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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Refusing home birth for back to back baby!

153 replies

StarshitTerrorise · 15/05/2012 18:18

Ffs.

I KNOW I have rights etc but why are they making it difficult.

Apparently I won't forgive myself if it goes wrong and I won't be able to cope with the pain.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

EdlessAllenPoe · 16/05/2012 13:32

i found this discussion on shoulder dystocia very interesting

Hope Midwifery team are more sympathetic.

StarlightMcKenzie · 16/05/2012 14:04

That IS interesting EAP.

It seems that no one really knows what to do for best and that there is considerable merit in listening to a woman who is actively participating.

TBH I always wondered why you would begin with the McRoberts as the guidelines only give it as ONE way and don't stipulate it should be first. It's the most 'passive' position for the woman and probably the scariest.

jobnockey · 16/05/2012 14:13

My DS was back to back until the night my waters broke... my personal hunch is the act of him turning broke my waters (i didn't go into labour until 36 hours later) as I felt very uncomfortable in bed and he was being extremely 'kicky' and active... although this could have course been contractions anyway which turned him...
i had spent the previous 2 weeks leaning forward! i didn't sit on the sofa, only leaning over the exercise ball, did the scrubbing of the kitchen floor, anything on hands and knees really. DS was born in a pool at home but even if he had been back to back i wouldnt have been told by my amazing midwives to go into hospital... they didn't seem to think back to back was that big a thing(i think they were trying to stop me getting into a negative mindset)!
I reckon if you want a home birth go for it... but there is every chance baby might turn anyway...

junemami · 16/05/2012 19:15

Slightly confused...how does GP know baby is back to back? Assuming you're not in labour yet (!) so as long as babe is head down nobody knows what position he/she'll be delivered in. Also not really up to GP, sounds like you just needed to go through the formality of registering and having an initial consult to come under local midwife. Doesn't sound like anything worth getting het up over, just try and have a calm, rational conversation with your midwife (assuming you have one now).

StarlightMcKenzie · 16/05/2012 19:22

No. Still no midwife . Dragged myself to the local sure start centre today and asked where the local midwives hang out. They'll be there for a clinic tomorrow morning so guess who will also be there ?

GP insisted on feeling my tummy. He was talking bollock though (although baby most certainly IS back to back as I can identify limbs etc myself) saying that it was head down but with body back to back transverse.

He also told me that the head wasn't engaged (it isn't) but where he was telling me it was was just below my belly button. I KNOW it is in my pelvis. The last midwife I had showed m how far down it was and how to grab and wiggle it .

junemami · 16/05/2012 21:16

Doesn't really matter which position the occiput is in though until you're in labour, will most likely rotate to come out, really has no bearing on planning your care now (so yes bollocks). As you've done this before the head probably won't engage until labour. Don't need to tell you this but most important thing is that you're seen by a midwife! Can understand your frustration with the way things have gone so far, but try not to take it out on whoever you do get to see, hopefully they'll understand and will be supportive of your plans (or be able to give good reasons if not!). Good luck x

EdlessAllenPoe · 16/05/2012 21:26

more in spinning babies

there is a video of a large water-born baby freeing its own shoulders on the site which i can't find..though that's just cos it made me cry...

StarlightMcKenzie · 16/05/2012 21:30

This is my 3rd and I've never had an engaged head. (obviously I must have but it has never been noted as I have a wide but shallow pelvis so can always feel plenty of head).

I'll try not to be cross when I eventually see someone but I'm nervous that I'll be expected to give birth in hospital until they can manage a proper hb consultation/visit/appointment -whatever. I need to make it clear that none of that makes any difference to me, although I woukd prefer things to be done according to policy, if I go into labour right now I'll be having a homebirth, processed or not.

It's nothing to do with being difficult for the sake of it. The potential damage caused by being forced into hospital or anything other than a c/s is just too great for me.

StarlightMcKenzie · 16/05/2012 21:30

Oh I'd love to see that EAP!

Oh well. Perhaps I'll have a search.

EdlessAllenPoe · 16/05/2012 21:30

you are 36 weeks pregnant you need to be seeing a midwife!!! is there really no self-referral...

StarlightMcKenzie · 16/05/2012 21:34

Yes, but self-referral forms take up to 10 days to be processed .

I sent it directly to the Consultant Midwife's inbox though and she did respond saying it had been passed to the admin team.

I will go tomorrow to the community midwife clinic despite not having an appointment and insist they see me. I'm actually now 37 weeks by my scan date but don't trust it.

EdlessAllenPoe · 16/05/2012 21:36

got it

McKayz · 16/05/2012 21:37

Star, I know you don't live anywhere near me(at least I don't think so, north Yorkshire) but its similar here. The MWs won't see you until you see a GP. It's very pointless as the GP asks if it is good or bad news ie are you keeping it, work out a due date and tell you to take folic acid.

I always think its a complete waste of my time and GPs time too I think.

Brandnewbrighttomorrow · 16/05/2012 21:42

Sorry if i've missed this upthread, but how do you know that the baby is back to back? Have you had an ultrasound to check? My first was back to back but this was not picked up on by any of the midwives via just feeling the bump. Apparently they just feel for two lumps, one being the baby's head, one being the bum. Or knees next to each other if you have a ladylike baby like mine.... They also didn't realise that she was 9lb10oz. Very difficult delivery.

5madthings · 16/05/2012 22:01

i could always tell myself if baby was back to back! ds2 was back to back but turned in deliver, and then no 5 dd was back to back and came out that way, little minx BUT it was still only a 3hr labour, midwife said had she not been back to back she would have shot out!

you can feel yourself where babies bum and head is and also their limbs, its generally easy, esp at the end of a pregnancy to feel knees, elbows etc and you will feel the movement fo the baby in different places if the baby is back to back :)

StarlightMcKenzie · 16/05/2012 22:02

Midwife (50miles away) 4 weeks ago said b2b and also I know myself from having had one b2b an one not. The belly is squishy and the kicks are everywhere. Not sure the GP knew what he wa oing though.

TCOB · 16/05/2012 22:08

Starlight sorry not had time to read whole thread but just wanted to add that a midwife told me I was b2b the night I went into labour with DD. She was born after about seven hours very mild discomfort and four hours of actual labour at home after a blissful empowering homebirth just on G & A. 7lbs 7ozs so quite wee but verrrry long! Sorry not to add more detailed support now but it looks like MN is on it for you. Good luck and I can't wait to hear the birth story x

5madthings · 16/05/2012 22:09

yes once you have had more than one baby its def easy to tell the position of the baby, like you say the tummy feels different, kicks are different etc. and i doubt the gp routinely feels pregnant tummies, most dont so i wouldnt take their word as gospel!

to help turn mine i did the bum in the air, lots of time on all fours, leaning over birth ball etc etc, but it doesnt always work, MOST babies turn in labour as my ds2 did and i FELT IT!! OMG!! but my dd didnt turn despite all my best efforts, she was the smallest of my 5 so i think maybe my tummy muscles werent as tight so she had more space to be back to back, my boys were al big ie 10lb 13oz and they had their heads engaged and their bums right up under my ribs, they were practically stuck fast

YoullLaughAboutItOneDay · 16/05/2012 22:11

5Mad - it's only easy after more than one if both of them aren't back to back. No idea how to tell if the (hypothetical) third isn't!

5madthings · 16/05/2012 22:18

well if its not back to back you should be able to feel the bum at the top of your bump, which feels like the head basically and limbs and so therefore the babies kicks will tend to be all on one side, depending on which way the baby is, so either your left or your right, it is back to back baby will kick all over the place, but often the baby curls up feotal postion, so head down, bum at the top but over to one side and then the limbs will be the opposite side to the bum!

so if baby is head down and then its back is going up on your left side ish, may be more middle but generally its on of your sides, then bum will be top left of your bump and the limbs will all be going over towards the right handside and vice versa, does that make sense?

i think i found it easier to feel as i am small and my babies were all big, so they really didnt have much room, i had a neat little bump each time despite big babies so could really feel where they were.

YoullLaughAboutItOneDay · 16/05/2012 22:20

It does make sense, but no idea whether I would work it out (or indeed whether I will have a third. Still under discussion!).

StarlightMcKenzie · 16/05/2012 22:21

Oh, you just poke it a lot! Get you're fingers right in there!

StarlightMcKenzie · 16/05/2012 22:22

You'll have to have a third just to have a go!

5madthings · 16/05/2012 22:23

a right i missed the hypothtical bit about the third! you need to lie down really to feel properly or when standing up have a good prod, my dp used to HATE me poking my bump about thought i was going to hurt the baby, despite it being under several layers of muscles, in a uterous and a bag full of water! i loved having a prod and making the baby kick back etc, i loved being pregnant actually (most of the time) no more for me now tho :(

if you do have another one, get the midwife to show you how to feel the babies position, they will do :)

McKayz · 16/05/2012 22:23

MW says mine is back to back. Bum is at the top in my ribs on my right and most of the kicks are on my left hand side.

I keep thinking about inversions but with DH away I'm worried I'll get stuck

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