With the best intentions, and no disrespect, do you feel woman that have c-sections havent 'properley given birth'?

[CharlotteACavatica]

Do you ever feel you think that way even if you dont mean to??

Not read whole thread, but wantded to add my bit..
I had ds by cs, due to foetal distress. Never occurred to me to be unhappy about that outcome until questions like the OP. The mw's and dr's kept me informed all the way through, ever felt out of control in any way. Yet the local NCT wifies felt it totally within their rights to ask lots of questions implying that i'd been pressured into a cs by the hospital staff!
In my experience, it is this kind of thing that makes women feel that they've not given birth "properly".
FWIW, I then had dd naturally, but found my recovery in some aspects slower than my recovery from the cs - it's just horses for courses and sometimes the luck on the day.

Yeah maybe LilBloodRedWantsGore!! I started this thread hot off the debate from kids club - maybe my note to self should be: in future take 2 minutes to fire up brain before typing! Was just very wound up by things and needed other input...

I've had 2 inductions and to a certain extent feel that I didn't do it "properly". Silly, I know but I sort of wanted that "waters breaking in Sainsburys or holding hands with dh timing contractions" experience.

It's all because we have such EXPECTATIONS for childbirth which is stupid because childbirth is inherently unpredictable.

Once they're out they're out and it don't make any difference how they got out.

not at all

Having said that I had a conversation with a friend whose only DC was a c-section along these lines:
"What?! You can't sneeze in public??!"
Me: "Only if I cross my legs first".
Her: "Oh, I never had any problems like that".
Me: "Well, you wouldn't have, would you (moron)"

Do I feel as if I haven't given birth even though I have 2 healthy dds just because I didn't pass them through my vagina? no - I grew them in my own body, I went through lots of hospital intervention, without which both of them and me would have died

It's like asking if I feel like I haven't had a good Sunday lunch if I didn't have ROast Beef and Yorkshire Pud! I would have still cooked it myself; still made my family happy by cooking them something lovely and we'd all feel full up afterwards.

fs - believe me in the first few days/weeks after a c section you CANNOT sneeze anywhere, not just in public! I felt like any sudden movement like thatw ould have ripped me back open!

Take your point, but her DS is 11!

i dont feel i properly gave birth to ds4 but im not at all upset about it, i dont feel inferior for having a cs.

he was a crash section undiagnosed breech, was going to have a home water birth so couldnt have been further from the plan! after ambulance to hospital i was put under ga and handed a baby when i woke up. i was in labour for about 27 hours before he was born but the actual birth bit i wasnt conscious for so i didnt experience it. the mw all crept round me like i shoud have been really upset but i was perfectly happy with the whole thing. i didnt have time to take in what they were telling me so i couldnt make any decisions i just got swept along by it all.

my 1st 3 were normal vb so i can compare, and while ds3 was brilliant i didnt enjoy ds1 or ds2s birth and i can imagine a 10lb breech birth not being much fun so i dont really think i have any reason to be upset.

lol, couldnt sneeze for several weeks after ds4 was born but can sneeze without crossing my legs even after 3vb. pelvic floor excersises m'dear!

I've had three sections already. The first two I was induced and labored for nearly 14 hours each time before I was given a c-section. I felt like a failure at first because I felt that their was something wrong with me. Most of my friends had all delivered naturally. As long as the baby is delivered safely and healthy, what does it matter I say. With the third I didn't get a choice It was an elective section.

I was actually talking to a mum today at a toddler group and she said for her first ds she had to have an emergency c-section at 9cm dilated and 12 hours of labour. She said at first she refused as she really didn't want a caesarean, but her consultant told her 'if you don't your baby could die'. I said to her that that was a bit blunt, but she said she really needed to hear it to put things in perspective. It doesn't matter how your child is born, you are still a mother and you have still given birth. So that's a definite NO from me!

Not a brilliantly worded title but worth discussing all the same. Never duck the tough subjects, knowledge is power and all that.

My Dsis would only get so far dilated and would then be given a c-section. She had 3 of them and was always disappointed not to finish the job herself. Her boys are now aged 10 and 12 and I doubt she gives a toss anymore. But it was important at the time. But that seems to be true of most births that don't go according to plan.

I have had 3-sections, including 1 unsucessful attempt at a VBAC and it is a real regret (possibly the only one) of mine that I have not given birth vaginally.

I get so pissed off however when woman who had had a vaginal birth describe the great feeling of achievement, love and pride on giving birth- the innuedo that only if you birth vaginally do you have this feeling, like in some way there are no emotions involved in a c-section. As thou' you are not particiapting in the process. It is demeaning to all woman who need or indeed want a c-section. I was over-whelmed with emotion on the birth of all of my children.

[Now I will read the thread, find out all hell has broken loose and people are currently posting pictures of rusty prams again.....]

Well for me, when the contractions kicked in big time it was a case of 'get this thing outta me' by whatever means possible.

Maybe I'm not really married cos I didn't have a big white dress or do it in church.

This was always going to be a contentious thread somewhat in the vein of bf/ff threads.

Hmm, sometimes I feel like I've missed out because I couldn't give birth naturally. But then the reality is I'd be dead if I hadn't had a c-section so one cancels the other out!

Pesky, have just started a deep and meaningful relationship with a piece of white plastic with sensors and wires that can do ALL SORTS of things!

Am I getting off topic, here?

The dcs are were conceived via IVF and born via c/section.

I still struggle to understand how any woman can become unintentionally pg. Of course I know the theory(), but whenever a friend mutters "Shit, I think I might be late" it just doesn't emotionally make sense - I really cannot imagine finding myself pg by surprise, or even as a result of having sex. So I guess I have a very abnormal experience of conception, having seen both dcs at 5 and 7 cells respectively.

But in terms of birth on the other hand, I feel that I have defintiely experienced birth. I know the sensations of anticipation, the worry about whether it is progressing somoothly, the sense of denial during transaction, the joy of producing the baby that has been hidden within. I occasionally wonder how my fanjo would be if I had delivered naturally (ds1's head circumference was above the 99th centile!), but I have no doubt as to the fact that I have given birth.

To the op....Thanks for that....really made my day!

Ok whatever McDreamy, your welcome dont mention it.

I had DD naturally - she popped out easily. And if I'm honest, when friends of mine had C-sections, a little part of me thought that they hadn't had the same 'real birth' experience I'd had. Fool that I was.

Then I had DD2 by elective C-section, as she was stuck in breech position. And I realised that although it is a totally different experience, it was actually a darn sight tougher then my very easy first birth. The pain, the recovery, the healing - much, much harder. Particularly watching someone else look after your newborn while you lie their being stitched up for half an hour. And not being able to stand up and change nappies, etc immediately, was tough.

But like for like, they still both had that amazing moment when you hear/see your child for the first time, and gosh, here's me getting all teary-eyed about both just remembering.

It ain't just about pushing it out, is it? That's just a means to an end. It's about meeting your baby for the first time, in whatever circumstances.

I wonder what would have happened if i had come on here and started a thread as insulting as alot of you have been towards me?

With or without the best of intentions are you trying to start a fight?

Go troll off somewhere else.
And learn to spell while you are at it

Fantastic, supportive OP.

Your question is stupid

I have reported this as it serves no purpose and is only going to cause upset to those who have had sections and desperately wanted a vaginal delivery.

Ignore her and she may go away.

What utter bollocks

What kind of weirdo even entertains an idea like that?

Freak

fuck off,

I COULD obviously keep going for a while on this, all these insults because of my thread about C-sections and maybe not a very tactful title, and apparently im the 'freak'!! hmmmm

I had an emergency cs because DS's heartbeat dropped to 5 beats a minute & it took me weeks to recover. I only started to feel as though I "failed" when I started to feel better. Then I pulled myself together & realised how bloody lucky I was to have my healthy son in my arms & that without a cs he wouldn't be here.

BTW Charlotte I don´t think you´re a freak or any other of the horrible things people have said. It was only a question after all - some people are just prone to get more wound up than others. You must have realised you'd have come in for some slack though.

I did Soph73 yeah, to be honest i thought some people may be sensitive about the subject, as i myself have been, but i had no idea people would respond with such personel insults, apparently nobody should be bothered about how you have your baby, so i guess ive been lynched for nothing!