What was second labour like if you had a tough time first time around?

[AmIGoingMad]

Hello! I have a gorgeous DS who is 2.3 yrs old. His birth was pretty hard going but all worked out well in the end. I'm currently nearly 30wks pregnant with number 2 and am starting to really panic about the birth.

If you had a tough first time, was the second any better? How did you psych yourself up for it? Obviously this little one will be coming out, I just need some help to stop freaking myself out!

My second was much more painful than my first and because I was more 'aware' of things I think that made it harder too. In a way, with my first I liked not knowing what to really expect. I felt quite traumatised after my second. My first labour also lasted just 48 minutes, whereas with my second it was around 20 hours.

My third is due in two weeks and i a just trying not to think about it.

First time 36 hrs in delivery room.
Second time 2 hrs.
I know which one I liked best

Official established labour per my notes:

1st: 28 hours
2nd: 11 MINUTES

HTH

1st time ok! Would have been 4 hours if she hadn't got stuck! Ended up forceps and big blood loss. Blood transfusion and 3rd degree tears! Ow!! Baby 7 lb
2 nd time 45 minute unplanned home birth! Beautiful experience, 9lb 2 baby.
So yes, much easier x

These are all so encouraging! I'm sorry to hear the trauma that lots have experienced and thank you for sharing. It's true that even though we've had such difficult times, its been worth it. And like someone said upthread- we've survived it once and can do again. That's what I really need to start chanting and having as my mantra as I know it's the truth, I'm just struggling to make it stick in my head!

My first was v long, v painful (2 weeks overdue, induced, and it came on like a bloody express train - I wasn't ready for it), he was back to back and eventually dragged out with a ventouse following an epidural - cone head for him, lots of blood loss and stitches for me.

Second was a lovely, gradual labour, manageable with low-level pain relief, had him within just a couple of hours of going into established labour - such a different experience. I really felt that my body somehow knew what to do second (and third!) time round.

Good luck, hope it all goes really well .

DS1 52 hours first contraction to birth. Attempted waterbirth ended in 4 hour second stage, DS1 stuck LOT and asynclitic, spinal, episiotomy and kiellands forceps rotation in theatre. Hideous.

DS2 8 hours first contraction to birth, 20 minute second stage, no interventions, no tears. It healed the trauma from the first time.

However, second time I was so determined to keep an open mind that I didn't really prepare mentally for the birth so spent most of the labour in a blind panic. First time I was super-calm until he got stuck!

My second labour was exactly the same. Posterior again, despite doing everything they tell you for ages beforehand. Non progressive, hours and hours of not dilating but contractions 5 mins or less apart, loads of intervention; synto drip, breaking waters etc but second time round it was a C section not forceps. Nevermind the 2 days at home with loads of contractions and no sleep.

Hmmpphhhh I'll have an elective c section if I ever did it again

But both times I had the loveliest and most supportive midwives and obstetricians etc. So despite it being the same basically, it was all ok.

Try not to worry easier said than done most peoples labours are better next time round.

First time was awful, 2nd time like shelling peas - and a much bigger baby.

Best of luck

My first birth was really hard, long, baby was back to back and ended up with ventouse delivery and third degree tear. Ouch.
Second labor however was so different. Still quite long but more manageable, gas and air only and no problems. Baby was born and straight onto my chest, dimmed lights and lovely midwives. It hurt, obviously but in a weird way I enjoyed it second time around, Asti all went quite smoothly.

I had a ELC second time round, I barely think about it now at all, recovery wasn't a walk in the park, but I got through it all intact. The first birth stayed with me for about 4 years. Sorry, not much help there.

First DD 5 hours

second DD under an hour. Hubby nearly delievered her! Luckily paramendic ran in when her head was out. DH tried to get me into a taxi but luckily I refused or we would of had a cleaning bill.

Second obvioulsy easier but scary as was so quick.

1st time round - v stuck baby, nasty forceps delivery in theatre prepped for CS, episiotomy, 3 days in hosp & after 9 days I was readmitted very ill with postpartum sepsis. So not great.Total labour probably 10+ hours.

2nd time round (21 months later) - a lot better overall & a far easier delivery although student midwife being uber-cautious did wreck things a bit at the end. He was born very very fast which came as quite a shock. Total labour was 4 hours & I was home the next day.

Before 2nd labour I'd done a lot of yoga, breathing, relaxing, visualising sort of stuff which came in very helpful as I felt much more in control of things and was managing well during the contractions (to the point that the student MW thought I was not as far on as I was)

Good luck. Most of the people I know who had a hard time with the 1st one, had a better 2nd delivery.

Second time much less painful, also contractions only half the length of first labour, and always with decent gaps inbetween.

My second was bloody brilliant. Boxing night, under two hours from waters breaking to baby on chest, entirely natural as we nearly didn't get to the bloody hospital (and I had been so looking forward to the big tub) and I lay breastfeeding my 10 lb 7 oz baby and laughing and joking around, feeling like going out clubbing.
I never go out clubbing, for context. Never. I go home, drink tea, and have an early night.

My first was a 22 hour induction, 2 hours of pushing, too tired to even hold my baby when he emerged, just wanted to short and sleep and cry.

My second felt extremely redemptive. But to get that super fast birth, I had been having mega BH contractions for a full month, and was walking around 3-4 cm dilated for all of the Christmas week. So I had a hermit last month of pregnancy, but a BRILLIANT birth. I enjoyed it so much I would consider a third child if I didn't hate being pregnant so much..

Hi not read all the posts but first labour was fairly "normal" though I hated evey minute and certainly didn't "forget" the pain so I was dreading the second.

One of my friends suggested yoga (which usually I hate), saying it had helpe her, so at 35 weeks I took yoga up. I also bought the Maggie
Howell hypno CD from amazon and tried to listen to that regularly.

Both of the above really helped with breathing in labour.

Second labour much better than the first. Much quicker. Was at 6 cm by the time I got to triage then she was out 2 hours later. Pushing for only 15 mins compared with 2 hours last time. No time for drugs this time (pethidine last time) only g&a.

Make no mistake it was still as painful as DD1 but I felt much more psyched after yoga/hypno prep, I was able to control my breathing better, and it was quicker.

Good luck!

(Ps no tearing this time round either).

I loved hypno birthing btw, helped me manage the hour in the car which was basically most of my labour
Still hurts like buggary but I didn't panic and breathed through each one, feeling focussed and purposeful. Start now, though, your need time to practice.

Thank you for this post Op. had a rough time with my first both during the birth and after but all these stories make it much less scary to have another and make me realise an intervention free first birth more the exception than the norm! Good luck!

First time, 2.7 years ago, labour took 28 hours, 4 hours active pushing, episiotomy & tear, pretty traumatic and took months to physically recover.

Second time, 4 days ago, labour took less than 5 hours, 10 minutes active pushing, one tiny tear, pretty mobile straight afterwards & going down slides with DC1 within 36 hours.

DC1 was 9lbs 6oz and DC2 9lbs 10oz too, so size didn't seem a factor (had always assumed first labour was horrendous due to her size but now I think it was more my body's unsteadiness!). Attempting to relax and get on with the inevitable possibly helped a little bit (I was so terrified of the - admittedly agonising- crowning with DC1 that I probably inadvertently delayed it!).

It can be so much better and easier, really hope it is for you.

This is all so reassuring! My first was pretty easy, as they go...about 6 hours and I handled it much better than I thought I would. I did have a second degree tear, though.

So I'm hoping this one (due in May, eek!) will be even easier.

1st - 1 week early, quite a long labour, but I loved it and really enjoyed and was anxious I wouldn't enjoy it as much 2nd time round.

2nd - waters broke at 34 weeks, and had a lovely labour, but due to being prem, he was in SCBU for 12 days - was NOT prepared for that!!

Enjoyed both births, but just be prepared for the unexpected!

First one - slow start and OK
Second one - pretty fast and also OK - just make sure you get to where you need to be in time !

Pushing stage was fairly similar with both.

Used water with both, DD born in pool in London teaching hospital, DS born in the stix where water pool was "unavailable" - but was OK anyhow

All the best to you !

1st 0 definitely most traumatic, massive episiotomy and forceps delivery, I had a hard time for the first year.

then it got better, 2nd time round was easier, I actually cut the cord which was lovely

3rd was fast, so very good but hurt as hell, 3 pushes!

4th C-section as he baby was footling breech

5th fairly quick, my biggest at 9lb 14, lots of stitches (VBAC)

6th - my smallest at 8lb 3 and I needed no stitches, so best birth probably, also very quick recovery

I'm not afraid of giving birth anymore

reglama - "it healed the trauma from the first time" - my exact words after my second was born!

2nd was way easier and that's when I realized how bad the first birth was!
I had a hard time for the very first year, but suddenly it was clear and a huge relief that that was due to the awful birth my body went through 1st time round.

The fact you went through something similar and described it the same way makes me feel better also!
good to know that it wasn't just me who felt that the 2nd birth made up for the first!
thank you so much for saying it!