What was second labour like if you had a tough time first time around?

[AmIGoingMad]

Hello! I have a gorgeous DS who is 2.3 yrs old. His birth was pretty hard going but all worked out well in the end. I'm currently nearly 30wks pregnant with number 2 and am starting to really panic about the birth.

If you had a tough first time, was the second any better? How did you psych yourself up for it? Obviously this little one will be coming out, I just need some help to stop freaking myself out!

My second was worse. But it was an induction and too fast for pain relief. First was a lovely, steady 9 hour spontaneous vaginal delivery. Second was 20 minutes of agony. DP missed it :( But 2 beautiful daughters, so no complaints.

See my biggest was my easiest, 10lb 13oz ds4 who had a head size that was off the top of the chart.

Whereas no 5 my smallest was my hardest! Go figure.

First time, 40 hour labour, asynclitic baby, doctor had a rummage around and said she wasn't even going to try ventouse given how firmly DS was wedged in, EMCS.

Second time, 5 hours from first twinge to holding baby, only used TENS and gas & air, arrived at hospital to find I was already 9cm dilated. Nice uncomplicated VBAC.

And DD1 had exactly the same sized head as DS; it seemed to be all in the positioning.

Ist DS
Preclampsia 32 weeks so spent 7 weeks in hospital. Started inducing 6.30am Monday finally went into labour Tuesday night. Ended up theatre after failed ventuese for emergency cs if forces failed which thankfully they didn't. Had an episiostomy so lots of stitches. Ds was born 10.47 Wednesday night, so nearly 3 full days.
Dd was born 2 years 5 days later.
Went into labour at 37.2 weeks at 6pm and she was born 10.47 so around 4 hours. Just a tiny tear and no stitches. No pain relief either.

My second was better than my first but twice as long and painful due to 'malpositioned' baby. But I preferred a longer labour because the first baby was precipitous and traumatic. Second felt lots more normal.

Well...I'm currently feeding the result of labour #2

I have to say labour was more painful BUT it was with little pain relief (g and a before it being confiscated by mean mws) and over in two hours start to finish rather than 16 hours with DS, pethadine, gas and air and epidural! DSs heartbeat also slowed due to pain relief drugs and was back to back as failed to turn,

I thought the epi the first time round had 'taken the edge off'

Although more painful there was so little intervention that we're now I'm day fiveish and I've been running about in the back garden playing football with DS.

I think for me it's less about the labour more about the utter bliss of having a DC2 and being far less traumatised by the shock of becoming a mum - be that through labour or anything else. I too needed counselling connected in part with labour. I had really bad hallucinations that I thought were from the peth. Turns out I had them second time too from g and a before mw took it away - so perhaps just my response to pain?

Everything better second time. Enjoy!!!!!

First time ok, second time terrible

I had a 4hr labour with my DS, 2nd due is september MW convinced it will will be even faster. I however lost loads and loads of blood (3.5pts) and that made it trumatic hoping for none of that this time even if it takes longer

First was 23 hours of labour, got very stressful and tiring.Second went to labour ward at 2pm I was 3cm dilated,had 2 massive contractions he was born at 2.22pm!
I picked him up amd walked back to the ward with him.I didn't really have a labour to talk off.

Oh my God feelingdizzy!!!!!! Jeez Louise!! You must have been good in
past life!!!

My first birth was fine, my second not good - very fast but traumatic as DS2 was in distress.

The bit afterwards was better though. I knew what I needed, what I should do with him and how to feed and I definitely recovered faster as a result. I didn't think he was going to break if I changed his nappy! And I was an old hand at sleep deprivation!

First time indescribably awful. Second beautiful natural drug free. I would do the second 1000 times before I would do the first.

My second time was the polar opposite of my first birth.

First was 52 hour nightmare ending in forceps with zero pain relief and a baby that needed resuscitation. I was very anxious about my second. I met with the consultant and discussed my first birth ( a lot of issues were because of mismanagement). He offered me a section but made clear he thought a second natural birth would most likely be a lot easier. I felt more confident after speaking to him.

I went on to have my second in under 2 hours and I've had head aches with worse pain. 5 pushes and he was out. I felt elated about it and was so glad I had not taken the section as my second birth really helped heal the trauma of the first, for me.

Good luck!

Thank you all so much for taking the time to respond. I really appreciate it!

I know there's no way of predicting but it's really helping to hear about your experiences- both positive and otherwise.

Thanks!

Mrsbungle - that's lovely. I feel similar.

I would add that with my second (much easier and quicker), I had done some more reading, thought about how I might manage better. So instead of labouring on my back or in the birth pool as ith my first I spent erly labour with my second walking for 6 hours as it helped me manage the pain, then laboured how I felt most comfortable kneeling and resting my head nd arms on the bed.

First, 10 days overdue, waters broke, laboured for 9 hours then induced as no progress, epidural, forceps, post partum haemorrhage, tears, anaemic for months (and felt wiped out), 5 days in hospital.

Second, 10 days overdue, laboured 6 hours til fully dilated, baby came out with just gas and air, small tear, home within a few hours, felt fine.

I think staying active and upright helped things progress well, and helped me manage the pain better. Good luck!

EMCS after 26 hours labour first time

2nd time ELCS-yes definately easier!

First time - 37 hours OP baby, back labour, augmention, ARM, ventouse, diamorphine, tear, stitches, dd1 was 9lb 12oz.

Second time - 10 hours, totally spontaneous labour at 38+4, small tear, couple of stitches, ds was 9lb 3oz. G&A only.

Third time - induced at 36+6 as I was very unwell, 12 hour labour, large tear due to very rapid delivery (second stage of about 5 mins), stitching in theatre, G&A only, dd2 was 7lb 15oz.

DD was 32weeks and labour was 58 hours, excruciating pain, ended up with a forceps delivery and a spinal...DD obviously small and in trouble and in NICU for 2 weeks, SCBU for 4 weeks. Now an amazing 2 year old :)
DS...1 hour 4 minutes. DH didn't even make it, when they got hold of him I could feel the head coming down. DS was 35weeks.
Very different births, never know what to expect!

Definitely! First was an induction, 3 days of pessaries to get me started which meant 3 days of irregular contractions and no sleep then the drip which led to an epidural, a long second stage, a 2nd degree tear, a post parting haemorrhage, a week in hospital and I am pretty sure was responsible for PND. Second was lovely, went into labour naturally, stayed mobile, had my TENS machine and a bit of gas and air at the end, delivered DD kneeling on the bed, not even a graze and only 100ml blood loss. Was up and about straight away and home in time for tea.

Oh and seriouscakeeater don't worry, there was 16 years between them but I guess it's like riding a bike, your body doesn't forget!

*post partum haemorrhage

Can I just ask a random question about this? Am 22 weeks pregnant with DD2 (second child). My first labour was fine but long - three days of painful contractions before I went to hospital at only 3-4cm (but then only six hours from that point including 2 hours of pushing). The hospital didn't want me to come in until I was having contractions every 2-3 mins, but they were still 4 mins apart when I finally gave up and went in.

Given how fast lots of second labours seem to be, and the fact that my first labour was really only six hours after I got into established labour, I'm worried that if I try to wait until my contractions are really regular the baby will be half way out! Especially as I'll have to wait for my dad and stepmum to drive 45 mins to get to us to look after DD1, and then drive 30 mins to the hospital! Those of you who had hospital/MLU births - did you just go straight there once the contractions started?

My waters didn't break at all, btw - midwife broke them manually about 20 mins before DD came out...

my second was in some ways worse than my first.

DC1's birth involved a long first stage with non-stop vomiting for the last 8 hours of it, 2 hour second stage and then placenta accreta which meant theatre, 3 litres of blood transfused and a third stage lasting nine days!
DC2's i had to be induced, but despite being 10 days over i was nowhere near engaged which meant it all took ages as it had to be senior staff who did pessaries, etc. ended up monitored for hours on end, not able to move, then went from 3-10cm in an hour, baby in distress, failed forceps, emergency CS (2 litres of plasma transfused due to antibodies cause by first blood transfusion).

i had a panic attack in the hospital after i'd been induced but before anything started happening, and i ended up with yet another really medicalised birth but i dealt with the aftermath of it all SO much better because i didn't have unrealistic expectations. first time round i'd expected an 8-12 hour labour, hoped to use the birthing pool, etc. whereas second time round i just didn't want to die! i bonded faster with DC2, didn't get PND/anxiety, made a much better attempt at BFing, and was able to focus on the positives much more.

i think i would have coped much better if i hadn't had to be induced - being in the hospital stressed me out enormously. but i did as much as i could to try and be positive about it - hypnobirth CDs, homeopathic remedies, exercise, etc.

DS 36 hours from waters breaking, ventouse, episiotomy etc
DD 1hr 20 from first contraction, got to hospital gave birth 4 mins later. Had her standing up, just got my pants off in time.

Ridiculously, with DD, I had the urge to push at home and kept trying to do a poo. FFS I'd already had one, you'd think I'd have realised .

Am looking into the hypnobirthing CDs as we speak! I know that's not a magical cure but it helps to feel like I'm being proactive in calming my worries.