What was second labour like if you had a tough time first time around?

[AmIGoingMad]

Hello! I have a gorgeous DS who is 2.3 yrs old. His birth was pretty hard going but all worked out well in the end. I'm currently nearly 30wks pregnant with number 2 and am starting to really panic about the birth.

If you had a tough first time, was the second any better? How did you psych yourself up for it? Obviously this little one will be coming out, I just need some help to stop freaking myself out!

tuning in for reassurance in case I go again....

First time round was awful. Long, difficult labour, 31hrs, 8hrs at fully dilated, emergency transfer, episiotomy, attempted ventouse, attempted rotation, dd v distressed, emcs. The pain was indescribable.

Second time round? Well it was longer at 38hrs but absolutely painfree. Had the same problem in that he got stuck in a crap position and I had another emcs but it was v positive. Went in and came out laughing. No trauma.

I found the hardest thing was trying for another which was why there is 4yrs between mine. I had birth trauma counselling first. I then had a brilliant, brilliant consultant who worked with me to decide what I would and wouldn't consent to, how we would manage another labour and I felt more prepared, more in control and more aware of the birth being a means to an end. It was the start of something, not the end. I talked about first time round endlessly and I had good support from midwives and a consultant team. Every single member of staff had my notes and they all had clear info on them about birth trauma. The staff were extraordinarily kind and the whole thing was positive second time round.

2nd time round was, dare I say it, enjoyable!

1st time included almost every intervention imaginable, bar a C-section, and lasted 14 hours.

2nd time round was much more of a text book affair and lasted a blissful (well, almost!) 6 hours.

3rd.....hmmm, that's another story!!

OP, try not to think too much about your first labour, this one will probably be completely different but will ultimately result in another "gorgeous" cherub.

Good luck

Ds1 was drama, emergency transfer, pushed for 4 hours, 3rd degree tear, apgar of 2 and resuscitated twice when born, followed by me haemorrhaging
And having emergency surgery. Very traumatic.

Ds2 18 months later literally popped out after 3 hours labour (first 2 of which i though were trapped wind - duuuuur!) at local birthing centre, pushed twice, didn't even cause a graze hopefully not due to giant fanjo In fact it was so different I shook with shock afterwards.

Lots of my friends have gone on to have very straightforward second labours after traumatic firsts x

Impossible to predict of course but I think on average second labours are shorter and easier. My first was hideously long and I did have almost everything thrown at me and just about got away without a cs. In my second labour I was much more prepared for what would happen and actually really enjoyed it (which sounds ridiculous with only gas and air compared to epidural the first time, but is totally true).
Good luck

First one was bloody awful - ventouse and forceps delivery after my contractions stopped when I was fully dilated. Episiotomy and a tear.
Second one was so much easier - only about three hours and no tear or episiotomy with just gas and air.

2nd was fairly hassle free compared to 1st, thankfully.

My first - shoulder dystocia (left my son with erbs palsy). Badly mismanaged. He was totally wedged. Sirens blaring. People storming in. He needed to be resuscitated. I haemorraged. We both could have died.

My second - his heart rate dipped a bit with each contraction but came right back up and I had to stop pushing while they got the cord from round his neck but when that was done, he slipped right out.

My first was 10lb 4oz
My second was 10lb 5 oz!
both were inductions.
Both took about 4 days from first gel to delivering.

Hi there, AmI!
I recognise you from the June 2013 thread (which I haven't participated on much since Christmas). I am marking my space as this is exactly what I am wondering! Let's keep our fingers crossed for some good 2nd birth experiences.

My first was 69 hours from 1st contraction and end up in theatre with all the interventions possible. My second was a 5 hour calm and peaceful water birth. Hope you have a great experience and don't worry to much.

First time - 2 day marathon labour topped off by an emergency slash and grab which left baby in SCBU and me in HDU. Second time - not sure if actually in labour till fully dilated, which happened so rapidly I didn't even manage to get out of my bedroom to give birth! (I was 'high risk' with a hospital birth under consultant care planned )

My first was okay so not as traumatic as yours, lasted 13 hours and pushed for 2 hours, which was the hardest bit. Second labour was much faster 3 hours from start to finish, no time for any pain relief and she flew out in 4 pushes. There was none of the straining and pushing and feeling like nothing was happening second time round - I guess my birth canal was a lot stretchier after giving birth to ds1!

2nd time a lot quicker but more painful In my experience.
Don't know if it's just because 1st time around nothing could have been as bad as what I was expecting it to be like and everything went pretty straightforward so just felt relieved when it was all over to be honest !
Then 2nd time didn't really think about the labour til it started , thought I will be ok because I've done it before but should have mentally prepared more for sure.
Good Luck OP !

My second was a bloody bastard identical carbon-copy of my first
and ended in intervention again (vacuum)

I was utterly pissed off because I had been given all these speeches:

'each child is different'

'this time your body knows what to do'
'second time is always quicker'
'second time always easier'

I could not believe how similar it was and I know this is not what you want to hear, but occasionally it is the same however I survived it again and so will you OP: please do not think I do not get how you feel as I am expecting my third in seven weeks time...

I went through absolute panic attacks at Xmas - could not get past it at all and kept crying/unable to sleep/nightmares.

Then I realised that even though it felt like the nearest I was going to come to dying each time that ultimately - newsflash - I am still here and cannot change the outcome in two months apart from not stressing about it. So I have come to terms with it and am currently not at peace but am in denial not going to punish myself meantime.

I will admit - tmi - I panic a little if I am constipated and/or trying to push out a big poo (nice I know) as I think - feck, I can't even manage this. How the feck am I going to manage with a 37cm head?

But as long as DC3 is healthy and I survive then that is what I am trying to focus on. A very sympathetic friend of mine has just given me a copy of Hypnobirthing by Marie F Mongan complete with CD...I have no idea if it will help me or not but putting aside my scepticism I will give it a go in the next few weeks as I have nothing to lose by having a go.

I wish you luck and hope you have a better experience this time around.
Whilst I myself would adore a 'sneeze birth' or an 'orgasmic birth' I wish!!
I am preparing myself mentally for more of the same. Others though like some posters above can vouch for a better time of it so although I am normally scadenfreudig I hope you are like them rather than me!

xx

HI every one, Im wondering the same but with an 18 year gap! midwife said it wouldn't matter about the time gap but I kinda thought every thing would have shrunk back...

Please tell me this one, due in 21 days, will fly out!!

schadenfreudig! stupidmummybrain

seriouscakeeater (great name!)

It will fly out!!!

Only 9 years gap between mine cakeeater but 2nd one was still much much quicker and much much easier (thank god)

Ca 20 hours with my first, 3 hours of pushing, then forceps, very very grim. Second was 3 hours (only 30 mins at hospital) few puffs of gas and air and a couple of pushes and out she shot! Was showered and eating toast looking at a sleeping baby within an hour of giving birth, was surreal compared to the first time when it felt like my nethers had been in a car crash! Everything else, breast feeding etc, also was easier after an easy birth.

yay! hope so cautionary. I had a pretty much easy-ish with my dd, just gas and air and pethadine around 5 hours. OR have I fooled my self and forgotten about the complete agony ha ha

My second labour was a dream compared to the first. But it all depends on the position of the baby.

Both straightforward but second time was so much better. My recovery second time round was much, much better.

I looked like I'd been run over the first time and I had really sore legs, perineum, dreadful after pains, labial tearing, stitches, grazes etc etc. It was horrific and it took 10 days until I could walk without practically crying and I was dosed up on paracetamol and ibuprofen and it wasn't touching the pain.

Second time round I felt awesome! Labour was about the same length because dd was back to back but it was all quite calm and manageable. After delivery I gave dd her first feed while drinking prosecco! I did have a terrible pregnancy - depression and SPD but both went as soon as I was in labour. I think the juxtaposition of horrendous pregnancy (and parts of it were the darkest days of my life), an expectation of a terrible time and the reality of it being ok made it feel better than it was. No after pains either.

My first took three days and three hours of pushing, they threatened forvceps and ventouse. In the end I just had an episiotomy and then he came out.

Second labour was 7 he's, spent mist if it in the bath then delivered kneeling up on bed.

3rd took three hours, again bath then kneeling up on bed.

4th took under one hour, in birthing pool.

5th took three hours was harder as she was back to back but still minimal pushing and midwife said she would have shot out had she been the right way round.

My 4th was physically my hardest (child was far bigger than my other 3) but had the best midwives and health care staff and emotionally far better than my 1st (young first timer) or 3rd (which was the worst, but not physically, but with unsupportive midwifes and a retained placenta that needed manual removal, it's the one that I look back on as the worst).

My 2nd was by far my easiest in all ways though, so I can give you that .