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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Episiotomies aren't all that bad

151 replies

Mummy2014 · 02/02/2014 18:09

I'm a first time mummy & tearing / being cut was such a worry & a concern for me, that it almost had me asking for a C Section.

However, my baby boy was delivered via ventouse 13 days ago & I needed an episiotomy. As soon as the consultant walked in - I PANICKED!! But, there really wasn't any need, after being numbed "down there" he cut & my boy was delivered.

Whilst it wasn't pleasant in the slightest, and the first 2/3 days were very sore, overall it wasn't as bad as I had expected. 13 days later my stitches have dissolved & after a sneaky peak, everything looks back to normal (although I'm fully aware more healing is required!)

I just wanted to share my experience & reassure people that it really isn't that bad & try not to worry if you can help it.

I know this isn't the case for everyone, but just wanted to share my experience.

Xx

OP posts:
herethereandeverywhere · 02/02/2014 22:14

Well I'd have to disagree with you OP. Mine was horrific. It broke down (ie: all the stitches came undone) and they don't restitch so I waited 2 months for the scar tissue to grow in the gap, wincing and weeping at every trip to the toilet and every time I stood up and sat down. I still get pain from the scar, cannot have sex without additional lube or I feel pain like it's still an open cut.

I begged for an ELCS for my second and the recovery from 'major abdominal surgery' was an absolute walk in the park in comparison. I took exactly the same painkillers in exactly the same does post birth - the epi pain was by far the worst. I actually get nauseous now when I think about it.

Fairylea · 02/02/2014 22:20

Another awful experience here. 11 years later I still occasionally have pain along the scar. I chose to have a c section with my second child ten years after the first mainly because I didn't want anything coming near or out of my vagina again.

Casmama · 02/02/2014 22:27

For those having a go at the OP for her thread title please remember this lady is 13 days postnatal and has been very clear about the purpose of her OP.
FWIW my experience of episiotomy was not positive but I don't feel the need to take that out on the OP.

gamerchick · 02/02/2014 22:27

Good for you OP.

I had the same delivery.. except my stiches had to be removed after 5 days (not dissolving).. the scar hurt for 4 years and the ventouse delivery ruined my sex life because it helped my bits collapse in on itself and i've had no sensation for the past 18 years... just because of that particular delivery.

minipie · 02/02/2014 22:32

Are people not reading the thread title? OP said "episiotomies aren't all that bad"

She is not saying all episiotomies turn out fine. she's saying they don't all turn out badly, contrary to her previous fears.

Of course some go badly, which is horrible for those who it happens to. But some go fine. And in my case I strongly suspect DD could have been damaged if I hadn't had one.

whereisthewitch · 02/02/2014 22:33

Nasty bunch of people on his thread,I agree that not everyone gets a nice experience but I took thread in the spirit of someone trying to reassure others with a positive experience, but the pearl clutchers obviously don't see it that way.
Enjoy your new baby.

herethereandeverywhere · 02/02/2014 22:40

yeah, I mean why tell the truth when women can be presented with a one-sided view dressed up as positivity?

I mean, if it all goes to sh*t during childbirth, what you need is to only ever have read 'positive' and 'encouraging' experiences. That will prepare you best Hmm

herethereandeverywhere · 02/02/2014 22:44

I really don't think presenting an honest account of a personal experience can be described as being 'nasty'.

Whereisthewitch you'll have to look at yourself and your view of women who have merely shared an honest experience that's scarred them for life. Who's being 'nasty'?

IndigoTea · 02/02/2014 23:00

Good for you but I didn't have that experience. I was in pain a month later. Probably took about 4 months to heal and period pain down there is very painful

lalouche · 02/02/2014 23:10

All I can say is I'm bloody glad I'm having a c-section and don't have to worry about all this this time round. If I were pregnant for the first time and clicked on a nice encouraging-sounding title for reassurance, then read the contributions here, I'd be feeling just brilliant right now - really happy and not at all terrified about what might lie ahead Hmm.

We all KNOW that birth interventions can be fucking painful and unpleasant especially when they go wrong. Sometimes it's quite nice to hear from someone for whom it went ok, despite having experienced the interventions she feared the most. It isn't being pollyannaish, the OP obviously posted in a spirit of reassurance. Shame the rest of the thread reads like a horror film.

In the same spirit, maybe I should post on the pregnancy board telling all the lovely pregnant women what it's like giving birth 14 weeks early, just to put the fear of God into them? That'd be equally as sensitive.

lilyaldrin · 02/02/2014 23:17

Some are bad, most probably aren't. Mine was fine, didn't feel it and healed up nicely.

MotherOfInsomniacToddlers · 02/02/2014 23:20

I agree. With my first I had a cut and a 2nd degree tear and second i had a cut and a third degree tear. I was lucky and they healed really really quick and can't even say I was uncomfortable!

Moreisnnogedag · 02/02/2014 23:27

Sorry your title makes me all ragey. your episiotomy was fine (and I am honestly glad for you) but don't say it like what's everyone mithering about? Mine - like a sizeable minority of women - was painful and left me in agony for months. It's like people who go on about how wonderful and easy natural childbirth is; it is for some but not everyone. And it doesn't discredit our birth stories, it doesn't make us odd or weak, it's just one of a myriad of birth stories.

herethereandeverywhere · 02/02/2014 23:27

Yeah, let's all bury our heads in the sand. If we don't know all the facts then the bad ones won't happen to us.

Women should be treated like thinking adults. One of my major regrets is wandering into childbirth having believed it would be all breathing exercises and tightenings and a few stitches that a bit of witch hazel would sort out. So for my second birth, armed with facts instead of one-sided propaganda I elected for a CS.

Why are the negative experiences less valid than the positive OP?

IndigoTea · 02/02/2014 23:32

Herethereanyeverywhere, your 2nd paragraph is spot on! I was expecting an Inna May type birth and gosh, I felt like killing that woman in labour! What a load of rubbish (at least for me it was!)Angry

BrianTheMole · 02/02/2014 23:40

Yeah, I didn't get numbed down there. And the consultant starting stitching it up afterwards without anesthetic it too. Until I starting saying ouch, a lot. Then the consultant remembered that there was no anesthetic.
But, as long as you remember to put your hands on the floor when you wee, (as it trickles the other way then), then its not so bad afterwards.

Starballbunny · 03/02/2014 00:03

I had sciatica type shooting pains in my legs too, couldn't move and had been in labour for 26 hours. They did an episiotomy pretty much without asking for consent.

However, it all healed up nicely, pretty quickly and without much pain.

In fact I was aware of the tiny tear DD2 made for far longer. There was a totally harmless little nick at the back of my vagina for years. (I do wonder if she'd been born in hospital if they'd have put one or two stitches).

Starballbunny · 03/02/2014 00:04

Oh and congratulations OPFlowers Bear (all new babies should have a bear)

stopgap · 03/02/2014 01:39

I'm sorry if this is offensive, but I'm genuinely in the dark about this. Unless a baby is in real distress, why would a doctor do an episiotomy and not allow a woman to tear?

FrumiousBandersnatch · 03/02/2014 02:43

stopgap because an episiotomy is intended to control a tear and direct it away from the rectum.

FrumiousBandersnatch · 03/02/2014 02:58

OP, I think a more appropriate title would have been 'my episiotomy wasn't all that bad.' I'm genuinely pleased for you that you had a positive experience and that you and your baby are well.

I'm afraid that my gut response to your OP was also emotional, much like many other posters. My episiotomy was performed under a spinal block and for the first day I felt great but when the anti-inflammatory suppository I had been given wore off I was in intense pain. I was unable to sit down and I could barely walk. I remember feeling at the time that it was more painful than labour, because at least contractions were manageable and had some short respite between them, whereas the pain from my stitches was constant. My stitches broke down completely and I was re-admitted to hospital a week later with a dangerously high fever due to infection. As it was impossible to re-stitch I was left with an open wound in my perineum which one midwife gasped at on examining me (which feels just great, as you can imagine). I could have healed from a c-section three times over in the time that it has taken me so far to heal BUT I have healed, and I'm lucky not to have been left with long-term problems with incontinence.

I'm sorry that this thread probably hasn't gone the way you wanted, OP, but I do understand other posters' frustration at your slightly glib title. Congratulations on your baby.

TheseAreTheJokesFolks · 03/02/2014 03:00

Hmmm

better title - Not all episiotomies are bad...or even better, my episiotomy was far better than in my head.

i look forward to your follow-up thread if you also have to face ventouse with dc2...

in the meantime have a Brew

TheseAreTheJokesFolks · 03/02/2014 03:01

cross-post

SchroSawMargeryDaw · 03/02/2014 03:19

Sorry, I know this thread is well meaning but some of has have experienced hell because of episiotomies.

Sex with my DP feels like I'm being shredded with razor blades. Lots of episiotomies are avoidable and the couple of 2nd degree tears (I think? Through muscle?), grazes, brusing and the split up to my clitoris this time round was no where near as bad as the episiotomy and forceps with DS1. I was adamant that I didn't want cut this time and I wasn't. Far better and healed far less painfully.

Congratulations on your baby. x

Quodlibet · 03/02/2014 03:55

There is room for everyone's experience. And I agree maybe the thread title could have been better worded.

But I truly think that it's as important to talk about when things go right as when they go wrong. I was hyper-aware, before birth, of the possible terrible effects of both assisted delivery and episiotomy, having read a lot of threads on here, and consequently was very frightened when my delivery started going down that track and was pretty much bracing myself for a disaster. If anything, I was over-informed about the risks. In actual fact, while I would never have chosen ventouse or epi, both were well managed and I haven't suffered unduly with either. Likewise, I sat up worrying postnatally about whether my epi would heal properly after reading similar threads, but fortunately it's healed up pretty well. I actually wished there were more people acknowledging when things do go right to balance out the distressing stories of things going wrong. So I am glad the OP started a thread to do that.

It is a sad state of affairs (and I think a sad indicator of our medical system failing many women) that the topic arouses such anger. But it feels like that anger is being misdirected if it's coming out against people who like the OP are saying, 'actually, in my experience it was OK'.