I disagree with my birth story being taken off of here!

[himynameisfred]

and moved to bereavement.

It is a birth story, this is where birth stories go.

Does my daughter birth not qualify for here because of what happened??

thank you mammytomany x

And expat, some big love to you too while you're here. xxx

fred I haven't read your story, I'm sorry for not knowing the details, but I can certainly empathise. I am still, 3 years later, unable to visit the bereavement boards. I simply cannot bear it. I know others get a lot from them, and I'm sure one day I'll be able to cope with them, but not now. I certainly wouldn't want to be redirected there unwittingly.

I hope you are OK. You will be, lovely, after a lot of time, years of tears and hopefully lots of love from friends. :)

Expat I have been to visit friends children in Yorkhill many times for relatively minor complaints and never knew about the Oncology ward not being sign posted.

That is another disgusting display of hiding away the 'taboos' to avoid causing discomfort!

I'm sure the parents having to visit their children on the ward must have been uncomfortable at times too, d
Were they issued gags to stop them polluting people s ears incase it offended them? I

My congratulations on the birth of your daughter.

Of course a birth story should be in "childbirth". A short life is just as important as a long one. Just because a poster already knows the duration of their DC's life, that does not mean that child was not born, nor that the milestones in their life should not be marked (or posted about) in the usual places.

That is a special kind of madness Expat .

It doesn't surprise me sadly , I get so fed up having to be the one to make other people feel better , in reality I would love to spend a whole day telling people how I really feel and answer truthfully how many children I have and how much it still sodding hurts , but I can only do that in the safe places, here and in real , it shouldn't be like this but it is .

Sorry , I will get back in my box now .

fred, I've just read your thread. I'm so sorry for your loss.

FWIW I don't think your thread should have been moved. Surely MNHQ could have tweaked the title to make make it clearer why it might be distressing, if they felt they had to do something. Moving it smacks of sweeping your experience under the carpet.

You should have been asked before your thread was moved, imo.

I am sorry for your loss.x

I agree 100%. Angel Elizabeth came into this world and that is not a bereavement. How patronising to tell hmnif that you are absolutely sure she won't find it as she just said she finds it. As for it upsetting others, well it should. All of us should feel upset at the loss of a gorgeous baby girl. People would want to grow up. Death is part of life and shouldn't be hidden or sanitised. I say this as someone who had severe birth anxiety and accessed perinatal mental health services etc. With all due respect fear is just fear. This is hmnif's story and it is up to her where to post it.

fred I am so sorry for the loss of your precious daughter and I'm also sorry that you have been treated so insensitively here. It is a topic very close to my heart, how the birth stories of children who die before, during or shortly after birth seem to be hidden. As if our children never were, as if our births never were, as if we were never pregnant, as if we never loved them.

I lost my little girl at three days old. I most certainly DID give birth to her and she is more than just a bereavement to me. She also made me a mummy. She's still part of my life and my family even though she is dead and she can can certainly have part of her story in childbirth. Why are these births not valid? Our births are still 'birth stories' - do they suddenly become something else when our children die? That process we went through something other than childbirth? REALLY?!

Just so that we can all pretend that childbirth always ends happily, that there are never any complications and that mothers and babies never, ever die. How ridiculous. I know it might upset people but as loopy rightly says, I'm sure they would be far less upset than Fred has been at this rather abrupt and insensitive removal.

expat - oh my, the oncology ward was not signposted because some people might find it upsetting? Really? It's just crazy. Sigh. I'm so sorry.

Also agree that this has been a poor decision by MNHQ.

Congratulations on the birth of your baby daughter, fred. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Just to be clear, we moved himynameisfred's thread to Bereavement purely because we'd like her to get some of the wonderful support we know to be there.

We were in no way trying to hustle her out of the Childbirth topic or make any kind of statement about her daughter's birth not being something she could describe or discuss - or something that others might not want to read.

Our thoughts and concern are only for her, and we did PM himynameisfred about this.

Congratulations, too, himynameisfred, on the birth of Angel. And, as we said to you via PM, we're moved and sorry for your loss and wish you much strength in the weeks ahead.

It may have been done with the best intentions but it was a bad decision.
I do not think I would have ever come back if that happened to me so soon after losing DD.

Fred, I've just read your birth story. Congratulations on the birth of Angel Elizabeth. I'm sorry that she was born poorly, but I'm glad you had some time to get to know her before she passed

It is up to Fred to decide where she would like to share her story and where to go for support not MNHQ.

But Helen, if that were your only motivation you would simply message her to let her know the topic exists and is available for her to post on, not move her thread. Sorry, I think you need to rethink this.

Surely Helen if you have no problem with it being in childbirth, and Fred opted to put it there, then 'if its not broken don't fix it' should apply

but himynameisfred didn't want it moved. so you aren't only thinking of her are you?

did someone report it??

someone chose to post about childbirth in the childbirth topic... I am sure if himynameisfred wanted support from the bereavement topic she'd have gone there

Your intentions are irrelevant really. Himynameisfred has stated what she wanted and her discomfort with your decision so you should accept her feelings and reinstate the thread in cb.

I don't think it should have been moved either - it's up to Fred to decide when/if she wants to seek bereavement support.

Your birth story was very moving Fred.

Couldn't it be in both?

Also... you wish her strength for the weeks ahead?. She hasn't broken a toe you know.

i dont care what mnhq intentions where i am sure mynameisfred is capable of finding the bereavement theads and posting on them if she chooses to do so.

she chose to share her birth story with us and so put it in childbirth, that is where it should have stayed unless SHE asked for it to be moved, horribly, horribly insensitive of mnhq, i am actually very shocked and tbh

I don't mean to attack you Helen, and I'm sorry if this comes across that way, but

Given this thread by Fred, surely proper responses would be

(if you did in fact want to keep it out of childbirth) - ever so sorry fred, more apologies, these are our reasons, hope you understand

or

(if you genuinely wanted to support her) - ever so sorry fred, more apologies, we'll move it back

NOT

this is how it is, we were only trying to help you access a support network, we did email you. Suck it up.

Strikes me as not only unsympathetic but also disingenuous.

That would make more sense if Fred had come on asking for help to deal with her bereavement , she didn't , she came into the childbirth topic and talked about the birth of her daughter .

So are you going to put it