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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

What kind of birth did you have, what kind of birth did you want and how did it/they make you feel?

106 replies

TWIGgerhappy · 05/10/2007 19:46

I had c-sections.

I always wanted a home-water birth with candles and music. On the flip side I also wanted a hospital birth with every drug available.

In the end I was told at 32 weeks that I would be having a section to preserve my eyesight .. so after a couple of weeks got used to the thought.

I have never had a contraction, nor a braxton hick. I wonder sometimes how I would have coped.

But the births I have had have been wonderful because they have all been about meeting my children. I regret nothing, both of them latched on within the hour .. both of them were given to DH to hold as soon as possible. Both of them are healthy and I can see them both.

I feel empowered at having created 2 discrete human beings. I did that. Nobody else. Without my body they wouldn't be alive. It is amazing.

And you know what, so are you .. whatever kind of birth you had.

So share....

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HonoriaGlossop · 05/10/2007 20:33

Twig, what a nicely phrased thread title

I imagined a water birth. Didn't matter whether at home or hospital, but it was always me in the birthing pool, and then later me in nice fresh pyjamas with baby in arms, receiving my visitors looking tired but glowing

Back on planet earth, I had a mammoth over-50-hours of agony type labour ending in a crash CS. i was unwell after it and was wired and tubed up like a car crash victim. DS never able to latch on, my boobs not able to produce a drop of milk

In the interests of honesty I have to say it made me feel traumatised; however I've been amazed at the power of the bond between me and ds, which cut through ALL that had gone before, within just a few days

whoops · 05/10/2007 20:40

I'd like to have had a water birth or be moving around but with ds I had him by c section at 33 weeks and dd decided to be breech and I kept being told she was big so ended up having a section with her too.
Like you Twig I have never had a contraction and probably never will (unless I can persuade dh!)
I have created 2 great kids and don't really worry about the way they were brought into this world I'm just happy that they are healthy

pistachio · 05/10/2007 20:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hulababy · 05/10/2007 20:53

I had no preconcieved ideas of what I wanted my DD's birth to be like. My birth plan was very flexible and open to suggestion. I was only focused on having a baby at the end of it, I truely was. I really just didn't really have a clue about it all back then, just wanted baby out! I guess I had imagined I would have a natural birth, probably with some assistance from drugs or whatever at some point, it'd take a while but not be too bad. But I didn't plan on it either.

I ended up with an inductio, and then 50 hour slater a c section as I failed to progress, The induction was an horrendous experience and one I would never endure again. The c section was a breeze and a very positive experience. I held and saw my baby straight away, and just felt wonderful and over whelmed from there on in. Luckily I was out of hospital a couple of days later, enjoying my baby and healed well and reasonably quickly.

TheDuchessOfCorpseBride · 05/10/2007 21:06

1st) I wanted a water birth at my local midwife-only unit. And I had one.

2nd) I wanted a water birth at my local midwife-only unit. And I had one.

3rd) I wanted a home birth, possibly in my big Victorian tub. And I did that too.

4th). ?? I'd like another home birth next May. But it's too early to say for sure.

chankins · 05/10/2007 21:12

What a lovely post! Glad your eyesight was ok.
I wanted home birth with dd1 but no midwife available so had hospital, gas and air
Wanted water birth with dd2 and had it, in hospital, best birth ever!
Wanted home or water birth with ds1 but couldn't get either cos of staff shortages - his was shortest but most painful and worrying as his heart rate went down.
But like you I felt with each pg that a healthy baby was the most important outcome - and feel so so lucky that each has been born ok and made it.
My dear sis had a stillbirth baby boy when I was pg with dd2. Puts everything into perspective. All that matters is you get to hold your little one and take them home.

flamingtoaster · 05/10/2007 21:15

I had no firm ideas of how I expected my deliveries to go - I was just so happy and looking forward to becoming a mother.

DS - induced and then an emergency c-section because he was in distress (turned out cord was twice round his neck and he was very floppy when born but absolutely fine subsequently). I had the most overwhelming feeling of love the first time I looked at him and feeding was no problem.

DD - planned c-section. Very relaxed. Was worried how I would love a second child as much as the first - but again was besotted within seconds of holding her. Feeding did not go as smoothly with DD because it turned out later she was tongue-tied.

I feel I had two good births resulting in two lovely, healthy children.

Piffle · 05/10/2007 21:15

1= wanted pain free quick labour no probs
Got one - well ok pain ish but not bad at all
2= same but quicker
got that too
3= thought ahh why not homebirth yay! 3rd one is bound to just slip out un noticed...
well after 9 hrs of overnight labour with 0% progress I was prescribed a hospital dash over bumpy roads and duly has ds upon disembarking

Lovely indeed!
I've been told by dp that another attempt might result in us parting so.....
this is it for me!

phdlife · 05/10/2007 21:19

I wanted a water birth, but when I got in the tub MW said, "telling you now, given size of that baby, I don't want you giving birth in here." Turned out I hated the water and hopped out after 10mins anyway!

Then DH and MW persuaded me to try entonox, which I hated and quit that after 10mins too.

Labour progressed brilliantly; it didn't hurt anything like I thought it would; I pushed like a hero when they said to and... nothing happened. After 2hrs of pushing they said "section".

There is one part of me that is really disappointed I didn't get to feel like the champion hero natural birth woman I wanted to be. But I also know I could feel ds's feet under my ribs when I was trying to push; after 10hrs labour on top of a long day, I could not have carried on pushing when he was so far from coming out. I couldn't even go on hands and knees, felt too wobbly/tired. So in that sense, I don't regret the section at all. I cried a lot at the time but that was just shock, I got it all out and then there was my beautiful ds. They put the 3 of us in a recovery room and basically forgot about us, we had the whole afternoon lying there skin-to-skin, poor dh falling asleep in a chair.

If I can have another, I'd like to get really fit beforehand and see if I can do it all myself. Just gotta persuade dh we should go for it again

Jas · 05/10/2007 21:20

DD1 I wanted a water birth (in hospital) and got a calm and relaxed vag delivery.

DD2. I planned a home birth and got a crash csec (was in hosp to be checked before going home for birth )and a healthy baby....another perfect birth.

DS I wanted a vbac and got one.

I have three wonderful children, and nothing but positive memories for all three births (despite the fact I wasn't there for dd2 as I had a ga)

TheLadyEvenstar · 05/10/2007 21:50

right at the beginning of my pregnancy i toyed with the idea of a home birth but remembering my ds1's birth 9 yrs ago made me change my mind...However on 18th september just gone my waters went at 8.40pm, dp was rushing around getting things ready as I was not due for 4 more weeks. 8.50 i told him to forget taking me in the car and get me an ambulance, which he did. they arrived at 9.05 and asked me the usual questions taking the time to somewhere near 7 minutes past.... i then had one major contraction sucked on gas and air like it had gone out of fashion and at 9.11 i had my beautiful son in my arms.

weblette · 06/10/2007 12:34

Dd - no ideas really but ended up with impersonal badly-managed OP birth with ventouse.

Ds1 - wanted Domino care, got it and was delivered by someone I knew in lovely calm circs. Felt in charge rather than the first time where I seemed an inconvenience.

Ds2 - planned home birth. No midwives available but too advanced to go in so was delivered at home by paramedics. Very chaotic, very fast but worth it for the blissful feeling afterwards.

#4 - another planned home birth but the midwife this time is very clued up and is trying to rearrange shifts so she'll be free to deliver him Really looking forward to it.

ebenezer · 06/10/2007 13:28

dc 1 - no very firm ideas, didn't write a birth plan ,spent ages deciding whether to go for small midwife-led unit or big hospital. Ended up in the small unit, lovely atmosphere, just me, dh and lovely midwife. VERY painful longish labour on gas and air but felt on cloud nine and so empowered when i did it. For me, NOT having a fixed idea in my head was def the right way... several friends at NCT classes with me were dead set on natural births and exactly what they would /would not have, and a lot of them ended up with interventions and far more medicalised births. So maybe it pays sometimes to keep an open mind! DC 2 was C-section and needed to be for medical reasons. I had epidural for this, so totally painfree experience and much 'easier' than first birth. To be honest, I felt as though this was a procedure I 'had done' to me rather than giving birth, it was obviously a totally medicalised experience with anaesthetists etc but it was the in the best interests of DC 2, so just the way it had to be i guess.

glaskham · 06/10/2007 13:45

ds~ hospital birth, no pain relief, but lots of stiches.....was very good for a first labour though, no lasting damage (physical or mental!!) LOL!!!

dd~ home birth, very natural, no pain relief again was perfect- loved every second and could do it every day if they all were that plesant an experience....though the cd my husband had made me on the pc was F up by him putting a random song in the middle of it- rock music wasnt the best thing when i was trying to relax!!! haha!!

2Happy · 06/10/2007 14:06

Both times I wanted a nice, relaxed natural delivery with the pool for labouring in.

Both times they were overdue. ds1 was OP and superman and labour never established by itself so ended up with epidural and synt and eventually forceps. ds2 was worse and had a deep tranverse arrest, failed forceps and came out the sun roof. I have a funny shaped pelvis, apparently

And both times I felt like a complete failure for not being "able" to give birth.

I know in the long run it won't matter, 10 years down the line the only reason I'll care about the deliveries is because of the trashing my pelvic floor got from ds1, but at the times of their births I felt useless

Loopymumsy · 06/10/2007 18:58

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Message withdrawn

smileyhappymummy · 06/10/2007 20:16

I ideally wanted a waterbirth in my local hospital - but tried to be open about what I wanted and (half-jokingly) said I didn't really mind what happened so long as I didn't have a section under GA (always been terrified of GAs) and we were both alright in the end. Turns out I should have been a bit more specific.... didn't have a GA but did get group b strep septicaemia so had an emergency section, baby had an apgar of 2 and went to scbu, I ended up in theatre for 4.5 hours, lost 7 litres of blood and then went to ITU so didn't get to see dd properly for ages.
I was surprised by how upset I felt (and still feel sometimes) - really feel like I missed out on some things (like the photos everyone has of their new family shortly after giving birth - when we should have been having this dh and me were still in theatre, I was terrified that I or dd or both might die and poor baby was having a lumbar puncture). However, I'm profoundly grateful that we are both here and well and happy so in the end all's well that ends well. Hopefully if there's a next time things will be a bit calmer - though still need to convince dh that a next time is a good idea!

nimnom · 06/10/2007 20:28

I hadn't really thought too much about the birth when at 24 weeks I started bleeding on and off for the rest of my pregnancy with ds1. Because i was in and out of hospital I wasn't at all surprised that I ended up with an emergency c-section and in the end was just glad to have a healthy baby however he came out.

Second time round, I was convinced it would all go pear-shaped again, but once I got to about 36 weeks i actually was quite looking forward to vbac. BIG MISTAKE. It was awful, for various reasons - gas and air not working properly, epidural failing right at end and ds2 (just like ds1)not realising that getting your head engaged is quite a good idea if you want to be born!!!
Still, I did end up with another healthy baby which is the main thing.

Needless to say, i won't be doing it again!!

LaDiDaDi · 06/10/2007 20:30

I wanted an elective section.

I had an emergency section at 32 weeks for pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome. The actual birth bit didn't bother me but I feel very like smileyhappymummy in that I feel that I missed out on those moments immediately after birth, missed dd spending her first night in the worl next to me etc.

Would happily have an elective section in the future even though I had a wound dehiscence that meant I had a funny drain thing attached to my tummy for 4/5 weeks.

notnowbernard · 06/10/2007 20:30

Both bbabies born in pool, in hospital. Used gas and air.

Knew I wanted a hospital birth, hadn't planned a water birth (prior to dd1 had actually thought I'd hate it). Was up for having ANY DRUG if needed!

Both deliveries 'uneventful/uncomplicated'.

Both left me feeling bloody marvellous, but think that was more about meeting my baby (as mentioned in OP)

Roskva · 06/10/2007 20:37

I thought I wanted a water birth with nothing more than gas&air. And I was allowed in the birthing pool even though I was induced (which apparently some units don't allow)

But ...

I hated being in the water - I found it really claustrophobic and hot. So I only lasted about 10 mins in it, too. The gas&air made me violently sick.

So...

I had pethidine. Things progressed nicely until dd got stuck, and after pushing for several hours and raising my blood pressure alarmingly, ended up having an emergency section.

My midwife was actually really worried I would be traumatised because things ended up so differently from my expectations. I was terrified of the idea of an epidural, until the time came that I needed one, when apparently I told the anaesthetist to "bl**dy well get on with it"! I was actually more concerned about my baby. She was fine, and whatever else happened, that was actually the most important to me.

Mossy · 06/10/2007 20:43

I wanted a natural (ish) birth, just g&a, in the hospital's birthing centre, preferably, if it was available, in the pool, baby put to the breast immediately.

I went overdue and got persuaded (bullied?) by dh, mil and several mw's to be induced at 42 weeks.

Spent hours strapped to a bed dying for the loo while several mw's came in and out to say "we can't get a trace you've moved haven't you?" waiting for pessaries to work.

Finally got moved after hours and hours into the labour ward, was put on a drip, had waters broken, in agonising pain that the gas and air could not touch. Had two lots of diamorphine which tbh didn't touch the sides but made me sleep between contractions.

Could not push ds out no matter what I did, was fully dilated but he would not come, everyone shouting "push! PUSH!" at me, when I said, "but I CAN'T!" they said, "yes you CAN!" and then scary Doctor lady came in and said something about foetal distress and should they get theatre ready ...

... mw gave me episiotomy and out splurged ds...

... who had to be resuscitated and while I was stitched up dh had skin to skin contact after ds was back up and running...

... ds wouldn't latch on, just nibbled at the breast, I was not taught hand expression or anything...

Then I had to sign a form to say it was okay to give him formula while he went to the special care unit because of his low cord ph and how it would be better for me anyway because I needed to have a good sleep.

The rest is a bit of a blur until I woke up at six in the morning shivering not knowing where my baby was and vaguely remembering eventually and running to the mw's to implore them to take me to him.

God it is horrible remembering all that. Sometimes I don't think about it and sometimes it still gets to me. I still blame myself for not being strong enough to have stood up to everyone who persuaded me into induction - I don't know if natural labour would have made a difference but ...

I suppose in the end I am just glad he is here, however he got here. But sometimes I do feel I let him down, I know that sounds silly.

mumfor1standfinaltime · 06/10/2007 20:46

I had a c section too, an emergency one.

My waters broke at 6am, I stayed at home having regular contractions until around 2.30pm, when I left for the hospital. I was 3 mins apart with my contractions when we left.

By the time I reached the hospital I felt well under way with the birth! It took me a while to reach the labour ward because I had to stop for a contraction.
When I got into a labour room I was greeted with a friendly midwife who asked me some questions and inspected my press on towel! She whisked it off!
I just carried on with contractions and being in pain until she came back with a doctor (I think). Any way to cut an extremely long story (and a blurry one)I was eventually whisked off for an emergency c section. They discovered ds was breech and he was distressed, my blood pressure was also very high (I was asked why this was high by a doctor, I replied 'beacuse I am in labour and in pain!)
I was only given gas and air up until the point of being led in for surgery around 7pm (I had passed out inbetween these times and had no idea of time)
Ds was born at 7.29pm weighing 9lb 12oz.

I look back and it does distress me, the labour I ended up with. However I look at him each day and I love him so much it hurts x

PestoPumpkinMonster · 06/10/2007 20:49

I had one emergency C-section
and
one elective C-section

The first made me exhausted (as I had laboured first for 24 hours or so)

The second made me elated (as it was such a doddle)

Amethyst8 · 06/10/2007 20:51

2 C Sections. An emergency after 43 hours of labour for the first and then an elective for the second.

Would have liked to have done it naturally but with DS it was not to be and with DD there was no way on earth I was going through all that again. I know C Sections take a lot longer to recover from but for me I would take that over 43 hours of pure agony any time. They could not get me to theatre quick enough.

I must admit I was utterly terrified during the labour with my first child. No one told me anything. When I had been in labour for 24 hours they sent me home because I hadnt progressed and I had an awful midwife who was obviously not happy being at work that night and caused me tremendous pain when she examined me. The next day a male midwife examined me after she had gone and it hurt about 1% of the examination she had done even though I was further along in labour. She was an absolute cow. Sometimes I fantasise about seeing her on the street and bopping her on the nose. Thats how much she affected me.

All worth it though, obviously.

C Sections all the way for me, thank you very much!!