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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Refusing home birth for back to back baby!

153 replies

StarshitTerrorise · 15/05/2012 18:18

Ffs.

I KNOW I have rights etc but why are they making it difficult.

Apparently I won't forgive myself if it goes wrong and I won't be able to cope with the pain.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Sirzy · 15/05/2012 18:20

Can't comment on the home birth side as I was induced BUT Ds was back to back, even so and with the "extra" pain of induction I found it more than bareable with just G and A.

I think assuming you have done your research you have to go for what is right for you! Good luck!

Original poster

StarshitTerrorise · 15/05/2012 18:24

I've had a back to back baby before. I couldn't cope with the pain. It went wrong. I was in hospital.

My not coping with the pain and it going wrong was IMO BECAUSE of the hospital. I'm not doing it that way again.

OP posts:

LaVolcan · 15/05/2012 18:25

Why is that a problem? If the baby doesn't turn so progress is slower than seems safe or you decide you need the sort of pain relief that can't be provided at home, you transfer in.

They never talk about not forgiving yourself if it goes wrong in hospital - it's always 'just one of those things' in those cases.

Perhaps your midwife is trying to put you off because she doesn't do many homebirths and isn't confident about them. You could ask them to provide another who is.

Original poster

StarshitTerrorise · 15/05/2012 18:29

It's not my midwife. I don't HAVE a midwife yet. It was the GP. He is going to recommend hospital in his referral apparently.

I am hoping that once referred it will all get a bit more sensible but I'm new to the area and don't know how things work. I don't have time on my side a I'll be term in 5 days.

OP posts:

LaVolcan · 15/05/2012 18:33

GP - says it all really. Some GPs are fine; but the majority IMO seem to be totally clueless as far as maternity care is concerned.

Get in touch with the Head of Midwifery and ask to be assigned a midwife pdq.

fatmummy35 · 15/05/2012 18:37

How far are you? How come you are under the care of your GP and not a midwife?

McKayz · 15/05/2012 18:39

Star, my baby is apparently back to back and my MW is fine with it. She's not happy about it being big but back to back is fine.

Tell them to bog off. But maybe politely.

Northernlurker · 15/05/2012 18:41

I suspect the GP feels a hospital birth is a better idea for you because he doesn't know you personally and there have been a number of issues haven't there? You need to stay calm and talk about why you want to be at home for the birth NOT why you don't/won't go to hospital. Just be clear that you plan to labour at home and you expect a midwife to be provided. You need to be clear that you have made a positive choice for your place of birth. If you go in all guns blazing though, saying 'they' can't make you give birth in a HOSPITAL then all they will hear is that you won't go to hospital and that naturally raises many questions. Whereas if you push that you've made a positive choice to be at home and home is the best place for you to give birth then that's a much more positive conversation isn't it?

thisisyesterday · 15/05/2012 18:41

wtf? i had my back to back baby at home
was my best birth out of the 3!

oh, and he had a giant head, weighed 9lb 5 and i had no pain relief.

they're talking crap, cos i am a major wuss (had all pain relief available with ds1)... so if i can do it ANYONE can do it

just say thank you for your advice, I've thought about it a lot, and I have decided to have a homebirth. I do not expect to be put under pressure over my decision

thisisyesterday · 15/05/2012 18:42

btw my midwife did comment on the not coping side of things, as she knew i'd had everything with ds1.
but she didn't actually say she thought i shouldn't have a homebirth.

and anyway, if you aren't coping you can transfer in can't you? so no problem anyway

thisisyesterday · 15/05/2012 18:43

and i agree too, my not coping was due to being in hospital and a variety of other reasons which were not relevant when thinking of homebirth.

(one day i'll manage to get my whole train of thought into just one post)

VivaLeBeaver · 15/05/2012 18:45

If you don't have a midwife yet I'm assuming you're not very far along???

So what is the GP banging on about the baby being back to back - he does know it could turn position from OA to OP several times yet?

Flisspaps · 15/05/2012 18:46

The GP can ultimately recommend what he likes. You are not obliged to follow that recommendation, and I would be surprised if a recommendation of a hospital birth on the basis of baby 'just' being back to back wasn't laughed at by the MWs.

Teaandcakeplease · 15/05/2012 18:46

Can you get a doula and have the homebirth?

Both mine were back to back, it was the no progressive, days and days of contractions that exhausted me the most. I lost hope and my pain threshold got lower the more tired I became and yes they ended up giving me an epidural, synto drip, broke my waters and a sweep (not in that order) to try and move things along. I wish I'd been able to stay mobile and spend lots of time on my hands and knees to help.

Emphaticmaybe · 15/05/2012 18:48

In my experience large babies can be more difficult than 'back to back'. My first twin was back to back, second twin breach. I think the position did make it more painful, but still managed with G&A, possibly small size of baby helped. If it's just the pain issue it's not necessarily a no no.

BillyBollyBandy · 15/05/2012 18:49

She has five days until term Viva but baby could still turn.

DD1 was back to back, turned in labour and shot out. I don't see it as being a good reason to stop a home birth. I'm sure the midwife will be more supportive.

CervixWithASmile · 15/05/2012 18:49

I completely agree with you, if you want a home birth this is definitely not a reason not to. First of all, the baby may turn at any time and is more likely to if you're mobile, more likely at home.

And secondly, if they don't, you'll cope best with the pain (if that's an issue) in the place you feel most at ease. And... If you want a water birth to help, you'll have far better chance of that at home too. And, like everyone says, you can always transfer in if you change your mind!

The GP will just look stupid putting that as a reason, surely? Anyway, not up to him!

Flisspaps · 15/05/2012 18:50

Starshit Are you on the Yahoo Homebirth group? If not you should get on there, lots of helpful advice on how to deal with things like this!

KatieMiddleton · 15/05/2012 18:52

My GP's reaction to my contemplating a homebirth was "Why the hell would you want to do that?".

I had a homebirth. Where I am they are very keen on hb for second baby ime. They practically carried me aloft in the antenatal clinic when I mentioned I was going to do it again with dc2.

As far as I know back-to-back is not that uncommon, does not make you high risk and if birth is going to be painful being in the environment where you feel most relaxed and less likely to make stress hormones and tense up has got to be worth a try. Besides, in SW London even with a b2b baby you still labour at home and just go to hospital to deliver... so you may as well stay at home and avoid going in during transition.

I self-referred to the hospital this time round to avoid GP panic.

Original poster

StarshitTerrorise · 15/05/2012 18:52

I'm 36 and a half weeks.

I am under a GP ATM because I have just moved and the surgery insisted that I was under a GP before I could be referred.

McK, I'm not happy about the baby being back to back either - LoL, but it doesn't make any difference. Labour will probably be hard yadda yadda. Rather be at home.

northern I tried to tell him about the role of oxytocin in childbirth but he told me stop reading the Internet.

thisis I've had an op baby before and spent 6 hours begging for an epidural that never came. I'd rather have my epidural begs ignored at home than in hospital.

OP posts:

McKayz · 15/05/2012 18:53

Star, you're always great on my moaning about big baby means no homebirth threads. You know they have to send midwives to you.

Say I appreciate your concerns but I'm having a homebirth.

Original poster

StarshitTerrorise · 15/05/2012 18:53

Emph, it's big AND back to back, but the GP didn't measure me and I didn't tell him

OP posts:

McKayz · 15/05/2012 18:55

Are you having my baby? big and back to back. They have plenty of time to move. I'm about 2 weeks behind you.

KatieMiddleton · 15/05/2012 18:56

Star I pm'd you earlier but you're local to me. Do get in touch if you need details - I have details for MSLC, Supervisor of MWs, Director of midwifery and all the wards. Plus your local branch of NCT and local homebirth support groups. And AIMS.

I'm not neurotic, I just happen to be very well informed for about 5 different reasons

thisisyesterday · 15/05/2012 18:57

my back to back labour was only 6 hours from first twinges to baby being born

keep upright, stay active. i gave birth kneeling up over the sofa which the midwife said afterwards was a really good position for an OP baby. I didn't know it at the time, just doing what felt best.

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