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Childbirth

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Original poster

Am I the only one who has no faith in midwives - contentious topic I know....

168 replies

RedFraggle · 07/03/2007 09:13

I had a bit of a nightmare delivery and ended up with an emergency c-section so possibly my views are slightly warped...

I am having an elective this time around for various reasons, but I have to admit that I felt a huge flush of relief when I realised it meant I wouldn't have to rely on any midwives as I have no faith or trust in them at all. Can I be the only woman on Mumsnet who would really prefer NOT to have midwives involved in their birth? All the threads I have seen seem very pro-midwife and I was just curious...

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Nbg · 07/03/2007 09:15

I could be wrong RF but I think alot of it is because there is such a massive shortage of midwives, the ones we do have are completely rushed off their feet.

Midwives do a great job and alot of them atm, in crap circumstances.

Kbear · 07/03/2007 09:18

I had an emergency c-section first time after 48 hours of labour then an elective second time round. I felt a similar way to you about midwives, I felt I didn't get enough monitoring, care and certainly no compassion first time.

Second time, I couldn't praise them highly enough. One in particular was a superstar. She couldn't have looked after me more, both medically and emotionally. I wrote to her afterwards and told her that she had made a massive difference to my birth experience and consequently I was able to lay to rest the awful experience of the first birth.

I think we're all only human, there is good and bad in every profession but mostly midwives know their stuff and are invaluable.

rosylonginglily · 07/03/2007 09:19

Sounds like you've been unlucky with your experience of mws. I'm on my fourth pregnancy and sometimes I've come across clueless, daft or patronising mws but usually my mws have been only brilliant.

lissielou · 07/03/2007 09:20

im with RF on this. the mws who dealt with me when i was pg with ds were awful, wouldnt scan me even tho im tiny and still measured 42w at 38w, wouldnt even discuss a cs even tho i was so big, left me for 3d in labour, waters were green ds had engaged and disengaged 4 times and they wouldnt listen! i had a crash cs in the end which was awful. not all of them are bad, but some are vvvvv bad

Original poster
RedFraggle · 07/03/2007 09:27

I just felt really let down at several stages - some of the midwives I saw were just plain horrid and unsupportive. The ones I had at delivery left me labouring for ages saying that my baby just needed to turn a bit and she would be out. As soon as the doctor saw me she said it was brow and was never coming out and ordered a crash section - by this stage my baby's heart rate was dropping very low on contractions and I was getting scared as I didn't feel I was getting anywhere.
If a doctor could tell my baby was brow straight away, why the hell couldn't the blooming midwives?
There is more but I could rant for weeks (ask my DH.... )
I know they are understaffed but in my opinion that doesn't justify me labouring for that long without them realising there was a problem. There was a midwife in the labour room with me the whole time too so it's not as though they hadn't been constantly examining me...

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Bucketsofdynomite · 07/03/2007 09:27

I've been exactly where you are! Are you feeling scared, angry, out of control?
I had a real phobia of MWs, I got anxiety attacks at the thought of bumping into the evil one from my first baby and being pg again makes you feel so vulnerable doesn't it?
I had all my antenatals with my GP and when the consultant booked me in for my elective I burst into tears in relief (having started crying with anxiety at the when a MW walked past!)
I now feel completely cured by having DS my way and have read so much about natural childbirth that I can see my expectations were slightly unnatural to an extent. Childbirth, like breastfeeding, is a lost art - back from extended families and generations of women living and working together. Also the lack of MWs and a very litigious society makes them unable to do their job properly all the time too. I never thought I'd forgive mine but I have. (I'd still have another elective though because I love my fully-functional pelvic floor!)
Do what you have to do to get this baby out then see how you feel about midwives. Good luck hun.

Bucketsofdynomite · 07/03/2007 09:30

Oh and have a look here , all you ladies who had their hearts broken by their childbrith experience. It's SOOOOO common and frequently misdiagnosed as PND.

Muminfife · 07/03/2007 09:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

twelveyeargap · 07/03/2007 09:32

I was talking to a cab driver the other night whose wife is a midwife at a hospital in North London. He was saying that they're so under-staffed, that she sometimes has 10 women to look after. I think under those circumstances, it would be awfully difficult to do a good job,no matter how lovely you are.

I have a mistrust of consultants as I experienced some really indifferent to derisory treatment from them when I had a baby at a very young age.

I suppose a previous bad experience will put you off anything.

Original poster
RedFraggle · 07/03/2007 09:33

BoD, I wish I had a functioning pelvic floor! As I was basically ramming dd into my pubic bone and pelvic floor repeatedly for hours my pelvic floor is knackered - had to have physio after the birth to try to get some control back (iyswim).

I was diagnosed with PTSD after the nightmare experience and had to have counselling to get over it and then more counselling just to be able to get pregnant.
I am really hoping that, like you I will be able to lay some demons to rest by having a positive section this time around. I am so glad to hear your second birht went well!

Lissielou - sounds like you had a terrible time, have you had other children since?

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cheritongirl · 07/03/2007 09:33

poor you RF! I have to say i think it is completely luck of the draw - all through my pg the midwives were unhelpful/bored/patronising and then i decided to have a homebirth (all community midwives i had seen til this point thought i was barmy and were v unsupportive) but then suddenly by fluke i got assigned an amazing, wonderful mw who went beyond the call of duty, totally encouraged me in the hb and saw me through a very long but ultimately positive labour at home. Tbh though, i think she probably "stretched" quite a few rules to be this amazing and the majority certainly wouldn't have.
She has left this job now and next time round i hope to goodness i end up with another one like her...

lissielou · 07/03/2007 09:37

ive had 3 confirmed mcs, 1 suspected and 1 ep, ds is 22m. i had a v nasty post natal uterine infection coz i was labouring so long, so lost 1 tube in ep and the other one is rubbish. the mw left me alone for 6h, on a drip and in the end dh walked around the ward to find a consultant.

still want more tho!

Bucketsofdynomite · 07/03/2007 09:42

LOL Redfraggle, I would have needed counselling to ttc no2 if he hadn't appeared by magic a year after DD's birth! Because of the small age gap life was really hard and it's taken me 2yrs to really fall in love him, to forgive him for putting me through the mill iyswim.
I'd really like another one so we could all actually enjoy the whole process but DH likes the easy life of just 2 kids and there's a lot to be said for that.

becaroo · 07/03/2007 09:54

I have every sympathy with you RF. My first pregnancy and birth were blighted by incompetency from m/w.
I found out later that a few months after my son was born the community m/w who "looked after" us was sacked.
When I arrived at the labour suite they didnt examine me but assumed as I wasnt screaming the place down I was only in early labour and so sent me home and told me to take 2 paracetamol. Good job I started bleeding and had to go back and good job a consultant examined me as I was already 6cms dilated.
In labour I was left with a student m/w the whole time and the m/w who delivered him had only been on shift for 20 mins.
I am currently pregnant with no.2 and am not going back to that hospital. If all is well, I am planning a home birth.
I think that on the understaffing issue women really have to start writing to their MPs and making their concerns clear - something must be done or women and children are going to suffer needlessly.

Original poster
RedFraggle · 07/03/2007 09:56

I'm so sorry LissieLou, I really hope things work out for you. I was mis-diagnosed an Ectopic with this pregnancy and the waiting around to find out the truth is truly awful.

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SweetyDarling · 07/03/2007 09:58

I have to say that until I mived to the UK I thought that midwives were a thrd-world thing! Was shocked that you don't get a doctor. I am sure that most midwives do a great job, but I am just used to the idea that I would get care from someone with 8+ years of medical training during my pregnancy/birth.
I hope I'm not offending anyone here - that's not my intention.

RanToTheHills · 07/03/2007 09:58

they're not all bad -had a fab one 2nd time round!

Piffle · 07/03/2007 09:59

I would blame the system and the lack of staffing not the actual midwives. They really are pulled a hundred ways by overwork and bureaucracy
Where I am we are very fortunate to have an excellent supply locally.

Anna8888 · 07/03/2007 10:01

I had completely wonderful midwives throughout - amazingly competent and supportive. Yes, they were busy, but they explained very clearly how I should go about managing my labour to make it as short, painless and safe as possible and I did what they said and it all worked out beautifully. Everything was on the NHS, except one visit to an osteopath on my lead midwife's recommendation a couple of weeks before my due date - my baby was chin-up, and the midwife said the osteopath could help her tuck her chin in. £34 very well spent, because it worked Don't know why the NSH doesn't pay for antenatal osteopathy though, since those £34 quite possibly saved it the cost of a c-section.

TheBlonde · 07/03/2007 10:02

I would just prefer not to have incompetent health workers involved in my labour and delivery
Unfortunately I have little faith in MWs or Drs!

I do agree that the MW understaffing is creating huge issues with the standard of care. If you have a substandard care you must complain - nothing will change otherwise

Piffle · 07/03/2007 10:02

sweety interesting
I always see birth as a physiological experience NOT a medical one
I would be happy to see no doctors all things going well, but of course if you need one, essential.

Original poster
RedFraggle · 07/03/2007 10:02

BoD, I know exactly what you mean about letting yourself love them. I struggled to bond with dd for probably about 8 months after her birth, couldn't let myslef love her as I was so sure I had almost lost her in delivery and didn't want to love her in case anything happened. Crazy the way your mind works.
I still haven't bonded with this pregancy properly as I am still convinced something is going to go wrong...
A bad birth just impacts in so many ways, I go through days of being just sad and weepy that it all went so wrong for dd's birth and then days (like today!) of being rather angry that it could have been avoided. I'm not blaming the midwives as such as I know people make mistakes, but I do feel very let down that my care wasn't better and that I've had to go through so much s* afterwards as a result of it.

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Original poster
RedFraggle · 07/03/2007 10:07

Becaroo that is awful!

Anna888, how did your midwife know your baby was chin-up? Did you have a scan?

Maybe I was just particularly unlucky but three midwives (!) failed to spot that my babay was breech at 39 weeks - only found out as I insisted on a scan! Can't imagine any on them noticing chin positions!!

OP posts:
Flossam · 07/03/2007 10:09

During my birth with DS a few minor mistakes were made. Nothing compared to some of the stories on here.

However, just wanted to say, although Drs are trained for years, they are trained in all aspects of the body, disease and illness. Not all of that time may be dedicated to obstetrics. However, a midwife is usually trained for 3 or 4 years, all of which revolves around childbirth. Just worth remembering IMO, although they don't always get it right, sometimes the drs don't either!

Lizzylou · 07/03/2007 10:13

I'm with twelveyeargap, with DS2 the Consultant I saw was awful, patronising and not helpful in the least, the MW's were fantastic with both DS1 and DS2. I'd had a bad time with DS1 when he'd got stuck and even though DS2 was obv far bigger than DS1 the Consultant pushed me into a natural birth (another ventouse) which was frankly horrific. The MW's were supportive and helpful throughout.