I disagree with my birth story being taken off of here!

[himynameisfred]

and moved to bereavement.

It is a birth story, this is where birth stories go.

Does my daughter birth not qualify for here because of what happened??

Oh fred. I didn't see your thread, but i can see why you are cross. It is your choice and insensitive to move it without asking you

I don't like the bereavement section, it's like the mumsnet morgue :(

Ive now read it fred. Im so
Sorry for you. And your post goes a long way to raise awareness of ecv dangers. Love to you and angel x

Oh sweetheart. I haven't seen it but understand why you feel that why. Congratulations on your sweet angel daughter, and I'm so so sorry for you loss. x

I have asked MN to respond. That doesnt help but ive asked.

Im so sorry. X

It's not meant personally.

Lots of people have the Bereavement topic hidden because they don't want to be reminded of events they have gone through, and would find it very very upsetting to come across your story.

MNHQ have to try to make the decision that is best for the largest number of people, and it's inevitable that sometimes there is no decision that makes everyone happy.

Hello. We did let you know by PM, OP, that we thought it best to move your thread to Bereavement - where there are lots of posters who've been through the a similar experience to you, and who can offer the most brilliant support and advice.

We're absolutely sure you won't find it like the Mumsnet morgue.

So childbirth that goes badly shouldn't be spoken of in the childbirth section? :/

Trills thats a very valid point. fred perhaps in time the area will help you, people there have a real understanding of the pain you are feeling.

okay

it is her entrance into the world though, that I'm describing, her passing away a week and half later is meant to be a smaller part. :/ hmmph

am complying now, thanks for your thoughts, feel free to delete this thread now x

Fred I have literally just finished reading your thread but didn't feel it would be appropriate for me to comment as I know there are no words which could ease your pain and the I'm sure the last thing you want on your birth story is the obligatory sympathies when you should be congratulated for giving birth to a precious DD, Angel Elizabeth who was with you on earth for so little time but it sounds like that time was special for all of you!

MNHQ I think moving the thread so soon was insensitive whether the OP was notified or not, Fred was sharing her birth story, the fact that her DD is not at home with her now should not take away from the fact that she did give birth and has a story to share!

It is despicable to think that a story without a perfect ending should be moved to a more appropriate place to stop people from being upset, we can't shy away from our hide the fact that sometimes things don't end how we want.

I'm sure Fred will get plenty of support, help and advice from the wonderful people on the bereavement boards but it has to be her choice to move to that part of MN and venture into the discussions, boards and prayers which make so many others uncomfortable.

I understand himynsmeisfred
I think you should have been asked what you wanted.
I am so sorry that you lost your precios girl x

Our children should not be hidden away.
So sorry himynameisfred

I am so sorry and fwiw I too think you should have been asked if you wanted it moved .

Sometimes it feels that bereaved parents should be kept in a box and only brought out for a wee pat on the head at timely intervals for fear of infecting others with the grief .

i dont yhink it was fair to move the thread without asking the op. it is a birth story. adding something to the title so people can realise its upsetting makes sense.

i think mnhq have been horribly insensitive to mynameisfred

so sorry for the loss of your precious baby girl xxxx

I am quite shocked by this.

I might understand this if all traumatic or problematic births were kept from this section. They aren't. Are we trying to sanitise the topic of childbirth so that expectant mothers can only expect everything to turn out perfectly? No, and that wouldn't be helpful.

So in this case, MNHQ should be weighing up the trauma caused by keeping the thread versus removing it. Could anyone be more traumatised by happening across it in this section than the OP has been by this insensitive removal? No. I think you have an apology to make, MNHQ. The above wasn't particularly empathetic, was it?

OP, so sorry. :( xxx

I agree. You should have been asked.

Just stumbled across this in active convos and think it was the wrong decision to have it moved. The choice should have been that of the OP. If she wanted support from the bereavement section she can post in their herself. She posted in childbirth to share the story of her child's birth.

So so sorry for your loss fred.

MNHQ I think in future you should ask the op if such circumstances arise in the future.

I am really sorry, I posted on your other thread saying how sorry I am for your loss but I never congratulated you on the birth of your beautiful daughter. Congratulations on the birth of Angel xx

Shame on you mnhq. There are hundreds of threads in the wrong section and they are hardly ever touched.

I think it was very insensitive to move without waiting for the op to agree to it first.

I think you just didn't want to upset women whose children did survive on the childbirth forum, but what happened to Fred shouldn't be hidden away. It will increase the taboo on stillborns, SIDS etc.

fred I'm so sorry for your loss, amazing story of your angel though x

Agree MNHQ should reinstate and apologise to Fred!

What is more important making sure that someone MIGHT read it and get it upset, or providing support and allowing someone to share their story?

I think I know which most MNers would say is priority!

I might understand this if all traumatic or problematic births were kept from this section. They aren't. Are we trying to sanitise the topic of childbirth so that expectant mothers can only expect everything to turn out perfectly? No, and that wouldn't be helpful.

Put much better than I did, Loopy

This all makes me feel like we're back at Yorkhill, where the oncology ward wasn't signposted because 'Some people might find it upsetting.' What, that there's a cancer unit in a HOSPITAL!? Made my blood boil.