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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Episiotomies aren't all that bad

151 replies

Mummy2014 · 02/02/2014 18:09

I'm a first time mummy & tearing / being cut was such a worry & a concern for me, that it almost had me asking for a C Section.

However, my baby boy was delivered via ventouse 13 days ago & I needed an episiotomy. As soon as the consultant walked in - I PANICKED!! But, there really wasn't any need, after being numbed "down there" he cut & my boy was delivered.

Whilst it wasn't pleasant in the slightest, and the first 2/3 days were very sore, overall it wasn't as bad as I had expected. 13 days later my stitches have dissolved & after a sneaky peak, everything looks back to normal (although I'm fully aware more healing is required!)

I just wanted to share my experience & reassure people that it really isn't that bad & try not to worry if you can help it.

I know this isn't the case for everyone, but just wanted to share my experience.

Xx

OP posts:
whereisthewitch · 04/02/2014 08:26

Cote you are obviously reading the title without the context of the thread. She clearly says "I know this isn't the case for everyone, but just wanted to share my experience" so she acknowledged that not everyone has an experience like her.
You have taken offence where none was intended which really isn't OPs fault.

CoteDAzur · 04/02/2014 08:29

You might also consider the following:

I know what is wrong with me - I am sensitive on this subject due to past trauma.

What the hell is wrong with you that you feel you have to berate people who find a thread title & OP offensive due to their experiences? Coming back over several days to call them names? Don't you think the normal thing to do would be to accept that it is offensive to many people, although not to you?

Retrofairy · 04/02/2014 08:35

My episiotomy was 'all that bad'. i had to have repair surgery after it and still have continence problems more than three years later. Just thought I would share too .

whereisthewitch · 04/02/2014 08:37

Um sorry I didn't call anyone names, I actually think your projection on this thread is quite inappropriate to be honest, I understand yoy have had a traumatic experience but in my opinion that does not give you permission to tell the OP that you feel stabby or whatever phrase you used to describe her thread when she had good intentions. She obviously does not wish to come back to the thread which I think is sad but to be honest if I had just had a baby and got the responses she did for a perfectly innocent thread I wouldn't be too keen on returning in fact I'd be pretty upset.

I had A LOT of complications in my last pregnancy and labour where I nearly died, I had PTSD and severe PND as a result, I have heart issues and a severe prolapse to deal with but you know what I can still appreciate that delivery isn't always that extreme, that I am one of a minority, so don't preach to me about traumatic experiences. The difference is I didn't project my awful experience onto the thread and take offence where none was intended.

whereisthewitch · 04/02/2014 08:56

I would also like to point out that I didn't berate or call anyone names, I described some posts as nasty and bitchy which I felt they were. I am allowed an opinion...and it was hardly several days, I work, am heavily pregnant and have a toddler to look after so I don't always get to respond immediately.

CoteDAzur · 04/02/2014 09:21

You said "no need to be bitchy" which means you called the people who said " "woopdeedoo" and "makes me stubby" bitchy. So you called me and elQuinto "bitchy".

Grow a pair and own up to what you said. It is in black and white for all to read anyway.

Names you called me and others who found the thread offensive:
nasty bunch of people (Sun 02-Feb-14 22:33:48)
pearl clutchers (Sun 02-Feb-14 22:33:48)
bitchy (Mon 03-Feb-14 07:01:28)

HTH.

And it has been several days. OP was on Sunday, 2 Feb. Today is Tuesday 4 Feb. Do you need help with simple arithmetic, as well? Hmm

whereisthewitch · 04/02/2014 09:27

Several days is now two days? Really?
well yes I have owned my comments, and I haven't changed my mind about them and I stand by all of my posts.

I'm not going to engage in this anymore with you cote because I'm actually a grown up and can see what exactly the OP meant even if you can't. Im not bitter enough to begrudge anyone a good experience in any aspect of becoming or being a parent.

fuckwittery · 04/02/2014 09:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CoteDAzur · 04/02/2014 09:35

I can't believe I'm dealing with this level of denial Hmm but yes: Sunday-Monday-Tuesday means that we are in the third day of this thread. Several days, in other words, that you have been coming back to it to berate people who have found it offensive Angry

Here, have a medal for having successfully aggressed people who are already offended by the thread title & OP. Whatever purpose you thought that would serve, I hope it was worth it for you.

lottieandmia · 04/02/2014 09:37

I agree with elQuinto. What an insensitive and silly thread title. I couldn't have sex without a lot of pain for about 5 years after my episiotomy.

It all depends on who does your stitches and some people are not very good at it! So you got lucky OP. Good to know that there are people out there that can do them without causing damage.

When I went to anti-natal classes at the NCT I will always remember the person who ran the classes saying she had lost count of the number of women she knew with botched episiotomy stitches.

lottieandmia · 04/02/2014 09:48

I think the problem is that some people think that their experience of childbirth is universal, particularly when it's your first child.

elQuintoConyo · 04/02/2014 10:07

Living up to your user name, eh where ?

There ARE threads on here about positive birth stories, I even read a few - they made me feel all warm and fluffy inside. Plenty to see and read on Mumsnet.

lottieandmia it blows, doesn't it?

lottieandmia · 04/02/2014 10:25

It does. I felt like I wasn't a whole person after my episiotomy.

The thread title does come across like 'oh stop moaning about episiotomies they aren't all that bad'. I really don't know why Côte has been called 'bitchy' or why people don't get that when you've had a bad experience you don't need to feel like others dismiss it.

zoemaguire · 04/02/2014 10:27

Problem is, cote, there are two possible ways of reading the thread title, as has been pointed out about 15 times. Not once have you acknowledged this possibility, or even considered giving the obviously well-meaning op the benefit of the doubt about which one she meant. Why not? It is obvious there is misunderstanding involved, why are you so stubborn in not even acknowledging that you might, just might, not be reading the op the way she intended. You've taken huge offence, we get that, but wouldn't it be reassuring to you to know that op didn't mean it the way it sounded?! It would appear that you have decided to be offended no matter what, and this I find very strange.

lottieandmia · 04/02/2014 10:30

The OP could easily get the thread title changed to something like

'Just to reassure those who are worried about episiotomies, I had a good experience'

It is not that hard not to offend other people with insensitive thread titles.

CoteDAzur · 04/02/2014 10:34

It would look more like a misunderstanding if OP didn't them say "... reassure people that it really isn't that bad ".

Well, hers wasn't bad but it can be pretty bad and it's offensive to many of us here that she says "it really isn't".

HTH you understand the thread better.

TheSmallPrint · 04/02/2014 10:37

I had an episiotomy and for me it was fine because I had an epidural so didn't feel the pain at the time and luckily afterwards healed fine. I have many friedns that didn't have it so easy and have had on going problems.

DS2 was another matter, I had a third degree tear which caused me all sorts of problems and infections. Not pleasant.

ProfessorSkullyMental · 04/02/2014 10:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CoteDAzur · 04/02/2014 10:42

Well, I had an elCS for DS. On the 3rd day I was fine - didn't even need paracetamol, could take care of baby etc.

I definitely know which I prefer Smile

Amethyst35 · 04/02/2014 11:14

I think women should be made aware of the realities of childbirth". Despite doing NCT classes I was completely unprepared for it.

scrufhead · 04/02/2014 12:36

what a set of drama queens. (in the way some have reacted to the OP).

lottieandmia · 04/02/2014 12:51

Yes, drama queens we must be - why don't you try and grow some empathy?

Look, childbirth is an experience that can run very deep with anybody and the psychological effects can be very long lasting indeed if anything went badly. The baby I had when I had my one episiotomy is now 12 years old. Yet I bristled when I read this thread title without reading any replies because the memories of how awful it was remain. Even though physically I am (finally) ok now.

CoteDAzur · 04/02/2014 13:00

scruf - You are in the 1st trimester of your 1st pregnancy, right? I'm sure you know everything about childbirth Hmm which must be how you think you have the right to look down on us. Let's hope you don't show up back here with a birth trauma of your own in about 7 months.

But if you do, don't worry, we won't call you a 'drama queen'.

FabULouse · 04/02/2014 13:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LyndaCartersBigPants · 04/02/2014 14:27

Lucky you OP, you got an anaesthetic!

Mine was done without one, I can still feel/hear the scissors 14 years later, but 'fortunately' the pain from DS's emerging head was such that I was told that I wouldn't notice the cutting pain at the time, so didn't need one Hmm

The stitches they put in, while chatting and laughing and admiring each other's needlecraft, were (according to the mw who removed them a few days later) "neither use nor ornament", so I have an interesting decorative edge to one side now, along with occasional pain.

My 2 subsequent home births left me relaxed, happy and ready to do it all again. On the back of these experiences does that mean I can say that births are not all that painful and I can't understand why anyone needs any pain relief? No, thought not.

Not all episiotomies are THAT bad, but I would guess that these are in the minority.

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