Things no-one tells you when you're pregnant!

[Emsie00]

Hi All,

When I was expecting I read all the usual books but still found myself thinking afterwards - why did no-one tell me that? I was talking to some friends who could all name a couple of things that they wish they had been told about, some were funny and some were really useful.

Here's a few of them;

1. If you want to breastfeed but cant for some reason the hospital gives you 3 options to choose from which are all free of charge whilst you are in. A) SMA formula B) Cow & Gate Formula C)Donated Breast Milk from another mother. You get to choose which you would like. I had naturally assumed that I would be able to feed my daughter so was completely unprepared to have to make this decision, especially after 19 hours of labour! So do your research beforehand and take your own if you dont like their options.

1. If you have to have an episiotomy don't be surprised if dr/midwife uses a pair of scissors. It took my husband weeks to get over what he had seen!!

1. I thought the suggestion of packing an Eye Mask in my labour bag was ridiculous, so never bought one. My daughter had to have phototherapy for 48 hours and I would have done anything to have had one to block out the blue light at night! There are also always lights on in the ward so it really does help to get you a better nights sleep.

Please add to this thread - With any luck it might help first time mum's to be

Oh... and how lonely your belly feels with no baby wriggling around in it.

That the love you feel for your baby will be such a peaceful, gentle and quiet sort of feeling that you wish you could bottle it and give it to all the people making wars in the world because then things would be ok everywhere.

The best thing I did for myself was to eat two fruits and a yoghurt everyday for four days so my first poo was almost like water.

piles

whilst preg, then the huge ones afterwards
that you may get broken veins all over you face from pushing

HV's They never actually tell you that your instincts will be the best thing for deciding what to do with your DC. Such as when to start solids, whether to let cry. They like to think they are the authorities because they have helped countless parent before hand - but evry child is different!

Ooh and that you might actually feel really really horny after, I couldn't wait for my bones to be jumped after having ds. Think that all the pushing had brought my essential down below pleasure bits closer to the surface- the seam on my jeans was my best friend for a number of weeks after the birth

Felt like a complete outcast for this too though as other new mum pals looked at me as if I was lying

crying at shania twain songs - yuck, yuck, YUCK!

crying - just crying

That's true!! I kept up eye-ing up loads of men, but it was so frustrating because everything really hurt so I couldn't do anything about it... (With dh of course!)

This is a bit negative but I think women need to be ready to be VERY VOCAL if necessary during delivery. I ended up with an emergency section and the anaesthetic wore off half way through. The surgical team completely ignored me when I said I was in pain and asked how much longer it would be. I was in shock so didn't scream but kept saying "OW!". If I could rewind I would shout a damn site louder. Also none warns you that shock can stop milk let down and I was NOT ALLOWED to give my starving baby any formula for days because at Harrogate district hospital "breast is best" !!!

On a positive note, I did not know about the massive hormonal high that I would get for the first week. It was just the BEST BEST natural high, like being on Ecstacy 24 hours a day for a whole week. Oh, I want to do it all over again now!

That after giving birth you will feel as though you have actually been in a car crash. that you may not feel euphoric and in instant love - indeed you may spend 10 days crying pretty much all day long and wondering why anyone every thought it would be a good idea to have a child... that the first two weeks are worse than a living HELL. but then it suddenly gets ok...

but also that all the hideous back ache, complete exhaustion and general fat-as-a-house issues of pregnancy magically disappear straight away. i actually have more energy with a month old baby and am less tired (despite him being up every 3 hours) than i was in the late stages of pregnancy.

that when you do finally fall in love with your offspring (and you will) it is the most amazing feeling - the downside being that you realise you will NEVER love anyone, including the child's father, as much as you love your baby... and that it is almost impossible to be interested in anything else.

ALSO, that if you are breastfeeding the ravenous hunger will be constant - get loads of snacks so that you always have food nearby... in the middle of the night you will be thankful for a banana and a cereal bar and a yoghurt...

this reminds me of more...I had a sore throat and a cracked voice, and agony in my right hand.

from plenty of gas and air and shouting, and from gripping the gas and air thing for 12 hours.

I am tall, so all of the hosp beds were too short for me, I never thought to moan for a bed extender...even tho a disinterested midwife did tell me they existed after noticing my feet uncomfortably hanging off either side of the end of the bed: but she didnt offer to actually 'get' me one. Cow.

god I have to have a Csection with baby2 after nasty 3rd degree tear, after reading this thread not so sure...

During labour there will come a point when you totally lose your sense of humour, it might only be for a few mins or it could be for a few hours, make sure your partner knows you well enough to spot the signs and help you out. I had a student midwife watching and bless her she was desperate to help, cracking jokes etc til my DH politely (well more politely than I would of!) told her to back away from the screaming lady. My sense of humour came back after about 30 mins, but I was glad he was there to step in. The student midwife turned out to be very helpful, she'd never been at a birth before and was overcome when my DS came, it was a special moment for all of us and I'm proud that my DS was her first birth.
Also the mess!!!!!!!! I has no idea giving birth was so messy. I know it sounfds stupid but OMG!!
take loads of maternity pads and buy cheap pants from Tesco etc to save your good knicks getting ruined.

fanjo will be looked at far more than any one would like, in fact, mw actually drew a sketch of mine

LOL at the 'first poo' comments! A box of all-bran should be in everyone's hospital bag!

Take a pillow with you whenever you go into hospital....they are always in short supply and it's great to have extra when trying to bf.

Take slippers/flip flops/slip on shoes that have a wipe clean quality! Blood drips are a problem and you just won't want your feet to touch the bathroom floor. Take a small pack of antiseptic wipes for the toilet etc...no matter how clean the hospital, lots of new Mums have accidents and don't or maybe can't clean them up.

I was shocked by how loud some women were snoring, but then woke myself up later that night snoring like a pig!!

Just accept that wards are noisy places.....don't let it wind you up, try to find a bit of blitz spirit, be realistic about it before hand and try to grab sleep when you can. In most cases it's not for long and it makes it feel sooooo good when you get home to your own space.

1. Your brain never quite returns to normal. Even if you had a brain the size of a planet before you dear sweet arrival it will have shrunk to the size were you start a sentence and forget what you were saying before you get to the end.
2. First babys do not necessarily mean long labours. I thought I was in for at least a twelve hour labour when my ds was 14 days late. It took less than 2 hours from start to finish which was a big shock.
3. No one told me that you could experience all of your contraction pains in your lower back and no where else. I had no abdominal pain at all.
4. Small, fast babies can sometimes cause your uterus to prolapse a few months after birth and there is not a lot you can do to prevent it. since mine happened I have discovered it affects more of us than I first thought.
5. If you have a home birth planned make sure you have a very clear idea, discussed with your nearest and dearest, of what you want if you go into hospital. I had the worst expereince because my dh was very frightened when it all started going a bit fast and he just agreed with everything the professionals said. This can leave you feeling powerless and a bit abandoned.

Having said all of that ds is a gorgeous, contented 6 month old now and we are planning when to have the next one!

Haven't read through them all - has anyone mentioned big ginormous pants in case you have a cesaerean? Normal pants finish just on the scar and are really uncomfortable. So take some giant pants in if you're due for a c/s. HUGE big bellywarmer ones. Bigger than your nan's.

I'm clearly a freak as my stitches didn't sting at all when I peed!

If you are feeling a bit too shaky to make it to the shower after the birth and you are offered a bed bath be aware that this might involve someone coming at you with a washing up bowl and a J cloth!

Get someone to bring you food if you have to stay in hospital for more than a few hours! Hospital food is awful - I ended up there for 5 days and I would have starved if hospital food was all I had to eat. I ordered a baked potato every day for lunch as an experiment to see if one day it would actually be cooked enough to eat. I'm pleased to report it was on day 5. Fortunately, DH brought me lunch every day and my mum brought me dinner. Lots of fruit and plenty of water helps get that 1st poop over and done with as quickly as possible too .

On the pregnancy side of things, No-one told me just how much you trump. DH practically dis-owned me

Nothing you can really do about it, unless you carry a small dog around to blame it on... maybe Paris Hilton has a gas problem too

Noone EVER mentioned this, I found out myself by accident and feel I have to spread the word...
I had a c'section and about 5/6wks after the birth I was resting in bed one day and decided to ahem...'sort myself out'...iykwim...oh my god, when it got to point of orgasm I nearly fainted with the pain! It was awful and I couldn't stop, each wave of orgasm brought with it excruiating contraction type pains! ARGH!!!

(this involved no penetration, just fingers - lol! TMI I know)

I can laugh about it now but will definately be leaving it a good 8wks before I try this time!

Ladies...lets be careful out there!

Just thought I'd add one on, I don't know if I was ever told or not, but I didn't realise that I'd bleed for weeks afterwards. I knew I had to take heavy duty sanitary towels to hospital with me but I never really clicked. Was also very surprised when I found out it's for weeks rather than days...

Also they never told me that when the cord stump dries up and drops off it's really gory inside and leaves a hole which has to scab over - I had the midwife out as I thought DD's insides were going to fall out!

i didn't realise that your boobs leak milk even if not breastfeeding. Must have been so naive. woke up drenched!!