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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Refusing home birth for back to back baby!

153 replies

StarshitTerrorise · 15/05/2012 18:18

Ffs.

I KNOW I have rights etc but why are they making it difficult.

Apparently I won't forgive myself if it goes wrong and I won't be able to cope with the pain.

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Original poster
StarshitTerrorise · 15/05/2012 18:58

Thank you Katie. I'm rubbish with PMs so didn't see. Will look now.

McK lol at you having the same issues. Silly babies!

OP posts:
McKayz · 15/05/2012 18:59

Plus some women don't know the baby is back to back until the head is almost out. Do they just stop with the head out and go to hospital?

Original poster
StarshitTerrorise · 15/05/2012 19:01

Thisis, my instinct is to give birth kneeling or on one knee. In fact I labour like that too. Very boring.

I'm trying to find a pool that will allow this position whilst still keeping whole tummy under the water.

I used a hospital one last time but it never felt deep enough.

OP posts:
3littlebadgers · 15/05/2012 19:02

Good luck with it, don't listen to the nay sayers. I had my third at home and it was by far the nicest birth of the three. It didn't hurt any less but I still glow when I think about how lovely it was. I had lots of people, even my parents, warning me that I would never forgive myself when if it all went wrong.

Original poster
StarshitTerrorise · 15/05/2012 19:04

McK, I'm planning on the baby turning during labour. It isn't doing it any other way so I need som contractions to help.

Not bothered by the stingy bit. Never hurt that mich with previous two tbh. I mean it hurt like feck, but in the way a metal claw woukd hurt on an overwhelming itch. Sore but desperately needed.

OP posts:
EdlessAllenPoe · 15/05/2012 19:04

This is absolutely no reason to recommend against home birth - in fact you are far more likely to have a 'normal' birth if you are at home.

Gp = not clued up on child birth

as this is your second or subsequent both you and your baby are both safer at home presuming you are low risk. Op baby is not 'high risk'. they don't have to turn in order to get born. mine didn't.

Flisspaps · 15/05/2012 19:05

Starshit Birth pool in a box Eco regular. I laboured in one, was able to kneel or get on all fours and keep my huge bump underwater,

It was fucking paradise, labouring in that pool.

McKayz · 15/05/2012 19:06

Star my MW told me I need to try and turn the baby. Which is fine but did she give me any idea how?? Nope not at all. I've looked at spinning babies and stuff but nothing seems to help much. I stopped when it said I should be kneeling head down on the stairs.

LimeLeafLizard · 15/05/2012 19:06

I had a big (9lb) back to back baby at home. It was a long labour and tbh it was very painful. I coped well with some pain relief and much time in my birth pool.

At his birth it became obvious why he was back to back - because the cord was partially twisted round his neck. The labour was long because he was doing a 3/4 turn to untwist himself. I suspect that had I been in hospital I wouldn't have had so much time to labour, calmly, on my hands and knees in the water, that I would have been hurried along due to 'slow progress', he would have gotten stuck and potentially ended in C section.

GPs are not birth experts so hope you get some supportive expertise soon.

Best wishes for the birth.

thisisyesterday · 15/05/2012 19:07

i used a la bassine which was plenty deep enough for me. didn't give birth to ds2 in it, but did manage to have ds3 in it (just)

ds2 didn't turn during labour either, but really it was fine

LimeLeafLizard · 15/05/2012 19:08

Agree with Flisspaps about Birth pool in a box - great investment. You can even buy a brand new lining so you can re-use if you have another homebirth.

EdlessAllenPoe · 15/05/2012 19:14

it makes me really angry on your behalf that he used the 'you would never forgive yourself' line as well.

i would complain about that.

when a bad thing happens to your child in hospital you don't forgive yourself either - it is a really really stupid thing to say. fucking idiotic.

KatieMiddleton · 15/05/2012 19:14

La Bassine here too. Loved it. Got out to birth on my knees leaning on the seat of a hardback chair and hanging onto the spindles.

MW v impressed with it too - asked where I'd got it and about 20 other questions while pulling out the placenta HmmGrin

openerofjars · 15/05/2012 19:16

Hi Starship, am in same situation as you & McKayz but MW basically said, "Well, it might make your back hurt a bit more, but if you want we can break out the hard drugs at that stage". What is wrong with your GP? Bollocks to him.

McKayz · 15/05/2012 19:17

I have a birth pool in a box too. I haven't used it yet but I have filled it to just lounge in. It's very nice.

I got a letter from the consultant today saying he's changing his mind about my home birth. Well I'm not. So he can stuff it.

So I feel like I am on home birth rampage Grin

Original poster
StarshitTerrorise · 15/05/2012 19:22

Why is he changing his mind McK?

I don't HAVE a consultant btw, so there won't be a mind to change. I doubt there's time to get a consultant either.

My last birth was fantastic (not OP) in a stand alone birth centre. I only got in there because the last page of my notes was missing which detailed my pph.

I'm worried that first birth pph will affect this one too.

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Original poster
StarshitTerrorise · 15/05/2012 19:24

EAP, I have never forgiven myself for believing all the MLU hype for my first birth and trusting them. I'm not doing it again.

It's a bit unfair as it is a new area, but if one lot can run classes on active upright water births then pin you to the bed on your back with an OP labour Whikst denying you pain relief then it is at least within the realms of possibility and I'm not risking it.

OP posts:
McKayz · 15/05/2012 19:25

Because the baby is big. She weighed 3lb 14oz at 30weeks which is apparently a lb more than she should. I have another scan next Friday to see how big she is now and to check presentation.

DS2 was 10lb 5 and born at home. I can't see there being a problem this time.

iguanadonna · 15/05/2012 19:33

You need to bypass that GP asap.

Even with the very pro-homebirth midwives in my area (Cambridge), I had to be a bit... firm towards the end. They started being vague about whether it would be possible. But a stiff email did the trick. I think maybe they do this to see if you're really serious about it.

Was v good having doula there as well as midwife. There's quite a lot to do, including afterwards! I'd recommend. We had a trainee doula who was excellent and cheaper. Also worth knowing that doula association has funding for mothers who can't afford the fee.

Vickles · 15/05/2012 19:34

GP = 'General' Practitioner!
It's not the GP to say this.... Midwife and Consultant territory here.
Tell him or her to 'jog on!'
Good luck babe....xxx
(All mine were back to back, but had to go into hospital as I was Group B Strep)

rednellie · 15/05/2012 19:36

I haven't had a chance to read all the responses, but just to add my first baby went back to back during labour having been perfectly positioned all through pregnancy and she ended up turning by the time I pushed her out. I was mostly on my knees holding onto the back of the bed rocking like a mad woman, seemed to do the trick. Oh, and I was booked for a homebirth (only transferred for other reasons and still had her fine).

This time round one of my twins was back to back, no one knew, he came out gazing at the stars and I wasn't any the wiser. This with no pain relief at all.

I hope you get it all sorted - you sound like a perfect homebirth candidate IMO Grin

EmptyCrispPackets · 15/05/2012 19:42

GPs in my experience are afraid of home births full stop.

As viva points out, the baby will turn, it may turn back.

Seems ridiculous that you can't see a mw and have to see a GP first?

Original poster
StarshitTerrorise · 15/05/2012 19:47

Don't think it's going to turn. Has been back to back ever since they started assessing.

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Antidote · 15/05/2012 19:48

Bloody hell people, come & live in tower hamlets. I was given chapter & verse on home birth or midwife led unit being better. Had to really stand my ground to be allowed to chose hospital birth!

Even 2nd time round after emcs the booking mw was giving me both barrels on vbac, home birth, midwive led units.

Didn't dare tell her I want another cs Grin

Hope you get your home birth op.

Pippinella · 15/05/2012 19:57

My third (and last) baby was born back to back at hospital. I had wanted a homebirth but decided not to go ahead due to a couple of medical reasons. I was very disappointed.

The labour was fine but the delivery was terrible. I was pushing for seemingly hours. Thankfully it was a very low intervention birth and they allowed me to stay in the pool. However when he came out he was a bit stunned and needed immediate oxygen to get him going. It was quite traumatic and I was unmeasurably grateful I was in the hospital.

Once we were all settled and fine, we left the hospital only a couple of hours later so I was able to sleep in my own bed which was bliss.

Please do consider doing this, I dread to think what would have happened to my little boy if I'd dug my heels in over a homebirth.