DS3, who is a lovely bundle of loveliness, arrived by elective c-section a week ago.
For unknown reasons (so far) I had a cardiac arrest during the surgery where my heart slowed to a complete stop. I was resuscitated with CPR and adrenaline before surgery was completed and I was transferred to intensive care. All tests so far point to an otherwise healthy heart. (Usual obs monitoring, ECG's and US)
In time I will be having follow up input from cardiology/anaesthetics/obgyn/perinatal mental health team/intensive care psychology. I'm now home wearing a 24 hour heart trace.
We haven't announced this in RL (apart from close friends and family), so if you know me please be discrete, we're still getting our heads around what happened.
But just WTF? How do I process this? How do I rebuild myself, DH and I feel completely steamrollered. All the while DS3 is BFing on demand 2 hourly, and I have all the usual c-section recovery to contend with. The other two children aren't aware but are starting to question why I keep crying and me saying I'm just so happy to be their mum is being met with 
.
I have zero concentration, tv/radio/music is just noise, I can't face phonecalls/visitors and apart from a birth announcement on facebook I just can't do it. I'm not even sure i'm ready for this thread so may bow out if it gets overwhelming.
On the upside, DH and I are being spectacularly kind and patient with each other and the children. We are having lots of quality time and keeping life simple and there is an atmosphere of calm in between my moments of despair and sobbing.
Anybody been through similar?
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Childbirth
Cardiac arrest during elective caesarian section. Nevergoogle in need of a bit of support.
nevergoogle · 06/04/2014 23:07
Sorry to have disappeared. A few bad nights with the baby but back on track now.
The debrief was good I think. They gave me a run through of what happened and why. I had to probe for more detail like the names of the drugs given rather than 'we gave you something to raise your blood pressure' etc but as expected there was no definitive reason why this happened.
One theory is a reaction to the epidural but I didn't start to drop my heart rate until 15 minutes after baby was born, so it's unusual to have an adverse reaction at that point.
Another theory is that it happened shortly after the oxytocin injection, so maybe a reaction to that.
Another theory is that it's linked to the 'vasovagal syncope' which they are now calling 'unexplained collapse'.
One interesting point that I was completely unaware of is that my HR had started to drop prior to me noticing and saying I felt unwell. They had already given me two drugs when it initially dropped to about 40 bpm, but there was no improvement, only dropped further. Reassuring to know that they were aware of the problem and treating it before I said anything as I'd felt that it was me that was the first to notice there was a problem.
I explained that although I felt good in my mood, I am struggling with concentration. Then I forgot the word 'memory' so couldn't explain that I felt my memory was a problem too. i said how i feel is similar to how i felt after an RTA aged 16 when i was diagnosed with PTSD. They have written to the healthy psychologist to try to expediate the referral that should have gone in from ITU.
In the end, I thanked them for saving my life and my baby which felt like the right thing to do. I'm sure they get a lot of criticism and have to be on the defence at a debrief.
I've also had a wound infection but am getting better without antibiotics thankfully. And GP didn't think a supervised exercise referral was warranted so I'm just gradually increasing my walking distance although 3 miles is plenty at the moment.
So the next step is cardiology appointment and healthy psychologist.
OMG Nevergoogle, I can't imagine how I missed this! Congratulations on your beyewtiful little baby dragonb, but what an event!
I have read all your posts, and most of the others, and think it's possible that you are still in some level of shock. It can take some time to fully wear off, if it ever does (I still don't think I've ever really got over the shock of my Mum dying when I was 19w pg with DS1, and he's 6.5 now) but you should be able to help it along now that you've had your debrief, and with the psych appts you are getting organised. I'm pleased to hear that your docs/team etc. have been so good so far!
Sounds like your DH and DC have been utterly brilliant - and your new baby is scrummy, of course - but you do have to continue to give yourself time and space to recuperate. The lack of concentration that you were (are?) experiencing is likely also related to the shock, although sleep deprivation won't be helping it!
for you - hope things start to look up soon.
Oh - re the knees - this may or may not help you. I was in the UK in April, which is probably how I missed the start of this thread (less MNing!) and I was being slack about taking my usual multivit/mineral and oils (I still take pregnacare daily, and mumomega fish oils daily (still bf'ing DS2) and 4000IU vit D3) - in fact, I didn't take them for about a week - and suddenly my knees started playing up, being stiff when I woke up in the morning, clicking when I went up the stairs, that kind of thing.
I'd had it years ago - the aching stiffness in the morning, mostly - but hadn't had it for years since taking the supplements. And then after ~a week of forgetting to take them, it was back! So of course I made sure I got back into the routine of taking them again and the knee stiffness/ache has receded again, not completely gone, but definitely got better.
My point: you might benefit from taking supplements - I can't tell you whether it's the oils or the multivit/min that makes the most difference, could be either, could be both - I know that manganese and magnesium insufficiency could both contribute to the achey pains, but so could a few other things. Worth a try?
If it is more of an arthritic/arthropathic complaint, then you could try tart cherry juice instead - available online or from H&B - it's very good for joint pains (and for muscle recovery, could have helped with your ribs if I'd only seen this before!). It's costly but worth it - it's very good.
Sorry for epic post - hope your concentration can cope with it! xx
Never
A mix of stoicism, got to get on with it and derealisation. And what you are feeling is totally normal in the circumstances.
Many women feel this shades of this after a traumatic birth, a super swift birth and the shock of finding ones life irrevocably changed by Motherhood.
Time heals but do see that psychologist. 
googly, sweetheart! I'm sorry I.missed your thread. I was only thinking the other day I didn't know how long you'd got left and hoped I didn't miss the birth announcement.
I've read the whole thread, and yes, csn totally understand how you feel detached from it, almost like this kind of thing happens to other people. it's also a normal reaction for your body and brain.to keep going.
you sound satisfied by the debriefing.
I.am also mindful of the fact that that picture of your new ds is a few weeks old now and you really do need to update it....
perhaps i've had enough CBT and counselling in my life to recognise 'what ifs' as unhelpful though patterns and not to dwell on them.
but yes the post natal, what if i fell down the stairs, dropped the baby in the bath, left the baby somewhere thoughts are there but i'm sure that's all normal. those thoughts are not overwhelming.
the unrealness perhaps comes from absolutely no memory of the traumatic part, the cpr. but also being a HCP and having done CPR myself, perhaps there's no mystery to what was done while I was unconscious so no worry. it just was a necessity, a physical act and it worked hurrah!
baby is 6 weeks old tomorrow. 
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