So the MW held her up over me, towards DH and said, "what have you got, daddy" and he said, "a baby" and started crying. Very sweet.

I'm just glad she was ok. After so many days waiting with no sleep and having contractions and then the birth and the drugs, I was totally exhausted and overwhelmed. DH was really supportive and so we managed, but it was a real eye-opener. We both felt really vulnerable in hospital, scared to say anything controversial in case it adversely affected the care we'd receive. Like so many others, I started out not wanting to have any drugs and ended up having a spinal and 2 x morphine.

The more time goes on, the less I think about the birth, but I must say that if I ever have another baby, I will seriously consider a home birth. And I will also be much more resistant to being induced in the way that I was.

with dd1 i found the whole thing fairly horrifying even though it was all very straight forward. i think it was done to my own naivety about what exactly happens. started having weak contractions at 10 am on due date, had them all day. was in absolute agony by 2 am so went to the tiny midwife led unit where i was having her. was 3 cm dialated. started on the G&A at 6 am then had some meptid. waters broke fairly soon after this which sent me into a mad panic. refused to get off the bed the whole time as i thought it would hurt more! eventually after an hour and a half of pushing mws made me get of bed and onto birthing stool and out came dd at 11.13 am the day after her due date. had a 2 degree tear but other wise fine. found the whole pushing thing horrible and refused to have another child for 5 years as i didnt want to do it again.

then had dd2 - totally different experience. started contractions at 5 pm on due date, not bad but regular and to uncomfortable to sleep, went to hospital at 7 am to see what was happening and was only 2cm so sent home. was in agony by lucnch time but hung on at home as didnt want to be sent home again. eventually was dragged to hospital by little sis and dh and got there for 3pm, was 5 cm dialated. waters broke (didnt freak out this time)had some g&A. mw told me things were going quickly which led to me panicing at the thought of pushing and demanding pethidine. which i had. dd was born after 2 pushes one and 3/4 hrs after getting to hospital. my mw was ace, kept me walking about and pursuaded me to give birth on mats at the end of the bed which was fab. she also stayed witht me the whole time i was in labour.

im having dd3 in march and hoping for the same kind of birth as dd2 but hopefully without the pethidine. i did consider a home birth but i feel very comfortable in the hosital so think ill be going there