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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Orgasm during childbirth?! Tell me this is a lie!!

493 replies

kitegirl · 09/06/2006 13:56

A friend of mine has a very competitive MIL. This friend has just given birth to her first, a nightmare labour with every possible intervention you could imagine (she's cool about it, bless her). Her MIL won't stop going on how amazing all her births were, saying how she just 'breathed the babies out' and how all her births were such ecstatic, spiritual experiences that she actually had an orgasm during each one!

Now I know a birth can be enjoyable, but an orgasm??? I've never heard this happening. Is this a case of one-upmanship? I told my friend that there's only one place to find out and that's Mumsnet... so what do you think?

OP posts:

dizietsma · 11/06/2006 12:19

"you find te experience is full of blood, shit and guttural mooing?"

ROFLMAO!

Definately describes my "pure" birthing experience!

FrannyandZooey · 11/06/2006 12:21

M2PW

apologies

"It is an opinion with which I do not agree but I respect the right of the poster to express themselves and to have a perspective that differs from mine."

and ruddy nonsense too

FrannyandZooey · 11/06/2006 12:23

M2PW

I have reread your posts and I do see what you are getting at, but I think you are trying to make a distinction that is not there. Natural physiological responses are usually entwined with a desire to seek sexual gratification. One is not necessarily right and the other wrong, IMO.

Heathcliffscathy · 11/06/2006 12:30

MI no one is adding orgasm to 'the list'!

at all

Personally, I'm reacting strongly to the notion that masturbating during labour is debasing or paedophilic (is that a word), a concept that I find breathtakingly ignorant...my dh and I were fully aware that sexual stimulation during labour would help speed things up if they needed to and we were made aware of that both through my own reading and our midwives, neither of which were lentil weaving loons.

as it happens although I had a 37 hour labour (not exactly fast) at no point did I want to make things more intense then they already were!!! but to be told that if I had done so I would somehow be, christ what is the implication here, HARMING my unborn child!!!!! ffs.

monkeytrousers · 11/06/2006 12:32

Congratulations Cluck! Although I am reminded of a friend I once knew who would constantly talk of the extreme sex she enjoyed with her boyfriend and how intense the orgasms were - until a few years down the line she was with another boyfriend ans suddenly realised what he had experienced was simply extreme pain and had never had an orgasm until recently.

I wouldn't be surprised if what you experience was a physiological anomaly, very rare and statistically irrelevant if we're talking of legislation.

monkeytrousers · 11/06/2006 12:34

What a wonderful thing evolution would be if we had evolved to orgasm the baby out!

dizietsma · 11/06/2006 12:39

"I wouldn't be surprised if what you experience was a physiological anomaly, very rare and statistically irrelevant if we're talking of legislation."

Wow, monkeytrousers, that was a breathtakingly patronising post! I'm sure cluck is well aware of what she experienced and doesn't need you to interpret it for her!

What "legislation" are we talking about here exactly? Because the College of Midwives put forth their idea about paying for epidurals, not because all women experience orgasm at birth but because they thought women were having "unecessary" epidurals, whatever the f*ck they are! It wont get into legislation because doctors are very much opposed to it, and that's where the story ends.

FrannyandZooey · 11/06/2006 12:42

Where have you been hiding dizietsma? I haven't seen you around before, is that my fault or yours?

Blandmum · 11/06/2006 12:52

find myself, as so often, in total agreement with MI....and deeply that she says it with greater clarity than I could

When a doctor writes that many women may experience orgasm, but be so conditioned by societies expectations of CB as painful, that they fail to recognise it as such (WTF? I know when I orgasm....trust me!) then yes I do find that patronising.

monkeytrousers · 11/06/2006 12:57

dizietsma, I was not interpreting Cluck's experience for her, I was interpreting it for myself, and as for being partonising...well, I'm sure Cluck can speak for herself on that matter.

As for epidurals, I think you'll find the vast majority of women around the world don't have access to them.

I agrre MB.

dizietsma · 11/06/2006 13:08

"When a doctor writes that many women may experience orgasm, but be so conditioned by societies expectations of CB as painful, that they fail to recognise it as such (WTF? I know when I orgasm....trust me!) then yes I do find that patronising."

OK, what doctor? Lots of people are referring to websites and doctors but, y'know, I haven't seen one link. It's hardly as if these people are influencing government policy is it? A couple of tree-huggers and a renegade doctor? Why is it such a big deal if these people have differing views to your own interpretation?

dizietsma · 11/06/2006 13:09

"As for epidurals, I think you'll find the vast majority of women around the world don't have access to them."

...yes, and what exactly is your point? You seem to have totally bypassed what I said and answered your own question!

dizietsma · 11/06/2006 13:13

Franny, I'm a bit of a lurker, don't post too often but read a quite bit. Frankly, I'm beginning to see why I don't post so often!

Blandmum · 11/06/2006 13:29

This is the quot that you asked for. I have posted it on this thread before, but the thread is getting rather long

'"This birth was not only painless, but very pleasurable. We had never read about this aspect, and it took us by surprise. As the baby crowned, I knew from Jean's look and sounds that she was having an explosive orgasm, which rolled on and on. What a long way from the pain and agony of conventional myth! Years later we asked a sympathetic doctor about this. 'Yes,' he said, 'I've seen it a few times. It may even be that many women have orgasms during birth, but interpret them as pain because the sensations are more intense than anything previously experienced and because women are conditioned to expect pain.'"
-From The Home School Challenge, by Donn Reed '

dizietsma · 11/06/2006 13:44

"This birth was not only painless, but very pleasurable. We had never read about this aspect, and it took us by surprise. As the baby crowned, I knew from Jean's look and sounds that she was having an explosive orgasm, which rolled on and on. What a long way from the pain and agony of conventional myth! Years later we asked a sympathetic doctor about this. 'Yes,' he said, 'I've seen it a few times. It may even be that many women have orgasms during birth, but interpret them as pain because the sensations are more intense than anything previously experienced and because women are conditioned to expect pain.'"
-From The Home School Challenge, by Donn Reed '

Right, let's unpack this a bit. First of all, a woman experiences an orgasm and is rather startled by it so discusses it with her doctor. He says "Yes, I've seen it a few times" nothing terribly controversial there. He then goes on to theorise that perhaps more women experience this than are aware of it because of the intense sensations at birth. Frankly I don't see what's so wrong with that quote. He's not saying that all women experience this and that all women should experience it, merely that he has a theory.

I'd like to see that quote contextualised in the website as well, please link to it.

Blandmum · 11/06/2006 13:48

\link{http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/\link, as I posted earlier on this thread, which is totaly in favour of 'your' argument I think}

It may be one doctor theorising, however he is saying what I referenced.

dizietsma · 11/06/2006 13:59

Well, this is your original post and I'd like to point out two things here. A doctor has not written that, a woman who experienced orgasmic birth wrote that which places it in the realm of "hearsay". I don't think the quote means that you personally orgasmed and didn't recognise it, merely that this supposed doctor thinks some women might orgasm and not know it. You're generalising where the quote is actually rather vague.

And yes, it is patronising for a doctor to say that but in my experience no-one can patronise quite like a doctor! (Am now generalising shamelessly!)

FrannyandZooey · 11/06/2006 14:06

Ah, dizietsma, there's nothing like a row about orgasming during childbirth to just round off your Sunday perfectly. Now where else but Mumsnet could you get such an experience? :)

dizietsma · 11/06/2006 14:09

Oh, and don't speak for me! My "argument" is not that of "Bornfree". All I'm saying that some women's experience of birth can be orgasmic and that's OK. Just like some women's experience of birth requires they have lots of pain relief (me!) and that is also OK. I don't think that just because some women orgasm at birth they should be pilloried because they're letting the side down and adding to the list that competitive mothers feel they have to achieve. I think this ridiculous bitchiness about who achieves what at birth is stupid and we should all relax and realise that whatever gets you through it is fine. I don't think sex debases anything and I think people who feel that are sad. I certainly don't think there's anything even vaguely paedophilic about orgasm at birth and think this is just paedo-panic. THAT is my "argument"!

dizietsma · 11/06/2006 14:17

I know, Franny. I'll be taking my sleep deprived whining 10 month old out for a walk in a bit, get my headspace removed from this silliness!

Blandmum · 11/06/2006 14:19

well, if we are being pedantic, I am not generalising, since at not time have I said, 'And many doctors say' , or, 'It is accepted by doctors'. I am simply pointing out that some people who support an erotic aspect of childrebirth....which the website does, have quoted a doctor as saying he believes that women may not recognise orgasm during labour. Since I have no specific reason to think that the writer was lying, I accepted their statement.

And if you read the text with care you will see that it is the Husband writing, not his wife....yet another male expert me thinks

By comment about the website supporting your viws was based on the fact that the website supports the concept of orgasm in labour...my mistake if that is not what you think. At not time did I say that you endorse all their views.

dizietsma · 11/06/2006 14:33

So what exactly is your issue with this statement? You see, I get the impression that your point was because I had pointed out monkeytrousers incredibly patronising post you posted that you thought that quote was also patronising because you were comparing me to monkey trousers, assuming that I agreed with everything on that site. See, perhaps people who think orgasm at birth is OK aren't all affliated and don't necessarily agree with everything the unassisted childbirth movement has to say. Maybe we're just normal mums who don't think it's a big fat deal and people shouldn't be judged 'cos they had a different experience than the mainstream?

FrannyandZooey · 11/06/2006 14:36

Ah, this is getting a bit personal now. I'm off for a bit.

Blandmum · 11/06/2006 14:39

Ok, if you calm down a bit, and read my posts, you will even find one where I specificaly say that I don't lump cluck in with them!

In fact read my posts and see where I have said anything negative about you, or any other poster on this thread.

I think that site is rather odd. I think that some of their views, particularly on women giving birth alone could be quite dangerous. But I simply meant that they supported an erotic aspect to child birth,. As do you.

And at no point have I ever said that this is dirth, or odd. In fact if you actualy read my posts you will see that I say 'Good luck' to the people who do orgasm.

and what is my issue with the quote?

Well, here is a man, saying that women are so conditioned by society that they can't tell pleasure from pain. Guess what I disagree, and think that totaly patronising.

monkeytrousers · 11/06/2006 14:45

Why is anyone getting pedantic about this at all? And dizietsma, sorry, but while you're saying competitvlnedd is at fault here, you seem the more competitive than most on this issue. But who is censuring anyway...and I think you mentioned a website a few posts ago BTW.

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