Things no-one tells you when you're pregnant!

[Emsie00]

Hi All,

When I was expecting I read all the usual books but still found myself thinking afterwards - why did no-one tell me that? I was talking to some friends who could all name a couple of things that they wish they had been told about, some were funny and some were really useful.

Here's a few of them;

1. If you want to breastfeed but cant for some reason the hospital gives you 3 options to choose from which are all free of charge whilst you are in. A) SMA formula B) Cow & Gate Formula C)Donated Breast Milk from another mother. You get to choose which you would like. I had naturally assumed that I would be able to feed my daughter so was completely unprepared to have to make this decision, especially after 19 hours of labour! So do your research beforehand and take your own if you dont like their options.

1. If you have to have an episiotomy don't be surprised if dr/midwife uses a pair of scissors. It took my husband weeks to get over what he had seen!!

1. I thought the suggestion of packing an Eye Mask in my labour bag was ridiculous, so never bought one. My daughter had to have phototherapy for 48 hours and I would have done anything to have had one to block out the blue light at night! There are also always lights on in the ward so it really does help to get you a better nights sleep.

Please add to this thread - With any luck it might help first time mum's to be

I didn't realise until several weeks afterwards, in hindsight, that hospital MWs know very little about breastfeeding. Had no idea I would receive such conflicting advice e.g. if it hurts its wrong/ of course it will hurt; that positioning looks right/ that positioning is wrong; etc. I think this was a big factor in breastfeeding going wrong and having to partially formula feed.
The advice should be:
baby will NOT know what to do and may well not be interested in feeding from you;
baby will develop two extra sets of arms and legs when you try to latch him on;
milk let down is agonising and will be for many weeks;
the babies in the leaflets with wide open mouths are about 4 months old - your newborn will not have a big enough mouth to latch on correctly.
Still perservering though!

Keep going Twinklemegan! I had a horrendous time to start with (well for three months to be precise) but my ds is now 6 months, still breast fed and is thriving. I completely agree though that most hospital MWs give out vastly conflicting advice. If it wasn't for the support of my community MWs I would have given up after the first week.

My baby spent the first 5 weeks of her life in the SCBU. Nobody prepares you for this, every countdown to childbirth book devotes only a paragraph or two to it. Suddenly the SCBU becomes your whole life and you have no idea what is going on. I felt like I was living in a bubble. After a couple of weeks hubby and I ventured out to the supermarket and everything felt too bright, too loud and too fast. Wished that I had a sign round my neck saying "my two week old baby is in the Special Care Baby Unit, please be nice to me"

Also that you only feel like a real mum once you get your baby home, up until that point going home and leaving her every night made it feel like we were just pretending at being parents.

Oh and going home three days after my C-Section and realising how uneven the roads are and the utter b%$&ard man who invented speed bumps should be made to have his tummy sliced open then be driven around to see how he likes it!

I didn't realise how bloody disabling SPD can get and how little midwifes care about it.

Noone tells you how bad the afterpains are, they get worse with each one. By the time i had baby #5 i asked my partner to call the midwife back as i was SURE there was another baby coming out. I breastfed and everytime i fed it was awful, i took more painkillers for them than for the actual labour. Im due in May and dreading not the birth but the afterpains....

Sorry to be so miserable about it but just think it cant be that bad i keep doing it again