I'm scared to give birth. Should I have an Elective C-section?

[Sazzamac1983]

I am only 6 weeks pregnant. I have always been worried about giving birth and have been a birth partner for my sister.

I am pretty comfortable with operations - I've had a few General Anaesthetics in the past and had to have a D and C last year for miscarriage.

I have always thought I would get a C-section as my worry about severe tears, forceps etc is a little overwhelming.

I would love some advice from anyone out there who has had both a VB and a CS.

What is the worst thing and the best thing about each?

I had a straight forward vaginally delivery and recovery took a lot longer than a section. I couldn't sit without pain for 3 weeks, couldn't walk for 3 days as was in too much pain. I'm now 8 months postpartum and dealing with prolapse as my daughter's huge head took some of my pelvic floor with her. It's also a very common injury, 1 in 3 women will tear at least some of their pelvic floor off their bones, it happens when the baby is crowning. Not trying to scare you, but women need to be told of the risks of vaginal deliveries as well as section.

In my NCT group there were nine of us. Two had sections and seven had vaginal deliveries. Two of those who had a vaginal delivery are still seeing consultants and physios for after care due to such bad tears. A vaginal birth is not always the easy recovery option.

The general rule is that straightforward VB is easier to recover from, for most women, than ELCS. However, a VB doesn't have to be particularly unstraightforward to be a harder recovery than a typical ELCS. Like obviously if you have an induction followed by failed forceps followed by a crash section, that's going to be rougher on you than an ELCS, but equally so might a stop and start, long natural labour of a back to back baby.

So you think carefully about your own risk factors. If you're 24 and have a BMI of 21, you're more likely to have a straightforward VB than you are if you're 39 and obese. As you're 35, your chances of a straightforward VB are lower than they would be if you were younger, but equally it would still be a realistic hope if everything else about you and your pregnancy were straightforward.

The fact that you feel as you do about VB is potentially a complicating factor too. There is a reason the NHS will allow ELCS on MH grounds.

I will say, though, that however you give birth, there is a very realistic chance of you not being fit to work again after 6 weeks. Sorry, but there just is. Again you'd only have to be a bit unlucky even with an ELCS. A minor infection for example. Is there any way you can save harder now to be able to take slightly longer? Even another month? At 6 weeks most of us are still in the fog. Whereas things have sort of lifted a bit by 10 weeks.

Hi OP.

I had an elective c section - was due to have a vaginal birth right up until the last minute as I was induced because of reduced movement.

I was so terrified of something going wrong - as in I wouldn't be able to control breathing or pain or be in control of how the labour progressed that I got myself so unwell mentally in the lead up to my sons birth, that by the second day of my (failed) induction I broke down to the night shift midwife and begged for a section. I wasn't worried about the pain level or being afraid to push, I was simply worried after all the anxiety surrounding my sons reduced movement that something would go wrong and I would forever blame myself.

That midwife was brilliant, and I spoke to my consultant who got me in for a section the next day. Although post natal treatment was bad and I was made to feel as if I was a nuisance for requesting something I'm allowed to, I couldn't fault the pre natal treatment and the surgeons themselves. I healed very quickly and I brought my beautiful son home perfect. The consultant had a chat with me afterwards and said my son was so high up that an induction/vaginal delivery would have ended up in a section anyway due to his position and the length of my cervix - so I made a good decision, as I was so afraid I would lose him due to panicking during delivery.

You can request a section on mental health grounds if your anxiety is elevated enough to effect you. No delivery is the same and some people find c sections awful to recover from, but some people also have slow recoveries from vaginal births.

Best wishes

Completely agree with WankYouForTheMusic.
It's very easy to underestimate how demanding looking after a newborn is. Feeding every 2 hours with 1 hour sleep in between (if that) is extremely tiring.
And to be honest, most new mums I know encountered one issue or other. Either to do with the baby (jaundice, birth mark or simply crying too much) or themselves (infection, stitches, coccyx pain).
And if you believe you'll be able to get baby into a routine before 3 months (a little earlier for some babies), I'd rethink and ditch Gina Ford.

Plenty of people go back to work after 6 weeks, just not in the UK. In the US, it's normal to be back at work at that point. I went back full time at 16 weeks, but could have gone back a lot earlier. In terms of c section recovery, I'd have been fine by 6 weeks, in terms of sleep and routine then 10 weeks would have been better, but I'd have managed if I'd had to.

smellsofelderberries (great name btw )
"women need to be told of the risks of vaginal deliveries as well as section."
Completely agree with this.