Cardiac arrest during elective caesarian section. Nevergoogle in need of a bit of support.

[nevergoogle]

DS3, who is a lovely bundle of loveliness, arrived by elective c-section a week ago.

For unknown reasons (so far) I had a cardiac arrest during the surgery where my heart slowed to a complete stop. I was resuscitated with CPR and adrenaline before surgery was completed and I was transferred to intensive care. All tests so far point to an otherwise healthy heart. (Usual obs monitoring, ECG's and US)

In time I will be having follow up input from cardiology/anaesthetics/obgyn/perinatal mental health team/intensive care psychology. I'm now home wearing a 24 hour heart trace.

We haven't announced this in RL (apart from close friends and family), so if you know me please be discrete, we're still getting our heads around what happened.

But just WTF? How do I process this? How do I rebuild myself, DH and I feel completely steamrollered. All the while DS3 is BFing on demand 2 hourly, and I have all the usual c-section recovery to contend with. The other two children aren't aware but are starting to question why I keep crying and me saying I'm just so happy to be their mum is being met with .

I have zero concentration, tv/radio/music is just noise, I can't face phonecalls/visitors and apart from a birth announcement on facebook I just can't do it. I'm not even sure i'm ready for this thread so may bow out if it gets overwhelming.

On the upside, DH and I are being spectacularly kind and patient with each other and the children. We are having lots of quality time and keeping life simple and there is an atmosphere of calm in between my moments of despair and sobbing.

Anybody been through similar?

When I had my ELCS my heart rate also slowed right down-I heard the words "she is going to crash" & remember thinking oh shit, but thanks to a brilliant anaesthetist and a shit load of drugs, as well as them turning the table with me on it back and forth, they did prevent it.

My heart is fine as yours is, I think we just all maybe respond to drugs (spinals etc) differently, so re: above and someone mentioning negligence and taking action that is just rubbish and should be put out of your mind. It won't help and would probably hinder your recovery.

It will take time. Take all the help and therapy offered to you by professional and your lovely family. I wish you peace and happiness together.

A cs is huge surgery when all is routine, let alone when you have complications. I am always amazed that we are supposed to be so bouncy and cheery after a long and invasive op.

If you don't feel like seeing folk, then don't. With a bf baby and the lack of sleep, plus 2 other children to care for, you can blame extreme tiredness for being unavailable for a while til you feel stronger.

Take care and very best wishes.

So sorry to hear this nevergoogle. Congratulations on your DS, and really hope thing start to get better for soon . Best wishes from everyone at MNHQ.

If your recovery goes anything like mine (fingers crossed) you will be fine. I've likened my near-death experience to the grieving process, as it kinda went

*Shock
*Anger (wanting to blame someone, even though there is no-one to blame, as we've jusy been extremely unlucky. My case is so rare it is to be published in the BMJ)
*Disbelief - why me? It's not fair.
*Sadness (but my toddler helped fix this, as did my friends, family and dh)
*Acceptance. Ok, something truly horrific happened, but I had a fantastic medical team and we're all here and everything is fine now.

My son is almost 12 weeks now and I'm not showing any signs of ptsd thankfully. Yes I missed the first two weeks of his life, but we've got the rest of our lives together to make lots of happy memories.

I was upset that I have no memories of his birth, but that's how our minds work; they block out trauma, or should.

How are you feeling today op?

DIdn't want to read and run either.
OMG, you poor thing, how traumatic. This will take some time, as a pp said, this is a grief. I think your emotions and feelings, poor memory concentration etc are totally normal. I think it sounds like you're all doing incredibly well. But you and your baby are here and well.
Nothing near your experience, but I also had a c/section on both DCs. On my second, the consutant told me that my womb was paper-thin, she could see my baby's hair thru it. Had I gone into labour it would have been catastrophic, I would have ruptured, (could have ruptured at any time in late pregnancy,) my baby...etc, am finding it hard to write actually. It really shook me for a long time. No one 'got' it, cos we were alive and well. Someone told me to light a candle or have a small some kind of ceremony and honour the experience, the fact that I didn't rupture, and perhaps for those who weren't as lucky as me. When the time is right something like that might help you.
Take all the support offered. I think breast feeding helped me. Hardly a day goes by without my feeling grateful for a healthy child and a well me.
Wishing all of you the very best.

That's such a lovely post 1944girl. I'm so sorry to hear about your traumatic birth stories, can't imagine how difficult it must have been back then. The advances in medicine are just phenomenal aren't they? I'm sure your granddaughter will be just fine in Nov - congratulations

Congratulation on your little ds3.
What a shock though. No advice but handholding and prayjng that it turns into one of those mystery things that never even comes close to happening again xx

Thanks. Had a rough night with cluster feeding until about 3.30am but then managed two longer 3 hour sleeps and this time I was just exhausted enough to actually sleep too. Somehow managed to get onto my side which is my favourite sleeping position and have woken with rib pain I assume from the CPR. Should just be bruising as they did a chest x-ray I'm told.

Today has been ok so far. Reading your posts on here made me get proactive on the arse of PTSD/PND and I called my GP and he came round. He's happy that I am stable enough mood wise that we can take some time to decide on managing my mood and take time to consult with peri-natal psychiatry and cardiology. My concentration isn't great and it took all my brain power to read the instructions on a family sized frozen lasagne.

A fabulous friend of mine came round and made me laugh on her way from a tribal drumming therapy workshop . She hates babies generally and her extreme views would have her called troll on here. She was hilariously clueless but did bring a freezer full of meals and treats. The highlight was her having to leave the room while I breastfed. She sat in the kitchen staring at the ceiling, rocking, yelling that she finds it disgusting and could he hurry up. I suggested the Stevie Wonder impression was an overreaction. Well it was the giggle DH and I needed. She's off trekking in Nepal next week where she will be much more comfortable. I on the other hand just don't 'do' horses.

Lol at your friemd. Never mind her opinions on babies at the moment you need support and it sounds like she's doing that well. Wish we could help.

Your friend sounds awesome :)

Food, treats and giggles sound like excellent support to me.

And on a similar note may I direct you to []www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2047010-The-other-day-a-man-in-a-red-shawl-played-a-didgeridoo-into-my-babys-ear-as-I-breastfed-her this thread]] as distraction your friend might fit in well with?!

[]www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2047010-The-other-day-a-man-in-a-red-shawl-played-a-didgeridoo-into-my-babys-ear-as-I-breastfed-her]]

Try again!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2047010-The-other-day-a-man-in-a-red-shawl-played-a-didgeridoo-into-my-babys-ear-as-I-breastfed-her

Oh for God's sake! :)

I love my friend and her opinions. When we first met she told me she would never have children. The only way it may be allowable would be as a "by-product" of an otherwise great relationship with a man who absolutely had to have children. There would be a surrogate, and a full time staff of nannies and he would have to agree to pay for that too.
I find her refreshingly honest. The mere fact she turned up here is testimony to how she values our friendship.
She said my baby was 'actually not that bad, not spotty or anything'

We're slowly letting local friends know what happened and asking them to share the info discretely to save us from having to keep repeating it all. Lots of offers of help and support. Difficult to know what anybody can do.
Can't exactly ask them to finish painting the bathroom.

Pottering, thanks, I have posted on that thread. I do love a good silly mumsnet thread.

"Not that bad" sounds like high praise indeed!

Well he nust be gorgeous then.
yes you can ask them to paint!

Debrief debrief debrief.
Nothing on the scale of your experience, but a fairly oh-fuck delivery left me feeling very spaced for a long time. I think you just have to keep processing it. One day you'll realise you're thinking about it rather than worrying about it. Sounds like you have lots of lovely support to help you on your way.
The key thing for me was a good in depth debrief, so I knew what happened, snd what they did about it. I found knowing helped me move on from worrying.
I do vividly remember the first time I was out of hospital driving through the city and seeing hundreds of people thinking 'well how did they all get here, because it can't have been like THAT!'
Congratulations on DS.

Congratulations nevergoogle on your new ds!
I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling just now. It is definitely possible that it was a reaction to the drugs you were given. Although this fact doesn't change the horrendous experience you've just had it means there is no reason for it ever to happen again.
After 2 very easy births I had an awful time with the third including a very scary trip to delivery when local
midwife thought we were losing/had lost him on my due date and a huge pp bleed. i spent the first couple of weeks in a bit of a daze AAnd quite angry with some of the medical team who cared for me. 6 months on its eeasier to have perspective and appreciate my gorgeous ds3. I ssecond giving yourself time before a debrief.

Sorry for typos feeding and typing doesn't work!

You know, you can actually ask people to finish painting the bathroom. My FIL is a lovely bloke, but would struggle to 'support' you in this scenario. OTOH, if he was your neighbour and found out your bathroom needed finishing off....

Just let it slip out and see if someone volunteers. Lots of people like giving practical help.