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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

I didn't know I was in labour?!?

135 replies

FluffyFlowerFace · 30/10/2017 22:24

I had my ds at 34 +4 weeks. On the Monday i felt like I had a temperature. I picked up then had period cramps on Thursday. On Friday I started with period cramps but no back or leg pain at midnight. The pain continued but it wasn't unbearable. I passed some blood at 2pm went to hospital and was 8cm. Had him at 6pm. Why wouldn't I know I was in labour?

OP posts:
Original poster
FluffyFlowerFace · 31/10/2017 01:16

What if I manage to get pregnant again and go even earlier?

OP posts:
underthebluemoon · 31/10/2017 01:17

Why not? Are there other circumstances or just in case s/he might be early too?

Original poster
FluffyFlowerFace · 31/10/2017 01:18

I have pcos so getting pregnant wasn't easy and we couldn't have another baby born earlier.

OP posts:
ferrier · 31/10/2017 01:18

I didn't know either. At 31 wks I called the GP (pre 111 or whatever it is!) and he came round Shock Took me to hospital and DD was born two hours later.

underthebluemoon · 31/10/2017 01:18

But you might go to 40 weeks.
Are you feeling okay in yourself?

ferrier · 31/10/2017 01:20

And she's absolutely fine. At a top uni and likely to get a first.

Original poster
FluffyFlowerFace · 31/10/2017 01:21

Physically I'm well but mentally not so. I'm on flueoxtine

OP posts:
underthebluemoon · 31/10/2017 01:24

I have to log off but please get reassurance from your midwife and talk things over.

LadyFarnborough · 31/10/2017 01:27

Is he out of hospital and home with you?
Please don’t stress yourself out googling risks and research. The majority of premature babies will have caught up with their birth date peers by the age of one and have no lasting effects.
For me, I found the early milestones like smiling and laughing were a bit slow to happen but he was way ahead of others when it came to crawling and standing.
And if you have another pregnancy, you will be closely monitored.
Was your placenta and womb swabbed to check for any infection? Worth checking with your GP or MW.
And if you feel quite anxious about it all, do speak to your MW or HV. I had a lovely HV in the early days who had also had a prem baby and was very understanding of how I felt.

LookImAHooman · 31/10/2017 07:35

Fluffy, did you talk to a HCP yet re having started fluoxetine? At this stage I really think the best thing you can do for your MH is talking to people. Did you tell your MW/HV how you’ve been feeling? Flowers

MaitlandGirl · 31/10/2017 08:22

Fluffy my youngest (17) was born at 37 weeks but on delivery it was decided she was more likely to be 35 weeks. She weighed 4lbs 12oz at delivery and has dropped to 4lbs 2oz when she was discharged 5 days later.

In terms of her health she’s fine, some issues but absolutely nothing relating to being early. Academically she’s doing great - top classes for all her subjects and hopefully heading to uni in 2019 to study to be a drama/history teacher.

She’s fairly slim (uk size 6/8) and very tall (about 5ft 10) and eats like a horse. She still thinks she’s a tiny baby and eats every 2 hours!

She was a bit slow meeting her targets (didn’t stand until she was 12mths old) but she had 2 older siblings so had them running around after her all the time and didn’t need to do anything for herself.

I hope your little boy is home with you soon and that you’re able to relax and start to feel more confident/comfortable with him.

Please talk to a HCP about how you’re feeling and try not to worry too much. Regardless of how your son does in later years he’s still your perfect little boy. Flowers

ApplesTheHare · 31/10/2017 09:29

Fluffy please talk to your health visitor, partner, family and friends about how you're feeling. Baby blues are tough and there's always something to beat yourself up about so the best thing you can do for you and your baby is to learn how to handle that. Sending hugs, having babies is hard workFlowers

Gunpowder · 31/10/2017 09:31

It sounds like you think it was your fault he was early Fluffy. It really wasn’t! Baby’s almost always determine when we go into labour (they produce a hormone that sends a message to our uterus to start contracting) and you couldn’t have prevented it, even if you’d known.

Do you think a birth debrief with your MW might help. I hope you talk to someone IRL.

Try not to google all the scary things about preemies, outcomes are far better than they were years ago. Take each day at a time. Again it’s not your fault. Flowers

Original poster
FluffyFlowerFace · 31/10/2017 09:55

My placenta wasn't sent for histology and no swabs were taken. I should be happy he's here but I'm worried for his future. Life is hard for kids who don't fit in for whatever reason

OP posts:
Youcanstayundermyumbrella · 31/10/2017 09:59

OP, you sound like you're in shock, which isn't uncommon in fast births, and perhaps suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Please talk to your midwife about this, urgently, and also to your HV when you meet them. One thing that can be done is a debrief of your birth with a senior midwife, who will look at your notes and talk you through what happened. She will answer all your questions about your child's birth and its implications for any future labours and births the very best she can.

sparechange · 31/10/2017 10:00

This happened to a friend of mine...
She was at her first NCT class and they were talking about braxton hicks, and she asked the teacher if they could be the reason her bump had gone all hard.
The NCT teacher (ex-midwife) had a quick feel and said yes, she was having a braxton hicks right then and that's why it felt tight but not painful.

She happened to have a midwife appointment the next day and mentioned to them how she had been having lots of braxton hicks and would this carry on.

The midwife asked to have a feel and listen, and then asked to examine her
She was 6cm and the baby was a footling breech.
She was admitted and rushed straight up to theatre and her son was delivered by EMCS, weighing 4lbs

The son is now 10, plays rugby, is spot on with all his developmental targets and is a really lovely boy

She went on to have a second baby a couple of years later, and he was a couple of weeks early, but they monitored very closely in the second pregnancy and gave her a cervical stitch

namechangedtoday15 · 31/10/2017 10:21

Fluffy - I think you're suffering from the shock / after effects of an unexpected birth.

I also think you need to understand what putting the term "premature" into Google means. The risks about development that you've found on the internet are unlikely to be describing babies born at 34 weeks, they will be about very early babies. It may seem early to you but medically, it's not. Even having given birth at 27 weeks and 5 days, I was told my babies weren't "very early" and they just had to stay in hospital to "feed and grow".

They were checked by the neonatal staff (as outpatients) for just under 2 years and then signed off as not needing to be seen. They're 12 now, both scored in the top 1% of children with their SATS scores at the end of primary school and both passed for super selective grammar schools. Both represent their school at sports, socially have lots of friends etc etc. Just happy, normal, bright children.

I have since gone on to have another baby who arrived at 39 weeks and 6 days. No problems in respect of prematurity at all.

I think you need to speak to someone to work through your feelings. You really don't have to worry at this stage and you shouldn't let the birth spoil your enjoyment of having a new baby. Best wishes Flowers

Roomba · 31/10/2017 10:55

It's very shocking and confusing when you give birth early and unexpectedly, OP. I know exactly how you feel as I felt the same when DS1 arrived at 34 weeks (he was 5lb 0oz). For months I wished I could go back in time and have him again so I could experience it properly and do it differently somehow - I even wanted another baby asap so I could do it 'right' next time! All I can advise it talk to people, tell everyone how you are feeling, and ask for help. It does help to have a debrief so you can understand what happened, when and why.

I also spent many hours reading about the effects of prematurity on babies. I was convinced DS would have everything from eczema to autism. He's 12 this weekend and has always been incredibly healthy (chickenpox and a few sick bugs ever, that's it, touch wood), he's very able academically and he towers over me! My nephew was born at 26 weeks, he was 1lb 3oz and is very healthy and well aged 8 now. He was very very ill after birth, but other than being the smallest in his class you would never know now. Remember that many babies are born prematurely because they have health issues, the early delivery didn't create the issues. And the vast majority will catch up quickly.

Original poster
FluffyFlowerFace · 31/10/2017 12:13

I almost feel sorry for him and I don't know why it's ridiculous. I worry he's going to be taken from me or he's going to have a shit life

OP posts:
Youcanstayundermyumbrella · 31/10/2017 14:56

Please talk to your midwife about how you're feeling. It's not uncommon to feel depressed after giving birth and worrying about your child's health and your own parenting happens a lot, but it's a sign that you need someone to talk to.

rogueantimatter · 31/10/2017 15:07

Yes. Please talk to your midwife, GP or HV.

I felt very similar to you at this stage even though my baby went to full term. I think I was very shocked after having an EMC and I felt I was an inadequate mum. I also thought my baby new that it had taken me a few days to bond with her and that she didn't like me. I felt sorry for my baby too.

The shock of your unexpected labour and the delivery, hormones, sleep deprivation; it's horrific.

I had what I thought was just backache, which turned out to be labour with my second baby. The births were so different from each other. As were the babies.

Very best wishes. It will get easier.

Booagain · 31/10/2017 15:16

My friend was born early and was 3lbs,2! He’s 32 now and absolutely fine in every respect.
I think you’re in the 2 week hormonal slump. It’ll get easier, don’t worry!
And huge congrats! I had a horrific birth first time around so I’d much rather have had yours! 😂

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 31/10/2017 15:20

My cousin's baby was born at 29 weeks weighing less than 2 pounds.
He is now a sturdy 20 year old with no discernable problems.

Your baby might well be ok, later problems are not inevitable.

Be kind to yourself and enjoy your little one

LurkingQuietly · 31/10/2017 15:41

Ah, OP, I went into hospital at 41+3 days to be induced and nearly fell off the bed when they told me I was in Labour and was 5cm dilated. It happens. I had absolutely no idea. Be kind to yourself.

namechangedtoday15 · 31/10/2017 18:48

OP give yourself time. As lots of pp have said, a birth is often traumatic even if it's at term, and being a new mum is overwhelming - that fierce protection and wanting everything to be perfect. See if you can arrange to speak to someone, a midwife maybe, particularly if you still feel like this in a couple of weeks. It's ok to feel overwhelmed but feeling like your baby will be taken away from you or will have a shit life because they were 5 weeks early is not rational or reasonable when you've had chance to recover from the birth.