With the best intentions, and no disrespect, do you feel woman that have c-sections havent 'properley given birth'?

[CharlotteACavatica]

Do you ever feel you think that way even if you dont mean to??

Charlotte, if you start a thread with such a contentious title, then the mud is bound to be slung at some point as it will be hitting a raw nerve with lots of people. With all the best intentions in the world, a title like that was bound to have upset some of those people who have had to have a C-section and didn't want one.

Try not to take it too personally, some people can get a bit carried away. Have to go now but don´t let this put a damper on your weekend - there are bigger (and better) things to worry about

Put it down as a learning experience...

Charlotte, you are so far out of line it really shouldn't require pointing out.

Had you posed the quest and explain in your OP why you were wondering if people felt this way, the thread would have gon ein another direction. But, you got exactly what you asked for my posting that inexcusably insensitive title. And, since you yourself are a section veteran I dare say you knew exactly what was coming.

This whole thread shouldbe deleted before some more people who have not yet been offended come along to read it.

I had an emergency c-section

I'm not particularly sorry that I missed having a natural childbirth tbh, or the accompanying wizard's sleeve

To answer the question, no because my goal wasn't to have a natural birth experience, it was to have a healthy baby and that's exactly what I had.

But Charlotte what were you trying to achieve by starting a thread on such a sensitive subject? It was never going to go down well.

CS are done for all sorts of reasons and mothers have them for all sorts of reasons....you don't need me to tell you that. But what maybe you don't know is they don't need such a insensitve question being posed on a public forum. No-one is going to rationally debate this with you.

I don't know if you are new to mumsnet but many conversations are started in order to get a firery response, for a laugh, to watch the reaction....I don't think that's you but I can understand why some mumsnetters have taken offence. (It was my initial reaction)

I don't think you are a freak, but maybe a little naive? (sp )

LadySnotAlot - this is my point!! what nerve am i hitting?? the reason i started this thread is that this 'nerve' exhists!! - far more so than some people realise, the fact that you say i shouldnt of brought it up because it hits a nerve is a total contradiction to my WHOLE point!!!

Yes sunshine

My birth plan page said
"have a baby"

I had a c-section last time due to preeclampsia and in this pregnancy have just been diagnosed with rare placenta problem which means labour would be potentially fatal for me and the baby. So its another c-section for me.

Have no issues about never having "laboured" at all but I have to say I do have the odd otherwise sensible friend who asks me if I feel cheated. Nope.

I had an emergency c-section that I was quite happy with. As long as mum and baby are alive and well thats all that matters.
Still got piles and an anal fissure too FFS [annoyed emoticon]

Although I did once e-mail my NCT c-section people to ask what excercises are best after the op and they didn't have a clue which I found a bit useless. I wonder if they are purely set up to help women who weren't happy with the experience .

McDreamy i started BECAUSE it was a sensitive subject, in my area i was down as having the longest labour for about 2 years, my labour lasted 53 hours in total and it ended up with a very horrific emergency c-section, and several long months of recovery and a good couple of yearsof depression about it all, i thought i was on my own with that notion until i first got talking to other mums and now 7 years later i hear of people who think of c-sections being this 'not proper birth', i wondered how many poeple felt like this and how many people shared such thoughts either intentionally or not!

FWIW I think that you have been given a disproportionate response to a badly phrased question. This has raised some very interesting points and could have been a really interesting discussion but it has undoubtably been marred by feelings running highly.
Unfortunately you have raised peoples hackles by refusing to understand how your phrasing could be misconstrued.
If you had come back and said 'oh I'm really sorry I diddn't mean to offend' folk would have been a bit more sympathetic.
Just forget about it Charlotte, it was a good idea for a thread, it just went pear shaped

Charlotte, I didn't say you shouldn't bring it up. Just that inevitably bringing it up would hit a raw nerve somewhere.

I had 2 c-sections. I can sort of see the point you are trying to make (see my first post) but it won't sit well with everyone. That was it.

Charlotte you have been lynched because you have started a thread designed to make people feel inadequate. You have clearly demonstrated by the thread title that you are aware that this is the case.

Sorry to hear your awful experience, doesn't sound good

I can understand what you are trying to say and discuss but IMHO maybe you approached it the wrong way (is that stating the obviuos ....hindsight and all that)

The trouble with internet forums I find is that it is really hard to get emotion across and I think it was easy to read your title as quite inflammatory. I read you title and op and WRONGLY assumed your were someone who had not had a CS and I apologise

I knew it would hit a nerve - it used to with me, it still does a little, but i dont think telling me to f**k off and calling me a freak and many many many many many more was neccessary, anyway more fool me for thinking mumsnet was the sort of place i could bring 'childbirth matters' up.

Oh no way was a thread with a title like this NOT going to go tits up, I assume it has from the 200+ posts

People who say with the best intentions and no disrespect ALWAYS then go on to say somethng outrageously insulting ime

have only read OP and thread title

A thread title cant make people feel inadequate CD, unless of course they already feel that way, in which case it wont have helped im sure.

ok so if it hit a nerve with you do you not think you might have taken a more empathetic approach

Eg just adding "because I have in the past but am now starting to come to terms with it. Is this a common feeling amongst people who have had C-sections?"

Instead your post sounded confrontational and aggressive

In answer to the OP... NO How very, very insulting.

It is not a competition . I can't say I give a rats arse how other women have given birth and why should you care?

Yes good gcse psychology comment there

c-sections save lives ffs

Thanks McDreamy, i appreciate that.