Things no-one tells you when you're pregnant!

[Emsie00]

Hi All,

When I was expecting I read all the usual books but still found myself thinking afterwards - why did no-one tell me that? I was talking to some friends who could all name a couple of things that they wish they had been told about, some were funny and some were really useful.

Here's a few of them;

1. If you want to breastfeed but cant for some reason the hospital gives you 3 options to choose from which are all free of charge whilst you are in. A) SMA formula B) Cow & Gate Formula C)Donated Breast Milk from another mother. You get to choose which you would like. I had naturally assumed that I would be able to feed my daughter so was completely unprepared to have to make this decision, especially after 19 hours of labour! So do your research beforehand and take your own if you dont like their options.

1. If you have to have an episiotomy don't be surprised if dr/midwife uses a pair of scissors. It took my husband weeks to get over what he had seen!!

1. I thought the suggestion of packing an Eye Mask in my labour bag was ridiculous, so never bought one. My daughter had to have phototherapy for 48 hours and I would have done anything to have had one to block out the blue light at night! There are also always lights on in the ward so it really does help to get you a better nights sleep.

Please add to this thread - With any luck it might help first time mum's to be

damn there goes that theory, I still get broody despite my moans its still the most enriching experience you'll ever have in life Oh and that moment when you hold your baby for the first time ..

I just wish the stork brought them ..

haven't read them all but-

no one tells you you can get stretch marks in the oddest places..like your calves (or they didn't tell me anyway!)

Did anyone else find that when you go the communal loo, there are pots of everyone else's wee in there with names on? No-one mentioned that either. Was very off-putting especially as I was in 4 days before being induced, so had no idea of what lay ahead - but was horrified that most pots contained varying amounts of blood - how niaive was I!!

When 7 months pg was put on iron supplements for anaemia (sp?) Was UNBELIEVABLY constipated within 12 hours of taking the first few doses. Led to piles. I was MIGHTILY miffed when (male) GP said "Oh, really? I will switch you to supplements that don't create constipation" !!!???!!! Could he not have prescribed them in the first place? Had he never treated a pg woman before? (It was a real "If men had babies...." moment) I had to put up with the misery of constant piles til ds was 6 mths!

Sorry, maybe tmi?

lol at lots of these, although it's definitely black humour...that first poo (5 days after in my case, too shit scared, literally ha ha) was worse than labour and childbirth- and that's after being induced, the epidural coming totally out of my back halfway through a 27 hour labour (no joke... noone would believe that the pain was totally back- thought I was being DRAMATIC!!!), having to have ventouse and forceps as dd1 was mispresenting, losing tonnes of blood, having to be whisked straight to theatre for an MRP crying the whole while and then having the 5 severe cuts stitched (hubby nearly vomited when he saw them desperately cutting me to free the babe) ... but the poo was worse.. thought my entire crotch area was being torn into the loo with it.. thank god someone told me to keep lots of jugs of warm water there to pour over your sore bits as you wee or poo.. invaluable (although my best tip is to pee in the bath for the first few days ho ho)

Too true, comeback. Also, what about stitches? Had an episiotomy and 1 week later noticed that one of the stitches had come out - was TOTALLY freaking til m/w told me it was one stitch, the rest were still in place and that they do 3 layers of stitches to keep you closed up. It was all fine - healed fine in the end, but OMG!!!

I gave birth on Monday, so this is all VERY fresh in my mind!
I am very glad that I had DH put my huge knickers and super absorbant maternity pad on before I got out of bed for the first time, as I wee'd everywhere. Would have been horribly embarrassing to have to call the nurse to clean it up.
And I had no idea how much my whole body would ache. Makes sense really, I did active birthing in loads of different positions, hanging off DH for hours etc. Having been too exhausted to do anything but a gentle aqua-aerobics class in pregnancy, I was doing the equivalent of a marathon with no warm-up. I can't wait to be able to turn over in bed without a second thought.

Piles piles piles Enough said.....

Nobody told me about the profuse sweating for several nights afterwards which drench the bedclothes.

oooooooooh the memories! It's all coming back - the horror of The First Poo, that you will make noises you never knew were possible, and i stole as many of those hospital pads as i could hide under my dressing gown! But who are all these mums taking their tiny babies out? I see them in the city, supermarket etc. Am i the only one who was genuinely scared to leave the house with my baby for 6 weeks in case someone stole him/looked at him/me/talked to us???

With dd2 I didn't poo until 10 days after the birth! What made it more worrying was that I lied to the midwife on about day 4 when she asked if I'd been yet,(with dd1 she'd given me a suppository and I wanted to avoid this.)As the days passed I kept calculating how many meals I'd had (lots due to breastfeeding) - thought I might actually die and it would be written on my gravestone 'SHE LIED TO THE MID-WIFE'!!

I had twins and I WISH someone had told me that a zinc deficiency can lead to stretch marks!!!

funny they say you forget the pain of labour and i have - so hear is are some trivial thoughts...
Jewellery - wear all your dangley earring while you can, as babies think that they are there to be pulled. In fact, most jewellery are dangerous toys for babies. However, the traditional gift of a diamond eternity ring could be is a cure for post natal depression

Clothes - Wear all your pretty dresses while you can - no, not just thinking about pregnancy, if you are breast feeding it is hard to be subtle if baby's only access to lunch is via a knee length hem!

Shoes - Wear high heals as you get untold brownie points from all your girlie friends and besides later on when, your feet look like Mrs.Shrek's, elegance is impossible.

When DS2 was born, I bought those Pamper disposable changing mats and took at few with me to hospital. Meant I could have clean sheets that night and used them for 2 weeks at home as well (as well as the giant pants and sanitary towels).

First Poo - total shocker and all the gunk - no one ever told me that.

The best thing I was told was "don't plan any visitors on the 3rd or 4th day as you WILL feel like crap". I duly didn't, and god was I glad. I was lucky enough to escape the 3 day blues, but my milk came in and my breasts swelled up bigger than the baby's head and throbbed as if I'd been shot. I spent the day wandering around the house with no bra on moaning gently and wondering why they didn't sell a TENS machine for engorged breasts.

What I wish I'd known - don't plan on getting back into your pre-pregnancy clothes any time soon as your body does not (necessarily) just "spring back" (even in your twenties, trust me!). What with the swollen stitches underneath, the saggy belly in the middle and the huge boobs above, it may be quite some time before you fit into that LBD.

Plus, buy some nursing bras and tops BEFORE you get pregnant. I planned to breast feed but it never even occurred to me that none of my tops were exactly "easy access" Horrid memories of sweatily rushing around H&M and Mothercare, trying on clothes and bras in progressively larger sizes, with milk spraying out of my breasts in the changing room and the baby wailing on the floor at my feet. Ooo happy days...

Sorry, not "before you get pregnant", I meant "before you give birth". Before you get pregnant would be a bit too organised...

funny they say you forget the pain of labour and i have - so hear is are some trivial thoughts...
Jewellery - wear all your dangley earring while you can, as babies think that they are there to be pulled. In fact, most jewellery are dangerous toys for babies. However, the traditional gift of a diamond eternity ring could be is a cure for post natal depression

Clothes - Wear all your pretty dresses while you can - no, not just thinking about pregnancy, if you are breast feeding it is hard to be subtle if baby's only access to lunch is via a knee length hem!

Shoes - Wear high heals as you get untold brownie points from all your girlie friends and besides later on when, your feet look like Mrs.Shrek's, elegance is impossible.

I wish I'd been told that contractions just feel like period pains. In ante-natal classes, the question "what do they feel like" was asked and answered, but I was never any the wiser. For me, they were just like very strong, elongated period pain - which is actually quite reassuring, as how bad can that be?

Hello there, I couldn't believe how many poos a newborn baby does - had assumed only 1 a day not 8. Agree on uselessness of family and am planning to keep visitors away longer this time rather than invite them all round immediately and spend lots of time hosting!

Other learning point - how much breast feeding can hurt espec if you get cracked nips. Worse than labour in my opinion

Things I was not told ?

That you would have a belly like jelly after not ?loose? like my mother told me but jelly like it had been added to your body as an after thought.

That during a C-section you CAN feel stuff going on and they seem to forget that you as a human do have ribs and it would be nice if they did not treat them as if they were pipe cleaners and could bend like them. A week after the birth I ended up in A&E with severe swollen and inflamed ribs.

That they take your uterus out and stuff it back in like Paxo.

That after a C-section you may not really feel anything for the little one I had 5 mins of elation after the birth then nothing for at least 2 weeks after I felt like I was a horrid mother no one told me this is a common thing to feel.

That your body can go into shock after a c-section and you may have trouble producing milk right away . All the midwifes said was put her on put her on . After 2 days my baby and me were very distressed and she had lost loads of weight so I thought I was doing something wrong and when the midwife came to see me the week after she had jaundice and I was told off for the amount of weight she had lost. I was never offered formula as well whilst I was there even as an option.

That your insides feel like they are moving around in there and that you will not be able to lay on your side again for the next 2 months because it feels like they are falling out.

The terrible terrible wind pain you get after a c-section which does not go no matter what you take for it or no matter how any times you go.

Hat you don?t get offer morphine after as pain relief only co-drytomol which do nothing.

OK - clearly getting addicted already to this (first day!) Having read whole thread was also surprised by:

• How long it can take to deliver placenta
• How I would sweat (proper BO sweat) for 2 weeks after birth
• Incontinence - for a long time, will I ever be the same?
• Orgasms - dare I say it, not as good - is it a uterine tone thing?

Get some witch hazel in for your bits. Works a treat for the stinging after a pee/poo. I ate loads of hobnobs & all bran for a 5 days before I had a poo. Went quite well after all that fiber.

You have contractions when brest feeding afer the baby's born, they hurt more than when I was in labour.

Cracked nipples are horrendous - get some lanoline on them and keep then exposed to air at all times (visitor will just have get used to it), 2 days later they were back to normal.

chortles The first poo is definitley horrible.

I had an epidural, though do remember the sensation of the baby's head coming down the birth canal and realising "I felt like I'd passed a watermelon" really did mean something. It also makes you feel like you're about to poo when you're not necessarily.

The think I really hated (and this is going to sound odd) was being in the ward at about 1am when the epidural was wearing off (This was 11 years ago so I think they might have moved on a bit since then) and I could feel an itch in my legs. However, when I went to scratch the itch, the skin on my legs was still numb. So I was scratching my skin raw whilst not actually making the itch any better. It was an odd, odd, odd feeling.

I must be weird to remember that. The birth is a blur of fatigue. Went into labour at 1am, not having slept and had dd at 5pm. Being awake for 35 hours really takes it out of you!