I'm scared to give birth. Should I have an Elective C-section?

[Sazzamac1983]

I am only 6 weeks pregnant. I have always been worried about giving birth and have been a birth partner for my sister.

I am pretty comfortable with operations - I've had a few General Anaesthetics in the past and had to have a D and C last year for miscarriage.

I have always thought I would get a C-section as my worry about severe tears, forceps etc is a little overwhelming.

I would love some advice from anyone out there who has had both a VB and a CS.

What is the worst thing and the best thing about each?

After having a c section, I would never chose to have one if there was a viable alternative. The recovery from a normal birth versus a normal section is so far apart.
Fear shouldn't stop you having a normal birth, your midwife can recommend reading and counselling to help.
After my section I was immobil and on morphine, and when I had to get up to walk for a wee after about 28 hours, I felt like ,y insides were going to fall out and the bleeding was awful. And my bits still felt sore, which is insane, I know.

i gave birth vaginally to my son, had a shower, walked to the phone etc
then the next day i went home
the day after that i went to john lewis to buy babygrows

not every birth is horrid
most are not

i would spend some time on coming to peace with the idea of giving birth-ask people for positive stories about their births, do some positive preparation.

the births of my two sons were , without a doubt, the most exciting days of my life.

I had both, a CS for breech birth and then a VBAC - Would go with the VB every time, BUT I had no fear of either way.

Main thing for me was that with hindsight recovery time was much quicker - straight out of hospital back home within a day (and that was with forceps and a couple of stitches) just seemed so easy by comparison.

Lack of mobility straight after a C section was a bind, needing a catheter etc - this was 16 years ago though, so things may have moved on since then.

Thanks for the advice

I think I'm a wuss with pain and presume I would get an epidural which I know leads to more interventions.
The problem is im a hairdresser and I hear every birth horror story going.

I am diligent in that I would prepare and possibly use an Epi-No and even invest in a private midwife etc to manage it as best I can....

I just have spent the last 15 years fearing the day that a baby come out of my vagina....

.

I think I'm just too scared....

Thansk so much for your advice! It's good to hear that not all Birtha are bad!

I had a elective cs due to fear of birth and it was brilliant. Felt in control of the whole experience as I knew exactly what was going to happen which was the source of a lot of my anxiety. Recovery was fast, I felt completely back to normal within a few days. Every birth/recovery is different- you can't say recovery is always faster from a vb as it's actually longer for a lot of people if you don't have a straight forward birth. I think you need to do a lot of research into the facts/risks of all options and maybe speak to some people who've had a good vb if all you've heard is horror stories. If you decide an elcs is the way to go there are a lot of threads on here giving good advice on how to go about asking for one- It's not always completely straight forward.

I'd discuss it with your midwife asap op. There's no such thing as an elective c section in my area, unless you've had one previously.

I had an elective by choice and it was the best decision I ever made.
Was up out of bed same day, catheter out, washed, and helped the nurse change my bed. Was discharged 48 hours later.

Research your options and be clear about the risks of all methods of delivery, not just a section. My midwives weren't keen but Consultant was happy enough once we'd chatted about things. I was asked to speak with a Consultant midwife separately also, but again, once we'd talked, she'd no objections.

Some hospitals do enhanced recovery from a c section, so you get up nice and quickly. I had a spinal for my vaginal birth (which is what you have for a section) and it wore off before I even wanted to get up and walk around, so that was brill :)

I had a 3c tear from my vaginal birth but it was a brilliant birth (40 mins long), great experience! I'm having a c section this time as I had a year long recovery - I'll take the 6 weeks from a c section over that any day! But, I feel v positive about my vaginal birth too :)

I won't say there's nothing to worry about, because you feel what you feel, but a positive vaginal birth isn't an unusual thing :) I definitely recommend hypnobirthing in order to help get your anxieties in order!

I would suggest some councilling first for your worries. This may work brilliantly for you.

If it doesn't it will help your case in arguing for an elective section.

I had an elective section for maternal choice and it was fab. Up and about a few hours post op, off painkillers completely within a few days, walked a mile to the pub for lunch day 5, back driving within a fortnight. I won't be having any more children but if I did, I wouldn't hesitate for a minute to have another section.

Sorry to hijack but welsh - to drive after 2 weeks, did your GP sign you off? I'm just keen to do that (nursery runs) and wonder how it works re. insurance?

I am having a c section in September due to exactly this reason.

You should have one if you want to.

I have had two sections but the recovery was completely different. First time round (baby was breech) I was out gently shopping at the supermarket four days later and packed up a house to move across the country within six weeks. Second time and now, nine months later, my back still hurts and my scar area is painful but the surgeon did cut through all the blood vessels to my uterus and I needed a blood transfusion. Just like with a vaginal birth, the recovery from a section can hugely vary. Read up and make the right decision for you and your baby. Good luck.

I had an epidural and no interventions, small episiotomy that healed fine, no tears, home the same day as the birth.

bendy in common with all other surgery, there is no set period that you can't drive for after a section. You need to be comfortable wearing a seatbelt and doing an emergency stop. That time obviously varies hugely between different women so a blanket rule would be silly. You don't need to be signed off by anyone.

I had a fairly traumatic birth with ds1. I refused to even consider getting pregnant again unless I knew for certain I could have an elcs. I spoke to a midwife pre getting pregnant and she said in my circumstances I 'should' be able to have an elcs (there were physical reasons as well as emotional). However, a consultant wouldn't confirm until I was 36weeks pregnant.

I knew I couldn't spend my pregnancy worrying about not being allowed an elcs. Also ds1 was born at 35 weeks so there was a good chance I wouldn't even make consultants appointment. I ended up going private and it was all confirmed that I'd have elcs at booking in appointment. The recovery was a lot harder than vaginal birth and that was despite having a vaginal prolapse with ds1.

I think on NHS you are allowed to request a cs but it's not guaranteed. Would going private be an option? Are there any physical concerns you have about vaginal birth or is it just worries about complications?

@BendydickCuminsnatch my insurance company allow you to drive straight after a c section as long as you say you feel well enough. Their policy purely says that you must not drive against a doctor's orders. I was quite incredulous when they told me I could drive as soon as I felt fit but I suspect if I crashed they would say I hadn't made a responsible decision but maybe I am cynical.

I was the most terrified pregnant woman ever when I had dd nearly 14 years ago. If they had offered me a section I would have absolutely took it. I felt ill at the thought. Even when labour started I was adamant I would be having an epidural the lot. Especially when they told me they didn't think I was progressing much and they might want to break my waters. If this was what it was like when I wasn't progressing then I was never going to cope when it really ramped up. When the midwife examined me she found me nearly fully dilated and too late for an epidural even if I begged for one.

I am not going to lie and say it wasn't painful it was but it also wasn't the horror story so many people seemed to delight in telling me all through pregnancy. Between contractions I felt absolutely normal and was happily chatting away to the midwife and even had a bit of a laugh. I went on to have 2 more babies one of them a home birth and after my first labour I became terrified of a section. I was up and about walked from labour suite to the ward afterwards and felt fantastic.

Talk to your midwife about your fears and the pros and cons for both options. I know in my area they would send you to a counsellor before they would agree to an elective caesarean because an elective caesarean just doesn't exist unless you've had one before.

You've really done your research if at six weeks you're clued up on the Epi-No!

Sorry to hear about your mc. They are shit and bend your brain out of shape. I had a mmc, then D&C and was all over the place for a week, exhausted and just ill.

In comparison recovery from CS was a doddle. They had me up and shuffling about 12 hours after the event and I did everything the advice says and recovered really well and promptly.

I'm going for a VBAC this time though; only because we want a third and to reduce any risks associated with repeat sections.

if no baby by week 41 then it's CS time.

This is all down to frank discussion with my consultant. Please talk to your midwife as a first point of contact but if you feel fobbed off then press to meet your consultant.

Wishing you the best x

I had an emergency CS, and will do everything in my power to have a VBAC. I found the recovery from a CS very hard, unable to even lift a cup down from a cupboard 2 weeks after, no driving for 5 weeks, couldn't lift the car seat for 6 weeks. Even the drive home from the hospital was horrendous (turns out you use your abs for everything!).
I was really surprised how hard it was, which is ignorant/naive really as it is someone cutting your stomach open.
I can't speak for the actual cs itself as my spinal didn't work so I was under General. But other posters have had good experiences of that bit by the looks.

@Sazzamac1983 I had the very same problem, also a hairdresser and every ghoulish client that came in wanted to tell me their horror story. I had an emcs following a 12 hour labour, honestly I wish I could have giver birth vaginally for the recovery, as pp have said not every birth is a horror story and even with the section at the end mine was fine! I recovered really well and pretty quick. Wait and see what happens when baby is ready to be born, congrats and good luck

Oh and I forgot to mention I was PETRIFIED of giving birth (anxiety disorder in the past), and hynobirthing took me from being an absolute state to actually looking forward to it. It's nothing to do with hypnotherapy as the name would suggest (well mine wasn't), but it made me feel calm, empowered and informed.

I can imagine the stories you hear at work. But a very sensible midwife pointed out to me that only the bad stories get repeated. Through my first pregnancy I was doing classes at night school with a bloke who produced another birth horror story every week. The fact is the vast majority of births go well but those stories don't make for such "entertaining" anecdotes. A friend of mine who was very afraid of birth trained herself in hypnobirthing and found that very helpful. I remember walking heavily pregnant with my first through crowds of people in Trafalgar Square and thinking "every one of these people came out of their mother somehow". During labour itself I focussed on how exciting it was that I was finally going to meet my baby. Each contraction was one step closer. It does hurt, but there are worse pains. Good Luck x

Recovery from a section is often not as terrible as you might expect with abdominal
surgery because they don't actually cut through any muscles when they do a section, although there can be a fair amount of bruising from the stretching of the incision.

Can I recommend that you invest in some hypnotherapy for birthing? It is extremely effective. Seems a shame you would rather have major abdominal surgery than a perfectly normal event, but I understand your fear. Look for a practitioner who is specifically trained in this area. You will find it really helpful.