Poll-Your Mum at the birth?

[IndecisivePramBuyer81]

For those with DH's - did you have/would you have your Mum at the birth of your first child?

No under no circumstances.
no DH = ask DSis
no DSis = ask friend
no friend = hire doula.

still no Mum

I did and I regret it it was NOT helpful. Don't recommend.

DS1 - DP and Mum - not a positive experience and she found it traumatic.
DS2 - DP delivered him when we were alone in the room and the midwives had buggered off for a coffee break
DS3 - DP and 2 midwives.

DP pretty incidental and useless in first and third - second did nothing but, in fairness, caught him at the end and pressed emergency buzzer to get the mws in. Third, ept handing me bloody capri suns until I projectile vomitted purple sick over him haha. Could probably do without him as well tbh.

Everyone gets on your nerves when you're in labour :)

No way. My mum would have LOVED to have been there and she tried to wangle her way in - she was staying with us at the time but i had made alternative arrangements for her for when i went into labour. we were having a home birth and she said she'd stay in her room all quiet and not get in the way... but... no way! i would have known she was there. defintiely just DP for me, and to be honest i would have been fine without him anyway - i went into the 'zone'!
i get on with my mum but couldn't have stood her 'helpful' comments, and also thought it wouldn't be far on DP.

*fair , not far!

As much as I love my Mum, the only person I've wanted with me during childbirth is DH. It's always been a special time just for us as a couple and then as a family. While your Mum may want to be there at the birth of your child she can't assume that you and your DH want her there, and her disappointment is not your problem to fix.

My friend's Mum drove her and her DH to hospital in the early hours when she was in fairly advanced labour. Groaning through a contraction before getting in the car her Mum said that she might wake the neighbours. I think my friend's reply of "Fuck the neighbours!" was fairly self-controlled

My mum wants to be at the birth of this dc no.4 she wanted to be at birth of first but we lived so far away. so dd was dp ds1 was me on my own and ds2 was botched homebirth ending in me giving birth in hospital on my own again. This time as we have babysitters and mum wants to be there as well it's going to be a very crowded labour room and I can't be arsed with it have said that they can both be in the room as long as they don't talk to me touch me or try to interfere in anyway at all I just want to do this one on my own as well.

Nope. I think it would upset her as I'm her little girl and shed want to make it all ok for me.
DH sees me as a strong adult woman so is much more appropriate.

Mmm, difficult as my mum died 12 years ago, but I have had my sister in addition to my husband at the birth of one of my children. She really wanted to be there, and I was fine with it

My Mum ended up being at my first birth - it was totally unplanned as I was four weeks early and with her whilst DH was 60 miles away. It was so lovely having her there while I waited for him to come then by the time I moved up to delivery, I didn't care either way if she came. (DH was there at this point)

My Mum is a very pragmatic Irishwoman who doesn't cry or say big 'I love you's but I could tell how amazing it all was to her, she also cried!! DH was a bit squeamish about cutting the cord so asked if she would like to and it's all just a wonderful memory. If someone had asked me in advance if I'd like my mum to be there it would have been a vehement 'NO WAY'!!!

The only bit when I thought I might get cross was when she said 'Oooh, it's just like Holby City'

I went on to have two home births after that and was very happy to be on my own with DH.

I had partner and mum there at both births and really glad I did as DP was quite squeamish and not very helpful!!

No. My Mum and I are really close, and she has a medical background so has the potential to be very helpful, but it was still a no for me for a few reasons. Firstly, I was only allowed one person in with me according to hospital policy, so that was always going to be DH. Secondly, Mum would want to make it all better and would probably get on my nerves. Also, my Mum (I'm adopted) has never given birth and I really wasn't sure whether for her sake it would be the best idea.

That said, if DH couldn't have been there, then I might have reconsidered all that and had a good talk.

She was pretty indispensable after the birth mind you. Between dealing with a couple of difficult midwives, translating the medical speak when DD was taken to NICU, DH and I would have been lost without her. She even somehow (the special paediatric nurse handshake I'm guessing) got permission to go into NICU and hold DD when she was delivering pumped breast milk after I had been discharged (strict parents only rule)

If we were going again, I'd still have DH at birth, but I'd have Mum close by for afterwards. Especially as DH is brilliant during the birth but all his blood/hospital squeamishness kicks straight back in afterwards and had to leave when I was having my blood pressure taken

No. She would have driven me mad!

But having said that, I had my sister at the birth of my first child. It ended up being long, drawn out and slightly traumatic and she was a godsend as she'd given birth 3 times herself and knew what she was talking about!

I'm currently pregnant and having my mum and DP at the birth. I'm very, very close with my mum and would really love for her to be there :)

No way! She would just find some way about it all being about her :-(

Never ever ever. Why?! It's not about her.

tbh, I'd actually rather not have DH present: I go 'into' myself when in labour and his support is annoying rather than helpful. But I could never deny him the experience of seeing his babies being born so I just suck it up..

Just no. I'd prefer to have been alone. A few years ago when she came to an appointment with me, spoke to the dr for me as if I were a small child (or tried).

Good god no!

It depends on the relationship you have with your mum. As an only child and my dad had died we always had a caring close relationship. DH doesn't drive so mum drove us to hospital and she just stayed. DH went off to town for two hours so I'd have gone mad if I'd been alone. My mum was a star as I had a difficult birth and DH got emotional. She kept her cool and told the staff when I had a bad allergic reaction. When they had to rush with DD to intensive care with DH my mum stayed with me in the delivery room and calmed me. She was an absolute star and I was thrilled my two favourite people were with me for that precious and also stressful time. She was thrilled I wanted her there too, and it just felt right.

no way!

I did four out of five times, I couldn't have done it without my mum. I actually had MIL as well.

As much as I love her... no, no, no, no, NO!

Oh my goodness, no. Cannot imagine anyone less likely to keep me calm.

I feel stressed enough about her insisting on moving in on my due date to look after DD. I would also be quite happy going in on my own if necessary but she wouldn't take no for an answer. I guess I am 'lucky' tho. I wouldn't want DD going to someone she didn't know well and so I am sucking that part up.

I had Mum and DH at my first birth, would have had her again if she wasn't doing babysitting duties.

It really helped to have one person just focused on me and one person focused on everything else. Also, she's amazing and I love her and wanted to share this with her. My DH is secure enough in our relationship to not have felt pushed out at all, he thought it was great as he got ham sandwiches made for him and got to have a kip half way through.

Yes ... if nobody else on the planet was available at the time!