What kind of birth did you have, what kind of birth did you want and how did it/they make you feel?

[TWIGgerhappy]

I had c-sections.

I always wanted a home-water birth with candles and music. On the flip side I also wanted a hospital birth with every drug available.

In the end I was told at 32 weeks that I would be having a section to preserve my eyesight .. so after a couple of weeks got used to the thought.

I have never had a contraction, nor a braxton hick. I wonder sometimes how I would have coped.

But the births I have had have been wonderful because they have all been about meeting my children. I regret nothing, both of them latched on within the hour .. both of them were given to DH to hold as soon as possible. Both of them are healthy and I can see them both.

I feel empowered at having created 2 discrete human beings. I did that. Nobody else. Without my body they wouldn't be alive. It is amazing.

And you know what, so are you .. whatever kind of birth you had.

So share....

I wanted as intervention- and pain-relief-free a birth s possible both times. First time I cracked and had epidural after 2 days of painful contractions that got me to 3cm. Ended up with syntocin, episiotomy, ventouse. Second time (2 weeks ago) I had some contractions I didn't feel were bad enough to be 'real labour yet', took the bus to hospital and half an hour later ds2 was born. No pain relief. Ventouse again because the cord was round his neck, but I pushed too. I had been upright and moving throughout, but after lying down briefly for monitoring I literally couldn't get up again - I do feel a bit sad about not having given birth standing up - but after the initial shock at the speed of it, I felt pretty elated and proud of myself. Feeling the head was like nothing else on earth, despite the pain (which always remained just this side of bearable).

I really wanted a natural active birth, I did last for over 12 hrs with just gas and air but by that point I was so tired I was falling asleep between contractions which were about 30 secs apart so not much sleep. I was told if I didnt get some rest I would be too tired to be able to push him out so I had an epidural which I orginially didnt want, after some rest and 5 hrs later I was ready to push, but after 2 hrs of pushing my son went in2 distress and I had a crash section with a general. I felt so traumatised afterwards, not about the labour just from went things went wrong, everytime I thought of it I burst in2 tears and also had nightmares and flashbacks for months afterwards. I also felt like a failure and found bonding difficult I felt that as I had missed his birth and the first few hrs of his life and even his first bf as they latched him on when I was still out that I had misssed out on those important first moments.
With my 2nd I decided on a vbac, the labour went pretty much the same but they allowed me to push for three hrs b4 they pulled him with forceps however I lost so much blood that I passed out as they delievered him, so I also missed his birth. Although the 2nd was probably more traumatic than the 1st it really didnt bother me, probably because I was already expecting the worst because of what had happened with my 1st so if I had managed to of had a good birth that would of just of been a bonus. Also as my relationship with my eldest was fine I had the hindsight to know that didnt really matter missing the birth as along as I had my baby and we all same and well. When I think back to my section now it doesnt bother me too much, but it bothers me more how it made me feel and all those months of beating myself up about it

I wanted a water birth at the hospital (I'm too old for a home birth). I was fully prepared to say I wanted drugs if the pain got too bad but I thought I'd see how things went.

In the end, I was booked for a controlled ARM because I had polyhydramnios but they couldn't do it because they were too scared the cord would prolapse so I had to have a CS.

I initially made a reasonable recovery and was home within 3 days. But my postnatal mw didn't turn up to take out my stitches when she was supposed to so one of the beads got embedded leading to an infection, my hips got so bad I couldn't walk and a week after that, I got three massive haematomas on my scar. Wasn't exactly a walk in the park and I spent the first month of my DS's life taking huge quantities of painkillers and antibiotics.

Not the best start in life really

3 vaginal deliveries.

DS1 - I didn't know what I did or didn't want. It was a disaster. I was disempowered, confined to a bed. I wasn't prepared.

DS2 - I knew what I wanted. I was strong and in control. It was a truly beautiful experience.

DD - She had other ideas, she was breech until 3 days before she was born. I was fully prepared for a CS. It took me ages to come to terms to the idea of a CS because I am so very frightened of having a spinal (having had two bothed epis with DS1). In the end she came, I was there and just let my body get on with it. I didn't try to control it and it was equally as beautiful as the birth of DS2.

The process of pregnancy and birth is the most incredible thing I have ever done. The privilege of growing a complex individual and the joy of seeing them into the world is an amazing thing.

3 vaginal deliveries.

DS1 - I didn't know what I did or didn't want. It was a disaster. I was disempowered, confined to a bed. I wasn't prepared.

DS2 - I knew what I wanted. I was strong and in control. It was a truly beautiful experience.

DD - She had other ideas, she was breech until 3 days before she was born. I was fully prepared for a CS. It took me ages to come to terms to the idea of a CS because I am so very frightened of having a spinal (having had two botched epis with DS1). In the end she came, I was there and just let my body get on with it. I didn't try to control it and it was equally as beautiful as the birth of DS2.

The process of pregnancy and birth is the most incredible thing I have ever done. The privilege of growing a complex individual and the joy of seeing them into the world is an amazing thing.

oy yes about the synto
I had natural placental stage with 1st 2 babies
With ds2 due to being homebirth transfer and mw ending shift she asked me to take the jab - I agreed....

With dd and ds1 I bled only averagely for 7 days then very light for 10 days

With ds2 after teh jab, I bled for SEVEN weeks plus it came and went was massive bleeding some days....

Message withdrawn

2 vaginal births.

First one, lots of pain, begged for epidural at 4cm. Got one.

Started pushing at around 1.30PM after 21 hours of labour.

At around 3 or so, midwife called in consultant.

By then I was in lots of pain and begged for csection but she reckoned she could do the delivery forceps so called in anaesthetist to top up epidural.

DD1 born at 4.05PM.

Stiches, the lot.

Second birth, I woke up around 6.30 feeling like strong BH contractions.

Took a shower. Rang community midwife and got voicemail.

Woke DH around 7.30. He woke DD1 around 8.30.

Phoned his folks around 9 and asked them to come over because by this time I was deffo having contractions.

MIL took one look at me and told DH to take me to hospital.

By the time we got there, I couldn't stand up to get out of the car. He had to run in and get midwife.

I was 9cm dilated and DD2 born about 20 mins. after arrival. Too late for any pain relief but G&A, which made me feel like I was suffocating.

Suffered only a graze.

Wanted a waterbirth in the midwife led unit with minimal intervention very calm etc etc.

Ended up with an E/S at 34 weeks because DS was dying and I was sick (He's ok now) and they wanted us to see him before he died as they suspected he had massive brain damage (he doens't). Didn't see DS for over 6 hours, wasn't given a photo or anything. Was put in the waterbirth room to 'recover' as the final irony. It was the most stressful upsetting god awful day of my life but I have my son so I'm grateful to them and the scbu team beyond anything I can express for saving his life

With dd1 I was going to go with the flow and see what happened. What happened was that I went overdue, waters broke, had diamorphine 1st big mistake as it knocked me out completely, then when I woke up I was all woozy and tired and asked for an epidural for the pain 2nd big mistake as it made me sick turns out they hadn't given me some anti-sickness injection? anyway after hours of drifting in and out of conciousness and being sick dd's heart rate started dropping and in the end I was rushed to theatre for a forceps delivery. they managed to get her out with the forceps. But it's taken me 10 years to realise through talking to other people that they don't rush you to theatre for a forceps delivery unless they think it's not going to work and have to give you an emergency section, didn't cotton on to that at the time.

6 and a half years later dd2 on the way. I wrote a birth plan which was very detailed about not wanting diamorphine (they don't use that now anyway) or an epidural. Wanting to be mobile etc and wanting to be consulted at all times about what was going on and that I did not want a forceps delivery if at all possible.
I had a lovely natural birth, with a bit of gas and air towards the end, but I did it all myself and delivered a healthy bouncing baby girl. and found myself thinking the next day I could do all that again, dh didn't agree, lol We're stopping at 2.

how awful bewilderbeast

how old is your ds now and is he OK?

I wanted waterbirths in hosp. for both and luckily I got my wish both times.

With Ds1, I started having contractions on Thurs. night and he was born the Sunday morn. @ 6.29am. We tried to get into the hosp a couple of times, once on Fri. and on Sat. but they turned me away. I was also turnt away on the Sat. night at 6cms dialated as I refused to stay the night without Dh. My Mum rang the hosp and asked what they were playing at sending me home and by the time we got back there, 10 min drive away, the pool was full and ready to go!!
I was fine, had a 2nd degree tear but that was okay, had G&A while that was sorted! LOL
It got traumatic afterwards as he had terrible jaundice and was in for 2 weeks before we could take him home.
The Docs did not want me to BF as they didn't want him out from under the lamps/off the billiblanket for more than 10 mins at a time. By the time he was latched, he had to go back in the cot.

For Ds2, contractions started at 7.45pm Saturday and he was born at 00.43, Sunday.
They told me at hosp. I could not use the pool as there was not enough staff but my MW had written on my notes for them to ring her when I went into labour wether she was on shift or not because of the awful problem trying to actually get into the hospital with Ds1.
She arrived quickly and the pool was filled. In I got. She was pretty much comandeered as soon as she got in as they were short and spent most of the time just outside the door, which she left ajar, and let us get on with it, which was nice.
I suffered post partum haemorrage (sp?) this time and was told I might have to go straight to theatre for a hysterectomy! At 23 yrs old!!
They managed to stop the bleeding and I had to stay for 4 nights.

Both experiences had bad bits, but it was not the actual birthing, it was afterwards and in the case of Ds1, getting into the blardy hosp!!
I thoroughly enjoyed actually giving birth both times.
If/when we have another, I want the same again, please!

I have waffled somewhat, my apologies.

4 babies,
dd1 vaginal del, long sore and loads of stitches
ds1 easy breezy vaginal del no pain relief
ds2 emergengy c-section due to placental abruption (very lucky all was ok)
dd2 the smallest of the bunch and another terribly painful vaginal birth.

wouldnt change a thing about any of them, once the babies in your arms the birth part becomes a fuzzy memory whichever route it took.

DD - wanted a home water birth with gas and air (if needed), no internal examinations, no shouting to tell me to push, uninterrupted skin to skin for a few hours after birth and a natural third stage.

I got everthing I wanted and gave birth to a very calm, healthy daughter after 13 hours in labour. I needed gas and air for 1.5 hours (although I did get through 4 canisters in this time!) and felt fantastic afterwards. It was a great experience and I would even go so far as saying I enjoyed it!

I always knew I would have a CS. Glad I stood up for myself as DS1 was oblique with a huge head and needed a ventouse anyway. The OB said, 'be grateful you didn't try and push him out'. Babies weren't allowed in the recovery room so we were separated for 4 hours. Ddidn't bother me at the time, didn't affect Bf at all but I shudder looking back, the poor wee mite.

DS2 was also an elective CS. Snuggled with him in the recovery area for 3 hours and he just fed and fed and fed. Bliss

I guess I'm just lucky that I ended up with exactly the birth experience I wanted. My friend wantted a home birth and had a CS for a footling breech. She is still devastated and I don't know how best to support her (I'm so frightened I say something daft as I'm so pro-CS). I feel depseratly sorry for her.

DD1 - wanted a water birth in a midwife led unit with no pain relief. Didn't get to get into the water but the rest of it was exactly how I hoped, in fact it was better than I thought it would be, and not as painful as I thought it would be. Didn't expect to have a child with Down's syndrome that ended up in intensive and then Special care but I think the lovely birth I had all helped me bond with her.

DD2 - wanted a home birth with no pain relief or intervention from midwife. Got exactly that. Again was better than I thought it could ever be and DD1 got to see her sister be born. I cut the cord and breastfed, skin to skin immediately.

DD3 - wanted a home, water birth, got it. Best birth yet. Actually enjoyed the labour and although there was a moment when i got scared at pushing I was calmed by the lovely Mars and was able to breathe DD out. Again cur the cord, lovely skin to skin cuddles and she breast fed straight away.

I felt proud of myself and happy that I was able to enjoy my births and lucky and glad I never felt out of control etc. So pleased that my last experience of child birth was such a wonderful one and will treasure everything about that day forever.

Will treasure the memories of all my births and feel very blessed.

I had a homebirth with my dd. It was planned and luckily pretty easy. She was born within 3 hours of my first twinge. And I got a natural third stage too, I have a rather chilled out midwife who didn't feel the need to rush me since i was so quick anyway.

I have come to the conclusion that as long as you have some vestige of control over the birth you have, even if that means changing plans at the last moment, then it seems to be more likely to give a more satisfying outcome.

Wanted a homebirth in water with minimal intervention, mostly because I was TERRIFIED of ventouse or forceps and damage that might be done my bits, having heard some horror stories. I honestly considered elective c-section to avoid this possibility and I still think that homebirth and elective although considered by some as opposite ends of the spectrum are both about control and empowerment, Both are trying to avoid a bad vaginal birth.

Ended up with a beautiful homebirth in water and gorgeous DD however the pain was absolutely shocking and very intense for 24hrs right from the start. Stiches without spinal block are not to be recommended either TBH so unusually I would consider a medicalised approach next time!!
Giving birth at home made me feel empowered and proud and very relaxed, mostly cos I had the support of a fab midwife. However I do not feel as evangelical about it as many who have had babies at home, I think better pain relief for stitches particularly will be on my wish list next time.

I wanted a birth that was the safest delivery for my baby, in a hospital that didn't send me home in the middle of labour. I didn't care about anything else - except that some pain relief was available. That's what I got.

It was hard work and bloody painful and frustrating at times, but when the baby popped out, none of that mattered.

Planned a peaceful homebirth for number 5. Ended up with elective CS because she was breech. Was absolutely petrified- am needle phobic and didn't want to be awake but told not allowed GA.

As it turned out it was a calm, relaxed experience. No pain, no panic and wonderful staff falling over themselves to reassure me. A very positive experience and a healthy beautiful DD.

I wanted: home waterbirth, natural, no drugs.

I had: as above until it came to pushing dd out. Then I was rushed to hospital, had 3 failed ventouse attempts, extensive episiotomy, a surgeon tried to push her back up and turn her and then an emergency section. She was trying to come out ear first we eventually discovered.

I feel: traumatised and if I am honest like I let myself and dd down. I still have flashbacks and nightmares.