Support thread for the overdue and the just fed up

[ThereMustAndShallBeTea]

YY it's my third thread in as many days and I'm not even bloody overdue (39 weeks today!) but fucking hell I am so uncomfy (SPD plus arthritis is not a good combination with two mental lively DC now off school for a fortnight plus raging heartburn, exhaustion and repeatedly being kicked in the cervix).

Anyone want to hold hands while waiting for bloody contractions to start?

I'm keen to join too, have been lurking for a while... not technically overdue (38+5) but sooo fed up! Keep thinking labour might be gearing up with lots of tight crampy BH, the odd bit of browny discharge (show? isn't being pregnant lovely?), constant backache and feeling under the weather but then nothing at all happens!

Booked for a sweep at 39+2 so also keen to hear what to expect afterwards (also well aware this could be nothing... )

So fed up of not being able to get comfy in bed/put my own socks on/eat a normal sized meal etc, I just want to meet this LO already!

I shouldn't think you'll have a problem driving home after a sweep. You might feel a bit uncomfortable down below but its unlikely anything dramatic will happen immediately.

Gingerfluffball your symptoms sound promising, maybe you won't be waiting too long.

Some stronger tightenings here today, almost painful. Also I went ridiculously weak and hungry, like i was going to faint, and had to wolf some lunch down. Not been that ravenous in ages and briefly convinced myself that it was because my body needed the energy for imminent labour, but the reality is I'd just been swimming and breakfast was ages ago! Reading too much into everything!

40+2 and impatient!

Welcome Minimooo, Jbee and Gingerfluffball!

With regards to sweeps, I had one this afternoon (am 40+3). MW said I'm 1-2cm dilated and 50% effaced with a central cervix. Bled for a few hours after (she said to expect this and I was given a pad to wear) and have been extremely crampy ever since. You should be perfectly fine to drive.

Not getting my hopes up as I had a sweep with DD1 and had similar dilation and effacement. Lost my mucus plug and again had lots of cramps but nothing happened in the 48hr window of success. Had it done at 39+6, went into labour naturally at 40+4.

I fully expect to still be on here moaning this time next week!

Its all started here. Trying to get a bit of sleep but may give up and have a bath. Contractions about 7 minutes apart. Getting stronger but it may be my position.

My mum has come over this evening and is kipping at MILs, round the corner, so she is on standby to look after ds at short notice.

Good luck cowbiscuits! Warm bath sounds good. Keep us posted

Good luck cowbiscuits! Hope everything has gone well overnight.

Hi jbee and gingerfluffball!

Still nothing here. Went for a long walk yesterday and have been bouncing on my ball. Baby is just too comfy in there! I think I might try and book an acupuncture appointment for tomorrow. Anyone else tried it?

40+3

Hi ladies, I am currently 41 weeks today. Got a sweep booked for tomorrow and induction on Friday. Really hoping it doesn't get to that because the visiting times at the hospital are pretty shocking for the dads to be and I don't fancy even going through one contraction alone. It's really sad that throughtout my pregnancy this is the only thing which has completely shaken me. I didn't ever think at any point in labour you wouldn't have a choice if your partner was there or not. I heard from a friend that she didn't get took to labour ward until she was 7cm dilated and her partner still wasn't allowed into the ward and ontop of the stresses of going through it alone she was worried he wouldn't be there at the birth. How can this still be okay in this day and age when all everyone bangs on about is gender equality!! I think if you go in to be induced you should have a room or wards available where other women don't mind if your husband is with you. I wouldn't want another man listening to my private health conversations etc but it would be worth it to have the support of my husband with me. Does anyone have any experience in this or demanding that their husband stays with them etc? It's really distracting me from being happy about seeing my baby!

With my second I arrived to 42+3 so hang in there the baby will come out sooner or later.

Thanks Melody12. It's already booked so I don't think I can cancel it. I will need to somehow deal with it when it happens, but it was such a shock finding out that dad can't be present throughout mealtimes or from 8pm-10.30am. I think this should be clearly explained at the start. Surely by allowing birth partners to be there would free up midwife resource as two heads are better than one. Thank you for your insight, I wish I had said no.

Hi captured, that sounds awful. I didn't realise that dads were still subject to visiting times with inductions. I agree that there should be separate rooms/wards for ladies who would rather have their other halves with them.

The midwife has told me I'll be induced a week Wednesday, so I'll be sure to ask about this before I agree to it. I think you can cancel it even if it's booked. But I understand if you felt that you couldn't, as I would probably feel the same! I hate feeling pressured by medical professionals, and I'm finding the whole issue of being overdue and midwives pushing me into sweeps/inductions etc quite difficult to handle.

Everything slowed down! Really painful overnight, didn't get a wink of sleep, at 6am I had contractions every 3-5 minutes, painful, but on phone triage advised to wait until more regular or stronger, then they dipped off. So upsetting as I thought things would have moved onwards.

Just rang community midwife in tears and she advised to just get some rest and they will come back if its proper labour.

But this latent phase goes on for days for some people doesn't it?

I'm too uncomfortable to sleep but not in enough pain for hospital.

Thanks Minimoo

I also just assumed that dad's would get to be there the whole time which is why it has completely shaken me. The midwife said all the women in the ward help each other but that is definitely not the same as having someone you trust to help you make decisions, advocate for you, support you through pain.
It's all taken me by surprise that there might be all or some aspects of this that I'll need to go through alone. I do think it depends on which hospital you go to. The second one closest to me is similar but they have an 8-8 policy which is slightly better as they don't get turfed out at meal times but it's reputation is not as good as the one I'm going to. I have been so easy breezy throughout the full pregnancy until I got to the overdue stage, like you, I feel it's more pressurising and there's no one to really discuss your options with, your just told the process and urged to go along with everything & if you don't the scaremongering looks come out. You would think this would be the time when you should feel even more supported, as besides all the above palava mums are just desperate to meet their newborns and be told everything's okay since we have carried them for over 40 weeks!! Keep us posted on what your hospital policy is with the dad visiting rules.

Cowbiscuits- sorry to hear things have slowed down for you, it must be so frustrating stuck in a sort of labour limbo, hopefully it's not too long until it picks back up. Have you found the midwives helpful so far? So far all the one I've had just seem like they want to tick a box and get you out without really listening to you but I've heard it's different when you are actually starting labour and in the labour wards. Fingers crossed for you!

Hi, all. I'm only 38+2 so not yet at the really pissed off stage but wanted to wish you all luck.

And also, captured and anyone else, you certainly can cancel any appointment you want. YOU are in charge of you and your baby. If you don't feel ready to be induced, ask instead for a monitoring scan maybe, to check there are no immediate concerns, and discuss your options. I had my first baby at 42 weeks (after four days of painful latent labour!) and declined induction at 41+3 without anyone making any big fuss. I know people who HAVE come under huge pressure to be induced when they didn't feel ready and it makes me very angry.

Thanks three, it's reassuring to know you can push back on the medical professionals if you feel the need to. I like the sound of monitoring with scans etc rather than induction, so will definitely look into that route before I see the midwife again on Friday.

Sorry to hear it all tailed off cowbiscuits. Hope you can get some rest, and fx the contractions all start up again today.

captured I agree, it's not the same at all! No-one would compare to having dh there (let alone a bunch of random women who have never met before!) My next midwife appt is Friday, so I'll let you know what they say about visiting times for induction then.

It would be nice if the midwives/doctors could acknowledge that due dates are estimated and are very often calculated incorrectly. I'm pretty sure mine is out by about 5-7 days, so I'm not at all surprised that I've gone overdue. From my experiences over the last few days, it seems like now I'm 40 weeks it's all about medical intervention wherever possible to get the baby out. I just don't think she's ready yet!

Can I join in? I'm 40+4 and REALLY miserable!

Keep having v strong BH, mainly in the middle of the night and chronic heartburn/back pain but nothing seems to be happening.

Midwife tried to do a sweep last week on due date but it was v uncomfortable so she said she would stop and try again this week. I just really want the baby here now!

Thanks Three,

I am going to discuss it in more detail at the sweep appointment that I have tomorrow morning. There was a lack of discussion about the options available and when I asked what the other options would be instead of induction I just got the stillbirth talk, placenta failure and reassurance that other women are in their on their own.

I do understand this, but we're all different and cope differently. I only wish I could have the pessary then discharge myself until I get to the point where the contractions are enough that I would go to labour ward. Has anyone heard of anyone doing this before? The midwife did say once I was in hospital I wouldn't be allowed out (quite scary) and daddy would need to abide by the visiting rules. I really don't feel supported through this stage.

Hahaha!

I've just had a midwife appointment coincidentally and she told me my trust now offers low risk women the option of going home after having a pessary inserted, so it's definitely worth asking.

She also told me that they would happily support me having my baby at home after 42 weeks if I refused induction but in return they do like women to see an obstetrician for the scan/monitoring and just to discuss what their individual plan might be.

On the whole it feels like my trust (a big teaching one in London) is gradually moving more towards supporting women in their choices.

Welcome chocolatecake :-) I have my sweep tomorrow, how long are you normally in for? Does it take a while?

Minimoo- thanks for your support. I also agree that as soon as you hit 40 weeks you are just automatically labelled to go through a process..a process which they don't even take time to explain. I look forward to hearing about how it goes on Friday :-)

Welcome Maki79 - I like the idea of assessment and then taking it from there. Also haven't tried the curry for breakfast idea :-)

Three- sounds like you have a great trust who are making inroads with progressive choices for women. I have low risk throughout the pregnancy and if the pessary is just to 'ripen' you then I don't see why I need to be huddled in a ward away from DH. I think I will wait and be monitored for an hour or so and then discharge myself if nothing insane is happening. I will also mention this at my appointment tomorrow.

I'm at King's, but community led so am saved the mega-medical version. But with each child they do seem to be relaxing some things. Probably they are tightening up on others to make up for it!

Well, after every slowed down, I managed a half hours sleep, and it worked, because I was woken by some strong contractions, headed to hospital at 4pm. I got the birthing pool which was an amazingly relaxed experience. Leo was born at 7.45pm in pool, he flew out of me in just a few big pushes, leaving a trail of destruction to my nether regions which needed some stitches and is tender but we're fine and happy! He is very chilled and feeding well so far.

Congrats on baby Leo cowbiscuits, lovely news enjoy those newborn snuggles!

Congratulations cowbiscuits :-)