have you come out of childbirth 'unscathed'?

[rubyred84]

physically and mentally? sounds like an odd question but it just seems that almost every woman suffers slightly during childbirth. some seem to suffer birth injuries and face intervention but don't find the experience distressing, others seem to physically have a great birth but mentally struggle afterwards. what we're your experiences?

I'm not looking for solely positive birth stories to make me feel better so please don't sugar coat it for me, I'm just looking for honest experiences of first births. I'm a strong believer in being armed with the truth!

does everyone tear during their first birth? is intervention more common with your first?

I'm having twins, and so sadly my options are much more limited than with one baby. I just want us all to safe and happy, and I'm trying to decide what is best for us (me included!!)

I have an episiotomy scar and a caesarian scar, neither of which I notice or bother me because I don't have time. I just wear big pants and keep busy.

Thankfully no physical or mental trauma from either, I was lucky enough to have very easy and quick labors.
DS1 was a 5 hour hypno birth from start to finish. Pain but not unbearable, had to have a small episiotomy. Only slightly uncomfortable fanjo for a week but had excellent pain killers.
DS2 epidural labor through the night, slept most of it, woke up at 10cms, pushed and he shot out about 3 pushes later. No tears or episiotomy - within 2 days didn't even feel like I'd given birth and wasn't sore at all.
Mentally I didn't suffer with anything other than horrendous 3rd day hormones when I was ready to divorce my husband. If I were to ever have a third I would try and stay in hospital for at least 3 days (lovely hospitals here!!) or have a family member come out to deflect the rage...

I had pre eclampsia, an episiotomy and a ventouse delivery. So, quite difficult but nothing unheard of.

It wasn't nice at the time but it doesn't bother me now. My SIL and friend are both still struggling with their difficult birth experiences (similar to mine but without the pre eclampsia).

Neither of my births went to plan, ventouse with episiotomy, then an EMCS. I'm physically fine, I'll never wear a bikini again, but all my bits work just fine. Mentally, well it wasn't what I'd hoped for and after two, I'm done having babies, but I'm over it. I don't really think about the births, when I do I just recall them as things I had to endure to have my precious babies and it was all worth it.

4 dc, my youngest is 9, my eldest is 18. Physically it all went "well" emotionally I was in a very difficult place when I had the eldest and it did have a knock on effect.

Now I would say I'm through it and over it and it's all a distant memory.

They were fucking long and hideously painful but I have emerged physically and mentally unscarred.

Hmm that said I still loathe the effects on my body shape... but that's about esteem tbh!

Yes. Completely unscathed. I had a couple of stitches but was able to cycle after three weeks and at six weeks my gp couldn't tell where they'd been. I was also emotionally fine.
Tbh the next 10.5mo of serious sleep deprivation were far more traumatic for me personally. Ds is 19mo now so has been sleeping ok for nearly as long as he didn't sleep and I'm only just starting to feel recovered!!!

No

I had DD 2 weeks ago and apart from the obvious tiredness I feel good.

Boobs are still perky, second degree tear has healed really quickly and feels pretty close to normal already. Only negative is i have some weight to lose but I wasn't exactly svelte beforehand so can't blame that entirely on pregnancy.

No. Waters broke first and had blood in so I had to labour in hospital. Went into spontaneous labour pretty much straight away but hadn't progressed enough 24 hours later (only got to contractions every 6/7 minutes, 3cm) so had to have labour augmented with the drip. The drip brought on intensely painful, very frequent contractions and the pain was awful. Ds was back to back and they made me stay on my back to deliver so that he could be monitered. Staff were shit, talked over me and about me whilst more or less ignoring me, said I couldn't have an epidural as I wasn't really in labour 3 hours before ds was born. I had 3 tears, 2 were second degree and a first degree that needed stitching. Ds was Tt and establishing bf was a nightmare.

Physically i'm basically ok, I healed really, really well. I have some scars on my nipples from bf but dp says that I'm no different down there. I get back ache exactly where my contractions were.
Emotionally it's been much harder. I still get nightmares about the pain, 16 months later. I put a lot of it down to the behaviour of the staff than the actual birth. That seems quite common doesn't it? I'm really very scared of giving birth again (I'm 26 weeks)

I'd say I'm unscathed from the birth. DS is four months now and everything was straightforward, I had a water birth in a MLU with gas and air, breastfed in the first hour and I was home eating Dominos 8 hours later (DS wasn't exactly small either, 8Ib 12oz).
I had a 2nd degree tear with no real issue, though I got a very slight infection that I got antibiotics for about 11 weeks postpartum.
I was out and in my normal jeans after four days. I'm covered in stretch marks but that's ok. My pelvic floor is fine too and I don't feel any different to before, no idea about sex though since I haven't done it yet (I'm single or I would have by now)

Had a very long labour with first (51h) but managed a natural delivery much to the amazement of everyone involved as I was fucking tired, I also had no intervention and no EPI despite being on the drip from 6cm onwards.

Nothing untoward in terms of tears / grazes but I was sore for a few weeks after in my shoulders and hips [used bars on hospital bed for leverage and pulled some muscles I guess? I also delivered with legs in stirrups!].

Generally I felt a bit "beaten up" but there was nothing specific, just the recovery from a long and physical labour.

I only bled for 10 days, baby was a complete angel and I had no problems with baby blues. I didn't BF and expressed for 6 weeks which I found challenging but once we moved to formula at 8 weeks life was dandy!

Second labour was a lot more painful and intense, baby arrived 80 minutes after MW wrote first entry in my labour notes (4 hours from waters going!!)
Was home that afternoon... again no tears or anything like that! I must have a very stretchy fandango.

Having a toddler didn't allow for me to give it much thought but looking back I think I was a bit dazed. I never expected to go out in the morning and come home with a baby that day? I just expected it to be long and hard and gruelling.

Other than a bit of pain in my back passage I was absolutely fine. Was in Sainsburys the next day it's only a 3 minute walk away

Second birth was a lot better BUT I was never traumatised by the first.

I am equally proud of both labours and births, one was a marathon and the other a sprint!

I'm completely fine and with a massive medical phobia I'm v pleased.

But I did my homework and decided a private pregnancy, birth and postnatal care were for me. (we made massive sacrifices)

And I chose an ELC for my relatively minor medical conditions.

Do whatever it takes to make you feel comfortable.

Absolutely unscathed! 12.5 hours, no drugs, no tearing, no shouting, it got pretty incredibly uncomfortable by the end, but just when I didn't think I could cope any more, we got our gorgeous baby

It's useful to know thought that even great births like mine seem to leave you with the urge to share the birth story again and again at least in the early days - but this seems to fade sooner if you have an ok experience, and/or you have people to listen properly, whereas the people with unresolved horror stories will keep needing to share them including with every unsuspecting first time mother Often it's also hard to share the more positive stories because you just end up sounding smug, even though I am the first to acknowledge that's it's mostly down to luck - though I also think that lots of exercise and hypnobirthing can help if you're lucky like me and get an otherwise straightforward labour.

That said, our midwife was a bit useless and our baby had horrible reflux and barely slept for 6 months until I started hallucinating... But no one gets everything!

the actual births were fine, overnight labour leading to EMCS and an ELCS for dc2. no problems or compilations, body recovered well after a few weeks.

still have flashes of tearfulness at the way I felt in the post natal ward though. really dreadful 3 days after the EMCS.

Unscathed after two VBs - didn't have a single stitch or stretch mark, and pelvic floor is as strong as it's always been. Had one hospital and one home birth. Although they were very different, they were both lovely positive experiences and I was very fortunate to have fantastic mws both times. I know how lucky I am and am bloody grateful, as at the end of the day I think much of the time that's all it comes down to - luck. for those who didn't have such an easy time.

After a combined 5 years (and counting) bf I think my boobs are likely to show the physical evidence of my child bearing.....

Physically - first birth, I had an episiotomy and forceps without consent. Long, slow recovery. I had 3 peaceful HB with no issues. Mentally - the cruel and barbaric way the MW and doctors treated me has stayed with me for years. I think about the sneering MW waving the forceps and scissors in my face every day.

Completely physically and mentally unscathed after both.

DD1 was born with drip 48 hours after my waters broke with no contractions. I was on the drip for four hours before she made a very rapid appearance. The midwife was clearly shocked as she'd only examined me 20 mins before and said I was 5cm. Small tear after the quick pushing stage that healed fine. Emotionally I wasn't great after having her (almost certainly undiagnosed pnd) but that wasn't related to the birth itself.

Second labour was induced after a reduction in movement. The OB said they could immeditely break my waters as my cervix was good to go (I was 41 weeks) but it was ultimately put off til the next day. Went in next day and the midwife had trouble breaking my waters but another managed. After two hours nothing was happening so was put on the drip again. Nothing much for an hour and then they started to come quite quickly. The midwife was much more hands off and said to go with what my body was saying (Id told her the first time Id been pushing without realising) and she said to push if I needed to and didn't even examine me to find out if I was fully dialated. They obviously expected me to go quickly that time round too and sure enough, 3 hours after my first contraction, DD2 was born with only a few short pushes. Again I had a small second degree tear which is healing nicely (I'm only 3 days post labour).

This time round emotionally I was more prepared for then possibility of feeling low and have countered it better. I've been more open about my feelings which has made a massive difference and I'm hoping I won't end up with pnd this time.

Both births were great, both physically and emotionally and I felt really supported all the way through.

No physical or emotional scars after too many several labours. Never tore, no intervention, no drugs. It's perfectly possible it's just that people having poor or difficult experiences tend to need to talk through them and it would be unreasonable to pop in saying "well I was fine"!

Yes I would say I did - unless you count the occasional bit of wee leaking out when I sneeze!

My youngest is 10 now though so perhaps time has dulled the memory!

Yes. 2 DC, no interventions, no tears, not traumatic births. I didn't do anything special to make that happen. They were both surprisingly quick. DC1 born 6hrs after waters broke, about 5hrs of contractions, gas and air. DC2 born 3hrs after waters broke, about 1.5hrs after being sent home from hospital not in labour (we were asked to go and be checked when I rang to say waters had broken), about 20mins after getting back to hospital, no time for any pain relief.

2 ELCS, both beautiful experiences! Really!

Am disappointed I won't get to have another section, for me it's the only way to have a baby!

I had a long labour (waters went, didn't progress, got induced - gave birth two days later) but apart from that it was fine. One small graze, no tear, no forceps or ventouse, no c-section. Husband drove me mad giving a blow by blow account on Facebook but that's nothing to do with the labour, just a stupid husband.

I have quite fond memories of childbirth (except the ring of fire - surely no one enjoys that bit?)

I can't be too scarred by it - I'm having another in September.