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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Episiotomies aren't all that bad

151 replies

Mummy2014 · 02/02/2014 18:09

I'm a first time mummy & tearing / being cut was such a worry & a concern for me, that it almost had me asking for a C Section.

However, my baby boy was delivered via ventouse 13 days ago & I needed an episiotomy. As soon as the consultant walked in - I PANICKED!! But, there really wasn't any need, after being numbed "down there" he cut & my boy was delivered.

Whilst it wasn't pleasant in the slightest, and the first 2/3 days were very sore, overall it wasn't as bad as I had expected. 13 days later my stitches have dissolved & after a sneaky peak, everything looks back to normal (although I'm fully aware more healing is required!)

I just wanted to share my experience & reassure people that it really isn't that bad & try not to worry if you can help it.

I know this isn't the case for everyone, but just wanted to share my experience.

OP posts:

scrufhead · 04/02/2014 15:32

hahaha you bite at anything!! chill out.

atthestrokeoftwelve · 04/02/2014 15:39

Are you bored today scrufhead?

scrufhead · 04/02/2014 15:43

a little. not as bored as some of you obviously.

CoteDAzur · 04/02/2014 17:00

For your sake, I hope you are very young

You know what? Forget my earlier kind wishes.

I hope life teaches you what it is like to not be able to forget a horrific experience, and then to be mocked by a clueless twat

Now have a lovely day.

elQuintoConyo · 04/02/2014 20:44

^^ 'clueless twat' rather on the theme of the thread!

There IS a 'fluffy births' thread or two around Mumsnet, as there is a fantastic supportive thread called 'any old prolapse' (or something, can't think exactly what) for those of us who need/would like some support or even just feel like we're not alone, on the theme of battered fanjos.

zebbidy · 07/02/2014 03:44

Mine wasn't too bad on the day, scary experience when a room full of doctors appear and tell you there's a need to get the baby out quick though! It's the healing after, I was totally unexpected for the possibility of an episitomy and so the pain really took over and shocked me. I expected to be able to enjoy my baby but cried at the pain daily and was miserable. It's really affected how I think back on my birth experience , only 7 weeks postpartum and dread my next already.

basia2 · 09/02/2014 22:52

Agreed; they are not.
I've had two: with my first child, and my last.
My middle son was premature and tiny; he came fast (was actually delivered on a stretcher in the hallway), and there was no time for an episiotomy, but I also didn't tear.
They are not a big deal.
The contractions are what hurts. The skin is stretched so tight down there by the time the baby comes that I never notice the cutting/tearing or the stitches afterward.
And weirdly, I don't seem to have any noticeable scars, despite all the cutting and stitches.
I guess that area of our bodies just heals really well.

CoteDAzur · 09/02/2014 23:06

Here comes another one

RTFT.

basia2 · 10/02/2014 01:05

If that RTFT was aimed at me, I am NOT going to read this entire thread; it's 135 posts long.
Perhaps you have that sort of time. I do not.
I was responding to the original poster, as is typical, on a discussion forum.

kaatieexox · 10/02/2014 02:25

Just wanted to share my experience to. I had to have an episiotomy as I needed a forceps delivery as baby's heart rate dropped. First 16 hours was all natural and I (think) I was handling it ok. Baby was back to back so I had diamorphine and gas and air. The last hour was all a big blur really baby's heart rate dropped so I had to be cut and he had to be pulled out by forceps.

I had a 3rd degree cut/tear and I felt every stitch as the consultant didn't numb me properly. 3 days after one of my stitches bust open but there is no infection, phew, but I have just been told it will heal on it's own.

17 days after I am still in pain but getting better. The thought of ever having any more children or even contemplating DTD scares me to death but i have a beautiful baby boy who makes every pain worth it.

GoshAnneGorilla · 10/02/2014 02:32

21 days later and I am currently finding an episiotomy far harder than the 3rd degree tear I had with dd1.

That the episiotomy was the icing on a hideous cake of a labour doesn't help either.

to those who've had horrible experiences, it helps to know you're not alone. I feel absolutely on the floor about how dd2's birth went.

impatienttobemummy · 10/02/2014 02:53

I am 8 weeks pp foceps and episiotomy. I had infection and ALL of the top layer of stitches fell out it only just healed 2 weeks ago I now have a prolapse. I still am not fully aware if the damage done. Especially mentally

impatienttobemummy · 10/02/2014 02:54

Thanks GoshAnneGorrillla xx

rach6122 · 10/02/2014 13:15

You cannot say they are not a big deal. You can say yours was not a big deal. See the difference?

IdRatherPlayHereWithAllTheMadM · 10/02/2014 13:37

so why the need to wade in with horror stories

They may be "horror stories" but they are someone else's reality and you shouldn't try and shut them down.

You have to let people speak good or bad.

IdRatherPlayHereWithAllTheMadM · 10/02/2014 13:39

I think its more the location of it, we were shown pics in NCT class and I just felt very glad at that moment I was having a CS.

Which is odd as of course I was also cut...( hate that term) however it was the location of the cut that made it OK for me.

CoteDAzur · 10/02/2014 13:55

I had an episiotomy and a CS. You are right, if you are going to have a huge wound and many stitches, it's much better to have them on your tummy where you can keep it all clean and dry.

Ithinkwerealonenow · 10/02/2014 20:03

Goodness yes, I've had both a CS and an episiotomy. I'd go for another CS any day. Which won't be an option, as I'm never ever going through any of that ever again, thank you very much, but no thanks!

IdRatherPlayHereWithAllTheMadM · 10/02/2014 20:55

I had a graze after first birth and I can honestly say that no stitches graze or even little wound..was far more painful than my c section.

IdRatherPlayHereWithAllTheMadM · 10/02/2014 20:56

Just thinking out loud here sorry I think it was because my c section wound could be left to dry and I could just leave it, where as wound below, where you need to toilet are different.

Chacha23 · 11/02/2014 13:32

Needing an episiotomy/tearing was my number 1 fear before childbirth.

Well, I had an episiotomy that extended into a 3rd-degree tear, and it was actually way worse than I thought it was going to be.

Be prepared for the worst and (maybe) be pleasantly surprised, that's my policy from now on.

basia2 · 11/02/2014 13:50

Obviously, a third degree tear will be worse than a first or second degree one.
It was not my intention to invalidate anyone else's experience, only to offer encouragement to prospective moms by sharing my own.
I don't know what degree my incisions were; with the first child, I had 22 stitches and with the last, I had six. Additionally, there was a painful tear in my urethra, which they did not repair because they said stitches would hurt even worse, and we should just let it heal naturally. I guess it did, but it burned to pee for a few days. Nevertheless, I did not find episiotomies to be a big deal. Clearly, for some people, they are. I guess it varies depending upon the severity.

Chacha23 · 11/02/2014 13:58

the difficult thing with childbirth preparation is that different women need different things...

some women fear episiotomies but will actually have ok experiences, so reassuring them just spares them unnecessary anxiety.

other women (like me) would benefit more from a dose of hard, cold realism. Bad stuff does happen, and it's easier to deal with if you're not taken by surprise.

the problem is, you don't know in which category you fall until you actually give birth!

Snicci · 11/02/2014 14:09

Completely disagree.

My episiotomy has 'ruined' me.

Birth became a medical emergency because DD was having difficulties, so obviously they did the right thing but the care received after is appalling.

I am 5 months post-partum and I had horrendous pain after being stitched up. I complained and complained to the visiting midwife to be told it was 'normal' even though I couldn't go to the toilet or stand/walk for weeks after. I have now been referred to a gynaecologist as I have been stitched up "too tight" and have a suspected neuroma, which is damaged nerves in scar tissue. I cannot go to the toilet without being in excruciating pain and cannot have sex. The result of this? Probably the reason I have postnatal depression.

So although you have had a good experience, it isn't as straight forward in all cases OP...

TheStitchWitch · 11/02/2014 14:22

mine was done without consent and no pain relief, stitching was done before local kicked in and I was repeatedly told that I must try to keep still everytime they put a stitch in
I was in so much pain afterwards and cried to the midwife in hospital, she had a look and recoiled in horror at the mess that had been made, I was offered reconstructive surgery but declined as I couldn't bear the thought of anyone messing around down there.

I understand that not evetyones experience is bad but for me it was awful, I thought dh would never want to go near me again

We had a dd 2 years later delivered at home and I had no tears or cuts.

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