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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Orgasm during childbirth?! Tell me this is a lie!!

493 replies

kitegirl · 09/06/2006 13:56

A friend of mine has a very competitive MIL. This friend has just given birth to her first, a nightmare labour with every possible intervention you could imagine (she's cool about it, bless her). Her MIL won't stop going on how amazing all her births were, saying how she just 'breathed the babies out' and how all her births were such ecstatic, spiritual experiences that she actually had an orgasm during each one!

Now I know a birth can be enjoyable, but an orgasm??? I've never heard this happening. Is this a case of one-upmanship? I told my friend that there's only one place to find out and that's Mumsnet... so what do you think?

OP posts:
HarpsichordCarrier · 12/06/2006 08:48

Well I presume from that post that I am now "allowed" to post again on this thread again, I just wanted to say I thought Florizel's post was very sensible.

FioFio · 12/06/2006 08:50

This reply has been deleted

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Rhubarb · 12/06/2006 08:51

Do you have to be so sarcastic HC? Do I take it that you now have a problem with me?

MadamePlatypus · 12/06/2006 08:52

"that's so far from any actual experience I've ever heard of and certainly my two times (before reading this), that I find it hard to imagine women feeling it's something they have to live up to."

I agree Florizel - there are some very annoying websites around, but given that my local hospital has only just installed birthing pools, and as far as I know will have no problem with me giving birth on my back in stirrups. Getting back to reality, I don't think I will feel under any pressure from the midwife to have an orgasmic experience!

There are alot of nutcases around, but any movement, including that of questioning the over medicalisation of childbirth is bound to have its mad fringe element, who have as much access to the web as anybody else.

HarpsichordCarrier · 12/06/2006 08:54

no Rhubarb, I was agreeing with Florizel and not referring to your post. I have no problem with you at all.

MadamePlatypus · 12/06/2006 08:54

Just want to stress that I don't think any mumsnetters are nutcases - just the people who produce strange websites!

FioFio · 12/06/2006 08:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted

FrannyandZooey · 12/06/2006 09:17

I think you have effectively closed down the debate Rhubarb. I don't think any of us can really respond to what you have said, as it has all got so terribly personal and obviously very close to the bone for you.

I feel it's a little unfair on Sophable, to ask for the thread to stop, have some threads deleted, and then come back and more or less start the argument up again. How can she possibly reply?

Rhubarb · 12/06/2006 09:36

I asked for the thread to stop whilst I got the posts deleted. Then I felt that I had to explain why I had posts deleted and to answer Sophie and to defend myself tbh.

When she returns she'll see my reply. I do not want to get attacked for this again if you don't mind. Debate away, just leave me out of it!

Rhubarb · 12/06/2006 09:37

The deleted posts were nothing to do with the argument, they served no purpose and were very personal to me.

Tortington · 12/06/2006 10:26

howdy.

i think to bring yourself to orgasm during childbirth is a bit weird to say the least.

however should you have one during the process - great.

to give oral during childbirth - is super fucking freaky in my personal opinion. - theres a kid coming ut fo there for gods sake.

i have so sexual hangups

if you want to do yersel up the jacksy with a sweeping brush - none of my business - if thats what floats yer boat.

i personally find the purposeful bringing on of an orgasm distateful.

i think rhubarb said the same.

Heathcliffscathy · 12/06/2006 11:59

rhubarb. i'm really sorry you've been so upset by this thread and am glad that you've deleted any posts that you regret posting.

Like Franny says, I'm not really sure what else to say. I have a propensity to be absolutely terrier-like in not letting something go if I feel it's unfair or unjust.

JellyNump · 13/06/2006 11:53

I have to say I do agree with Rhubarb about the whole childbirth/sex thing, no offence to anyone, but this is my personal opinion. I can see that it may be possible to experience some sort of orgasm type feeling during labour, due to the pressure etc. The thing I don't like though is, I once heard a bloke say something like 'its the biggest thing you're likely to have in you, so it must make you want to orgasm'!?!?!? That made me feel really uncomfortable, I too would like to keep childbirth an 'innocent' experience.

Babysitterbexy · 13/06/2006 12:57

I havent ever given birth but IMO it can not be wrong to orgasm during childbirth and labour. f it is surely as someone said earlier, it is wrong to orgasm when you concieve and any sexual experience you have during pg?

Cod · 13/06/2006 12:58

lol

suzywong · 13/06/2006 13:07

right, the word on the street is this thread has kicked off, can someone tell me where please as I haven't time to read it all. Thanks

Bugsy2 · 13/06/2006 13:09

I've heard stories about women who orgasm during childbirth & can only think lucky them.
I found nothing orgasmic about either of my births, I could barely breathe through the pain let alone imagine anything pleasurable about the contractions or my babies head ripping through my undercarriage.
However, I don't see it as wrong or impure if other women are lucky enough to gain enough pleasure from childbirth to actually orgasm. The body is a funny old thing & we all react differently. Jammy old things - perhaps medical research should be looking into the secret orgasms of childbirth so we could all have one!
Something to add to the birth plan! Grin

Tortington · 13/06/2006 14:32

think it was miscommunication suzy - as per.

am not right sure miself why it kicked off.

am not sure anyone has said orgasm during birth is wrong - butrather the sexual acts (oral etc) to bring it on during the birth experience was a bit fucked up.

then somone mentioned pedophilia ( in a ...its not pedophelia..type way) - an emotive word - which no one suggested - the word usedas far as i can tell was "perverted" which i think sums up my feelings towards it.

its all a matter of opinion in the end as always. i think people have made friends for te most part.

but its reat to see a new topic as the old ones seem to re-emerge with new people ..naturally.

suzywong · 13/06/2006 14:45

thanks

Tortington · 13/06/2006 14:59

anything for you suzy

NomDePlume · 13/06/2006 14:59

"It was as if we had become one again as we did in a genital embrace." I couldn;t give a tinkers toss bout the subject tbh, but you have to admit that that quote is the cheesiest thing you have ever read. Arf

dillon · 15/06/2006 08:45

What I asked myself during difficult labour "was the orgasm worth it" (I'm talking about the one 9 months earlier)its not till its all over we say yes yes YES!

muppety · 15/06/2006 21:01

Blimey. I have scanned through the above but no time to properly read. Was just going to say (although may have already been said) that I read an article by Davina mcall and she said she had an orgasmic experience during both her labours. Gave birth in the bath I think and wanted to do it all again striaght away. Do you know why I hate women like that? I am JEALOUS.... how can it have been so different for me???????????????

birdymum · 16/06/2006 10:18

Davina gave birth at home where she felt relaxed. A relaxed woman in labour (ie. she is in a safe dark warm comfortable private quiet place) releases the same hormones as she does during sex. Which helps with the pain. And may even lead to an orgasm. Thats a medical fact. Not sexual or pervy. And a possibility for all of us if we ignore the bullshit we are fed by the medical profession / eachother about birth being a nightmare. It is a nightmare for most of us because of the belief that we are safer giving birth in a hospital (hectic brightly lit strange even hostile). In fact it is equally safe to give birth at home as in hospital (even for first babies) unless there are complications during pregnancy - which is when hospitals are great.

morningpaper · 16/06/2006 10:26

Really birdymum, why does the medical profession have such an invested interest in us all believing that birth is a "nightmare"?

And let's not forget that (a) 40% of first-time mums who plan a home birth will end up giving birth in hospital (I'm sure because of all those evil Doctors who have such an invested conspiratorial interest in her being there!) and (b) the vast majority of women make an informed choice that they would PREFER to give birth in hospital.

(My local midwife-led birthing unit closed down and there was UPROAR - despite the fact that 80% of women who could use it chose instead to travel further to give birth in the local hospital! So there were 2 midwives on duty 7 days a week and only 2 births a week - an expensive and obviously not very popular service.)