have you come out of childbirth 'unscathed'?

[rubyred84]

physically and mentally? sounds like an odd question but it just seems that almost every woman suffers slightly during childbirth. some seem to suffer birth injuries and face intervention but don't find the experience distressing, others seem to physically have a great birth but mentally struggle afterwards. what we're your experiences?

I'm not looking for solely positive birth stories to make me feel better so please don't sugar coat it for me, I'm just looking for honest experiences of first births. I'm a strong believer in being armed with the truth!

does everyone tear during their first birth? is intervention more common with your first?

I'm having twins, and so sadly my options are much more limited than with one baby. I just want us all to safe and happy, and I'm trying to decide what is best for us (me included!!)

I agree hm32. I gave birth both times in a midwife led unit with a lot of support and (importantly to me) privacy. I had my own room with a birthing pool of I wanted it from start to finish. It was like staying in a hotel! This was NHS by the way.

I was completely unscathed emotionally and physically (bar a small scar in an area that no one sees anyway)

I had a category 1 (ie highest urgency) emcs but my whole birth was still an overwhelmingly positive experience and I got my amazing DS out of it.
I had no pain whatsoever following section and didn't even need pain killers when spinal wore off

Yes, I feel unscathed.

My waters broke early so I had to be induced - pessary and then drip. I asked for an epidural early on and got it quickly. I didn't feel any pain. I needed two stitches but I didn't feel them go in, and I didn't feel them at all when I got home. They must have dropped out without me noticing. Everyone told me weeing would be painful afterwards. It wasn't at all. It was all normal.

Everyone also warned me I would have painful breasts for a week because we had chosen to formula feed. This didn't happen. My breasts were fine.

After my baby was born, my partner did the first feed and then we all slept for a few hours in the delivery room. When I woke up my partner showed me how to feed her and burp her. I stayed that night in a quiet single room and came home the next day to cards and flowers. It was perfect! That day we went out for a walk and I felt fine, just a bit stiff and tired.

My partner did the first 2 weeks of night feeds to let me recover. I did the dayshift and loved it. We played to our strengths. He can sleep anywhere and at any time and doesn't get irritable without sleep. I have stamina and patience for the day shift, leaving my partner to nap and do other stuff.

I feared the worse - a gruelling labour ending in an Emergency C Section, massive tears, spending a week on busy ward pressing the buzzer in pain and no one coming to help, hallucinations from the cocktail of drugs I would take, unwanted visitors when I was exhausted leading to post partum depression etc etc!

None of this happened and I feel mentally and physically well, thanks to good luck, good planning and an amazingly supportive family.

I escaped unscathed twice. 2 x home waterbirths with not even a paracetamol. Tiny graze both times but no stitches or any real discomfort.

Mentally the births were both fine. However I feel much more fragile emotionally since having my first baby in general. I'm aware of my own mortality, I'm tired, I'm stretched emotionally, I miss my freedom (socially, professionally, personally, financially), I constantly doubt my capability as a good mother, I constantly question whether my own mother was/is a good one, I feel weaker emotionally.

Sorry I guess that's a little bit off-thread but 3.5 years in and parenting still throws me off balance sometimes.

IMVHO childbirth is the only easy bit

First baby here. Contractions started at 2am, went into hospital at 9pm the next day and DD was born just after midnight.

Second degree tears and on a drip for loss of blood but was still home by 7pm that day so less than 24 hours in hospital. I should say, this was my choice, I could have stayed longer but I wanted own bed!

Physically afterwards I felt like a bit battered, the stitches hurt and I got an infection there that cleared up quickly with antibiotics. I know people always say you won't have time to brush your hair, shower, get out of pjs at the start but I did this every day as it made me feel 'normal'.

Mentally I found the first few weeks tough and missed grown up conversation and interactions. It's hard because you need looking after too and you often forget this. I thought I might find this bit difficult before I gave birth though so I was prepared for it and knew it would eventually pass!

I think I may have given childbirth a bad rap here! I feel like I had a really positive experience, particularly in relation to my midwife care both before, during and after the birth.

No intervention, small tear, all healed perfectly. I actually enjoyed my birth (which I credit to Birth Skills by Juju Sundin). I am however pretty traumatised by the experience of breast feeding a non diagnosed tongue tied baby. I'd give birth again in a heartbeat but the thought of going through the first few months again gives me the shakes.

I had a horrendous first birth and physically suffered for a long time, and as a consequence, was wound tighter than a coiled spring for my second, had massive anxiety to the point of having perinatal mh team involved, but straightforward water birth, third just popped out in half an hour..

And so, when having number two, I felt absolutely scathed... I felt almost broken.. But now, a year after no.3 and five and a bit after no.1, I feel totally nostalgic and fond of it all and I wouldn't change a bar of it. The whole journey was a bit of everything - joy, fear, love, graft, mundane, amazing etc - but overall it's been just what it needed to be in the context of my life and becoming a mum, for me.

First birth, quite long but I partly blame that on being sent home from hospital twice. I think all the to-ing and fro-ing stalled things a bit. Straightforward water birth after that, quick second stage, placenta took a while to come out but I didn't go to theatre and just had a graze.

Second birth, home water birth, about 4 hours start to finish and again quick second stage and just a graze.

It's not something I often talk about because I know I've been lucky, and I suppose I assume when people are comparing horror stories they may not want to hear about straightforward ones

Just wanted to say don't worry. I had a lovely water birth, just gas & air for pain relief. 7 hours of active labour. Baby was 7lb 5oz, I had a second degree tear which was sore for the first week but healed within 14 days. First 4 weeks home were a steep learning curve but I just took it day by day. Don't expect too much from yourself, as long as your child is fed, changed and safe your meeting their needs, anything else is a bonus.

I didn't tear. Had a fabulous water birth. Waters went at 4pm and ds was born at 7.45pm. I had some mild regular contractions for about 12 hours before my waters broke but nothing that painful (I slept through them mostly).

Not all labours are difficult.

Tricky question, cos the lower the expectations, the better in my experience!

Both my dds births were quick, easy and came out without any tears/stitches. Too quick for even gas and air, and I felt great afterwards and remained on a pink cloud for weeks after.

However, I have to say that my expectations were v v low, so up until the pushing stage I believed it was going to become a lot harder and I had only 'just begun' the long labour (when in fact baby was out 15 mins later ).

Good luck, see what happens and trust yourself that you'll deal with it as best you can!

On paper, my birth sounds less than ideal - long labour, back to back, drip, baby turns so it's in an undeliverable position, failed ventouse, cat 1 emcs.

But it was fine. I would even go so far as to say it was positive. I felt cared for and listened to, DD was safe, 5 days of care in hospital afterwards was lovely too.

Good luck OP.

Unscathed here. Straightforward water birth, short pushing stage. Second degree tear that healed within a fortnight and never gave me any pain.