What was second labour like if you had a tough time first time around?

[AmIGoingMad]

Hello! I have a gorgeous DS who is 2.3 yrs old. His birth was pretty hard going but all worked out well in the end. I'm currently nearly 30wks pregnant with number 2 and am starting to really panic about the birth.
If you had a tough first time, was the second any better? How did you psych yourself up for it? Obviously this little one will be coming out, I just need some help to stop freaking myself out!

[insanityscratching]

First was an induction after PROM at 37 weeks,12 hours, epidural, 2nd degree tear.
Second was ELCS at 40 weeks due to breech baby.
I eventually got an easy birth with number five.

[Voodika]

First time.. He got stuck, alarms were rung, epidural given, hoards of people came in and poor DS lost heartbeat and was pulled out with very forceful ventouse. All was fine but we found it very scary. I felt like it took a long time for me to heal and recover.
Second time... Back to back but I managed in a small birthing unit with limited pain relief and my body seemed to have learnt what to do. I remember thinking in the middle of it all promising myself that I would never do it again. Dd was fine and I recovered so fast afterwards compared with the first time.
Third time.... Decided I would do it again, very quick labour and I felt like my body knew exactly what to do. I also felt a lot more confident, in control and less scared. No pain relief because it was so quick and no tearing- yay!
Good luck I hope it goes well.

[Confused40]

Currently pg with 2nd and although scared, only because I don't actually remember much of the pain from DS1.
Bit of an age gap between DS1 and what will be DD2, but, my first labour took just over an hour, much to the amazement of the midwives, and he weighed 8lb 6ozs. I didn't know what a contraction felt like and just pushed when I thought it was enough of a time gap.
I was and still am very fit and active, and walk as much as possible. Had DS1 on a birthing stool, which I'd highly recommend. Wanted a water birth, but meconium when waters broke, so not possible.
DD2 will hopefully be born in a birthing pool, if all goes well. Am having DD2 in birthing centre.
I'm worried as I with DS1 I didn't know what a contraction felt like, so haven't got anything to go by. Much to amazement of midwives, again!
Have heard so many horror stories, and, they stop as soon as I say, oh, DS1 was born in just under an hour, no pain relief and weighed 8lb 6oz's!!

[ShowOfHands]

I think what you learn from a first traumatic time is that you have no control over the variables. I did everything 'right' first time round. Active labour, hypnobirthing, upright, mobile, no drugs etc and dd was v stuck, labour awful and unmanageable. What I accepted was that it wasn't my fault and all you can do is deal with the hand given to you. So with that in mind, labour prep second time round wasn't about trying to achieve a certain birth, but trying to ensure that my attitude to it and the bits I could control were more likely. It's probably more about expectation and management of the unpredictable than hoping for a different progression iyswim.

[LittleCatZ]

In case it hasn't been said yet, when you think DC2 is on the way, get where you want to be for labour quickly.
This will avoid the comedy dash and almost having a baby in a hospital car park>lift>corridor>wheelchair. My records showed me 4cm on arrival (ludicrous) and DC2 was born 4 minutes later. I hope they sent a cleaner to the corridor, I did mention my waters had broken there while DH went to find me a wheelchair as I couldn't walk.
In summary, varied circumstances aside almost everyone I know had a faster 2nd birth.

[bicyclebuiltforfour]

Second was better, to the extent that I regret the preparation I did during my second pregnancy to prepare (which included paying a lot of money for a doula).

First was rupture of membranes followed by induction (no contractions to speak of) and ventouse. On the way DD's heartbeat didn't recover after contractions twice, and it got to the point of my being wheeled out of the room towards the OR for an emergency section before they decided to let me continue naturally: incredibly scary since I thought they'd lost the heartbeat and the baby was dead. They then used a speculum to stretch out my cervix so that they could take a blood sample from her head to check oxygen levels: have never known pain like it. Anyway - was 42hrs of hell.

Second labour was shorter but not short (14hrs in hospital but I'd been at home in labour for about 6hrs before that and I reckon I'd been in early labour for a few days (I was 2cm at my doctor's appointment earlier in the day before the contractions turned regularly). I progressed slowly but steadily, doctor had to break my water since I stalled at 5cm, but I eventually got there and pushed him out. No drugs or interventions: all natural.

During pregnancy #2 I'd panicked about having a similar labour to #1 and so wrote a detailed birth plan, looked into hypno, hired a doula etc etc. When it came down to it I actually felt in control and confident: to the extent that DH had to remind me to call the doula - I didn't need (or, if I'm honest, want) her there. I'd done it once, despite the complications, so I could do it again.

[inadreamworld]

Yes definitely much much easier 2nd time around in my case! DD1 12 hour labour, induction and epidural. DD2 4 hour labour, 2 puffs of gas and v quick recovery too. Good luck!!

[MrsMarigold]

I feel bad I can't really remember too much from either - first was less traumatic - emergency c-section after about 5 hours pushing. Second 4 hours from waters breaking till delivery - VBAC. I was in total denial both times until about two weeks after the baby arrived. I will not be having a third child.

[louisianablue2000]

DD1 wasn't a terrible birth but took a long while to get started and I was eventually induced and had a 15 h labour, but that included 4h of pushing (but no 'urge' to push). G&A and pethidine for pain relief.

DD2 was textbook, 8h from first contraction to birth, 40mins second stage with involuntary pushes (aka backward vomitting) even though her shoulder was briefly stuck (so briefly I didn't know until I read the MW notes) but thankfully she came out on the next contraction and was fine. G&A for pain relief.

DS was early and had to be induced. Total labour 2.5h, 10mins from 5cm to birth. Had about 2 puffs of G&A due to speed of final stages of labour. Involuntary pushing again.

The people I know who haven't had better second labours have generally had fairly straightforward first labours.

[unlucky83]

For me the second was a dream in comparison to first...but I really believe a lot is the way you are treated, your state of mind and confidence...
I have clotty blood so risk of foetal death, do blood thinning injections and take aspirin. Have to stop aspirin a week or so before birth and injections 2 days before birth (risk of haemorrhage).
For DD1 I was described as 'overly anxious' and had a short labour (yeah right!). Physically fine - mentally traumatic. I was to be induced 3 days before due date. The whole build up was horrendous, weekly growth scans, at 37 weeks a scan had had to be repeated. Had bad braxton hicks 5 days before induction date - had to get checked out cos of blood thinners - by that stage I was begging them to get her out now while she was still alive. (Guess a bit my fault that - hope for the best, expect the worst - by dodgy scan week DD would have been fine, I'd started to get stuff ready -only just allowed myself to start believing she actually might make it).
Then hind waters broke 3 days before induction day- midwife didn't believe me -thought I kept peeing myself - I stopped the injections (a day early) against her advice. Next morning due to see consultant - because I was already in early stages of labour and my state of mind (they still didn't believe me about my waters) -kept me in and did my whole labour on maternity ward. Couldn't find me G&A until midnight and the labour suites were full. Finally space at 2am (time my labour started according to my notes ) 9+ cm dilated (before they found a porter), really wanting to push on the way there but told I mustn't (I would have ignored that for DD2!) ... then labour stopped...then DD1 was distressed - trying to monitor her heartbeat but pads on her head wouldn't stick cos she had a lot of hair ...had to have hormones to get it moving again...finally DD1 born at 8.59 - (a minute before I was due to go in to get induced)...beautiful and perfect! I got just a couple of minor tears. (I saw the 'waters' midwife on ward after and she said 'see everything was fine' and I'm afraid I wasn't very polite in my reply )
DD2 -6 years later - fortnightly scans and I'd done it before..and not being induced -much more confident (also they now thought the injections weren't such a big problem for bleeding). I got the 'show', stopped the injections...next evening contractions started then stopped at 7 mins apart and stayed there for 20 hours (midwife told me to go to bed and sleep - I think that was a mistake). Got them moving by walking through the contractions...went to hospital at 5 min apart, less than 2 hours later dc born - waters didn't break until 30 mins before she was born...they were still filling in the paperwork (and trying to find another midwife) - no tears - and last bit was so fast I couldn't hold her at first cos I was shaking from the shock, freezing cold... (but DD2 also beautiful and perfect though!)

[cansu]

first was awful. long painful and very medically managed.

second was much faster. i felt more in control. Much better.

[scampidoodle]

First was horrible - in pain from sciatica and could barely walk but hospital midwife told me to go home and when I insisted on staying they were completely unhelpful and just kept telling me how busy they were with more needy cases. Ended up barely conscious, throwing up, on drip to rehydrate me, then on drip to restart my contractions, catheterised; failed ventouse delivery then forceps and lots of Casualty style action with consultant and paeds rushing about. Was 18 hours from first (bad) contractions to the birth. DC1 had to stay in for a week being treated by SCBU due to distress during the birth.

Had a home birth second time - it was so different. Contractions (very mild) started around 1am, stronger by about 7.30am, midwife arrived 8.30am with gas and air and baby was delivered 2 hours later. I did end up in hospital due to a retained placenta, but only for one nice, quiet night and I think I got more sleep than I've had any night since!

[LadyEdith]

1st - epidural, 18 hours, big episiotomy, ventouse, loads of stitches. Took me a couple of weeks to feel normal.

2nd - 2 hours total. Just slithered out, no stitches. Felt absolutely fine immediately afterwards.

So yes, second time much better! Anecdotally, I'd say this is usually the case - so think positive!

[VisualiseAHorse]

This is quite a reassuring thread...we haven't started trying for our second yet, but I am already worried that the mental/emotional trauma I had first time round will strike again.

Like a PP said, I was in 'denial' about the whole thing, which wasn't a good place to start!!

[Floweryhat]

2nd time was blissful. 2 words: hypnosis & homebirth.

[Isitme1]

Marking my place.
Need to read through the full thread!
From the moment waters broke 11.30pm Monday night til friday 3.15am I had contractions every 3 mins but body wasn't dilating. I felt like my insides were burning and body was pushing itself.
Mw said dont be stupid and its nothing.
I was supposed to be induced but a different mw said ' I will make sure you go down last to be induced' and told mum to fuck off.
Staff were horrible. Mw left me for ages while I was pushing. Mum went to get herand she was munching on chocolates at the nurses station
Vagina wall tore apart, uterus came out after him, mw attempted to stitch me but the student mw pulled emergency button and surgeon came in. Upon his entry she pricked me and accused me of having hiv. SSurgeon kicked off with her and I was rushed to theatre for emergency surgery. Then I hemorrhaged. Blood levels wouldn't go up and was in hospital a week.
Giving me shivers thinking about it.
Ds was worth every bit. I remember getting up to tend to him and standing in a pool of my own blood.
Tried breastfeeding and he was allergic
Dh was out of the country nothing we could do about it.
This time round hes here and keeps reassuring me that it won't happen again but its still scary.
Its nice to heat that so many of you have had a good 2nd time.
X

[CheerfulYank]

Glad to hear this! I'm due with #2 in less than six weeks and am a bit nervous!

[Octopus37]

1st Labour - Was 6 days overdue, had been told I could have a sweep, but got to the hospital and they wouldn't do it. Went home, had 1st contaction at 10.35 that evening, tried birthing ball, tens machine, set off for hospital about 12.00-12.30 as pains were between every 2 and every 3 mns by then. Examined at 1.30ish (had just been offered gas and air), was told I was almost there. Two hours pushing, no time for pain relief. episiotomy right at the end. Horrendous piles made the pushing really diffult, Sounds fab cause under 5 hours, but in reality found it traumatic as it was all so quick/painful.
2nd Labour - Was 12 days overdue, midwives reckoned I had stopped myself going into labour cause I as so sacred. Had waters broken, at that point was 3cm, by 1pm was only 4/5cm so was put on a drip and given an epidural which was fab. at 3.20 was having problems entering my bladder and the baby's heart rate went a bit haphazard. Was examined, told that they could see the head and because of the heart rate had a ventouse delivery, born at 3.45. Had a second degree tear.
Personally much peferred the second experience, although obviously the heart rate aspect was scary.

[squidkid]

My first was a "good" birth (no interventions, no tears) but it was lengthy and I really really hope a second one would be quicker... I did 30 hours from waters breaking to baby and I was so shattered! First babs is only 6 months though so not doing it any time soon!

[Fairylea]

First time 67 hours (yes not a typo). Ended in ventouse. Swore never again.

10 years later (!) ... had ds by elective c section which I fought to have on previous birth trauma grounds.

C section was wonderful :)

[FrameyMcFrame]

Sorry, second time worse for me as back to back and then stuck....

[PiggyPlumPie]

I won't go into the details of each birth, but for me, the second time round I knew I could do it as I had done it before. That gave me confidence. However you gave birth first time, you did it and so can do it again!!

[juneau]

First time 16 hours, very painful, three hours pushing, very stressful, didn't know what I was doing, didn't know 'how' to push, utterly exhausted afterwards.

Second time 2 hours 20 mins, six pushes and he was out, utterly calm and not even very painful (just crowning really - everything else was easy), no pain relief, walked down the corridor with him in my arms after giving birth in the assessment room (he arrived so quickly they didn't have time to move me!). Felt wonderful afterwards - glowy and powerful and alive!

[exoticfruits]

Much easier-I knew what to expect. Number 3 even easier!

[JessieEssex]

First labour was great 8 hours, 30 mins of pushing, no stitches, home that evening.

Second labour was very different - 3 or 4 hours, very intense, not much pushing, no stitches. Still a positive experience, but bore no relation to the first!