Poll-Your Mum at the birth?

[IndecisivePramBuyer81]

For those with DH's - did you have/would you have your Mum at the birth of your first child?

My mum was 69, not 39.

I had my mum and DH and she was more help than DH. For me it was kind of she's been through it and she's ok so I can do this and be ok. She kept me calm while DH just didn't have a clue what to do.
2nd time just DH he had more idea of what to do then,

Nope. we get on really well but I didn't feel like I needed her there, DP was fantastic and she definitely didn't want to be there

I had mine, and I thought it was great. She's kind of very laid back but assertive about important things all at the same time. I think DH wouldn't have agreed to it if she had been a stresshead.

She asked if I minded her watching as 'It's actually really fascinating!'. I didn't... but that's the kind of person I am too; very open and relaxed about body things.

My mom really wanted to be there, but I just knew I couldn't cope with it. I felt it would be more about her being there, than about me actually giving birth. She lives overseas so she booked a flight for around my due date, and even changed it to later when I was still pregnant. Interestingly, I went into labour about 24 hours after she arrived, and laboured quietly upstairs while she was downstairs through the night, and then in the morning she massaged my feet while I continued having contractions. We left for the hospital and I knew she felt bad, but I couldn't have her there. Interestingly, I was shocked to find out I was 7.5 centimetres dilated on arrival at the hospital. Looking back, I wonder if perhaps she had a positive influence on my early labour by nature of just "being" there and doing absolutely nothing. I also wonder if my going into labour was perhaps triggered by her arrival. So even if my head was like "no, she's going to be in the room!!" perhaps having her on the periphery made a different.

No

Not. A. Chance.

No way! She's far too much of a wimp and actually admitted she was relieved when I said I would prefer her not to be there!
She said she wouldn't be able to handle seeing me in pain and. Had visions on her passing out mid-way!

God no. It was for me and DH. Think DH would have been disappointed too.

Also with DC2 she would have stormed the wards demanding for the epi I wasn't allowed to have (too late on).

DP was there.
Mum and Dad were in the corridor waiting nervously (EMCS).

But for number 2 as long as everything is going to go okay, hope to have DP with me and have DD with Mum and Dad who she is close to. Be a few years yet though. :)

First one I did but weird as it sounds I didn't think I had a choice, it was a long time ago I was only 17 the staff ignored me only spoke to her and I thought she had to be there due to my age.

But never never never again.

I am now a firm beliver in the woman choosing who ever she wants, be it her mum dad friend or the baby's dad or nobody none HCP.

I don't get and will never get why anyone thinks they have a right to over ride the labouring woman's right to choose by asserting their 'rights' as what ever relative to the as yet unborn baby

I had DH and DM which was exactly what I wanted and I'd want the same again in the future.

I only had one moment of awkwardness which was when we got o the hospital (9cms dilated) and getting into the birth pool thinking to myself 'how much more is it going to hurt' and I did worry that DM would be worried if I did become unable to manage the pain. So I did ask her if she was ok!

It was brilliant when DS was born, DM stayed in the corner and got drinks when needed and let me and DH get on with it, but when it was time to push, I asked her over and DH held one hand and DM held the other.

It really helped having DM there and I'll always remember her saying 'the head is the hardest bit' once DS's head was out and when he was born her shock saying 'god! He's big isn't he?' to the midwife

DM really enjoyed it and so did I, it was nice I can talk to her about it and she was really proud of me. It's really sweet as she tells everyone how wonderful pool births are now after being really squeemish about them at first!

no. would not mind being alone actually if my husband could not be there.

Not at all. Only wanted DH. MIL wanted to be there, but totally respected the fact that I only wanted DH both times.

No, I wanted it to just be DH with me. Plus for DC2's birth, DM was minding DC1

Noooo... No way... ( I do love her but she would stress me)
My dh was amazing though. If he wasn't around I would probably go solo.

I had both DP and DM at the birth of DS. For the majority of my pregnancy I didn't think I wanted her there but when it came to it (DS was 2 weeks late & I had lots of time to think) her being part of the birth was important to me.

My DP and I discussed it and initially he was unsure, but we both reflect on how great a support DM was for each of us in different ways. She took it in turns with DP to mop my brow, hold the sick bowl, pass me drinks and push against my feet.

She was also there for DP to speak to about MW suggestions and to keep each other company and awake while I was off my tits on G&A. She was really unobtrusive and I think feels honoured being there to welcome DS into the world.

No way! I love her to bits,but it was a special time for DH and me.
I can't think your DH would- would you want your MIL there? if not- why should he?

I didn't have ex-DP at my birth, so my DM and DF were there, ended up giving birth at home due to a fast labor and my DM delivered DD and my DF was the first person to hold her, so it was special for them.

On the other hand though, they were both there when I was getting stitched at the hospital and my dad was at the 'business' end so to speak, it was only when the nurse realized who he was that he was tactfully moved towards the head end.

I had my Mum there for birth of DD, along with DH (altho he was only DP then!), and I had my Dad & DH there for birth of DS. Oh yes, and Dad filmed DS's birth at my request! (I have no intention of showing the film to anybody, but DD's birth went by in a bit of a blur, and I really wanted to see it all properly 2nd time around.)

DH and I are close to both sets of parents, but DH's family live in Germany, so it was great to have mine there. Also, by his own admission, DH is not much use with medical stuff, so in fact Mum and Dad were really there for him!

I was really glad they were able to be there, and I know they were both really proud to be asked. I would definitely ask them again IF I had any intention of having another child, which is so not happening!

No thanks! Nor would my friends. The only person I can think of who would want her mum there is my colleague who is very close to her mum to the constant detriment of her relationship with her DH.

I didn't have my Mum but I did have all three of my sisters with me in labour. It was very relaxing to have the three people I trusted most with me. Also they looked after me where my husband would have needed entertaining!

My mum was there as my partner called her from the hospital when i was asleep (induction instead of home birth). I didnt think i would want her there. Turned out they made a brilliant team.