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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

I'm scared to give birth. Should I have an Elective C-section?

82 replies

Sazzamac1983 · 16/07/2017 15:23

I am only 6 weeks pregnant. I have always been worried about giving birth and have been a birth partner for my sister.

I am pretty comfortable with operations - I've had a few General Anaesthetics in the past and had to have a D and C last year for miscarriage.

I have always thought I would get a C-section as my worry about severe tears, forceps etc is a little overwhelming.

I would love some advice from anyone out there who has had both a VB and a CS.

What is the worst thing and the best thing about each?

OP posts:

AnneElliott · 16/07/2017 19:38

I second hyponobirthing. I was pretty terrified before I did a course and it helped a lot. And I had DS in 3 hrs 20 mins and two quick pushes.

I know the horror stories get told, but I think it's because my experience isn't all that interesting!

imjessie · 16/07/2017 19:38

I've had both , like you I was terrified of giving birth for many years and wasn't going to have children because of it . I then found myself pregnant and went with it .. I had pre eclampsia which didn't help but it was worse than I could ever of imagined . I've since spoken to a counsellor and the midwife that helped me ( I tracked her down when I was pregnant with my second ) and she said due to circumstances beyond my control it was bad but ... I think my fear made it worse . So I would certainly get some help and speak to some people before hand .. the recovery was way way worse for my c section ( my Vaginal delivery was ventouse with a episiotomy ) but I would have another one over the first birth any day . My mind is blown by women who make it look easy .. some just disappear for a few hours and are home again .. this is not me 😬😬😬.

2014newme · 16/07/2017 19:40

I was in hospital for a month after my section and had to have a further operation, got an infection etc. My scar is so bad I've been offered plastic surgery. It's not an easy option

hazeyjane · 16/07/2017 19:40

I have had 2 vaginal births and 1 elective caesarean.

The worst thing about the vaginal births were - having 2nd and 3rd degree tears (and some subsequent issues...hence the elective for number 3), passing out during second birth (very unsettling!)

Worst bit of elective - um, whole thing really, reaction to drugs, shaking uncontrollably, vomiting after having ds, ds being in nicu/scbu with breathing difficulties so not seeing him or holding him for a couple of days, developing an infection in my veins and the wound and lots of other crappy things, some of which are ongoing. It was very different to the experiences I had read about and I genuinely thought I was well researched and prepared. I hadn't factored in just how out of control I felt.

farfarawayfromhome · 16/07/2017 19:44

I had an ELCS and it was the best thing ever. Over the age of 35 you have a 1 in 3 chance of a birth without forceps, venteuse or episiotomy and they were not odds I favoured.

The whole experience was brilliant: calm, planned, relaxed. Recovery normal. Very different or some of my friends who have been ruined by vaginal births and have needed numerous corrective surgeries afterwards.

farfarawayfromhome · 16/07/2017 19:48

I was also recommended this brilliant book by a fellow mumsnetrer. I knew I'd made the right choice when I read it.

www.amazon.co.uk/Choosing-Cesarean-Natural-Birth-Plan/dp/1616145110

GottaLoveIceCream · 16/07/2017 19:50

Another suggestion of Hypnobirth classes. Honestly try them. I did the Marie Mongon method and it's amazing what it can do for your mindset. We had one on one classes as we missed out on the course dates so had to go to the lady's house in the evenings and I got so much out of it. In the profession you are in you should probably start asking people to please not tell you horror stories about birth, every birth is different, some are good. The birth of my DD was honestly the easiest part of the whole 9 months for me. If you google Hypnobirth then you'll find loads of testimonials from people who have tried the various methods.

diodati · 16/07/2017 19:51

Childbirth is a natural occurrence. Your body is designed for it. Don't let the horror stories scare you; as PP have said, every birth is different. The main thing is that both mother and baby are healthy so whatever it takes for that to happen... A vaginal birth doesn't have to be painful but for some weird reason, there are women who love to tell of their "war stories"; how much they suffered, how brave they were, etc. My own sister loves to boast about how she gave birth on a yoga mat, in a hospital corridor because there was no room available, and so on.

BelfastSmile · 16/07/2017 20:10

I was terrified of giving birth, mainly because I'd heard so many horror stories and believed them.

In the event, it was fine - including DC2 who arrived at great speed onto the bathroom floor!

You should get a chance to discuss your concerns at your booking appointment (at around 12 weeks). Make sure you mention what your worries are. They will have heard it all before and will work with you to come up with a plan so you feel in control. By the time I'd done that, I felt so positive about it that I said no to a c-section when they offered it.

BendydickCuminsnatch · 16/07/2017 20:12

Thanks welsh & fuzzy, this is great news!!

Original poster

Sazzamac1983 · 16/07/2017 20:13

Wow! Thank you all for the encouragement!

I am going to research this and take a few months to think it through.

I am definitely going to stop any clients from talking about their bad experiences.

Something that I think back to often is - I am 35 years old and having my first, and I have a client who is an obstetric surgeon and I asked her honestly for her opinion on which option to choose.....

She said for women over 35 the overall risks are slightly lower with a C-Section and if you plan to have 1 or 2 children then it is a better option!

Well considering my fears I jumped on this comment and am running with it!

But I should really do research myself.

My closest friends are all medical - doctors and nurses... the doctors say do a c-section... the nurses say I'm bonkers.

Really is difficult to choose.

I know it can sound selfish and precious to want a C-section. I really am just scared of tears, pain, prolapses and incontinence.

But maybe I'm just being a big baby!

OP posts:

justanotheryoungmother · 16/07/2017 20:18

Only read through the first few comments but I had a VB and I'm still emotionally scarred by it that I never want to do it again and may never have another child because I couldn't go through that again; it was horrendous. So I get where you're coming from and it's up to you what you want to do, however I've heard that generally recovery is worse with a CS- I had a horrible recovery from VB but the general consensus seems to be that recovery from CS is worse so the pain may last longer. Hope all goes well for you

Original poster

Sazzamac1983 · 16/07/2017 20:19

Thank you for the recommendation! I have just bought it xx xx

OP posts:

Original poster

Sazzamac1983 · 16/07/2017 20:22

Justanotheryoungmother I'm sorry you're so traumatised xx I do think things get better - that's always the positive upshot from the stories I hear xxx

OP posts:

flowery · 16/07/2017 20:29

I had a hideous time giving birth to DS1, took forever, interventions, problems afterwards. Awful.

As a result, I had an ELCS with DS2 and it was fantastic, absolutely wonderful. Recovery time much quicker, I was in a much better state afterwards, and it went really quickly and smoothly.

I understand that VB is better if all goes smoothly. Trouble is, for a large proportion of women it doesn't.

AceholeRimmer · 16/07/2017 20:32

I had two sections due to fear of birth and they were brilliant. I just asked at my booking in and was told it was fine. I'm so happy I had them. No trauma, flashbacks, no damage down there, no unpredictability of birth, no PND due to having an awful experience. Yes it was painful afterwards for a week and then got better... but dealing with afterpain is far less scary than the worry about birth pain/instruments/stitches. This is all my own opinion though of course, I know lots of women have lovely births! I just didn't want to risk it.

Every woman should be able to decide the method they prefer.

AceholeRimmer · 16/07/2017 20:34

Also to expand on something you said- I came across many midwives and a few consultants who said they had sections/will have sections due to what they've seen.

li1972 · 16/07/2017 20:37

I had an elective c-section and was home within 48 hrs. No major discomfort - paracetamol only. Recovery was brilliant. If anything, I was skipping off down to the showers the following morning, and some of the natural birthers were shuffling and holding on to their stomachs. It was a no-brainer for me and would be a section next time too. Good luck with whatever you decide. X

li1972 · 16/07/2017 20:40

Oh I should say that I'm healthcare too and also over 35. I do wonder if its the emergency sections that skew the figures recovery wise? Just a thought? Maybe look at the research.

hazeyjane · 16/07/2017 20:59

One of the things I found really hard after my section was the feeling that I had somehow failed, things were supposed to be more controlled, I had planned, read and researched. I was not supposed to be sat in my room on my own looking at a photo of ds (taken by a kind nicu nurse) pumping milk to go into a feeding tube, or feel like a woman sawn in two, I was certainly not supposed to be struggling weeks later, then still feeling pain and trauma months later and tbh even now (7 years) I struggle at times with the physical and emotional effects. But I am doing the horror story thing, and I don't mean to, but any method of birth can leave you feeling like you've been hit by a train, and any method of birth can leave you feeling a sense of euphoria (despite a 2 hour operation after having dd1 - 3 day labour, long pushing stage, episiotomy, ventouse, 3rd degree tear bordering on 4th....I remember feeling like I could conquer the world )

imjessie · 16/07/2017 22:01

I consider myself pretty tough and I was terrified . I'm guessing it's something I saw or heard early on in life because I'm also terrified of sharks and that's because I watched jaws when I was about 6!! 🙄... in every other aspect Of life I'm fine .. when I was pregnant I had horses and beforehand was eventing which takes guts .. weird ..

NameChange30 · 16/07/2017 22:13

It is absolutely not selfish and precious to want a c-section.

Whether you have a vaginal birth or a c-section, neither is the "easy option", both have risks, both require recovery.

It's your body and I strongly believe you should have the right to give birth How you want. The NICE guidelines say that pregnant women should be given a c-section if they want one, although not all maternity hospitals follow the guidelines sadly, and they can make it difficult.

I haven't read all the replies (I have read all your posts, OP) but I imagine you'll get a mixture of people telling you they had an easy vaginal birth, nightmare vaginal birth, easy c-section and nightmare c-section. I think there are fewer risks and an easier recovery with a straightforward vaginal birth, but the problem is that there's no guarantee you'll have one. Some people prefer to have an elective c-section as they know it will go smoothly, so as to avoid the risk of a difficult vaginal birth or an emergency c-section. That's a perfectly valid choice IMO.

I suggest you do a hypnobirthing course to help you feel more relaxed and positive about the birth - but preferably a course that is balanced, with someone who will encourage you to make your own informed decisions, and won't push you for/against any particular option.

Tchoutchou · 16/07/2017 22:22

Agree with OB you talked to: planned c-section better for you.
If you give birth for the first time age 35 or more, the risks of VB (forceps, tears) really increase. If you want 1 maybe 2 children then ELCS is better.
All the best

hazeyjane · 16/07/2017 22:34

Some people prefer to have an elective c-section as they know it will go smoothly

Except sometimes it doesn't go smoothly. As you say there can be difficulties with any birth, for the mother and the baby.

NameChange30 · 16/07/2017 22:39

Well there are fewer risks with an ELCS than with a vaginal birth, as the consultant pointed out.

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