What kind of birth did you have, what kind of birth did you want and how did it/they make you feel?

[TWIGgerhappy]

I had c-sections.

I always wanted a home-water birth with candles and music. On the flip side I also wanted a hospital birth with every drug available.

In the end I was told at 32 weeks that I would be having a section to preserve my eyesight .. so after a couple of weeks got used to the thought.

I have never had a contraction, nor a braxton hick. I wonder sometimes how I would have coped.

But the births I have had have been wonderful because they have all been about meeting my children. I regret nothing, both of them latched on within the hour .. both of them were given to DH to hold as soon as possible. Both of them are healthy and I can see them both.

I feel empowered at having created 2 discrete human beings. I did that. Nobody else. Without my body they wouldn't be alive. It is amazing.

And you know what, so are you .. whatever kind of birth you had.

So share....

Wanted: active, just G&A, Tens etc.

Got: induction due to PROM with pessary. Monitoring (and need to lie flat on bed as belt kept falling off when I moved). Argument with registrar who wanted to administer Syntocinon drip when I knew the monitoring (sleepy slow baby!) and their tutting and mutterings were stressing me. Eventually was permitted 1h 30 off machine before I would have to give in and have drip - and baby was born within 2 hrs with no intervention, just G&A/Tens.

DS1...I was very laid back in the planning and concluded it couldn't be that bad given that lots of people go through it more than once. Had the usual bad experience...night birth, long early labour, unfriendly night staff, turned away and then returned after scary experience...traumatised afterwards and glad we were both alive.

DS2...dreading it completely. Coped with the early contractions at home and was very calm. Day birth, birthing pool, familiar mid-wife, very painful for the last 6 contractions but I had lots of energy still and felt the amazing experience of a controlled and uncomplicated birth.

It's a combination of so many factors that influence your experience and your frame of mind.

Wanted: Natural birth in hospital with tens, then water and gas and air.

Got: Railroaded into an induction (' we have no spaces left after Tuesday for a week, and by then you would be 2 weeks od...think of all the risks'). Stuck to my 'minimal pain relief' decision, but after 2 1/2 hours of pushing, when contractions vanished, and I had to have a 'high forceps' delivery, I wished for some more pain relief. Tens was switched off, gas and air taken away, and high forceps with no pain relief is NOT FUN. Tbh, I have blanked it out a bit, but I had been quite calm and not particularly loud until then (bit of mooing into the gas and air pipe!), however for that final 5 minutes I screamed the place down. Poor dh was completely traumatized and still wells up when he talks about it. Once dd was out (all 9lbs of her...safe and well) then I had a pph and a retained placenta, so had to have a epidural then (Bit bloody late!!)and was sent into theatre for removal of placenta and 40 stitches.

In retrospect, I firmly believe it was down to the induction process, and had I been left to get on with it I would have done ok. My body was not ready for labour...the mws struggled to get the pessaries in because my cervix was still facing back, and told me that I was no nearer to having the baby than when I started the pregnancy...so perhaps waiting would be good I was physically fine, as was the baby, so shouldn't have been forced. If I have another baby I WILL NOT be railroaded again.

DD was fine, and so was I in the end...which is the main thing.

dd1 - wanted homebirth, as little intervention/pain relief as poss. Got it.
dd2 - wanted same as above - got it.
d?3 - want same as above - ?

I had fears/niggles in the early stages of pregnancy but was fairly relaxed about the whole process. Discovered at 14 weeks that I had a rare condition that can cause miscarriage (lost four babies/three pregnancies prior to this) as well as bringing a risk of premature labour (from 20 wks onward) and a greatly increased risk of post-partum haemorrhage (sp?). Refused to write a birth plan on the grounds that anyone I ever knew who did never got the birth they wanted and that people I knew who wrote obsessively long birth plans (I had one friend who had a plan of 20 pages of A4 and it all went out the window) were even more disappointed because they seemed to get their hopes pinned on it happening 'to order'.

Saw a consultant and discussed idea of an elective section. Decided that was the way to go with the proviso that if I went into early labour I was happy to see how it went. Had a section at 37 weeks under general and things didn't go well for me but had a gorgeous wee boy (although he needed help for the first three days with his breathing).

My husband, who had to wait outside for the 2h45m I was in the operating theatre, had a more traumatic experience than I did. The only thing I think about it was how emotional it was to see my son for the first time. The birth doesn't affect me at all - excpet that I get annoyed when people ask me if I feel a failure or if I think I've missed out on something.

This is a fascinating thread. Mainly because it emphasises how important it is to have the space to talk about and share our birth experiences.

I had two very different birth experiences. For my DS1, I wanted: a home birth with a birthing pool

I got: almost every intervention in the book and an eventual c-section after almost 36 hours. I didn't get a chance to labour properly at home as my waters had broken at onset and hospital policy at that time was after 12 hours if no baby I had to go in for IV antibiotics. The MW terrified me by saying baby would have to have a lumbar puncture if I didn't go in. I've still got it in for her . DS1 was a big baby and not in a great position - I had epidural, so lay on my back for hours, so I can see why everything happened the way it did. Plus the care that I got was pretty good apart from an experience with theatre staff treating me like I was a cadaver after DS1 was born which I would not wish on anyone and haunts me to this day.

I wanted: a VBAC for DS2

I got: A VBAC in hospital. Had a swift labour using g&a. Giving birth vaginally was one of the most amazing experiences of my life which I would readily repeat. It was only hampered by one MW refusing to read my birth plan (even though I had had extensive discussions with my consultant) and just concentrated on the fact that I had had a previous C-section. It totally affected the way she treated me offering me all sorts of medication, just in case they had to whip me into theatre. If there had been any need for any major intervention, I wanted a c-section. I knew it would be riskier for baby and me to have any interventions plus I just couldn't face going through what I went through before.

After DS2, I was told by two MWs that now I could go for a home birth for baby no 3. I'm not going to have another baby, but it made me feel wistful as if I had to prove something to the medical profession to finally get the thing I'd wanted in the very first place.

"Only" 25 hours labour (some of you make that look positively speedy). But I'd imagined a peaceful home birth with one midwife. In fact, I ended up in our local hospital, where it was like giving birth at Heathrow airport - several shifts of midwives, doctors, anaesthetists, trainee midwives, trainee doctors etc. Plus they were cleaning the curtains, so there was just a bush or two between me and the big wide world . Then DS shot out. "Do you want to feed him?" said the doctor, as he sewed me up, tugging at the blood covered thread. "Um, maybe a bit later" (queasily). "Right - off you go and get cleaned up. Turn right, then left, then right again for the shower. Here's a towel to wear." And off I staggered into the hospital maze, all covered in goo. Lovely! Never, ever again. Well, if I were to do it again, I'd try to arrange something different, that's for sure. I'd want to regain that happy pre-hospital illusion that there would be some dignity in labour.

I gave birth 3 months ago to DD... a bit of an epic adventure... waters broke on friday afternoon and no contractions... long story short saturday and sunday passed by with not much action other than extremely wiggly baby trying to get into better position and me spending a lot of time kneeling on bed with bum in the air... luckily i'm not shy! By monday i was getting fed up and wanted baby... had lovely massage from my friend and contractions started to get more painful by about 8pm so i got into my very poncy, heated, jacuzzi style birth pool... went to bed at 10pm and woke at midnight with teeth chattering and mega shakes due to low blood sugar and strength of contractions. Rang my fabulous independent midwife who had been checking me every day... totally relaxed when she arrived and laboured in bed until 5.30am when we decamped downstairs to the pool... lost teh will to live several times and asked for drugs (told i didn't need them as baby would be there soon and of course they were right!) got down to pushing at about 9am tuesday morning and DD was born head to toe in 2 pushes at 10.50am, the first of which fired her out to the waist! DD so relaxed didn't breathe so we calmly got out and MW rubbed her and she gave very small cough and pinked up beautifully. Went to the breast straight away and after 20mins skin to skin, i stood up, coughed and placenta fell out, hten we cut the cord ... was tucked up in bed with DD, DH, 2 cats and honey sandwiches by 2pm.... best thing in the world. I felt so amazing for weeks and my heart nearly pops with pride and pleasure whenever i look at DD... Very lucky i had IMW as local policy is induction after 48hours of ROM if not in labour, also as pushing for 2 hours probably would have ended up with intervention in hospital... DD born looking like alien with pointiest head MW ever seen.... cranial osteopath nearly fell off his perch when i showed him the picks but after 2 treatmetns she has the most perfectly shaped head... she is so chilled out and smiley now... can't wait for number 2!!!

I didn't know with my first what I wanted. I was rushed (I realise now) into choosing my referral without knowing the differences between the hosptial systems- I wish I'd chosen the one with the domino scheme rather than the big city hospital.
I just wanted to be home as long as possible and have a healthy baby.
Had an emergency C-Section after having to wait for a third shift change and a consultant rather than a pair of registrars who wouldn't/couldn't make a decision or take my opinion on board (very frustrating).
Anyway, lovely happy baby who as it turned out had got stuck in my oddly shaped womb.
Because of the calming presence of my family, this birth was a happy one, despite all the problems, having then there helped me focus on the important bit,which was having my son, alive and well and in my arms. Otherwise I think I'd have been a bit traumatised.

Due to oddly shaped womb dd2 born by totally stress free planned section at a different hospital.

Hi all

Had 1st daughter 12 yrs ago retained placenta doc gave cathetar no probs a doddle Ha Ha, 2nd daugther 3yrs ago was induced wouldnt believe me when said I couldnt get in wheekl chair panicked when they looked and started running for lift told dont push had to have Spinal {like epidural but higher}
and manualy removed placenta not shy but hey what is this! was dropppe to floor whilst numb as callipers not fitted correctly and then fell out of bed back in room as no cot sides where in place and had no feeling at all having 3rd and have trained my own Midwife lol. not bothered about niceties just competent staff would be nice.

I never wanted a vag birth. I was terrified I couldn't handle it. MW wouldn't allow me a c/s just for that reason. Then I developed v bad SPD, so bad that I couldnt move and my GP and physio both thought a c/s would be the better option for delivery. MW still didn't allow me a c/s but sent me to consultant who wantetd me to have a trial of labour but wouldn't grant me a c/s straight away. I was very upset after the meeting. The same night my dd (35 weeks then) turned herself breech broke her waters in the process and I had to go to hospital where I got my c/s. Hurrah ! I really really wanted a C/s and I was so happy I got one. The whole experience was lovely and I was so glad it all worked out. I'm still struggling with SPD two years later but my physio, Chiropractor and orthopeadic surgeon all say that I was lucky to get the c/s as I would be in a much worse state had I been forced to give birth vaginally.

Anyhow, I sometimes feel my dd helped me out with this one.

sorry for long post below. I guess the short version is that I wanted a c/s and I got a c/s and I am very happy about that.

Ds1 - no idea what to expect and had a long labour ending in epidural and vag birth. Have quite positive feelings about the whole thing, but the passage of time probably has a lot to do with that (he's now 8)

Dd - oh blimey! Waters broke and nothing happened for 24 hours. Taken into hospital and induced. Very painful quick build up to one huge non stop contraction. Had only dilated to 4cms and couldn't cope with the pain so had an epidural. It didn't work! Twice!! I was being prepared for a c section when they checked me again, and I had gone up to 10 cms. Pushed with all my might for what felt like 10 minutes, could have been longer and Katie was born. Although absolutely agonising, my daughter made everything worth while. And although a bit traumatised afterwards, I feel quite proud that I managed on just air and gas. It's taken 7 months to feel like that though.
Originally wanted a water birth but that was off the cards.

sorry haven't read all thread.

always imagined/hoped for a fairly quick hospital-based water birth with lots of moving around.

Got out of pool before actual delivery but otherwise had exactly what I had hoped for - whole thing only lasted 7.5 hours and I went from 3 cm to 10cm in about 40 minutes. No time for anything but TENS and water, the g&a didn't work in the pool room.

Sadly, it was so fast and terrifying that I loathed it, felt haunted by it and it was a factor in me deciding not to have any more (probably). There you go.

I had two waterbirths with DD and DS. Both truly enjoyable experiences as I arrived in hospital fully dilated for a last dip in the pool for both. Breastfeeding was a bliss both times and a long affair! In fact I liked it so much that I am lobbying for number 3.
I got to attend my best friend's birth and I think my positiveness helped her a lot. I am thinking of becoming a doula as I am really fascinated by birth.

I was induced on a Monday, had a very painful week (Wed was my 21st birthday - which was shit) had my waters broken, had injection thing in my arm - where they popped my vein, had drip thingy, v v v painful contractions, By Friday night I was able to push, pushed and pushed and then was rushed in for emergency C at 3.30am Sat morning. Whole thing was upsetting, painful and worst of all avoidable cause they knew before hand that I probably would not be able to deliver vag. Now I am booked in for a c section in 3 weeks time and I am really scared!!!!!!

i had wanted a controlled birth with a midwife there !
Unfortunately the midwife on the phone at the hospital told me to stay at home until I was 5 minutes apart and then diverted me to a hospital over 20 miles away when I was having contractions at 3 mins apart and was pushing- suffice to say I didnt make it and delivered the baby in the front seat of my husbands car on the motorway with him driving over 90 miles an hour. I can only be thankful both I and my baby were alright. It wasnt easy making an official complaint to the hospital but I felt it was the only way that I could prevent it happening again - they assure me that it wont happen again

I had 3 natural births, without drugs other than entonox, 2 of them in the water. I never wanted candles or music or to be at home. I was lucky, I had good care and I didn't mind that I didn't know any of the midwives beforehand. TENS worked well for me - before I got in the water, obviously. For 3rd baby I chose a local birthing unit to be nearer home and not risk motorway birth.

I didn't care. I don't know what was going on hormonally when I was pregnant but I was chilled about everything in the whole world!!

I was induced at 41+3 because I was showing signs of pre-eclampsia. 9 hours of labour. Loved gas and air, ended up with pethidine which I really didn't want and told them not to offer but they did and I said yes and it did nothing. Got to be in the positions I wanted for the birth, even swinging from the end of the bed at one point. But after two hours of pushing I had a c-section as he wasn't coming out.

Given that ds was 12lb 4oz with little squishy fat on him I ended up being glad I'd had a section because I feared for the fanjo. But feel happy that I got to experience all the pain and the pushing. If I hadn't it probably wouldn't have bothered me at the time, but later I might have felt I had missed out on something.

First birth - had to fight off induction for two weeks, went into labour naturally the night before the morning i had agreed I would be induced. Laboured throughout the night at home - fine - then went into hospital and had a further 12 hours there. Cramped room, seemingly hundreds of people coming in and out all the time. Had not wanted pain relief but had midwives who thought that was a bit daft. At one point, when I was finding it a bit hard going I said so, out loud, and one of the midwives said 'you think this is bad, wait until the contractions are back to back...', at which point I decided to go for an epidural. Baby born 6 hours later. Bad tearing. Took weeks to heal. Was very traumatised. Had horrible flashbacks for weeks afterwards.

Second birth - wanted home birth and got it. Fantastic. 7 hours labour, 2 very supportive midwives who left my husband and I to get on with it. She was born on kitchen floor and 2 hours later I was showered and in my pyjamas drinking tea and eating toast with my husband and son next to me. Perfect. Exhilarating and a much much better start for both of us.

I was induced 10 days after due date, after going in as there was a reduction in baby movements. Had a lot of pain with an epidural that didn't quite work. My body reacted badly to the induction hormones and I ended up having contractions every minute. 13 hours in I started shaking uncontrollably, the baby was showing signs of distress, so I had an emergency c-section.

When they cut me open, the theatre was filled with a grim smell, which was a result of an infection in the amniotic sac which my baby had been swimming in. I then hemorraged (sorry, can't spell it!) and had to have emergency anti biotics and blood transfusion.

Before the birth, I felt positive and excited about the experience.

Left feeling inadequate and like a failure. Working on it, though.

I had 3 normal births, no pain relief, no stitches (dd3 was born at home) and the longest labour of all 3 was 3 hrs.

I felt great, after dd1 and 2 I was up and about straight away, same with dd3 only a little more tired, but then put that down to age

What a lovely positive post. It made me rethink my feelings on my birth of dd.

I planned to have a home birth. After 33hours in labour at home and 9cm dilated I ended up going to hospital, hoping for an epidural with ventouse or forceps. I was told I needed a c-section as the baby was not properly engaged and was face up. I went into theatre with an epidural but could feel the first cut so had to be knocked out completely. Fed dd as soon as I was awake and dh got skin to skin before me. For a long time I felt like my body had failed me and gyped that I didn't get first contact and didn't experience pushing my baby out. The fact that I found it difficult to bf I felt was partially due to lack of initial bonding. I also felt that because I didn't see her come out so to speak, that she could be anyones baby. I had undiagnosed PND looking back.

Now I think well at least I have a happy healthy toddler. I am pg again and really would like a VBAC

Ok Im going to sound thick now but what's a VBAC and a Doula??