Things no-one tells you when you're pregnant!

[Emsie00]

Hi All,

When I was expecting I read all the usual books but still found myself thinking afterwards - why did no-one tell me that? I was talking to some friends who could all name a couple of things that they wish they had been told about, some were funny and some were really useful.

Here's a few of them;

1. If you want to breastfeed but cant for some reason the hospital gives you 3 options to choose from which are all free of charge whilst you are in. A) SMA formula B) Cow & Gate Formula C)Donated Breast Milk from another mother. You get to choose which you would like. I had naturally assumed that I would be able to feed my daughter so was completely unprepared to have to make this decision, especially after 19 hours of labour! So do your research beforehand and take your own if you dont like their options.

1. If you have to have an episiotomy don't be surprised if dr/midwife uses a pair of scissors. It took my husband weeks to get over what he had seen!!

1. I thought the suggestion of packing an Eye Mask in my labour bag was ridiculous, so never bought one. My daughter had to have phototherapy for 48 hours and I would have done anything to have had one to block out the blue light at night! There are also always lights on in the ward so it really does help to get you a better nights sleep.

Please add to this thread - With any luck it might help first time mum's to be

Breastfed babies get wind aswell, and can get asthma and constipated.
Midwives know nothing about breastfeeding.
fanny farts after vaginal birth.
You won't lose weight by breastfeeding.

Ooh another one - you can NEVER have too many maternity pads.I only took one pack first time.What was I thinking?

You need to find somewhere to put the breastpad whilst feeding, if at home they disappear down the sides of sofas etc only to be discovered by visitors and if out and about they fall on cafe floors or attract strange stares from bemused passers by.

I put on weight whilst brestfeeding both times.

Afterpains are much worse 2nd time round and apparently get worse everytime.

The poo thing definitely very scary and also the mw's obsession with asking about it everytime she comes round, no matter what friends or family may be there!

My milk never came through as such just gradually turned up, I never had any excess or squirting anywhere, never got huge boobs but I still managed to bf for over 6 months both times, just about!

Get a huge glass of water close to hand BEFORE you sit down and start breastfeeding. 3 mins into the feed you will experience a thirst like you've never experienced in your life.

a second for vomiting during delivery - was so shocked when started puking during transition with dd, couldn't work out wtf was going on!

Also dry lips during labour, I wasn't expecting that, take lipsalve and drink loads of water.

Yes Mrs Spoon. Twice I called out the wee ducking-and-diving washing machine repair man, only to have him hold aloft a breast pad each time. Luckily he had 6 kids and didn't bat an eyelid.

You will shout lots during labour.

LOL! Never had one make it's way into the washing machine!

Steal as many of those large square absorbent pads from the hospital as you can fit in your bag - then use them to keep your own bedlinen clean when you get back.

Disposable knickers are ghastly - my local midwife-run cottage hospital has knickers that are like tights with the legs cut off. They do a grand job of holding big towels in place. Steal those too! (Or cut legs off of your old tights if you're a nice law-abiding sort).

That hospital toilettes are higher than normal toilettes. I could sit down on hospital loo, but when I got hope and sat straight down on my lav...omg the pain thought id ripped my stitches. I kind of stood over the loo to wee after that. Twas a long time before I sat on the lav.
After pains...omg...I was literally crying my eyes out for the whole night after ds was born. No pain killer strong enough it was awful..did wear off though.
Yes was also shocked about the milk spraying like mad everywhere.
Oh and the uterus contracting back, I found this very painful and intense.

ment to say home not hope

the last few weeks are SORE

Haven't got anything else to add, but all that every one has mentioned is very familiar. Have got to say thanks to everyone as this thread has really made me laugh and cheered up my evening.

I am probably a bit of a dope, but I honestly didnt realise the pushing bit would take so long (about 2 hours) I thought that would be the easy bit, like in the movies, a couple of pushes and out baby pops. How wrong was I???

When I wasabout 2 days pregnant I rushed out to buy a book and turned straight to 'possible complications'. Was pretty horrified to read about ULCERATED varicose veins on your fanny!

What else...?

Blood squirting 6 feet across the room after I'd delivered but my womb hadn't clamped down quickly enough. I remember thinking it looked like a sketch off the Fast Show and would be really funny if it wasn't MY blood.

Little boys weeing in your eye when you change their nappies - but I was saved from this when my MW gave me the excellent advice to keep their balls warm by keeping them covered - they only wee when they get cold.

Feeling totally normal about 2 minutes after giving birth - how can you be in THAT MUCH pain then it just stops? Till the afterpains when you bf of course. Or if you need stitches.

People snoring on the maternity ward. MWs waking you up at 7 so you can meet all the other new mums. (Oh yes - I was REALLY impressed to be woken up at that time when I'd only come down from the delivery suite 2 hours before!)

The state of the bathrooms on the maternity ward. Even when I'd just given birth I could still be bothered to wipe the blood drips - but some people can't.

How fantastic it is to get home and sleep in your own bed.

People coming up and talking to you in Sainsbury's just because you've got a pink blob with you - then it feels really weird when everyone ignores you if you go shopping on your own

Bleeding during labor. I was horrified.

• That the first time you go for a pee when you've had two second degree tears will hurt like hell, in my experience a lot more than the actual labour! So will sitting in the bath.

• That you may well still look pregnant for a while. Remember going to get fitted for maternity bras when dd1 arrived early, the poor assistant actually thought I was still pregnant - dd1 was 2 days old, around the corner of the store with her dad! I am not so sensitive about things like that and actually thought it quite funny!

How badly your legs swell up afterwards.

I wish someone had told me that not all women feel a huge unconditional wave of love and euphoria when the baby finally arrives. The unshared feeling of guilt can be huge and so unnecessary. There are a whole range of emotions incl. a feeling of unexplanable loss when pregnancy ends. It doesn?t mean you are weird/bad mum etc, just that you are hormonal, tired and possibly even in shock.

Oh, yes, and that first poo...OUCH!!

Leave your dignity on the way in the hospital - unless you have had certain career lines such as life modelling, it can be quite daunting just how many people will come and stare at your bits down below with minimal introduction...

9wks pg with my first.

You have terrified me to my very core...

Oh my...have just weeks to go before EDD.

Scared now!

The midwife hounds you till you have had your first poo.. having had a c-section thought i would pop open..

went in to have my first, and the first thing I noticed in the delivery suite was the blood splats on the ceiling.
Did nothing to relax me!
Take an old plastic jug with you to pour water over your sore bits while you pee.
EVery midwife calls you 'Mum'. Even if she's 30 years older than you.I hated this. It made me feel as if that was my only identity from then on.