DS3, who is a lovely bundle of loveliness, arrived by elective c-section a week ago.
For unknown reasons (so far) I had a cardiac arrest during the surgery where my heart slowed to a complete stop. I was resuscitated with CPR and adrenaline before surgery was completed and I was transferred to intensive care. All tests so far point to an otherwise healthy heart. (Usual obs monitoring, ECG's and US)
In time I will be having follow up input from cardiology/anaesthetics/obgyn/perinatal mental health team/intensive care psychology. I'm now home wearing a 24 hour heart trace.
We haven't announced this in RL (apart from close friends and family), so if you know me please be discrete, we're still getting our heads around what happened.
But just WTF? How do I process this? How do I rebuild myself, DH and I feel completely steamrollered. All the while DS3 is BFing on demand 2 hourly, and I have all the usual c-section recovery to contend with. The other two children aren't aware but are starting to question why I keep crying and me saying I'm just so happy to be their mum is being met with 
.
I have zero concentration, tv/radio/music is just noise, I can't face phonecalls/visitors and apart from a birth announcement on facebook I just can't do it. I'm not even sure i'm ready for this thread so may bow out if it gets overwhelming.
On the upside, DH and I are being spectacularly kind and patient with each other and the children. We are having lots of quality time and keeping life simple and there is an atmosphere of calm in between my moments of despair and sobbing.
Anybody been through similar?
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Childbirth
Cardiac arrest during elective caesarian section. Nevergoogle in need of a bit of support.
nevergoogle · 06/04/2014 23:07
Blimey he is exceptionally cute. 
for all the nevergoogle family.
I had PTSD after giving birth, my HV was absolutely fantastic. The debrief was also very helpful, so it's good you're following up on those.
How is your DH? He must have been terrified.
the other two are being incredible. although they haven't been told anything other than the prep I gave them for the c-section recovery, they are being incredibly well behaved and lovely. i had prepared them for catheters, maybe drips, me not walking and for me to be in pain. of course the reality was this in extreme, they seemed reassured by my 'oh that, that is just counting my heart beats, that's what they do for new mummies'. they don't know any different. when i'm feeling ready we'll have a brief chat about how I was a bit more ill than normal and that's why we've been a bit more stressy.
DS1 is like a mother hen sitting watch over his baby brother and says he never realised how tiring it would be! (despite 10 hour long sleeps!)
UniS, we've had to set up the rollers in the garden to keep DS1 happy while we're stuck at home more than usual. They've gone out to a soft play place this morning with DH to burn off some energy.
i'm managing out for a walk along the path every day which helps my back and rib pain and the fresh air and sunshine is pure therapy. had to oblige to wearing a walkie talkie which i clipped to the back of my trousers. the kids made farting noises and played 'i like big butts' down the walkie talkie providing me with offensive musical trousers 
.
my god my children are amazing. i cannot die. cannot derail their amazingness.
ah that's important as you know!
10 years ago when we announce we were pregnant with DS1, his mother's first reaction was 'what? and after all that cycling??!!' I think she'd assumed there would be no grandchildren from DH. 
the boys are currently drawing black and white contrast pictures for the baby.
Hi I just came across this in active convos and couldn't not reply
Congratulations on your beautiful baby 
I'm so sorry hear of everything you went through. I went through sort of similar, (I arrested twice during my emergency c section and was in icu for weeks) the best thing advice I can think of if to be gentle with yourself, your dh sounds lovely, and laughter really does help. (The knickers comment made me laugh out loud )
It took a long while for me to begin to feel like myself again, not necessarily a bad thing I don't think, I'm happier actually, and though it sounds a terrible cliche that feeling of being so grateful for what I have hasn't faded over time.
I also found a full debrief with the drs and talking on here helped immensely.
Please feel free to pm me if you'd like to chat.
i think that's where i'm at at the moment. I've never felt so contented with everything the way it is.
it really does help to know i'm not the only one to have experienced this and that there needn't be a lifetime of ptsd to look forward to.
i've never really recovered from ds1's traumatic birth and subsequent illness. he was born by emcs, blue for 5 minutes, then grunting. diagnosed with group b strep pneumonia and treated for meningitis. tube fed, unable to be held, dreadful problems feeding due to breathing problems before finally establishing bf at 8 weeks by which time he'd lost a lot of his 9lb birth weight. meanwhile i had developed septicaemia.
for me that feels more traumatic than my arrest. sick baby trumps sick me everytime.
do you think maybe childbirth and i don't mix? 
ds2 was fine btw. textbook elcs.
i don't want chiildbirth trauma to get in the way of just getting with my job as mum and enjoying my babies. i just won't stand for it dammit.
Aw, your latest LittleDragon is just absolutely edible
The sight of his chubby newborn cheeks could almost make me broody… …. naaaa! I am SO done, like you wouldn't believe . There's great freedom and certainty in that feeling, so I hope that your don't feel robbed in any way by recent events.
And I totally get what you mean about sick baby trumping sick self - I've felt the same with DS2's premature delivery.
You sound so totally blissed out - long may it continue 
Just popped on to see how you were. The pics of your ds are lovely! He looks perfect. We have more in common now too, as I suffered with months of hyperemesis last year, and my ds was born by elcs weighing 8lb 4oz, and is the 3rd boy in our home
Gosh your ds1's birth story is scary too. Mine was just emcs due to undiagnosed breech. Chose an elcs this time as it was/is to be my last baby and wanted a happy, peaceful birth experience....ah well, you can't always get what you want eh? So I too think I don't suit pregnancy or childbirth. We're looking into a vasectomy for dh in due course but we're sticking to abstinence for now.
Can I ask if ds1 has any long-term health problems from his meningitis please? (Don't worry if you'd rather not say, I'm just intrigued as obviously that is what I was in ICU with).
thankfully the gbs never made it to spinal fluid/meningitis, 'only' the lungs. the antibiotics given were at meningitis doses though.
he had a lot of breathing/respiratory problems in the first year. hospitalised with bronchiolitis etc
now aged 9, he cycles competitively and is all about sport.
for long enough his birth left me feeling unlucky. the odds of prolonged rupture of membranes, foetal distress, GBS infection were so slight. why me? i now see that we are lucky.
and again this time!
narrowly escaping complete tragedy might be my 'thing'
you may see us there. i'm hoping to spend a few weeks in nessie hunting territory over the summer. i don't remember the thread though
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