Refusing home birth for back to back baby!

[StarshitTerrorise]

Ffs.

I KNOW I have rights etc but why are they making it difficult.

Apparently I won't forgive myself if it goes wrong and I won't be able to cope with the pain.

Oh - and I didn't see a consultant.

At least I'm in their system. Trying to get hold of someone sensible to explain how a homebirth happens if I go into labour before that!

You could have had the baby by then!!!! It's madness.

Ah well, the good news is probably that there will be no opportunity fir consultant interference, scan or big baby nonsense.

Just got myself a Doula yesterday so not alone with all this.

Well where I am at 36 weeks a MW comes to drop off a box of stuff. IME she will stay approximately 3 minutes in your home and moan about parking. You will probably never see her again.

Then when you go into labour you call the delivery suit to say you're in labour and you're having a home birth. This is to allow them to plan the shifts.

Then when you're contractions are coming every 5 minutes and regular you call them back on the labour ward and they will either send you a midwife or give you the mobile number of your midwife.

The midwife will fob you off until you are having contractions every 3 minutes. Then she will come out (you have never seen her before in your life) and be surprised that you are 5/6 centimetres dilated because you "seem fine". Then she will offer you the option of her going to the hospital to pick up equipment or getting the second MW to bring it.

Then a bit later you have the baby having just got on with it and left your dh to make small talk with the MWs who you then probably never see again. This is how it was for my first birth which was a hb

Get them to send the box of stuff to your home and do the booking in then.

Where I am you need to call the delivery suit if you want anything doing.

Katie yy to being fobbed off, my MWs turned up with faces when I'd phoned for the second time with agonising 3-4 minute long contractions 15-20 minutes apart and asked for G&A. They watched me for a bit and commented 'oh, they do seem rather long' and 'oh, they do seem quite strong'

The changed to when it was discovered I was 6cm...

I'm struggling with the idea that I might need gas and air at 2cm and be refused.

DS was back to back and that was the most painful bit. At 7cm my body had got used to the pain but at 2cm it was very definitely the hardest to cope with.

What do I do then?

So, got hold of community midwife team who said she's get homebirth team to call me. Fine, but I think it is about time someone gave me their contact directly.

Might try calling delivery after all....

Delivery phone number as advertised on website doesn't work!

Starlight - I know what you mean! I think it was the refusal to give me anything early on that led to a spiral of low spirits and interventions with DD2.

I guess there are two aspects - working to find ways to cope early doors, and getting the gas and air. Your doula can help with both can't she?

I found vocalising really really helpful (aka mooing like a cow and shouting my head off). Also getting into some creative positions to open the pelvis and finally inversions during contractions (by which point I think DD2 was pretty wedged, as it felt like being pulled apart, but did the job!).

In terms of getting the gas and air, well refusing internals might help on that score? Also having your doula briefed to do all the rational convincing of the midwives bit about why you might need it early. I had my doula on board for a similar reason about getting in the pool earlier than might normally be advised.

YoullLaugh I planned to refuse internals but the MW said they didn't like to give the G&A too early, and without a VE they wouldn't know it if was too soon I did ask if that meant no VE = no G&A and was met with 'well, no, but...if we run out, that's it' (I am 5 mins away from MLU )

Didn't feel I had a choice really - then the MW did a fucking sweep without asking 'whilst she was up there' - at 6cm it was hardly bloody necessary! I've complained about that...!

On the plus side, at home you get in the pool when you want so even if G&A isn't forthcoming the water may help.

Direct contact? ha! I was in established labour long before I was allowed that. Goodness knows what they think we'd do with it...

But I was told "you're not in labour dear. You'll know when you are" when asked to describe the pains. I bloody was!

If they don't want to stay do/will they leave the g&a with you?

Mine didn't even bring it with her until later. That was the "going to the hospital to pick up equipment" bit.

But next time I'm unlikely to even use the G&A. It did nothing for me although I know it works wonders for others.

Birth 1 b2b it did feck all. But contractions never lasted more than 15 seconds for whole birth so think the gas peaked long after the cx.

Birth 2 didn't need it until 2nd stage when I used it to take the edge off the urge and control it a bit.

But if this one is b2b I'll probably need it at 2cm to not 'lose it'!

Birth 1 b2b it did feck all. But contractions never lasted more than 15 seconds for whole birth so think the gas peaked long after the cx.

Birth 2 didn't need it until 2nd stage when I used it to take the edge off the urge and control it a bit.

But if this one is b2b I'll probably need it at 2cm to not 'lose it'!

Not to lose it just because you found it so bad with your first birth (I have read what happened there. Sounds barbaric) and the mental associations would be too much? Sounds like you need your doula really on board and advocating quietly, calmly and logically for you on that one.

Just noticed typo in my last post. Interventions = dd1 (not DD2). DD2 was brilliant!

Yay, in my 'pack' that came with booking in there was an 'emergency number' which stated that you must call your midwife instead if it wasn't an emergency.

I was worried about it not being an emergency but figure I don't actually HAVE a midwife to call.

Spoke to a fab mw who gave me no less than 6 phone numbers to call tomorrow, 2 of which are mobiles if homebirth mws.

Feel like sending her a bottle of wine!!!!

Getting somewhere at last.
She told me to insist on a home-assessment and booking at the same time and ASAP. And she has also sent them an email to expect my call.

Yay at last!

Yay for you getting hold of someone sensible.

Well done!

If you have no joy with those numbers from the sensible MW, call the emergency no again and ask to speak to a Supervisor of Midwives. You'll probably be seen within much more quickly if they get involved...

sorry haven't read all the thread but wanted to add my experience: i had a homebirth with g&a and the baby was back to back... all went pretty well.

I'd always planned for a homebirth and when labour started and the pain got too intense i rang the midwife, they said they didn't have enough staff and i would have to come in to hospital, i refused outright and then magically a mw was available! when she arrived she took one look at me and said 'your babies back to back', this was the first i had heard she had obviously had a bit of a swim around in the last few days! i was checked and only 2cm (much to my unbelievable disappointment) - thankfully this was a good thing as it took me a few more hours to progress and mw were available to come out by the time i rang them again.

at no point did the mw suggest that i couldn't have a hb because of the position of the baby or the pain. i can't lie, the pain was crazy bad and all in my back too (i didn't feel one contraction or urge to push in the front) but it was manageable with a tens machine and breathing, i did desperately need the g&a when it arrived and also had a birth pool which i think really helped (I'm told i did relax quite a lot when i got in).

my official labour was 4.05, dd1 was born very alert and scored 9.5 on the apgar, i did tear but the mw believe this was due to how quick she decended. however she came out the right way up so must have turned at the last minute.

I'm not sure how helpful all the above is but what i would say is i wouldn't have changed anything and will defo opt for a hb in the future -had i been in hospital i would have caved in to the drugs just because they were there and i knew i didn't want that. if your sure of your decision contact the supervisor if mw in your area and fight your corner,and remember you can change your mind at any point and head in if the pain gets too bad -keep an open mind!

good luck, and enjoy!

Bloody Hell, Starlight, what a palaver! Fantastic that you got hold of a great midwife and crossing my fingers for you. I hope the MW's email works.

McKayz, I have the same baby position as you and I asked my MW today if it's back to back and she said no, back down one side and limbs on the other. She said that if it was b2b then I wouldn't be able to feel the bum bump and would have kicks all over my abdomen, not just down one side. Sounds similar to yours.