Orgasm during childbirth?! Tell me this is a lie!!

[kitegirl]

A friend of mine has a very competitive MIL. This friend has just given birth to her first, a nightmare labour with every possible intervention you could imagine (she's cool about it, bless her). Her MIL won't stop going on how amazing all her births were, saying how she just 'breathed the babies out' and how all her births were such ecstatic, spiritual experiences that she actually had an orgasm during each one!

Now I know a birth can be enjoyable, but an orgasm??? I've never heard this happening. Is this a case of one-upmanship? I told my friend that there's only one place to find out and that's Mumsnet... so what do you think?

"Well, here is a man, saying that women are so conditioned by society that they can't tell pleasure from pain. Guess what I disagree, and think that totaly patronising."

I understand and agree with you, what I don't get is why you brought it up. As I said, you seemed to be bringing it up because I characterised monkeytrouser's post as patronising, if you had another motivation then please tell me because I did not follow it.

Oh, incredibly patronising? I must be a doctor

Who was I patrionizing again? The person you were speaking for. Not that that's patronising at all, of course..

monkeytrousers, in what way am I competitive? Because I wont roll over and accept your point of view?

"I am simply pointing out that some people who support an erotic aspect of childrebirth...." Sounds like something Freud would say MB.

What point of view is that?

I brought it up (this time) because you asked for the quote.

Then you asked for the website. Which I posted the link to, as you requested.

Why did I originaly post it?

Because I think that it is patronising. I also think that the website in question 'over eggs' the argument that orgasm and pain free delivery is doen to mostly a positive attitue. I think that being positive is helpful (and if you read all my posts on this treat you will see I have said this many times)

But the website is not positive about being positive, that it forgets the basic facts of physiology and anatomy that play a far larger role in a women having a 'good' delivery. And by doing so it risks heaping more guilt on those women who do not have a pain free, orgasmic experience at the time of their child's birth.

I'm all in favour of a positive attitude to deliversy...had it myself through both of my C sections. All I would like is more ballance, and more reality checks, than are shown by some wedsites.

And I am really happy for Cluck (hello Cluck) and wasn't be facetious at all. Orgasms during childbirth are much preferable to pain, so I think Cluck is a very lucky lady. I do think her experience will be statistically anomalous however.

wasn't being facetious, I mean..

hurrah! am statistically anamolous
Well, maybe, but I will never find out because I am NEVER mentioning this again and you can bet that very few people in my position would be brave enough to put their heads over the parapet either

no chance
orgasms dont freaking hurt

Cluck, I hope you don't think that's an insult. You really are one in a million, I'd put money one it. Unique!

Oh no I don't find it the least insulting. Shame I can't tell anyone about it ever eh??

Why Cluck? I haven't read the whole thread sorry if I've missed sommit.

No cluck? Still, if you don't tell you can just cross your legs in a sugestive way ,when ever someone is giving you their ghastly childbirth story and you can just nod with a knowing, and satisfied, smile

well MT only that it might not go down that well. See comments below. Either they will think I am a total perve into some combination of S&M/fisting/deep penetration who is trying to make them Feel Bad that they didn't have an orgasm....

OR they will just want to kill me

unpetitefili wrote:
"I have had four births and before each one i had crazy thoughts that it might not hurt so much this time only to be hit by all consuming pain that was beyond my comprehension in the heights of this pain it was like being taken to a place within myself where the only conscious thought was extreme pain and wanting to be free from such torturous agony."

How very well put.

Obviously just conditioning of course, but I felt just the same.

As people have replied to my posts and I have not been here to defend myself, let me now take the opportunity to do so.

I believe, that is me personally that masturbating and/or giving/receiving oral sex during childbirth debases childbirth. We are not talking about natural sex here, I feel that these practices during the very act of pushing out an innocent little being is perverted. There you go, shoot me down, call me a prude and jump on the judging bandwagon!

If you have an orgasm whilst giving birth by chance, then good for you! But websites that encourage women to indulge in sexual practices during childbirth turns my stomach.

I'm getting kinda fed up of people twisting my words and comments and misquoting me so I'm trying to make myself as clear as can be!

I was lucky enough to have a home birth with my second and I was lucky enough for everything to go smoothly. It was painful (no orgasms!) but bearable and much better than being in hospital. However I realise that there are some women whose births are horrendous and for that very reason I wouldn't go on and on about my lovely home birth and how everyone should have one, that pain is psychological etc etc. Some 'alternative' midwives seem to me, to be using 'natural' childbirth as a stick to beat women whose previous childbirth experiences have been horrendous. As if it was somehow their fault for not being relaxed enough, for choosing a hospital over home, for choosing painkillers instead of receiving fucking oral sex! It gets on my tits ok? Just like it gets on my tits (literally!) when people go on and on about how breastfeeding should be painless and will only hurt if you are doing it wrong. Myself and countless others know that this is bollocks!

So there you go. Yes I am a prude! I think childbirth should not be equated with certain sexual practices. That does not mean that I am saying you should not have sex during pregnancy or that if you involuntarily dump during childbirth you are a pervert. This is a gross misunderstanding. Certain sexual practices, namely oral sex and masturbation during childbirth I find repulsive.

Can I make myself any clearer? Do I have to apologise for having these views? I hope not because I'm not going to! So there!

lol rhubarb

I really have A LOT of sympathy for your viewpoint :)

Not read this thread but when I saw this thread title and the 395 posts on it, I just assumed that 395 women were saying 'yes, its a lie - a lie I tell you!!!' I would have been one of them.

Obviously there is more to this than my glib answer would imply - I'll settle down with a cup of tea later on and see if I can be convinced.

\link{http://www.pastornet.net.au/fwn/2002/feb/elaine.jpg\Here} I am in my less prudish mode!

LOL Cluck and Rube!

oh by the way Monkeytrousers (I have just read your post about your friend mistaking an orgasm for intense physical pain ) I don't know why my epxerience should remind you of that really. If you read my post again, it wasn't the pain that triggered the orgasm (although - and I am not a biologist but I understand that the receptors for pain and pleasure are close together (sorry I am not expressing that well). Although, to reiterate, I didn't bliss my way through labour - as I said before there was a LOT of very very intense pain. I suspect it was the pressure/stimulation at the back of the clitoris/G spot as someone suggested way down the thread. Ad yes I can tell the difference between intense pain and orgasm honestly.
By the way Rhubarb I don't think masturbating during labour (or to induce labour) could really be called a sexual practice as such - except for the (rather odd) people on that website, for most people I suspect it is aninstinctual/primitive response.

Sorry if it came over that I was Cluck, it wasn't anything personal to you. The pleasure/pain theme just reminded me of her thats all. I haven't actually read that post by you - I'll go and have a look.