Orgasm during childbirth?! Tell me this is a lie!!

[kitegirl]

A friend of mine has a very competitive MIL. This friend has just given birth to her first, a nightmare labour with every possible intervention you could imagine (she's cool about it, bless her). Her MIL won't stop going on how amazing all her births were, saying how she just 'breathed the babies out' and how all her births were such ecstatic, spiritual experiences that she actually had an orgasm during each one!

Now I know a birth can be enjoyable, but an orgasm??? I've never heard this happening. Is this a case of one-upmanship? I told my friend that there's only one place to find out and that's Mumsnet... so what do you think?

BLimey birdymum, I am a fully-paid-up lentil-weavery natural birth type but I think you've gone way too far.
Apart from anything else, many hospitals have gone out of their way not to be hostile, bright, scary places, as the staff fully understand the need to hunker down in a calm, dimly-lit place.
It's not like "women" are one mass entity who all need the same provision. We each bring our experiences and hang-ups and differing pain thresholds to birth. Lovely for Davina and perhaps utterly horrifying - or just unnecessary - for another woman.

Pruni - I'm not into lentil weaving but still pro natural birth. Why do you have to encourage the myth that natural birth is just for hippies ? And so many women transfer to hospital for a variety of reasons - could be lack of preparation of what to expect / coping techniques and fear kicks in during such an intense experience so labour slows right down, could be a rubbish midwife or the baby's position or some complication or a million of other reasons. Quote your source when you give a percentage. And morningpaper - I have 2 words for you - a. MONEY b. FEAR

Birdymum, the 40% of first time mothers transferring figure is from the National Birthday Trust Report (1999, Chamberlin et al). You will find a summary of the findings under 'research' \link{http://www.homebirth.org.uk/here}.

The hospital room where I laboured with dd was like a hotel room! Nice curtains, all equipment behind wooden doors, arm chairs, beanbags. I was also encouraged to use a bath for pain relief.

I ended up with a C section but that was nothing to do with the setting, which was really rather nice, and everything to do with the position of dd!

Bah, let's get that link working properly, shall we?

/link{http://www.homebirth.org.uk\Under 'research' page}

I'm not encouraging myths, I was lightening my words with a little attempted humour. So shoot me.
A little brusque, no?

Oh I give up!

\link{http://www.homebirth.org.uk\Let's try this}

being new to the site it was refreshing to see this thread! Apart from the fact it had me laughing about things that most consider taboo it made me think of my two births, both natural, my dd was a joy to give birth to, she literally popped out and I was heard to say 'well if that is it then I will have 10 more' 6 years later after the birth of my son, I swore I would have no more, it was painful and hardwork, there were no 'orgasms' with this birth! (I too was told before the first that childbirth was a very unpleasant thing, my daughter disproved it and my son (due to size) proved it........so it is different for all and different for each birth!)

Birdymum:

I really dislike the phrase "natural birth" because it implies that anyone who does not want/have a medication/intervention free vaginal delivery is therefore "unnatural" - and new mums have enough to feel shit about without adding the label "unnatural" to the very first act of mothering that they have to do.

"And so many women transfer to hospital for a variety of reasons - could be lack of preparation of what to expect"

= Mother's fault

"coping techniques"

= Mother's fault

"and fear kicks in"

= Mother's fault

"And morningpaper - I have 2 words for you - a. MONEY b. FEAR"

Please explain "b. FEAR"

As I work with Doctors I agree that a lot of Doctors do have a lot of FEAR around the childbirth process and the idea that it should be unassisted or unmonitored. That's because they've seen dead babies. Obstetrics is still a highly risky business in a lot of cases.

Doctors do not give a toss about (a) MONEY. That's what Evil Managers worry about, as anyone working in a hospital will tell you. :)

The NHS isn't some evil "system" set up to give women a bad birth experience. It might have been weighted towards that outcome 30 years ago but things have changed a LOT - and lots of women enjoy a hospital birth and find a hospital a reassuring place to labour and give birth.

morningpaper - I'm sorry you dislike the phrase 'natural birth'. What do you prefer - routine c-section ? And I wonder why you say women have enough to feel shit about when they first become mothers ? Could it be the over-medicalised experience of child birth that many endure so their obstetricians can mitigate the so called risks ? You say lots of mothers enjoy a hospital birth but I know lots who have been permenantly physically and mentally scarred or have had their baby's safety compromised by an unneccessary induction or c-section or even the lack of one to one care in a hospital. And lots more who wished they'd had the confidence and support to go for it at home. And I would never blame a woman for her birthing experience. A good midwife will encourage a mother to prepare her mind and body for child birth and let go of the fear that surrounds us, fuelled by a lack of understanding of how manageable and straightforward birth can be. Maybe if we didn't feel so suspicious of our ability to give birth and had more faith and respect for our bodies, more of us would experience some degree of orgasmic birth rather than the awful time that is written about so often on this web site. But then we wouldn't have anything to moan about would we ?

Snot worth it, mp. Back away.

I had a home birth, sweetie, a lovely lentil weaver experience, pool, great midwives, most amazing experience of my life yada yada yada.

Still hurt like fuck.

MI, and I had an all intervention, emergency c section with my first, and a (stone me now! ) planned C secotion with my second (well probably a good idea since he was a footling breach and I had pre-eclampsia....shame to let us both die eh?) and guess what they were both bloody painless at the end!

I had two excellent births thanks, and I wasn't riddled with fear and trepidation prior to either.

The sections were due to biology not psychology

Can I just clarify something before you all get your knickers in a twist - I'm not suggesting living saving intervention is wrong. Why would I do that ? Of course if its a case of life or death, medical technology is there for us thank god. I'm just suggesting that it can be over used when its not really necessary (i.e this trend for induction at 40+10) and can create as much risk and pain as it claims to prevent. And when birth is over taken like this, what hope is there for a so called orgasmic birth ? Thats all. So I'll now head off to the lentil weavers natural birth website where I'm obviously more welcome. See ya.

if you are about to give birth to your first child, how do you know which side of the statistics you are? i'm all for non-interventionist home births for those who are confident that nothing will go wrong... but to go on preaching that it is completely risk free if only women had the right 'attitude' is, well, stupid is the word that comes to mind.

A friend of mine nearly lost her baby and her life because her midwife was so pro-home birth that it obviously clouded her judgement as to what was going wrong during the birth.